Ashley.
I observe the little girl with careful eyes. There's something familiar about her. I follow her dance moves, focusing on her a little too much and overlooking the other kids.
She's dancing with grace, outshining the other kids. Her moves are swift, but sharp enough. They're strong and precise, she has absolute control over them. For such a small human being with such a small frame, her coordination and control is immaculate. Every step is calculated, yet she seems to be doing it so freely. So naturally.
She's in perfect harmony with her dancing.
Though there's a long way for her to go in order to succeed as a professional dancer, it wouldn't be a struggle for her. Lately I've stumbled upon less and less kids with a natural talent for dancing. It feels like most of them are being forced to dance. And though you can teach someone the correct dance moves, and even the correct technique, you can spot the difference. The most important element – the feeling of harmony between the dancer and the choreography – is missing.
This girl is young but possesses all the elements to be a successful professional dancer. I can imagine working with her intensively and individually, perfecting her talent. She has potential to make herself a good name and win countless competitions.
When the music stops I realise I've focused on her for too long. I failed to keep an eye on all the kids for an equal amount of time. Some of them lack the drive, a very necessary component. They might be skilled, but their performance is dry and forced. It's usual for little kids to have a lot of energy, to be eager to perform. They tend to lack skills, but possess the drive.
The class is almost over, and so is the choreography. I've been told to go easy on them and I'm intending on following my orders. Their choreography is bouncy and fun, exactly something they need. It's the perfect way for them to ventilate their energy.
The parents start to come to pick up their kids. One by one the kids leave, until there's only a few left. The little girl that caught my attention calmly packs her stuff and leaves by herself. No one stops her, she says bye to her friends and leaves.
Once all the kids have left I start to dance for myself. I repeat my stretching routine and start with an old choreography. I dance for over two hours.
I finally clear my head and allow myself some time free of overthinking. I focus solely on my choreography, trying to change a few moves. I play around with it for almost an hour when I decide to create a new one. I've told myself to try again – to build myself a new, much improved career. To ameliorate my dancing skills and improve.
It's late when I fall down on my knees, panting for breath. My throat is dry and itching, my heart's beating out of my chest causing me physical pain. Though I'm in pain and I can feel my body aching, there's a smile on my face. Sweat's dripping down my forehead, soaking my clothes and messing up my hair. Through all that, I'm finally happy I've danced again.
I pack my bag and head to the locker rooms. I've always avoided showering or changing at public places, but after Christina's tour and the individual locker rooms with an individual shower she showed me, I opened myself up to the possibility of having to try it one day. And that day is today. I have less than an hour to get ready, then someone will pick me up, as Mae informed me.
********
I'm not surprised when I step outside.
I should've guessed, made a bet with someone. When Mae told me she'd get someone to pick me up, the first name that popped up in my mind was no other than Alex's. Understandably, we've been unintentionally crossing paths a little too much lately.
Now that I'm really looking into his eyes, that damn cunning smirk plastered on his face, I find it hard to believe. Though something keeps on making us cross paths often, I still never quite believe my own eyes when I see him. Now is no difference.
Under the dim streetlight his features seem a little more sharper than usual. Still equally handsome as always.
Instinctively I look around, a small part of me hoping that this is just a prank. A prank no one would think of, because no one understands the relationship between Alex and me.
When he laughs and speaks, I sigh. "You'll have to put up with me, angel."
I swallow hard, thinking how wrong this is. Yet I take another step closer to him.
"You're picking me up?"
He laughs again. "Who were you expecting?" I don't answer him. Anyone but him, though deep down I knew I'd be facing him exactly. "Prince charming on a white horse? You'll have to put up with me and my bike." I wonder why Mae sent Alex. She must know I don't know anyone else from their group, but it could be an opportunity to meet. "Though I could be a perfect adept for prince charming." He winks at me.
Is he always this cocky and flirtatious? Am I being treated differently than all the other girls? I push these thoughts away, forbidding myself to think them again.
