JORDAN:
It was dark by now. The windows were rolled down, allowing a good breeze inside the car.
Twenty minutes into a no destination drive— I began to feel anxious and bored.
There were moments I wanted to say something but after overthinking it— I didn't.
I wasn't expecting much conversation due to our earlier argument, but the silence in the car was uncomfortable. There wasn't even music playing until...
"Can we turn on the radio?", I politely asked.
Side profiled, Alexis nods—- "Yeah sorry my bad".
I watched her multitask between the road and the radio until she found a station. Shortly, "Like I Want You" by GIVEON starts to play:
Sometimes I wish you knew
But I disguise the truth
I say I'm happy but I'm still stuck on us, mmm, mmm, mmm
Does your mind play this game too?
Think 'bout me and you
I guess I'll just pretend
Until it all makes sense, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm
See you face to face, I'm thinking 'bout the days we used to be
But I can't make a scene, but I can't make a scene
See you face to face, I'm thinking 'bout the days we used to be
But I can't make a scene, but I can't make it seem
Like I want you
You
Even if it's true
Even if it's true
I toyed with my phone as the music played, carelessly scrolling on Instagram—double tapping.
My phone then notified me of an iMessage from Tameeka.
____________________
~ThingOne🤞🏾♥️{9:39PM}:: Y'all like a toxic married couple stg 😂.
~[9:40PM]:: Pleeaseee stop 😩. Lol I just didn't want to be home alone.
~ThingOne🤞🏾♥️[9:41PM]:: You better than me. If I was you, I would had dipped and went to my mans just to be petty.
~[9:41PM]:: Lol, true
______________________
I sighed not trying to think too much on Tameeka's last text.
However, that thought was put on hold once I realized the car stopped and was being parked— I looked out the window.
Viewing the surroundings, I was confused— as there was no clarity on where we were. My curiosity went on, as I locked my phone—becoming present with the scene.
I hear Alexis sigh, probably louder than what she intended.
She then removes her seat belt, and then exits the car—leaving me inside, as the music continues.
I watched her stand outside of the car, as she began to lean against the car door.
That only increased awkwardness as I timidly watched—trying to see her motive.
However, nothing was happening.
I sat there for at least a minute or two... as the radio now played the next song.
I exhaled, mentally preparing myself before exiting out the car. Once I was out...
I was now seeing more of the environment. It was safe to say we were near a public water sight. However it was nothing like the ones on television nor the ones I knew of.
Instead, it looked more dull than awe—my opinion.
I closed the car door—noticing the crunchy rocks under my feet that were tricky to balance on.
I stumbled a bit trying to get around the car, catching Alexis's attention.
"Easy", Alexis says gently, taking my arm once I got closer.
"I'm fine—I got it", I say, finally balancing myself as Alexis releases my arm.
I felt her eyes on me for a moment, but then she resumed her position as I unintentionally joined, leaning against the car alongside.
Silence played between us—-but the music was still lowly present.
"Where are we?" I ask, exhaling.
Alexis shrugs, "I don't know, but I always pass this spot on my way to work", she tells me.
I took in her reply, not knowing what else to add or ask. I just stayed quiet for the moment, trying to grasp my surroundings a little more.
"I just thought I'd check it out—kill my curiosity", Alexis adds, "Plus it has a water sight".
I looked at the water as mentioned. From a distance, you can barely see it.
It was dimly illuminated by some light poles. No boats, no pretty buildings across the waters.
Just plain flowing water.
"Not much of a sight, but yeah", I finally said.
"Well... yeah..", Alexis drags out—causing me to realize maybe I spoke my mind too blunt.
"Sorry I'm just saying it's..."
"Nah you're right. Looks a little more appealing during the day, I'll admit.", Alexis says.
I didn't have any reply.
We were both quiet.
Listening to the water wash around along with the low music, and anything else that made a noise.
"I wanna get closer— so I'm gonna shut down the car... unless you wanna get back in??", Alexis assumes.
"Oh uh... I'm fine", I tell her.
Alexis turns off the car, locking it right after.
I just stood about as I watched Alexis walk near the rusted guardrail that separates sightseers from the water.
I studied her as she focused on the water view.
I planned to just stay behind—- until...
"Come look", Alexis says aloud, with her eyes still glued to the water.
Of course my anxiety spiked up. I was hoping we wouldn't get too close, due to my slight thalassophobia.
Yet, I walked over to the railing where Alexis was.
