"Hyunsuk really going to reject people who confessed to him saying that he already in a relationship when we all know that it's not even the case huh?" I froze as I heard that statement. I couldn't move my hand to bring the chopsticks to my mouth. Choi Hyunsuk? Rejecting confessions because he's in a relationship? Isn't the relationship in question is their fake relationship? The relationship between him and Hyunsuk, purely just to fool Chaewon and Hyunjin so they will stop worrying about him and date each other in ease. Is it that relationship he's talking about? But it's fake, and supposed to be 'secret' isn't it?
"As if people will believe him. Hyunsuk never actually hide any relationship he had. And who the hell want to hide the fact that they're dating Choi Hyunsuk? No one right? People will definitely flex it. Like, he's a really cool guy here tho," the other student continues. Yes. He know it since day one that Hyunsuk is cool and popular. Jihoon used to hear talks about Hyunsuk before. And why now he feel like he need to care about it? Because they're in a relationship? Or because they're trying to make each other to fall for the other? Jihoon didn't know.
"Jihoon-ah. Don't you feel tired holding your chopsticks like that?" I look up to Chaewon who's sitting across me. I put my chopsticks back down on my plate. Why am I spacing out just now? "Your boyfriend is really famous, Jihoon-ah. He used to be one of the players who keep changing partners almost every month ever since middle school. There's no wonder if you actually worried about him. But hearing him rejecting confessions because he's in a relationship, somehow make me happy. He really treasure his relationship with you, huh?"
"He never even cheat whenever he dated anyone. It's just his life motto or something," I said. Ah. Somehow I don't feel like to eat anymore. It has been like half year since we decided to try make each other to fall for the other. And it doesn't even look like he's going to fall for me at all. While me? He did make my heart flutters once a while. As expected from an ex-player who has many experience with relationships. Unlike me who only look at Chaewon for years and didn't even dare to make any move at all.
Talking about Chaewon. I feel like it's vanished already. My feeling toward Chaewon. Probably because I spent lesser time with Chaewon as I tried my best to let her go with Hyunjin alone instead together with me, three of us. Also probably because I have been spending more time with Hyunsuk whenever I have my free time, and with Junkyu too from time to time.
Spending time with Hyunsuk now, make me feel that I've been missing a lot for not trying to be friend with him earlier than this. He's a fun guy to be around with. He always tried to enjoy the things I like even though it's not his cup of tea. Just like that make me want to try to enjoy the things he like as well. Something bothering me right now. Not because Hyunsuk getting a lot of confessions. But because I couldn't really see Hyunsuk for days already. He's too busy with his volleyball team's activities and the upcoming tournaments. I tried my best not to bother him. But somehow it feels weird not to hang out with him or to talk to him.
We're still not showing that we're close at school. That's why we have a very limited time to have an actual conversation together. Hyunsuk also has been spending more time with his volleyball teams after school and his free times. I couldn't even meet him during weekends because of his busy schedule. When I texted him, it took him a really long time to get him to reply me. Which is understandable because he's really busy as he's the captain of the volleyball team. And when there's times I called him, he'll ended up fall asleep while me talking. It make me feel bad. I don't want to bother him too much.
"Yah. Don't mention him now. He haven't meet his boyfriend for almost a week because of the volleyball thingy," Hyunjin said.
"Why don't you guys start to act closer at school? You'll have more time to spend with each other that way," Chaewon said.
"It will make people suspicious with us when we suddenly get close," I said.
"Who care? You like him, right? Just go for it. Don't think about what people think," Chaewon said.
"But what about him?" I asked. Yes. What about what Hyunsuk think? He has always been dating girls. But now, he's being a very loyal 'boyfriend' to me. It somehow make me feel bad. Should I just stop this whole fake relationship thingy? When thinking back about it, it's always be who he put the priority first between us. I never actually think about what he's thinking or how he's feeling about anything we did.
°°°
"Are you seriously in a relationship?" I stopped as I heard that. It's a very familiar voice. Shin Ryujin; one of the most famous kids in our school. She's labeled as the 'girl crush' with how he acted and dressed up. I stretched my neck to peek in. Want to see who's the famous Ryujin is talking to. Ah.. It's Hyunsuk. "I didn't even see you with anyone that you can be called as a lover or something for these past few months. And you have been telling people that you're in a relationship? How are you think people will trust you?"
"Didn't go public doesn't mean it's not real, right?" Hyunsuk asked. "I'm keeping it just between me and my lover and our close friends because I want to I don't want my lover to feel burdened by our relationship. I don't need to always announced it in public on who I am dating at times right?"
