"That is not good," Jake commented unnecessarily. I leaned against his shoulder so he didn't see me smiling at his observation.
"Hold on, I'm going to put you guys on speaker, too, so that Dan can talk as well. Right. Iris remembered me, and at first, she was very calm and pleasant while she invited us inside. When I told her I was there to speak to her about her daughter again, she was confused and wanted to know if I had heard that Jennifer's quote 'murderers had been caught,' unquote. I explained to her that we heard two people confess to being involved, but it, sounded like an accident not murder. She told me she was certain that they were lying and there was more to the story."
"Did she offer any sort of proof?" Jake queried.
"No, she didn't. And I asked her, but she said something like 'God will reveal all in time.'"
"Oh, please," I snapped. "God can't reveal anything because there's no truth to it. Neither Hannah nor Richy murdered Jennifer." Jake kissed my cheek, trying to calm me. I had a particular pet peeve with people using religion as a veil for their ignorance.
"Yeah, I know," Jessy soothed. "I tried a couple of different ways to get her to tell me more, but that well had run dry. At that point, I switched tactics and asked her if she knew Phil."
"And that went over like a lead balloon," Dan volunteered. "That woman's eyes looked like they would pop out of her head with fear."
Jake and I looked at each other; this was getting interesting.
"Dan," Jessy chided. "I asked her if she knew that Phil and Michael had kept in touch all these years, and she started getting evasive. She said no but I don't think I believed her. Then I told her that losing Michael must have been very hard on her, and that she had my sympathy. She looked nervous and wanted to know why I was saying all these other things if I only came to talk about Jennifer."
"Here's where the bomb gets dropped," Dan narrated. I looked at Jake and shook my head.
"I explained to her that Phil is my brother, and she was irate. She called me a deceiver and screamed that I was doing the devil's work. That since Phil was Satan's child, that I must be also. Then she started throwing things at us while repeating Bible verses and then tried to splash us with some water--"
"--she was trying to exorcise us," Dan howled at the memory. Jake actually grinned and chuckled in front of my disbelieving eyes. He had said, what seemed like ages ago, that I was the only one who could make him laugh. I had treasured that remark from him; it had made me feel special, and as if our relationship was special. It was a happy sacrifice for it to not be true any longer.
"--and that was the end of our talk," Jessy finished, giggling.
I smiled and looked at Jake. "Does this information help us at all?"
"Her irrational behavior does not exclude her as a suspect. Despite his delusions, Phil was perfectly capable of committing many crimes."
"True. Well, if Jessy was reading her right, It sounds like one thing we now know is that Iris and Michael were still in contact up until his death," I concluded.
Jake nodded. "Quite likely. It is also possible that Michael and Phil included Iris in some of their plans, and she intends to carry on with them."
"But would she really go along with something that Phil cooked up? She seemed to both hate him and be afraid of him," Jessy wondered.
"Perhaps she was not aware that Phil and Michael created a plan together. Or she was just acting and really has no problem with Phil whatsoever."
"Jessy, Dan, thank you for doing this," I told them. "I think this was valuable information, and we're going to see later how this fits into the bigger puzzle."
We said goodbye and hung up. Jake looked pensive. "As you said long ago, the puzzle has gotten too big to see all at once."
"And still growing. Well, I need to get to sleep. I've got to get to Grove Springs early."
"I am coming with you," Jake asserted.
"To bed? Or to Grove Springs?"
"Both."
I looked at him warily. "You want to visit Richy with me?"
"We are under threat again. I am not allowing you to go anywhere alone until this is resolved."
"But, they won't let you sit in the parking lot," I told him. "It's a security risk."
"Then I suppose I will have to come in with you. I am an approved visitor, after all."
"Jake," I sighed. "I only told Richy a week ago that there was absolutely no chance for him and me. I don't think it's fair to rub it in his face."
"Why did you have to tell him that?" Jake said. "He knew it already."
I nodded. "He did. But then when you and I were apart, he got his hopes up again. I'm sorry. I'm so used to telling him everything, and it should have occurred to me that he'd think that way. Please don't be mad at him," I begged.