"Look how far it stretches", Alexis says looking into the water.
Silent exhaling, I held back my anxiety — and began to view what Alexis was pointing out.
The water did run far.
Or maybe the lack of light made it seem that way.
"Wow.", I say, trying to peak my interest.
"Right", Alexis replies.
"Yeah...that's pretty far", I added, looking at the water.
I guess Alexis didn't have a response back, although I didn't leave much to respond to.
Quietness took over again for a bit, giving me the opposite of headspace. My mind was fumbling, trying to understand the transition of arguing to now being here.
The thought of Alexis being jealous was still on my mind, as it was also confusing to even assume.
I know what the feeling of jealousy is, but it was just hard accepting that someone else might feel that way in regards to me.
I sighed silently, letting that thought and similar ones run its course.
"If someone gave you a million dollars to jump in—would you?", Alexis's voice halts my thoughts.
Caught off guard by her random question— I chuckled first, looking to see if that was a real question—yet a question she would ask.
However, by the looks of it—-Alexis was indeed waiting on an answer.
I chuckled again, "Absolutely not", I answered.
Alexis chuckles, "Really?"
"Seriously. I hate deep/wide water. Plus I can't swim and what if the current is high?" I replied.
Alexis chuckled, "Ahh the current. Good point—- but wait, you can't swim?"
"Nope", I replied, looking into the water again.
"Why is that?", Alexis asks.
I now felt her eyes on me.
I shrugged, "I mean I don't know. I've tried. My brother tried to teach me but anytime he did, I drowned", I told her.
Alexis spoke, "Drowned?".
"Yeah. The water kept choking me", I explained.
Alexis laughs, "That's not drowning— if you drowned then there's a possibility that you wouldn't even be here Jordan"
Joining her eyes, "I mean...I don't know, it felt like I was" I added.
Alexis just nods humorously , as she looks back at the water—causing me to do the same.
I was tired of the quiet moments, so to avoid that...
"Would you do it?", I ask to gain back eye contact.
As expected, Alexis looks at me...
"Do what?", she asks.
"Jump in for all that money?", I ask.
"Oh absolutely not", Alexis mimicked my answer.
I laugh, "So why are you questioning me— if you wouldn't do it either"
Alexis shrugs, "Everyone is different, and most people would. I'm just trying to see if the circumstances were to be different, would that motivate the person ", Alexis states.
I nodded, taking in her reasoning...
"Hmmm".
Alexis speaks, "Don't mind my randomness.... It's how I clear my head sometimes— usually I'm alone when doing so".
I nodded, "No judgment here"
My eyes were back on the water—but from my peripheral vision, I saw Alexis moving.
My curiosity peaked, as I looked over at her, watching her pick up a small rock.
Alexis tosses the rock into the water, causing little small circles to form as the rock bounces on the water. She then exhales—- as if there was a lot on her mind.
It started to get awkward again, and I didn't know if I should say something or not.
However, by that time, we were both looking back into the water.
I felt my thoughts creep back up until...
"I get uncomfortable these days with comfort", Alexis says randomly, with her eyes still on the water.
I took her statement, but I didn't know what to reply nor did I understand what she meant by it or why she said it.
However, Alexis continues...
"That's the best way I can explain... it's like—- I love comforting someone else when needed but It's not easy being comforted", she says, "comfort is something different to me".
I was slowly getting where she was taking this. I just listened, dazing into the water— preparing for us to finally acknowledge the elephant in the room.
Alexis continues , "I know that's not healthy— but comfort is like trust to me", Alexis says, "So when you comforted me last night —-I don't know....", Alexis half explains.
I felt a little funny about her explanation.
My eyes shifted over to her...
"Well...maybe that means you don't know if you trust me.", I pointed out the obvious with a shrug.
Alexis looked at me, as she shook her head...
"But I do—- and that's why it was uncomfortable", Alexis further explains, "Jordan—- I've only known you for less than six months, and I trust you. Which doesn't even compare to how much I care about you. Which is probably way too much than I should because caring about you that much, sometimes makes me... confused . ".
Listening to Alexis express that, caused mixed emotions on my behalf. I didn't understand entirely...
"Confused ?", I question.
Alexis sighs, as she adjusts her body to face me. She then takes a moment before saying...
"I'm seeing someone or.. was seeing someone— I don't know what's happening now actually", Alexis rambles.
My stomach flipped a bit ... not expecting that.
