She's like 3 or 4 months pregnant right now and Jude is ten, Theo is six, and Stella is 4 1/2
ps I attached the song gospel by the national bc it fits with the end of the chapter so if it doesn't load here, I suggest looking it up on YouTube (:
*Norah's POV*
"....and six times ten is what?" I asked Jude, my eyes trained on the almost finished sheet of problems in front of us. "Come on baby, you know this."
"Sixty," he answered with a small frown. "But you can't have a square root of sixty."
"You can in a calculator."
"That's cheating!"
I groaned loudly and dramatically flopped my head onto the table, which got an equally loud laugh out of him.
"Mom," he giggled, poking my head with his pencil. "You should go to bed, you look tired."
"I'm tired of these problems!"
"They're supposed to be fun, mom. That's why people do them."
"Well."
I ruffled his hair and helped him put away the pencils while Theo sat on the counter drinking milk and eating entirely too many cookies for his age.
"Darling," I sighed, cupping his face in my hands. "What am I going to do with you?"
He grinned. "Let me eat more cookies?"
I was about to respond when Stella came tearing through the kitchen completely naked and covered in bubbles, her hair soaking wet and sticking up in every direction as she squealed.
"What the-" Jude started as I watched Ernie run after Stella, his nose also covered in the same suds.
But the most shocking plot twist came when Harry skidded around the corner after them, except he was even wetter and didn't have the balance Stella did so he flew past the doorframe and crashed into the wall with a very loud crash.
"Oh my god," I half-laughed, my hand covering my mouth as Jude ran over to the heap of inked arms and legs. "Harry, are you okay?"
"Do I look okay?" He groaned, pushing himself up from the sud covered floor. "Dammit, I think I threw out a disk."
"Daddy," Stella whimpered as she came into the room, her lower lip trembling and her eyes wide with pain. "I-I got a booboo, daddy."
"Oh, puppy," he gushed as he crouched down and carefully inspected her outstretched hand. "It's okay, baby. Daddy will kiss it and make it better, how's that?"
She smiled and he chuckled as he showered her arm with kisses, which eventually turned into little bites and more laughing from both of them.
"Come on boys," I sighed, shaking my head at the cackling pair on the floor. "Time for bed, let's leave the crazies alone."
"Mommy," Theo mumbled sleepily as I picked him up and balanced him on my hip. "I'm not sleepy, I swear."
"Really, darling?"
"I wanna stay up with Jude, mommy," he pleaded softly, his eyes drooping with sleep. "I'm not tired at all."
"Jude is going to bed too," I assured him as he reluctantly surrendered and nestled down under the sheets. "Goodnight, darling. I love you."
"Love you too, momma."
I gave him a few kisses and after making sure Jude was really going to sleep and not texting, I grabbed a rag and trudged down the stairs to clean up the bubbly mess in the kitchen and hallway.
"Don't worry about that," Harry frowned slightly when he saw me on my hands and knees on the kitchen floor. "Baby, I'm serious. Let me get it."
"It's fine," I answered a little harshly. "You're with Stella anyway."
I felt his eyes on my back and I knew he heard my underlying anger but it felt like about time. I was getting sick of always cleaning up their messes while they played and laughed together, making even more messes right in front of my eyes before I finished cleaning the other one. Maybe jealously was a part of it too. It was a little annoying to buy new lingerie, curl my hair, and wear my expensive perfume only to find that Stella had a bad dream and was sleeping on my side of the bed.
Not that I would dream of saying anything to Harry. That girl was his entire existence and it was unfair of me to be jealous. As far as I was concerned, I lost my fuckbuddy and Stella gained an amazing father. She deserved him, too.
"Go to bed and let me handle it," Harry repeated, his face now level with mine as he kneeled down in front of me. "You need rest, you look tired."
Not exactly what I wanted to hear when I had gained ten pounds seemingly overnight and my feet were too swollen to wear anything but flats.
"You're an asshole," I seethed, throwing the rag at him before storming out of the kitchen and up to our room.
