**Warning! This chapter touches on the subject of miscarriage, contains gore and disturbing punishment and physical and mental trauma.**
Read at own volition.
*Long chapter*
-Jade-
Weeks went by as she laid tethered to her bed. Forced in place by her slowly healing wounds that had had the entire court walking on egg shells ever since that one audience. That last soul she had allowed to come forth because she felt so bad for not seeing them, wanting to tend to their needs and aid them in whatever way she possibly could. It had nearly cost her her life. Might still have cost her the life of William's and her child.
Elizabeth assured her that the baby was probably fine. That if she had lost it, the would have known. That it would have been impossible to miss. However, she had not felt a single thing from the little one, could feel nothing at all inside of her. No matter how long she would sit with her palms gently pressed against her stomach. No sign of life was shown.
The constant concern diminished her appetite and had her sleeping even worse. An evil spiral which caused her recovery to take longer than it probably should.
Poor Elizabeth almost lived in Jade's and William's chamber. Only leaving to fetch food, water or new bandages whenever Jade's needed changing. Apart from that, Jade never noticed her leaving her side to rest or eat.
Apparently, Elizabeth and Master Bergen had sent a messenger to the front to inform William of the attack while Jade swayed in and out of consciousnesses. Letting him know of it, but not how she had fared because there had been no way of knowing. This messenger had returned sooner than expected it seemed, having met another emissary along the way, offering to bring the news to the king since he came straight from there - leaving the messenger unable to tell Jade or the court nothing of their king's fate. All he had said was that the last time the other messenger had seen him, William had been alive.
She did not remember much else than that. She had a hard time remembering anything between the attack and now. Being constantly exhausted and thrown in to unforeseen fits of weariness that could have her sleeping or incredibly lethargic for days.
Three hard knocks ripped Jade from the oceans of her thoughts. Causing her to flinch and instantly causing her immense amounts of pain from moving even the slightest.
"Enter." She managed to call out in a groan.
"My queen." Hart's voice filled her chamber hoarsely as he entered, closing the door carefully behind himself. He bent the knee a meter away from her bedside, one hand to the floor for stability and the other at his sword. Avoiding to look directly at until she would speak to him.
Always ready. She thought and was reminded of someone she could not even think of without crying and exhausting herself.
"What do you need?" She asked, seeing the apprehension in his face immediately once their eyes met. He had something to ask of her and it was as clear as a day. His honest eyes and the transparent way he carried himself told her as much. It was something he did not want to say or was unsure of how to say.
"The... uhm... The body... my queen." He began, almost stumbling over the words when reminding her of the order she had given when asked what to do with Rowan's follower, her almost-assassin. "It is starting to... uh... rot and there are animals fea-"
"Leave it." She ordered him calmly when she could sense what the cause for his visit was - cutting down her attacker's corpse from the city walls. She turned eyes away from him and straight ahead, into the stone walls. "No one cuts him down, is that understood?" She continued.
Hart lowered his head in a respectful bow, accepting her orders and not wasting anyone's time begging her to reconsider like others had. She would not budge.
"You can remove him once he falls out of his noose." She ended the conversation with those words. "Not a minute earlier."
"As you wish, my queen." Her guard answered and left.
-William-
"There it is." Erik sighed in relief. "Castle Eldhen. Finally."
William lifted his gaze from the back of Dimma's neck and mane towards his home. Dimma had been the easiest and closest thing to let his eyes rest upon while making the long journey back home. His shoulders were slumped from sitting in the saddle nearly without any rest. His back was sore, the lower part of it burning dully and spreading upwards. His legs were nearly numb but occasionally cramped.
The only one he cared enough to listen to was Dimma. When the horse needed his rest, he listened. The rest could either follow or catch up once they had rested. He did not want to close his eyes to sleep, felt like it was a waste of time he could spend to get back to her. To Jade.
All of the discomfort he was enduring was bearable compared to what his mind was putting him through, what it constantly did to his chest and heart. And it all become a thousand times worse now that he could see the castle. Now that he was finally here he felt reluctance creep up inside of him. As soon as he made it passed those gates, he would have to face the fact that Jade might be in there... but breathing no more.
Every time his mind forced him to confront that finding her cold and pale was a horrid but very real possibility, his heart would start to pound so hard in his chest that he felt dizzy and weak. There had been several occasions where he actually thought he would collapse in the saddle and fall face down into the dirt. Now was no exception. Could already feel it happening.