*She's seeing someone?
Alexis continues her rambling...
"She's a great person. Very in tune with herself, and I enjoy her. I know she'll make a great partner—", Alexis pauses...
"...but I hesitate with her."
Still surprised by all of this and not understanding why I'm receiving this information, I tried to speak...
"Oh..."
"I never hesitate when it comes to you.", Alexis blurts.
Off guard—I took in my bottom lip. Trying to comprehend what was being said. It's like I heard her but I didn't. It's like she's saying something but she's not.
"I don't understand Alexis", I say.
"Neither do I—I don't understand Jordan. —- I don't understand why I was ready to run into a burning building for you. I don't understand why your tears and injuries become my priorities. I don't understand why I didn't think twice about you moving in. And I especially don't understand why I got so upset at the thought of you alone with Bobby"
It got quiet, but this time I was willing to allow it.
I didn't know what to say— Her last statement not only caused a hard swallow but it just proved that Tameeka probably was right...
"Jordan, I don't know what this feeling is, but it's been here since two months ago—and it's still here"
My heart was racing by now, and my mind was a static mess. — I didn't know how to feel.
"So I'm asking you.....," Alexis's voice appears again..
"Should I hesitate?"
BOBBY:
(2 Months Ago...)
Rushing to Tyshay house, I was on the phone with Maleek.
"Man, I don't know what's going on. She's not picking up now. She got me in this Uber on my way to her" I explained.
"I mean this ain't nothing new bro. When don't you", Maleek jokes.
Usually I would join in on the humor or deny his whole joke —-but my stomach was on the uneasy side for some odd reason.
"Nah bro— this time feels different. She was screaming bad", I explained.
"So what do you think? The mom is up there beating on Tyshay?"
"Could be. Her mom ain't all there these days. Tameeka's dad did a number on her. All I know is if I see Tyshay hurt, I'm not letting that slide".
"Okay Ike— heard you, all smoke on moms", Maleek jokes.
I shook my head, not really in a joking mood.
"Man, I'm not saying all that. Can you be serious for a moment bro?", I was agitated.
Maleek sucks his teeth, "Ight bro. Stop the crying, we already got a 'Kevin'—-but I hear you", Maleek says.
I sighed, calming down a bit...
Maleek speaks again, " Look if the moms on some real bug out shìt—just scoop Tyshay and y'all can come this way. My moms staying with her little boyfriend tonight. Talik with his pops"
Hearing Maleek's offer was enough to let me know that he cared. Nobody would give up the free crib like that.
"I appreciate that bro—- hopefully we won't have to get to that point—but I'm about to get out this uber, I'll hit you back with the movement", I tell Maleek.
"Bet"
I ended the call.
ALEXIS:
Morning came fast...
I was driving Jordan to school. No one spoke. It's been like this all morning. Matter of fact, it's been this way since last night.
I innerly sighed, not being in the mood for nothing—I just kept my eyes on the road—as I assumed Jordan was doing the same or probably on her phone.
Speaking of phones—mine started to ring on my Car's Bluetooth. I glanced to see that it was Bree calling.
I pressed my button, and in seconds Bree's voice was on speaker.
"Brodie you up?", Bree asks.
"Uh yeah. I'm actually driving right now—dropping Jordan off", I say plainly.
"Okay bet. You wanna swing this way? I need your input on something I'm working on", Bree says.
As said again, I wasn't in the mood for anything—however, Bree was exceptional for right now.
"Yeah—I'll come as soon as I'm done with this. That's good?", I ask.
"That's perfect—hit me when you're close", Bree says.
"Noted", I say.
The call ends, leaving an even more awkward silence in the car.
Thankfully, it wasn't for too long....
I pulled up to Jordan's school building. On cue, I heard her gathering up her things— and then releasing her seatbelt after.
"Thanks", she says, with nothing else behind it, as she opens the door to exit.
"Mmhm", I said as I finally looked at her, leaving the car.
Usually I would wait a few seconds, but as soon as she closed the door—- I drove off.
*****
I sat inside Bree's small studio/man cave.
It was only us two here, due to the fact that Lylani was at the office, and Jonah was out and about. Bree invited me over early to talk about her engagement party.
The topic was on and off due to Bree supposedly creating a new beat for a song she wanted to present to Lylani.
Meanwhile, I was looking back at my messages with Mirena this morning...
______
~Mirena✨ [7:44AM]: When a girl has gut-feelings, it's normally accurate. I'm trying to think this out.