I hastily pulled on my pajamas and was very aggressively brushing my teeth when Stella plodded in, now dressed in a fresh set of nighties and some cute pink socks.
"I'm sorry," she mumbled as her little arms wrapped around my legs. "I didn't mean to make a mess, mommy."
"Sweetheart," I smiled warmly down at her. "You didn't make me angry one bit, okay? I'm just really tired and my belly is very achy tonight."
"Is little brother kicking again?"
I laughed. "Who said it's a boy?"
"Daddy. He said he has a feeling."
"Did he now?"
She nodded and I assured her again that she didn't do anything wrong, then sent her off to bed and gave her a few kisses for the road. Once the house fell silent again, Harry was the next to appear in the bedroom.
He just leaned silently in the doorway and looked at me, his facial expression somewhere between hurt and confused.
"I don't want to talk about it," I shook my head before he could say anything. "Not tonight. I have work tomorrow morning and I'm exhausted."
"You're jealous of the attention I give her, right?"
I peered across the room at him and scowled as I let my hair down from its ponytail. "No, of course I'm not-"
"Don't lie to me."
"Okay fine," I finally let out in a frustrated tone. "Yes, it's a little annoying when we haven't had sex in so long because she keeps having 'nightmares'."
He raised his eyebrows and grinned at me, which only made me more frustrated. "You think she lies about having nightmares?"
"I think she lies so she can sleep with us."
"Why is that a bad thing?"
"It's not to an extent," I attempted to explain calmly. "I just feel like we never cuddle anymore."
"I didn't know you valued cuddling so much."
"You're a prick, you know that?"
"Whatever," he rolled his eyes. "You're hormonal. I'll sleep in the guest room."
"Make sure to get Stella," I muttered under my breath as he walked away. I didn't know why Harry and I were fighting so much lately but all of the sudden it seemed like we couldn't agree on anything, not even a restaurant for date night.
So I fell asleep alone again, lulled into a false sense of security by the sheets on Harry's side of the bed that still smelled so strongly of him.
__________________
*Harry's POV*
I didn't know what to do. Norah felt left out all the time and I wanted so badly to include her but I didn't know how. When she wasn't working, she was typing papers or helping the older kids with their homework so Stella would ask me to play, and I would say yes.
But I still felt bad about letting her go to sleep angry. So I waited awhile and snuck back into our bed, then wrapped my arms around her little body and nestled her into my side. I was supposed to protect her from things that could hurt her but lately, the only thing doing that was me. How was I supposed to protect her from myself?
I must have passed out right away because when I was jostled awake, the clock read 3:45.
"H-Harry," Norah's voice quivered as my eyes adjusted to the darkness. "Something's wrong, Harry, something's happened."
"W-What? What are you talking about?"
"I- there's blood on the sheets, Harry."
With small shaking hands she peeled back the covers and she was right, there was some blood on the sheets right between her legs.
"Shit," I cursed as I jumped up and pulled on some old sweatpants and a T-shirt. "Come on, I'm taking you to the hospital."
"What about the kids?"
"I'll call my parents," I answered hurriedly as I handed her a pair of shorts and began dialing their number. "Don't worry about it, okay? Right now I'm focused on you."
We were finally able to get in the car and the whole way to the hospital, my hands never stopped shaking. Norah was just looking out the window silently and I wanted so badly to say something but no words came to mind. So I stayed quiet too and the highway flew by wordlessly.
"How can we help you?" The nurse at the desk smiled tiredly.
"I-I'm pregnant," Norah said softly. "And I woke up with blood on my sheets and I feel like something is wrong. Is there a doctor here?"
"Of course honey," she answered kindly. "Go sit down and I'll get you checked in."
We thanked her and sat down in the uncomfortable waiting chairs, most of which were empty at this hour. There was some depressing news channel on the little TV and Norah wasn't saying a single word to me, not even when I put a hand on her slender thigh.
"I missed some vitamins," she said emotionlessly, her eyes focused on the wall opposite us. "Maybe that's what it is."
"Baby," I said sympathetically. "Don't worry about it, okay? I'm sure everything is fine."