Whenever his mind was not completely crippling him, his heart did. How it shrunk and twisted itself at the slightest image or thought of having lost Jade. Never getting to see those icy blue eyes find his, or hear that sharp tongue serving him exactly what he or any one else deserved. Never seeing her smile again. All of it had brought him to tears more than once on the long road home.
For that reasons, he lowered his gaze the very instant Castle Eldhen caught his eye. He could not face it, not yet. Not ever if she would not greet him alive and well.
No other messages or messengers had brought them any news of how Jade was doing, or if she had passed. Not a peep. Nothing.
I will live in tormenting bliss for as long as I can. He thought and kept his eyes lowered. Deeming it better to be miserable and unknowing for as long as possible rather than completely destroyed after facing what laid ahead to soon.
"What is that?" Christian asked aloud as they came closer to the city walls. Calling on William's attention but not gaining it. His will to not hurry into what could be the worst day of his life overcome his curiosity immensely.
"Looks like..." William's father rode up beside him to get a better look of what Christian was speaking of.
"Is that...?" Now Erik joined them.
"It is." Robert this time.
"One can almost pity the fellow..." Erik whispered, sounding scared and shocked at whatever he was seeing.
"Do not." William's father almost snapped, still keeping his voice just as calm as it always was. "If he met this fate while she was in charge... then you can be certain that he deserved it. If not much - much - worse."
Those words peaked his interest somewhat. His father had referred to Jade, and how she wielded her power and authority as queen. How she despised using it against others but would if someone harmed those she cared for or those she felt responsible for.
"How do you know she-"
"She ordered, of this you can be certain." His father interrupted Erik. "She would never let anyone else do something like that to another living soul... Also meaning, that if it was done before she got here, then she would have ordered them to be cut down."
"And since they are left there... it is her doing?" Robert wondered. Met by an affirming rumble for response from William's father.
As William's eyes lifted and found what everyone was speaking of, he was taken aback for a second. So brutal was the sight for a place like their home. So far from the front.
A limp body hung to the right of the gates. It did not sway an inch to the sides. It just, hung there. About a couple of meters from the gates, so those passing through did not get the worst of the stench, but close enough to serve as an uncompromisingly fierce warning for those entering with malicious intentions.
"He was not hanged." Robert stated as they got closer. "He is drenched in blood."
"Someone killed him." One of his friends spoke quietly. "Do you think it was him? The one who-"
"Most likely." Another one cut in before they dwelled too long on the matter. "Someone gave him what he deserved."
No one said anything.
She did it. He thought, remembering that she was able and had killed in the past. Hoping that it was true. That if she had been killed that she had taken him with her in the most gruesome and brutal way possible. Please tell me she was the one who did it since I could not.
Riding into the courtyard he could barely think straight. Nothing in his head made sense.His head felt thick and foggy as his feet touched the flagstone.
"Your grace!" A stable worker shouted and came running towards him. "You are just in time for the audience!"
"What audience?" William asked but could only think of one person who would hold an audience if Jade was no longer in power.
"Fucking snake." He hissed and set of towards the main entrance.
He pushed the doors to the throne room open with what felt like the absolute last strength he had in him, fueled only by his hatred for his mother's advisor. Jade had been right about him. He was a snake.
There were no guards, no one stood guard outside the doors and waited for him to appear. No one opened them for him so he could walk right in without changing his pace even the slightest. No, he had called all of those to the front and left the smallest amount of guards and soldiers here. His shoulders wailed their silent and weary song, the muscles in his arms chiming in as well. So tired and worn out from months on the battlefield and coming home from it, from standing hunched over that table of maps and pawns, from not having slept deeply enough to actually feel rested.
A sea of gasps swooshed through the throne room when he looked up. When those inside the room realized who had walked in. Faces turned pale and stiff at the sight of him.
William felt his own breath catch in his throat at the sight that laid front of him. What resided on his throne. It was not the person he had expected.
"Jade." He uttered her name as if reciting a prayer. She is alive. He thought and felt his heart beat race off with joy.
Until his eyes had had the time to really see her. A ghost of what used to be his beautiful and lively queen was enduring the audience.
What the actual fuck is this? Why is she here? She looks like she is on the brink of death. Why is she out of bed?
"Out." He commanded everyone who was not Jade before he could ask what the hell was going on. "All of you." He barked when everyone took too long to realize that he was in fact speaking to all of them. He felt how his feet picked up the pace without even trying as he hurried over to her. "NOW!" He roared. The crowd quivered and hurried towards where he had just entered. Spilling out of the throne room as quickly as they could.