*—::[7:50AM]: Noted.
~Mirena ✨[7:55AM]: That's all you're going to say? I don't understand why you're the one who seems upset now.
~Mirena ✨[8:50AM]: Helllllloooooooooo?
*—::[8:58AM] Mirena, whatever your gut is saying to you...go with it.
~Mirena✨ [9:02AM]: Ummmmm Ok... not sure why you're being dismissive.
~Mirena ✨[9:10AM]: Look Alexis, maybe I overreacted yesterday. Can I stop by later? I would rather talk in person.
____________
"Over all this shit", I mumbled to myself.
"What was that Brodie?", Bree says, while lowering the volume on her equipment.
I sighed, " I guess Lylani just gonna have to be mad about me not having a date, because clearly I don't know what's going on with anything".
"Chick issues?", Bree engages.
"I guess so", I say, not wanting to speak deeply about it .
"Yeah I know how that goes", Bree inputs, "but aye, check this out—don't take these girls to heart", Bree says with a shrug.
"Says the one who's soon to be wed", sarcasm fell.
Bree chuckled, "Man, it doesn't even matter—it's still tough out here", Bree states as she messes around with her mixer board.
I wasn't sure what she was implying, however...
"Noted but I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I want— or maybe I do—and maybe I just can't have it... ", I say.
"Damn—shawty must have done a number on you Bro. Ain't seen you this worked up over a chick since that time you had to yoke Domo up in that club"
Not expecting to chuckle, "I did not yoke her up—and I'm not worked up. ", I corrected.
Bree chuckled, "Well you're something Brodie. So forreal—what's going on?"
"I'm fine Bree. Just got my feelings hurt a little, but I'll be alright. I was confused about something, but it's all clear now.", I say.
Bree nods, "Well I'm happy you got some clarity. However, I feel like it's time to change shit up", Bree says without depth.
"Meaning?", I chuckle, not understanding.
"It's time to explore more, get out there— steer away from your type", Bree advised.
Frowning in confusion, "My type?", I chuckled again, focusing on that part of the statement.
"Lex, come on...you know you have a type", Bree says.
I shook my head, "I really don't though ", I laughed, "I've dated different types of women, all shades, and sizes—they just have to fall into my standards when it comes down to the personality, etc"
"Nah, not appearance wise", Bree says, "It's the type of females you go for"
I laughed, "Okay Dr. Phil", I joke.
Bree laughs, "No bullshit. Who better to tell you than me?"
"Noted—so go on", I say now intrigued by the twist of the topic.
"Go on what?", Bree chuckled.
"Elaborate", I request humorously.
"Ight bet—let's see...", Bree thinks, "Okay got it—remember sophomore year in college? Back when I was messing with Drew before Lylani came along?".
"Yeah I remember Drew", I say.
"Bet— so remember you came that weekend to stay on campus—- I took you to Drew's room to smoke, and remember her roommate? Amber?".
"Well of course I remember Amber. We hit it off, but only spoke for like a week or two. What's your point?", I asked.
"Okay now think about HOW you ended up communicating with Amber—remember the whole period shìt", Bree says jogging my memory.
"Oh she had an accident on her bed—she was embarrassed. I helped her. So what", I say.
"Bro, see wait...you're not following ", Bree says, "Ight let's not use Amber. Matter fact we gon use Domo".
"Okay", I chuckled watching Bree struggle to argue her point.
"How did you start talking to Domo?", Bree asks.
Confused, "Lylani—duh", I chuckled not understanding why that was even a question she'll ask.
"Obviously bro—-but Lylani didn't really put you on. Remember we were all at Lylani's mom's house. Dominique was visiting—you did not pay that girl no mind"
"I mean well yeah. I wasn't about to be all on her, I ain't know her. I wasn't even interested in her until...—."
Bree cuts me off, "..until that other time when we all got smacked, drunk out our asses, and Dominique was crying and venting about her depression. She was drunk as fucck, and you stayed with her that whole night—taking care of her", Bree states.
I shrugged , "What's your point Bro. You're losing me ", I say, still not getting it.
"Brodie—I feel like you go for the helpless ones—on some Superman shìt".
"Huh?", I chuckled confusingly.
"I'm serious Bro. I know you have a good heart, but I think you like to be needed. "
"I like to be needed?", I quoted, in confusion.