"I am not mad at either of you," Jake looked down. "The problem lies with me. I caused confusion, and I did it in a purposeful manner. Therefore I must take the blame for the consequences."
"Jake, nobody needs to be assigned blame here. All of us are fine, and we're moving past it. I just think that Richy might need some extra space from you until he gets used to it again, that's all."
"I understand and am sympathetic to his situation. However, when Richy hears my concerns, I am certain that he will not have wanted you to travel unaccompanied, either."
"I guess you're right."
"It is settled, then. Let's go to sleep."
The next morning I woke up earlier than I needed to. I was nervous about bringing Jake. I understood his reasoning and even agreed with it, but I didn't want to hurt Richy more than I already had. Especially so soon after that brutal parole hearing.
"It will be alright, Li. I will talk to Richy, and he will understand. He cares about you and wants you protected." Jake put his arms around me, giving me comfort.
"I hope you're right," I told him.
When we arrived at the parking lot, I looked at Jake. "You remember what you can bring?" he nodded and we left everything but the basics in the car. Jake was quiet through the check-in process, his eyes roaming around the room as if he anticipated threats. He kept me close to his side, underneath his arm when we sat in the waiting area. "I think we're safe in here," I whispered to him. "Everyone gets checked for weapons."
"Nonetheless, I will not take any chances."
When we were called to the visiting area, my abdomen clenched with nerves. Richy looked tired when I saw him. I was also concerned that he was losing weight. His smile faded a bit when he noticed I wasn't alone. "H-hey, Jake," he said. I still required my hug from him, and then he shook Jake's hand.
"I apologize for the intrusion on your visit with Li," Jake said. "However, until we are certain that there are no threats against her, I feel uneasy allowing her to move about unescorted."
"Of course. If it's that serious, then you should absolutely be with her," Richy replied, nodding.
"Why don't you fill Richy in while I get him some food?" I requested. Richy smiled in thanks and I left the two alone. When I came back, they were deep in discussion. I placed a mediocre feast in front of Richy and gestured for him to eat. He dug in appreciatively.
"Richy, are you alright?" I asked.
"There's just a lot of uncertainty right now. I haven't heard back from the parole board, but I've been classified now. I don't know where I'm going or when, but I was told that I fall into the lowest security risk category and that my request for protective custody is approved. However, I'll be placed in a sort of group protective custody with other inmates who need the same protection. It's segregated from the general population, but I won't be isolated completely."
I looked between Richy and Jake. "Is this a good thing? Because it seems like neither getting transferred or this type of protective custody is exactly what we're aiming for."
"It is good, Li. A minimum security facility means that he will only be housed with inmates that are low-risk such as him. The likelihood of him encountering someone dangerous is minimal," Jake explained.
"OK, and when do we find out where you're going?"
"They don't tell prisoners that," Richy clarified. "I won't know until they come and get me to transfer me that it's time to leave, and I won't know where I'm going until I get there. They said they have to wait for a bed to be available, which is laughable because I don't really have a bed now."
"What? What do you mean, you don't have a bed?" I clenched my fist under the table in outrage.
"I have a mattress on the floor. Cells are supposed to have two inmates each, but here, there are six people per cell. As one of the newer guys, I get the floor. However, I've been assured that having a bed frame under the mattress doesn't make it any more comfortable."
"This is not OK. You're human beings, not storage boxes. They can't just keep stacking you up like this!"
Richy reached out and grabbed my hand, something that I'd been recently notified was allowed now. "I can handle some discomfort. It'll be OK."
"Will it at least be any better wherever they transfer you?"
"Probably not. From what other inmates have told me, the facilities beyond the reception center are just as bad, if not worse." All of the food was gone now, and I was worried by how quickly he'd plowed through it.
"Are they feeding you at all?" I asked incredulously.
Richy sighed. "It isn't like in the movies, where you get an hour break in a cafeteria three times a day. Since this is a mixed population, we're confined to our cells most of the time and get maybe five minutes to sit down and eat, once per day. The rest of the time we try to eat food from our canteen budgets."