Alex's voice cuts through the chain of my thoughts. "Are you going to stand there for the rest of the night?"
My eyes travel to him again, specifically to the vehicle behind him. He's leaning against his bike, legs crossed and arms deep in his pockets. The silver buttons on the leather jacket reflect some light as he slightly moves.
"I am not getting on that thing," I say.
Alex raises his eyebrows leisurely, but doesn't say anything for a long time. "How else do you intend to get to the party?"
I'll walk, I almost tell him. I realise I don't know the direction or location. Mae told me not to worry, that she'd send someone to pick me up. Now I'm wondering why. Why couldn't she just have told me the location? I'd get there myself.
"I was told to pick you up, and I'm not leaving without you." He tilts his head to the left, slightly. "Mae specifically told me not to return without you. So," he pushes himself off the bike, taking a step forward. "Don't make it more troublesome for me, please."
"I am not getting on that thing," I repeat myself. "I don't want to die."
He walks over to me, and I realise the distance between us was very small this whole time. We stood so close to each other, but now he's dangerously close. When he speaks his voice is low and husky. "Oh, angel, you're not going to die. Not with me."
He brushes one strand of my loose hair behind my ear, turns around and returns to his bike. To his previous position, leaning against his bike. As if he just did nothing!
"I have a helmet for you, if you're worried."
"If I'm worried?!" I furrow my eyebrows. "Did you think I'd ever get on that thing without a helmet on?"
He chuckles, loud and clear. "No, angel, I did not." He reaches for the helmet, throwing it to me. "Put it on."
I look back at the bike, taking in all the details. Then at him, patiently waiting for me. What would he do if I'd throw the helmet back? Instead of doing so, I inhale and exhale deeply, swallow hard and put it on. I'm too tired to be causing unnecessary trouble and drama now.
He smiles at me as I walk over to him. Straddling his bike, he looks over his shoulder as I scarily climb behind him.
"Hold on tight, angel."
I wrap my arms around his torso, loosely and nervously. When he sets off I tighten my grip, holding onto for dear life.
********
I can hear the music before we even enter.
Alex opens the door; a heavy steel door and I enter first. Not knowing which way to go, I let him guide the way. It's a narrow corridor with only the door we entered through and a wooden door on the opposite end.
A rooftop party and bonfire, I say to myself as we reach the rooftop. The air's hot, an occasional soft breeze brushes against my skin.
Mae and her friends gathered a number of feet from us. There's a bonfire in the middle of the dedicated space, with a number of provisionally made. There's a small table near the seating area with some drinks and snacks on, and a big speaker as well. The music's on, and although it can be defined as loud, the closer I get the more I realise it's not loud at all compared to the power of this speaker.
I can hear their cheerful voices, their laughter and see their silhouettes. They seem like a big group of people and for a second I get scared. I feel the same emotions as the night in the club.
I steal a quick glance at Alex's direction. I want to turn around and run away. Yet I don't.
Mae turns our way when we're just a few close feet away from them. "You guys made it!" She exclaims excitedly.
"Where are the others?" Alex asks casually, taking a seat next to the green haired boy. I search for his name in my memory. All I can think of is the first letter of his name, A. The rest is clouded.
"They'll come," the boy answers. He's outstretched on almost the whole couch, which I hadn't noticed before from afar. I search hard for his name in my memory, but with no luck at all.
I take a seat next to Mae, not daring looking around. From afar it already looked like a big group of people, and if more are to come.... I push any intrusive and anxious thoughts away. I wonder if I'll ever be able to fit their friend group, join their dynamics. It's obvious they have relationships that are deep and close, willing to do anything for each other.
And so I keep to myself.
I'm sitting quietly, minding my own business and listening to their conversations. Mae tries to engage me, but I politely exclude myself. The whole time I can feel someone's eyes on me. I know they belong to Alex, and I don't dare to return the look.