"I don't mean it in a negative way—like I said, you have a good heart— so you always go for the needies", Bree tried to explain.
I frowned...
"Bree what are you even saying right now? It's like you're trying to say I purposely go for the females with issues", I said, becoming a tad offended.
"I'm not even tryna play on you bro—come on. I'm just saying for the time I've known you— the type of girls who fling your way always got something going on", Bree states.
"I mean who doesn't have shit going on? I even have shit going on. That's like me saying you got a thing for druggies just because Lylani use to be a pill-popper"
Bree sucks her teeth, "Lex chill on that. I swear I'm not tryna word it like that. I'm saying— It's like after you finish being Superman, you'll have shawty under your cape. Which is why I used Domo as an example, because that's what happened. You're not hearing me though Brodie—"
"Bro, are you hearing me? First let's backtrack—the Amber shit—that girl wouldn't leave me alone after that situation. Amber came onto me, and if I'm not mistaken—you were hyping it. If you wanna talk about facts".
"Ight that's true ", Bree admits.
I continue, "Next—I didn't hit it off with Dominique because of her damn depression. Granted, yes I felt bad for her—took care of her that night. But then that was all", I argue.
Not caring if Bree had a reply—I went on...
"About three weeks passed from then, I'll admit she was on my mind, I was wondering if she was good since then. So I asked Lylani for her number, and shit just happened. So I don't know what the hell you're saying ", I heavily expressed.
"Brodie look. My bad—I'm not about to sit here and argue with you. Not worth it", Bree says after seeing me get worked up.
"I'm not tryna argue with you either but come on bro," I exhaled.
Bree and I never really argue—I felt weird even being upset right now.
"My bad Lex, look fuck this topic— fuck what I said...fuck Amber, Drew, Dominique, Lylani, and whoever else—- we good bro!", Bree states.
I calmed down, accepting the quick white flag being waved.
Bree's my family, I know she never means to disrespect. I just didn't agree with what was said.
Bree speaks again, "Are we good?", she asks with her hand held out for reassurance.
I looked at her hand for a moment...
I really wasn't in a kubbaya mood, however— I know none of this will matter later.
I sighed...
"Shouldn't be a question", I say, dapping her up.
"See, all love", Bree assured, "You know I'll never play in your face Lex. I was just stating an opinion based on my viewpoint—you stated your facts—now I see".
Loosening up— "Nah, my bad Bree. I got in my bag. I'm just already frustrated so... I don't know, but I hear you", I say.
"And I hear you—we're good", Bree says.
I nodded before I shook my head, "Fuck Lylani though??", I chuckled.
Bree laughed, "Don't tell on me bro".
We laughed together.
JORDAN:
I was at my locker alone, due to Tameeka being a little off time than usual. Or maybe I was extra early.
I sighed with my back pressed against my locker, as last night's conversation played in my head.
*Why couldn't you just answer?
I beat myself up about my dismissive behavior.
I closed my eyes, trying to get it all out of my head.
"I'm sooooo stupid", I say to myself—weirdly wanting to go back in time.
"Stupid about what?", Tameeka's voice alarms me, causing my eyes to jump open.
Hesitant of an answer, "I—um, ...I left my history book", I lied.
Tameeka gave me a face, "Girl...", she said while digging in her tote bag, "Here, just return it before my third".
I awkwardly took the book, "Thanks best friend. Life saver", I say.
"I do what I can", Tameeka's bird tone comes to play, "now what's tea because I woke up with no new messages from you about your little car date with Alexis".
"Oh my gosh—it wasn't a date Tameeka, for the last time", I say walking away, heading towards the bathroom as routined.
Tameeka trailed behind, "Let's be honest best friend—it's okay if y'all still doing the do ".
We finally reached the bathroom, entering inside.
"We are not doing that Tameeka", I say while unintentionally checking the stalls to make sure we are the only two in here at the moment.
"Okay fine, maybe y'all not intimate in that way—but feelings are obviously still there".
Hearing Tameeka say that automatically took my mind back to last night's situation. However, now wasn't the time to tell her she was somewhat right.
"Why do you keep assuming that? Just because we had that argument, and took the drive together?".
"Jordan be for real — I sat on that phone as you cried your little eyes out over this girl. You don't even do that with Jonah"
Not liking that response...