"Your grace!" Master Bergen appeared to the left side of Jade as he started to ascend the steps towards her. If he had been there all along he did not know. All he could see was her. That she was still in his life.
"Especially you." William growled, a finger pointing a silent death threat at the man. "Leave now or I swear I will cut you down where you stand." There came no objections. The advisor seemed wise enough to remove himself from William's vision without his usual groveling.
There was only one person aside from Jade left when William took the last step up on the dais. Elizabeth.
"Jade." He whispered, barely believing that he was actually touching her as he knelt before her. Grabbing her hands as soon as she was within reach. She looked up, appearing so weak he feared she would break. Her cheeks hollow and describing just what she had been through since she had been ripped from him.
"You are back." She spoke quietly.
"Why are you here? Holding a bloody audience?" He whispered, leaning in towards her as he spoke. His hands seeking her out.
"I..." Jade fell silent, too spent to finish her sentenced.
"You should not be here." He said quietly and scooped her up into his arms as carefully as he could, feeling her head hit his chest heavily. She was no longer conscious. "Jade?" He breathed, instant fear rising in him. He looked down at her and felt his throat thicken and ache. "Jade!"
"She is just tired." Elizabeth assured him, a distant mumble despite standing so close and placing her hand on his left shoulder. "All she does is rest or sleep. Most of the time at least."
"Then why the fuck was she holding an audience?" He asked, his voice hoarse.
"The queen insisted on it. Has ever since she was able to somewhat stand on those two legs of hers."
If someone is stubborn enough... it is her. He thought and felt a little bit more at easy when he could feel Jade take a deep breath in his arms.
"She looks so frail..." He mumbled as he watched her.
"She lost a lot of weight out there." Elizabeth stated the obvious. "Though she gained some of it back by now. You should be happy you did not see her the day she got back. The sight of her... cried me eyes out when no one was looking."
He did not speak. His voice would doubtlessly crack if he did.
"Although, this is no better." Elizabeth mumbled and stroked Jade's cheek softly with her thumb. "It always breaks my heart when she gets like this."
-Jade-
She woke up in the middle of the night. Sweating and crying from the pain in her side, her hand also furiously screaming at her. Her cheeks wet with tears and sweat.
Before she was able to wake up fully, images of him filled her head. Of how he had called of the audience she was holding. Had she dreamt it? Of William's return? It would not surprise her... her dreams were vicious and cruel at times.
A whimper slipped out of her and turned into a loud cry in pain.
"Jade." A comforting but worried voice appeared to her right.
Frightened, she hauled herself away from it. Crying, nearly screaming, out as she moved too sudden and carelessly. The voice hushed her and she felt a weight on the other side of the bed. Someone was lying next to her, now moving towards her.
"It is me." The voice promised her. "Jade, my love... it is me. Look at me." The weight in the bed disappeared when she did not stop shying away. She heard the curtains around the bed being ripped open and squinted her eyes when it let in the light from a lone burning candle. She watched as a shadow moved over to the candle, took it and lit some others and then walked over to her side of the bed and put one of them down on the nightstand.
"Look at me. It is I." The voice repeated and she noticed how the person sat down on the bed, close to her.
"William?" She half gasped, half cried silently when his features became clearer with each passing second.
She threw herself towards him before he could answer, hooked her arms around his neck and forgetting once again that her wounds would punish her for it instantly. He caught her, whispering to her to be careful.
Unable to keep away, she pressed her lips against his. Catching him off guard but still reveling in the kiss she was starting to believe she would never experience. William fell into it and she could sense how he had longed for it as much as she had.
"Yes." He replied after the kiss faded and held her at bay while making sure she was alright. She watched him closely in the faint light of the candle as he did. Watched its orange and yellow shades light his face up for her sleepy eyes. Showing her the face she had only seen in her dreams since she had last seen him. When he had been beaten right in front of her.
He looked so tired. Nearly broken. Just like she felt. Stretched out so thinly that he would break at any moment. The usually clean shaven face was covered in a rough and neglected stubble.
She cupped his cheek with her right hand, pressing her lips together to quench the whimper of pain that wanted to break out of her.
How was he here? When had he arrived?
"Yesterday." He answered her before she could get the words out. Seeming to have read the questions in her eyes. She closed her mouth that had opened without her noticing it. "Lie down." He told her gently and nodded at the bed.
She did not move one inch. Scared that if she did, and if she closed her eyes, she would wake up and find herself all alone in that very bed.