She didn't reply and it was another ten minutes of heavy silence before we were called into a small exam room.
Just my luck that the doctor was some young prick who looked like he was just out of medical school. Fantastic.
"Any other symptoms?" He asked after she told him what happened. "Dizziness? Lack of appetite? Discomfort during sex?"
"I haven't really been having any sex lately," she replied easily. "I just don't have the drive anymore."
Well you can probably guess how that little remark made me feel, seeing as I was obviously her husband and the one that was supposed to be satisfying her.
"Low sex drive is normal during this stage of pregnancy," the doctor chuckled. "Nothing to be embarrassed about."
She actually smiled for the first time all night and even though it was because of my discomfort, I was just happy to see it.
"Let's just get an ultrasound set up and we'll have a look around," he said cheerily as he got the familiar gel out and squirted some on Norah's perfectly round tummy.
After getting the machine running, he began some light chatting about our other kids and how they were doing and how brave Norah was for giving birth to Stella without any pain medication.
"Let's see," he frowned slightly as he peered closer at the screen. "I'm having just a little trouble finding a heartbeat..."
My own heart felt like it was thudding with a knife right in the middle, and my eyes tore away from the dark screen to look at Norah.
She still had a perfectly straight face but I noticed that there was a steady stream of tears spilling from her eyes, which felt like a swift kick right to my gut. I just wanted to hold her.
*Norah's POV*
I knew there wasn't going to be a heartbeat. I could just feel it right down in the deepest part of me, there was no life inside me. Not anymore.
"Mrs. Styles," the nice doctor said softly as his hand fell onto mine. "I'm so sorry..."
I let out a strangled sob and immediately Harry's arms were wrapped around me, and I was hugging him tighter than I ever had before. I was just sobbing into his shirt while the doctor tried to explain things to Harry but neither of us were really paying any attention to him.
So finally he gave us a small pamphlet and the number of a therapist and left us alone.
"Norah," Harry hushed me gently as his arms stayed tightly wound around my shaking body. "I'm so sorry, baby."
"I think I knew," I mumbled thickly as I used his shirt to wipe away my tears. "I hadn't felt anything move in weeks."
"I'm sorry," he repeated with a soft kiss to my temple. "Tell me what you need and I'll get it for you."
"I just want to go home and sleep," I answered weakly. "Will you take off work tomorrow and stay home with me?"
"I have a meeting at ten, darling," he frowned apologetically. "But I can take off the rest of the day if you want."
"That's alright, I should go in anyway," I sniffled, taking his hand as he helped me off the table and opened the door for me. "It will help me take my mind off things."
"No, baby, stay home," he protested with furrowed brows. "You need rest. I can take the kids to school and they can stay with my parents this weekend, okay? We can go up to the cabin if you want."
"Okay," I sighed as the chilly air billowed around us and Harry's hand squeezed mine. "Wait," I called softly as he broke away from me and started to open my door. "Can- can you hold me for a second?"
"Yeah baby, of course," he answered solemnly. His face looked like it had aged ten years in the past hour, but I was sure mine looked about the same.
His arms caged around me again and I pressed my cheek to his chest, my hands resting on the base of his spine as he rubbed my back soothingly. I could feel his heart beating solidly and somehow it made me feel a little bit better. It reminded me that he was still here; that I had lost a baby but I hadn't lost my best friend.
Suddenly his phone buzzed and I groaned at the intrusion, which made him chuckle.
He answered it reluctantly. "Hello?"
As soon as I heard the sweet little voice on the phone I knew who it was, and I knew that this was what Harry needed to cheer him up right now.
"Hey, puppy!" Harry greeted as enthusiastically as he could manage. "Why aren't you asleep, baby girl?"
It was quiet for a minute and I realized that my eyes were closing under Harry's warm protective hold.
"Okay, sweet girl," he laughed lightly after some small talk. "Have a good day at school, Stel. Daddy loves you."
He hung up after that and when I finally did fall asleep in his arms, he gently laid me in the backseat of the Range Rover and climbed in next to me, his body shielding me from the chilly morning air and the first rays of sunshine.