"I cried because I was upset about the curfew thing. So I don't know what you're talking about", I argue, "Plus I'm emotional, and so what if I haven't cried over Jonah—shouldn't that be a good thing. "
"Girl... okay—you're switching the topic now", Tameeka says waving me off, as she then steps in front of a bathroom mirror
"I'm serious Tameeka", I say, standing beside her.
"I am too Jordan, but it's cool— you're just afraid", she says while examining herself in the mirror.
"Afraid of what?", I rolled my eyes.
Tameeka shrugs, "Maybe all the truths it comes with", she says now smearing her lip gloss on her lips.
Not knowing what she meant, or caring to know...
"Look I'm over Alexis", I say, "..and she's over me".
"So you're telling me you haven't even thought, at least one time, about rekindling?", Tameeka challenges.
With a sigh, "I...s-she"
"Look hesitation," Tameeka cuts me off.
"You didn't even let me speak", I retorted.
After being done in the mirror, Tameeka finally faces me...
"Girl just admit to it—you doing all of this for what?", Tameeka replies.
"Doing all what—and what is there to admit, Tameeka?", I was annoyed.
"YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR HER", Tameeka enunciated, loudly.
Ignoring her opinion and statement.
"Tameeka even if what you're saying were to be true—you wanna know what I found out last night?", I say in a matter of fact tone.
Tameeka didn't answer, she just made a hand motion for me to continue...
"Alexis is dating someone", I confirm.
Tameeka looked unimpressed, in fact she did a fake yarn.
I rolled my eyes, "So there's that—but I'm fine with that because I have a boyfriend", I forced out.
Tameeka chuckles, "Okay Jordan", she says sarcastically.
"Why are you saying it like that ?", I question, annoyed now.
Tameeka took a moment, "I'm not saying it like nothing Jordan—it's whatever you say"
I didn't understand why she was acting weird all of a sudden.
"You're being funny", I say.
"How?"
"I don't know—your tone just sounded funny when I said—.."
".. that you have a boyfriend?", Tameeka cuts me off..
"Yeah", I said.
"...I mean it is funny— funny that you have a boyfriend....that you clearly are not even dating", Tameeka scoffs.
Shocked by her response. I froze a little, not knowing what to say at first. I looked at her weirdly...
"...Tameeka what?", my heartbeat sped up feeling my lie unravel.
Tameeka didn't say anything at the moment, she just looked at me with folded arms.
I tried to speak again, "Wh—what ar—..."
"Best friend. I'm not dumb. —well at least I would like to think— so with that being said... I know."
Not expecting that, I started to feel really anxious.
"You know what?", I scoffed, playing dumb.
"Jordan cut the shit. You know I hate dumb shit. I know you and Jonah are not together", Tameeka says.
It was awkward, my heart wouldn't stop beating fast... I literally didn't know what to even say. However, I opened my mouth....
"Best friend... I was goi—..."
"It's cool Jordan", Tameeka shrugs.
The school bell rang, indicating the first period was beginning in five minutes.
"Let's get to class— we'll just talk at lunch", Tameeka suggests.
"Lunch? Why can't we just talk now?", I ask anxiously.
"Girl, you know Ms. Brent is a bitch, she'll have a fit if we're both late to math—Let's just get the day started and then we'll talk at lunch"
"Tameeka...", I say, seeing if she's serious or not.
"Jordan", she says in the same tone.
I took a moment before I sighed, "Okay I guess".
I didn't like the fact that she was a tad nonchalant about it. I didn't know if that was worse than what I predicted.
However—we both walked out of the bathroom, heading to our first period.
**************
I was now in my third period, barely listening to what Mr. Kalooga was teaching . I have too much on my mind.
"So in about five minutes, I would like everyone to get together with their partner. You guys are responsible for utilizing your after school time together—and all I'm getting is complaints and excuses as to why some of you have not started. Therefore, we will be using as much class time to help some of you out", Mr. Kalooga announced.
Soon enough, everyone started to change seats to work with their partners.
Bobby came over to my desk, pulling up a chair.
"You got the notes and stuff?", he asks me as he sits.
"Yeah, it's right here", I say, pulling out our notes from yesterday.
"Alright and about after school...", Bobby mentions.
"Yeah", I say for him to continue.
"I might not be able to work on this stuff. I have.. this... program to attend", Bobby tells me.
I nodded, understanding.
"That's fine, we can work on the big parts right now. I didn't get to finish up when I got home last night", I say dully.
Bobby nods, opening up his notebook.
"You okay?", he asks.
*Ugh, no— is what I wanted to say.