"Please." He added and assured her with only his eyes that he would follow her into the bed. "You need to rest."
"But-"
"We will speak in the morning." He assured her. "Lay down." She shook her head in silence. Refusing to move if he did not follow her. They silently came to the understanding that both of them wanted to be as close to the other as possible. He crawled back into bed with her, placing himself behind her they could be close without hurting her.
"I can't." She cried silently from the pain, feeling tears roll down her cheeks as she tried to lean back against him.
"Come here." He whispered calmly. Hushing her softly as she let out another sniffle. "Lean against me and just relax. Let me do the rest."
Jade leaned herself completely against his chest but failed to unwind her body when he leaned back. She tensed up, in fear of what was to come and not in control of her pain. He stopped moving as soon as he felt it.
"Relax, Jade. If you do not, then it will hurt more. I promise I will not do anything that will cause you any pain." He whispered and softly brushed away hair from her forehead with the palm of his right hand.
"How are you?" He asked once he had successfully gotten her into the position he wanted her in, referring not only to her but also to the one he had yet to meet. She could tell how his hands were itching to touch her, but also how he forced himself to give her space. Scared to cause her any form of discomfort or pain. "How is the b-" He started to ask when he did not get an answer.
"I do not know." She whispered, looking down at her stomach out of habit. "I have not felt him since the attack."
"Him?" William asked carefully in her right ear, sorrow hanging in the back of his throat. She closed her eyes while his hand caressed her forehead once more.
"I think it is a boy..." She spoke after a couple of seconds and gently touched the right side of her stomach, the unscathed one. "... Liz has been saying that it is a boy ever since we found out." Feeling the corners of his mouth twitch at the news but what was most likely a hint of a smile was never fully allowed to exist before sorrow and sadness quenched it.
A kiss was placed on her temple to fill the silence for a moment. Then he spoke again. "What do you mean you have not felt-"
"He, or she..." she corrected herself since there was truly no way of knowing if it was as boy or a girl, "have not kicked since... then." She finished, her voice growing thicker with each word. Her hands pressing a little firmer on her belly to keep herself from crying.
"I..." William's whisper died off hoarsely. His throat letting out a thick half cough to let him finish his sentence. "I am so sorry, Jade." He sighed and placed one of his hand on top of hers. Unable to stay away. "I should have-"
"Don't." She stopped him quietly. It would not change anything to dwell on things they could not change. "We made it back here. All of us."
I hope. She thought.
-William-
He listened to her breathing as she tried to go back to sleep. Unable to believe that she was back in his arms, and he in hers, he stared down at her body. The sight of how thin she had become tortured him as it spoke of her hardships. How she had suffered and been left to fend for herself. It was hard to believe she had been thinner, like Elizabeth had told him.
His hands carefully placed themselves against the sides of her belly.
With his eyes closed he tried to convince himself that he was finally home and had her. Even if she could still lose their child, he was so grateful that she had survived. Would seek out that monk who had helped her here first thing in the morning and make sure he had a temple or shrine of his own.
But for now he would go nowhere. Would sit with her in his arms for as long as he possibly could if that was what she needed. He needed it.
Hours went by before he started to feel comfortable enough to rest. Watching over her as she seemed to rest. Just when he was in the state of being awake and asleep, he felt something against his right hand. Just below his thumb. A slight movement that brought him straight back.
Readjusting his hand slightly, he waited to see if he had imagined it or not. Could not determine if it had been a dream or just wishful thinking as he had been drifting off to sleep.
Seconds later, which felt as long like days, he felt it again. Much stronger than the time before. A kick.... or a punch of a very small hand. He had no clue if it had been the sooner or latter, but was overcome with relief and happiness all the same when he realized what that little thump meant.
"You are still here." He whispered and kissed Jade on top of her head affectionately. Refusing to move his hand from where he had felt their child greet him for the first time. Making little circles around the area with the side of his thumb. Tears blurred his vision as he watched the little patch of Jade's skin where the baby had moved against. "Your mother will be most pleased. You had her worried sick."
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So my loves, they are back together. And... we are closing in on the end of Hunted Queen. Feels so strange but we are.
But what will happen until then?
Let me know what you thought of this chapter! Always so happy to read your thoughts on it!
Thank you as always for reading. Your support is everything to me and I am grateful for it every single day.
Have you checked out the spin off yet? Of Blood and Duty? The second chapter is coming! Stay tuned for it!
Lots and lots of love
Jenny