a = aftercare (what they 're like after sex)
ah, mr. march, where do i begin... if you desire soft aftercare and sweet kisses, you've made the wrong man come. james is a restless man who loves murder just as much as he loves you. at times, he might love it even more; who knows. however, what he lacks in sweet aftercare he makes up for with kind words. james loves to praise you and tell you how wonderful you were during sex. and loves to go on and on about how he sees you as this perfect goddess. mr. march does not, however, feel the need to clean up his seed. since james thinks his work is beautiful and he might even say he's created a beautiful masterpiece for you -- on you. mr. march will most likely just skip aftercare and begin planning his subsequent murder or just prepare for fuck you all over again.
b = body part (their body of theirs and their partner's that they like)
mr. march is very proud of his cock. however, since he is a proper gentleman, he does not brag about it and its size. except when he is teasing you by saying, "darling, you are so desperate for my lengthy wood." besides being proud of his cock he also is very proud of his hands and arms. he's done so much chaos with them, and yet he's brought you so much pleasure with them.
james is very proud of your legs and hips. honestly, he saw your legs first, and he was hooked. james also loves your breasts, but he admires your legs the most. he finds them to be so lovely. he could spend hours stroking them with them in his lap.
c = cum (anything to do with cum; basically i'm nasty)
james loves to come anywhere. but since he is from the 1920s, he believes that a man should always come inside his wife. (or some bullshit like that.) if you tell him not to come inside, he'll do as he's told because james could never stand to disappoint you. but he'll be low-key mad about it for like a minute. then he just makes mrs. evers clean up the sheets. (poor deary.) james honestly loves fucking your tits. if you don't want him to finish inside of you. then he's painting those tits with his release.
d = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
i'm pretty sure it's canon that the countess and james both fucked while a poor victim was nearby. so, one can only assume that the same goes for you. james would most likely make john bring some poor soul into his suit. only to show them how he can get a blowjob from you, and he can also torture them at the same time.
e = experience (how experience are they? do they know what they're doing?)
ooh. now, this is a gray area for me. i can't figure out if james ever fucked mrs. evers. i know he proposed to her first, then elizabeth showed up, and he dropped her. but after elizabeth and james broke up. i don't know if james would ever have sex with anyone else. he's honestly a simp. before elizabeth, james probably had a few girlfriends. still, he broke up with them cause he thought they were just after his money/he was worried they were going to find out about his hobby. so, there's that. i can't see james fooling around with sally or liz either. so, i really can't figure that out. i'd tell me your thoughts as for knowing what he's doing. we all saw the scene where he's hitting it from the back. the man knows what he's doing.
f = favorite positions (this goes without saying)
james loves eye contact. but he loves making you feel pleasure even more. so, james favors any position that gives you the most pleasure at the moment. james is very dominant during sex, but if you suggest a position, he'll basically pretend that he was the one who suggested it because he loves to take credit for giving you pleasure.
g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
a mix between. "darling, i might just kill you after this so we can forever be together." and "darling, you are my goddess, and you will forever be a beauty." there's nothing but those two.
h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
men never really trimmed back in those days. so, it's right to assume he's hairy. but well-groomed. mr. march is a classy man. so, of course, he's going to keep his little hairs in check. james, however, does know how to feel about them and how you often pull on them. so, he keeps them long enough for you to enjoy them.
i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
so, fucking romantic. the man will be saying the sweetest, most romantic shit ever. he probably lights many candles and makes john fetch him a bunch of roses just to put them everywhere. meanwhile, mrs. evers is all bitter about this cause she still loves james and makes her do all the work while he plans his subsequent murders.
j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)
okay. so, you know how i said that mr. march hasn't had sex since the countess broke up with him. well, the man is fucking touch starved. so, it's very often that he's touching himself. i think he gets hard when he's killing, so like right after james would kill, he just goes into his office and goes at it with his fist.
k = kink (one or more of their kinks)
blood kink, gun kink, knife kink, and choking.
blood. the man is a killer. what more is there to say. he sees blood as a way to paint everything that the two of you have done together. meanwhile, mrs. evers is furiously washing the linens and is hella pissed cause you both somehow ruined her favorite thing.
gun and knife kink. the man wants to kill you. but not without your consent. hell, he probably would do it without your permission.
he loves choking you. the idea that he could bring you to the end of your life and make it so that you'll be with him forever. fills his soul with utter bliss.
l = location (favorite places to do the deed)
everywhere around the hotel. since it is his. he basically sees the cortez as his sex hotel now that he has you. he doesn't give a fuck if guests catch the two of you. but if you're not comfortable with them, he'll kill them for you.
m = motivation (what gets them turn on, what gets them going)
mr. march kills someone. he gets a boner. mr. march sees you in a revealing dress. he gets a boner. mr. march listens to you as you plot a murder. he gets a boner. basically, he's a teenage boy because of you.
n = no (something they wouldn't do, turn offs)
he won't kill you until the time is right. everything else is probably on the table.
o = oral (preferences in giving and receiving, skill, etc.)
james loves both equally. though he claims he loves your juices more than anything in the world. he could spend hours eating you out and has. i think his mustache just gives your clit just so much-needed friction.
p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
fast and rough. i think james does like slow and sensual, but only if you are in control.
q = quickies (their opinion on quickie, how often, etc.)
mr. march loves to take his time with you, so quickies are rare. maybe if he's in the middle of killing someone and he doesn't have enough time, then it will happen. but right afterward, he's on you again.
r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they like taking risks? etc.)
loves taking risks. loves anything new and would have been considered a taboo back in his time. he's up for anything.
s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
i think james gives it his all, and he can only last like three rounds at a time. not to mention he's busy murdering people. but if you tell him you just want to screw all day, he's down to clown.
t = toys (do they own any toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
i don't think he'd be fond of toys until you showed them to him. james doesn't know jackshit about all the new sex toys, so i feel at first he'd be hesitant toward them. but after he realizes just how much you like them and how they make him feel. james allows them in the bedroom, but it's only on special occasions. he's still old famous at heart.
u = unfair (how much do they like to tease?)
he doesn't tease too much. because mr. march is a simp and he refuses to leave you high and dry. he loves your pussy, and mr. march wants to fulfill your needs along with his. but i think his teasing is more on edging, if anything.
v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make. etc.)
ugh. i could listen to mr. march's grunts all day. he's not really loud unless you're topping him. then the man is fucking loud and doesn't know the meaning of keeping his voice down.
w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
james was so excited after he witnessed your first kill. he just had to have you right then and there. everyone in the hotel knew y'all were fucking cause of how loud the two of you were. but james just honestly had never been happier. he never had cum that hard either. i think he honestly was so excited to have found someone like him. (cause i think james low-key thinks all of his friends at devil's night. except for john lowe. are losers.) he basically fucking forgets he spends hundred years pinning after the countess.
x = x-ray (let's see what's going under those clothes)
mr. march has a lovely cock. he's very proud of it, but he refuses to talk about his member since he is a gentleman. it's thick and veiny when erected. when you tell him he has a beautiful cock, he blushes but then smirks and gives it to you good.
y = yearning (how high is there sex drive?)
super high. i can't be sure, but like i said before, he spent hundred years with sex. so, he's essentially always ready. and it seems like everything you do always turns him on. let's just say. when he's not killing people, he's hundred percent trying to find a way into your panties.
z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
mr. march doesn't get sleepy afterward because he's dead, not tried. so, basically, when you sleep, he watches the whole time. or he spends his time plotting murder. speaking of which, i think james would have planned your murder within the first day of meeting you. since he knew right away, he wanted to be with you forever.