"But, you've been busy this whole week and past few weeks also. And you still saying that you're still in a relationship?" Ryujin asked. Ryujin is also one of the volleyball team's manager. That's why she know about Hyunsuk's schedule.
"I did feel bad about my lover. We have even less time to spend together. I even fell asleep during phone call. I couldn't even apologize yet," Hyunsuk said.
"And what make you still cling on your current lover?" Ryujin asked.
"Because my current lover haven't asked for break up yet," Hyunsuk said. "My previous partners always be the one who asked for a break up after few weeks together. People around me said that I'm too cruel or I didn't think about their feeling or that I'm only playing with their feeling. I was trying to get to know them better and suddenly we broke up. If they feel like they couldn't do the relationship they had with me, then we should end it. I just don't want to force them to be with me or anything. I want to respect their choice,"
"What about your current lover?" Ryujin asked. "How're you feeling toward your current lover? If your current lover suddenly asked for a break up, are you going to be fine with it?"
Hyunsuk didn't answer it right away. He looked like he's closing his eyes and sighed.
"Yeah. It's up to them. To continue or to stop it," Hyunsuk said.
"Have you ever think about yourself? About what you think or feel? Why are you keep put other people first? I just don't get you," Ryujin said.
"I don't get myself either. Why am I putting other people first before me," Hyunsuk said.
"Ryujin-ah. The teacher is calling you," someone called Ryujin.
"I'll go to take a break first? I'll be back in 10 minutes," Hyunsuk said.
"Okay. If anything, just call me," Ryujin said before she left first. I saw Hyunsuk walking toward where I've been standing to eavesdrops them. Hyunsuk look like he's walking mindlessly passing me. I quietly followed him. Hyunsuk keep walking toward the back of the school's building and sat on the bench there. He stared at his front and sighed a few times. He looked like he's really tired.
"It's really tiring," finally I heard his voice instead of his countless sighs.
I noticed Hyunsuk used to always look strong. Well, he probably only pretend to be strong, to give more strength to his fellow teammates. Unlike me keep on whining whenever it's tiring or practice getting harder than it usually is. I decided to approached him.
"Hey, boyfriend," I said.
Hyunsuk looked quite surprised. He stood up and put on his usual cool expression with a hint of shocked expression as he face me.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"Stalking my boyfriend," I answered playfully.
"And why is that?" he asked me again.
"Because I haven't seen my boyfriend for days," I said. He probably thought that I'm roleplaying or something.
"Sorry. It's just being hectic these few days," Hyunsuk said. I just stared at his face. He's trying his best not to look like he's tired. He tried so hard to look strong and can keep on going. "What? Is there anything on my face?"
I didn't say anything. I grabbed him and pull him toward my chest. Hugging him while caressing his head.
"Um.. Jihoon?" he asked while still being stiff in my arms.
"It's okay to show that you're tired, Hyunsuk-ah. It has been hard for you, huh? For past few days? You've done great," I said.
"Why are you doing this?" Hyunsuk asked, his voice almost cracking.
"Comforting my boyfriend," I said. "It's always me who keep on leaning on you. I just want you to know that you can also lean on me. It's okay to lean on me as well. We're friends, right? Ah! If you don't usually show your vulnerable state to your friend, then, I'm your lover that you can always lean on, will always support you and comfort you. Even it's just a pretend, just think of me as a person that you can always come to whenever,"
Ah.. Did I overdo this? Hyunsuk must've be uncomfortable with what I just did. Before I could let him go, I can fee Hyunsuk's hand gently cling on my shirt
"Can I hug you?" Hyunsuk asked. Why the hell he's asking that?! Why he's acting so cute like this?! I still trying my best not to wheeze at his cuteness by nibbling my lips.
"Sure. Anytime," I said. Hyunsuk's arms slowly wrapped around my waist. "You're tired?"
"Hm," Hyunsuk hummed. Even though I can't see his expression, the way he acted is just too cute considering how he always present himself to other people.
"You did well. You've worked so hard. Whatever the outcome is, I will still cheer for you. Because I know how hard you've worked on it all these time," I said.
"Can you watch our match?" Hyunsuk lift his head to look at me. I couldn't help but to froze a bit at his sudden cute act. As if he didn't act cutely for the past few minutes. "You can't, don't you. You're from basketball team,"
"Who said I won't? I'll gladly come to watch you playing," I said before patting his head. "Thank you for inviting me, Choi Hyunsuk,"