"I'm fine—just tired", I say instead.
Bobby nods, "You and Alexis okay?".
Not expecting that question...
"Ummm, yeah why?", I ask, not sure why he would ask that.
*Did she say something to him?
*I mean they are cousins, I wouldn't be surprised—but then again I would.
"Just asking, it seemed like there was a little tension with the whole carrying the boxes thing yesterday —just checking though ", Bobby shrugged.
I nod, "Oh...well yeah, we're okay", I say, not knowing what else to add.
That conversation then died down, as we then focused on our project assignment.
*************
It was finally lunch-period, I was waiting for Tameeka to get out of her class and meet me down here in the cafeteria.
Usually I'll wait for her by her locker—however she wanted me to secure one of our favorite tables.
While waiting, I couldn't help but be anxious. I tried texting Tameeka during most of my classes to apologize, but she just kept telling me it was okay.
I wasn't used to Tameeka being this calm, even during our small little arguments, I never felt this way.
On top of that— I also couldn't get Alexis off my mind—which was the majority of my thoughts besides the ones involving Tameeka.
I just feel like everyone hates me right now.
I sighed, and on cue— I watched Tameeka make her way to the table. Once she arrived, she rolled her eyes...
"Jordan, stop with the sad 'I have no friends' face—I'm not mad okay? "
"Yes you are", I sigh.
Tameeka sits down..
"I promise you I'm not.", Tameeka states.
"So why are you so calm, and avoiding me?", I ask.
Tameeka chuckles, "Girl you are drama. Never did I avoid you. I couldn't text like that in class. Hence why I said lunch"
"Okay well you're still too calm", I point out.
"What do you want me to do? Tell you to square up?". Tameeka jokes.
I semi chuckled, "Well at least that wouldn't be too far fetched. Your calmness is making me feel like you're done with me".
Tameeka laughs, "Jordan you are not my man", Tameeka jokes, "Best friend—okay fine, maybe I'm a little calm because my feelings are a tad hurt—and yes at first I was upset, and got a little more upset after calling you out on it...", Tameeka starts.
I waited for her to continue.
"However, I can't be a hypocrite. I had a damn pregnancy and abortion—and I didn't even tell you until shìt hit the fan", Tameeka spoke.
"Okay, but even after you told me all about that, I told you about the shower thing with Alexis—and then we pinky promised no more secrets and—.."
"It's okay—You get a pass Jordan", Tameeka says.
"I get a pass? Why?"
Tameeka sighs, "At the end of the day, it's your business Jordan. You deserve a pass because I know getting into a relationship was a big deal for you, so breaking up probably was much more. ", Tameeka says.
I took in Tameeka's words—which made me feel somewhat calmer.
"So you're seriously not mad?", I ask for reassurance.
"Best friend—NO", Tameeka chuckles, "I know you're sorry. You don't have to stay sorry. It's okay. Stop beating yourself up"
I exhaled, feeling better.
However I was curious about one thing though...
"Wait...how did you know?", I ask.
"Girlllll —once you sent that boob picture to Alexis as a dare, I already knew what was up. Especially because you were more concerned about Alexis' response more than having a guilty conscience about Jonah".
Impressed by her observation...
"Wait... so if you knew by then, why have you kept bringing up all this boyfriend talk about Jonah.".
Tameeka shrugs, " I was having fun"
I gave her a face before we both burst into laughter.
"However— I felt like it was time to hang up the fun of watching my best friend squirm around the truth. So yeah", Tameeka says.
Speaking of the truth, I got quiet again—- wondering if she knew the other part of the breakup. The part that haunts me.
"D-do you know... why... we broke up?", I ask.
Tameeka shrugs, "Typical fuckboy shìt I suppose, but whenever you're ready to spill the tea—- I'm here for you. —but rule number one, never spill tea that you still wanna sip".
Confused, I chuckled, "What does that even mean?", I ask.
"That means, if you are planning on going back—which I would never judge you on— don't bash too hard.", Tameeka says.
I took note.
"Because if you know me, You know once I hear some crazy shit, I'm just not gonna like him ever again.", Tameeka adds.
I didn't care if Tameeka was to never like Jonah again... because these days I don't.
At this moment, It's like I had an opening, but anytime I thought of speaking of that situation again... I get paranoid. I just want it to go away. I didn't like thinking about it.
With that being thought...
"Well there's not much to it. Like you said, typical fuck boy", I say.