𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐲-𝐨𝐧𝐞
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WITH A GORGEOUS VIEW TO THE TURKISH paradise in front of our hotel balcony, Alex and I had breakfast through giggles and a very immature game of footsie under the table.
The glass was intact. No cracks. But a deliberating sigh from Alex was all that took for me to notice that the mood had changed.
His hand began trembling slightly around the silver fork he held, the same way that it did whenever he was nervous before an interview or an event.
"Alex?" I called out, lifting my eyes to his. He blinked twice before I was made aware that words were waiting to spill from his mouth. Unknown words.
"We should keep acting like we hate each other" He said so bluntly I almost choked on my coffee.
I knit my eyebrows together and scrunched my face in confusion before deciding on an answer.
"But we don't hate each other" I said in a inquisitive tone, my eyebrows rising.
"No we don't, but we should act like we do in front of our friends"
"Why?" I bit my lip afterwards, chewing on the skin nervous to his answer.
"Because, Elaine-" He began but something appeared to be holding him back. This, and his tone worried me more than they should have.
"Look, there's a handful of reasons why and dangerous factors that I'm trying to pull yeh away from. Most importantly because I don't want any of them to spoil something that we haven't even had the chance to enjoy"
"Think of this as a way to not ruin what I want us to have. There's so many people that love to plot against us and I don't want to be tormented by having to carry the weight of another shattered relationship because of the media, which by the way has no business meddling in my private life"
"I want yeh, I really do, that's why I'm keeping yeh away from any force in this world of ours that can potentially damage what we have and what I hope we will have in the future"
The word future in that context coming from Alex's mouth, directed to me. It was unbelievable. Hearing that from him was something I believed I'd never hear, especially with that unreadable expression he'd put on.
"Just please pretend that nothing changed. Miles knows because... well he's Miles. But in front of everyone else, everything we use to feel was left untouched, yeh?"
I nodded, the realization still coming down on me. He still didn't look pleased with my response. He wanted more and I could feel the greed vibrating in the air.
"Please do it for me, El" His hands reached out across the table as they interlaced with mine. The warmth of his long fingers was more than enough for me to feel my five senses again.
"I will, don't worry" I shook my head and finally looked up to meet his dazzling, expecting eyes. I couldn't hide a grin and he appeared to be following me down the same road. What a gorgeous idiot, I thought. Heaven was on earth now.
"Grab yer things, gorgeous. We've to leave" Alex softly caressed my hands before tapping them as a sign to get up.
We went back inside and I grabbed my luggage. Alex walked to me with his suitcase and immediately took mine from me.
"Jesus Alex, I think I can manage"
"No, I can't let yeh go around with something this heavy" He shook his head in disapproval before opening the door for me.
"Why are you so sweet to me all of a sudden hmm?" I stopped at the doorway and stepped closer to his face, drowning the urge to pull him in and kiss every inch of his face. "I thought you hated me"
"No. I didn't hate yeh as a person. I just hated how much I wanted yeh. Yeh we're just so alluring from the moment I first laid eyes on yeh"
"With yer tight dresses and short skirts with those fishnets that make yer legs look out of this world. Yeh should thank the universe that I didn't lose all control right then and there, in all those occasions I felt like the urge would be hard to resist"
"So I was a drug to you?" That was the first thing that came to mind. The way he described me sounded like he was talking about a brand of heroine.
"Love, not even a drug is this addicting" He whispered in the most magnetic tone I'd ever been blessed enough to hear.
Our breathings collided for a second. Nothing was holding us back and the gap between us began closing.
"Alex, man, talk about being fashionably late" A familiar voice called out and suddenly Alex was several inches away from me.
Matt came into view. He was carrying a foam cup that most likely contained either that bourbon they liked or coffee. I wasn't sure how their drinking schedule functioned.
"Pardon me I couldn't find my phone, but I don't know if she has a valid excuse" Alex responded and the fastness that he formulated his lies with made my eyebrows rise.
It took me a minute to remember how to properly hate Alex. He'd become a product of all the fantasies I'd ever had and despising that angelic face after freeing my emotions would most likely break me in half.
His eyes lowered to my face and inspected me as I took an attempt at thinking of literally anything to say. But the task seemed to be utterly impossible.
I could only stare and think about how flawless Alex looked. As if he were rooted deeply in my subconscious.
"Fuck you" I said in an overly aggressive manner. He moistened his lips, chuckled, and looked down at the floor.
His mocking actions made me feel like a fool. However, his irises contained something else. A reciprocal feeling that neither Matt or anyone in this world could ever understand. And suddenly I was his fool.
Matt simply snickered and walked away, expectant for us to trail behind him. As Alex grabbed both our suitcases, he inched closer to my ear.
"Lovely acting, darling" He flashed a seemingly bright smile. I flipped him off instantly and we both laughed it off discreetly.
He placed his hand on my lower back and directed me towards the elevator where Jamie and Nick talked excitedly about their show last night.
Behind the closed doors, Alex removed his hand from my back and kept as much distance as he needed to set the same appearance as before.
I joined in their conversation by dropping compliments on their performance last night. It was difficult not to obsess over the fact that Alex had finally broken down his walls of righteousness.
The doors open and we scattered out quickly. I took a glance at Alex who was staring down at his phone like it was an alien object, forehead wrinkled in confusion.
I giggled to myself and followed the guys. Thankfully, this time Matt took care of the checkout. I wasn't sure I could stand another session of envious looks or a couple of 'oh my god you're Alex Turner's girlfriend'.
I tapped my foot impatiently against the stone floor as the checkout elongated itself more than it should have. I clenched my fists and swiped my tongue across my lips for what seemed like the thousandth time.
Huh. What a weird attitude of mine.
Time felt like borrowed time when I realized finally what this inevitable force was. My eyes darted across the floor.
I needed to touch Alex.
But the question was why? Why would I need to stretch my arms to wrap them around his waist? To rest my head on his shoulder momentarily and hear his heartbeat. To simply take the image of him in.
It seemed almost unfair that he looked so... unbothered while for me the seconds without him couldn't go by any slower. And then they got slower somehow.
His jawline tightened just enough for me to feel completely hypnotized. I tuned the world out and placed him as a prime image in my vision.
Everything expect him was blurred out for a while until a hand touched my shoulder and subsequently pulled me out of the intensity of the moment that I created myself.
"Seems like someone wants to stay here for a longer time huh" Nick teased and I felt my cheeks flush.
"Sorry" I apologized and followed behind them. A man in an expensive suit and two others were waiting for us ahead. They took our luggage and placed them in the trunk of a black van parked in front of the hotel.
As Matt peeked his head in and was ready to get inside the vehicle, he was made aware of my presence beside him and moved aside with a warm smile, allowing me to go in first.
I sat down and fidgeted with the hem of my skirt anxiously for no apparent reason. The van's doors finally closed and the engine came to life.