"Why So quiet?"
I shook my head and focused on my readings "Why are you still reading it's the end of the year, We're almost graduating College. Still stuck reading books? Stuck being quiet and sad?"
"Be happy man! Ang yaman yaman mo, di mo gamitin pagiging mayaman." Chiara Said "Mayaman nga kami pero nabibili ba ng pagiging mayaman ang pag mamahal? hindi." I told her
"Gragraduate nga tayo pero pupunta ba sila? Ni hindi nga once na pumunta sa graduation ko." I smiled bitterly and shook my head
"What's your problem?" She asked. "I love.. I love kahit masakit. I love. That's my problem." I told her with all my heart.
i bit my lower lip to prevent from crying, i felt that my heart started to cry. "Are you okay?" I'm fine. but i never said it didn't hurt.
"Physically Yes, Mentally No. I'm not okay, But I'm fine." I stood up to leave.
Sometimes, it's hard to keep pretending that everything's okay. That everything is just fine, because all i can say is, I'm tired.
i don't know how to explain it, but i do know that it hurts, everything hurts.
i saw my self standing right in front of the mirror, At this point.
I can't see any of my flaws, my scars, my tears.
i guess this is how people see me. Well good and trained leader, passionate,smart, self-reliant,strong.
None of my.. scars, my tears, my flaws reflected. What reflected was my Face, my smile, my body.
But once this mirror is shattered. They will see a whole kind of different person.
A person who cries. who is.. weak.. and afraid. Afraid to tell how she is feeling. Who is weak under their hands.
i found my self waking up to the sounds outside of the door. I opened it to see chiara calling me for dinner
i fixed my self before heading down. I sat at my chair, and hearing them congratulate my brother
this dinner was dedicated to my brother for having his biggest client one yet, i heard that they had an agreement and it was important to my Brother
"Thanks guys! pero hindi lang ako dapat ang icelebrate niyo, Mga kapatid ko din. I just want to congratulate my sister, congrats Sam. Won't forget my favorite sister, Congrats Val! if hindi niyo pa alam Sam is Magna cum laude"
"And Val is Summa cum laude! congrats! Libre niyo ko ha, remember ako naghatid sainyo sa finals exam! wala kayo dun kung di ko kayo hinatid!" He joked, They congratulated me and my sister also
i was constantly staring at my mom waiting for her.. to congratulate me.. It once again broke my heart seeing her started eating knowing that she wouldn't congratulate me.
i smiled as a tear left a eyes and made a track down to my cheeks. "Apo, why are you crying?" lola asked, i shook my head "Nothing po, it's just that.." i smiled and stood up "Sorry." i left the living room with tears in my eyes
i can't explain. "Val? Anak. why are you crying? are you okay?" Dad followed me "is something wrong? here, sit down" He made me sat on the chair
"Why? What's wrong?" He asked, I can't take it anymore. "I'm tired." i cried
"i did everything naman diba? I grew up with books, walang pahinga. I studied day and night for grades because grade were the only reason why i exist."
"I'm tired, I'm exhausted. i was never talented nor smart enough to be exceptional for her, so i push my self to go one step further. even if it means losing my self, that how i love her."
"I would do anything just for her to be proud, just to hear her say 'Anak' kase ever since bata pa ako never kong narinig na tawagin niya kong anak niya."
"kase parang hindi naman ako parte ng pamilyang to eh, Kahit isang beses lang dad? please? Pwede bang kahit isang araw lang isa ha, isa. Isang araw lang ipamukha niya na anak niyo ko?"
"kase i feel like, Wala kong kweta dito. Alam konaman na ayaw niyo naman na sakin from the start. But please, please anak niyo pa din naman ako diba?" i cried on his shoulder
"I'm sorry.. but remember no matter what happens, everything will be okay.. Dad's proud of you, and you were the best thing that happened in my life. ikaw at ang mga kapatid mo, you were never a mistake from the very start." he said hugging me
"i love you, anak." I cried hearing it, call me OA but I have reason why I'm crying!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Might be confused, 1 year has passed.