I looked at him in shock and anger. "Richy, I'm so sorry."
He held my hand tighter. "Please don't cry, Li or I might lose it, too. I thought I knew what I was signing up for, but it's harder than I imagined sometimes."
I bit back my tears. "But you're stronger than you imagined, too. If you can deal with a year of taking care of me, then you can get through this with no problem."
Richy smiled, and told me, "You know taking care of you was a cakewalk." Then he turned to Jake. "So, it sounds like you want access to the clubhouse. Have you filled out your application yet?" Jake looked at him with confusion, and then at me for clarification. I snickered.
"I do not understand."
"It's a very exclusive club," I explained. "Only those of us who are under threat are allowed to have a membership."
"And you jest about being threatened?"
"Yep," I responded. "That's what we do."
"I'm not certain I care for that. This is not a laughing matter," Jake said, his brow furrowed.
This only caused me to burst out laughing as did Richy. "You can be in Jessy's club, then," I told him, and Richy laughed harder. Jake gave us a bewildered look and shook his head, but finally smiled at seeing us both more relaxed.
Back in the car, Jake was quiet. "Are you OK?"
"You and Richy have a rapport that you and I do not," he said softly. "I am glad for you, and also for him. But it makes me sad because we don't have something similar."
"Jake, Richy and I share a taste for morbid humor. It's what we do to diffuse tension. We also have a four-plus-year history of knowing each other in some form or another. But I disagree with you that we don't have a rapport. It may be different from what I have with Richy, but it's still there."
"If you say so," he responded morosely.
I sighed. "Who else is going to understand these references?" I started listing off several. "I'll tell you when the time is right. I think I would have been better prepared if it was the Man Without a Face. I've heard of fun, anyway." Jake smiled, knowing each phrase and its meaning. "And that's only a small piece of the puzzle. We have all these memories, as well, that are just between us." I lifted up my wrist to show him my charm bracelet. "Not to mention all the other moments we've had, both good and bad. They belong to us and our relationship and make us who we are together."
Jake held my hand up to his lips, kissing it gently. "Thank you for reminding me. I am trying, but I still go to a dark place sometimes, and it gives me tunnel vision."
"I know that you're trying. I can see it every day, especially at times like this when you share with me what you're feeling instead of sitting there and brooding silently. I appreciate that."
Back at home, Jake was fixing us some lunch when Cleo called. "Hey, you, how are things? Is everything good with the bakery?"
"I'm well, thank you. And I'm pleased with business at the bakery. I'm calling to pick your brain about something, though."
"Sure, fire away."
Cleo sighed. "Can you give me some insight about what it's like to have feelings for two people at the same time? I want to be patient and supportive of Thomas, but I really don't understand what he's going through."
I glanced over at Jake. He had his back to me, working in the kitchen. "I feel like for your perspective, you might get better results talking to Richy or Jake. But as the person with the feelings for more than one person, I can tell you that it was torture. I felt guilty, and just like a horrible person, because I had these two wonderful men who were willing to do anything for me and I felt like I could never do enough for them. I still do, sometimes. And then even though I was never actually involved with both of them at the same time, it still felt like I was cheating."
"But you weren't," Cleo responded. "I heard what Jessy said to you the other day, and I went out to tell that to Thomas while he talked to Jake, because I didn't think he knew, either. In fact," Cleo continued, "Jake didn't seem to know about it. I'm sorry if that caused a problem for you."
I looked at Jake again in surprise. "He hasn't mentioned it. But thank you for telling me; I'll talk to him and make sure he's OK. See, this is what I mean, though. It's very complicated and hurtful and I wouldn't recommend it. Also, I don't know what your hopes or expectations are, but I made Richy wait for things on the physical side a long time. Like, a really, really long time for people our age." I felt my face heat up a bit. "I couldn't control where my feelings wandered, but I could decide to limit physical intimacy until I made a choice."
"But, you guys were living together for so long, and you were always so close and affectionate."
"I know. What can I say, Richy is a saint."
"He is a really good guy, for sure. But he also just loves you. I mean, loved you. Or loves. Sorry, I don't know the right thing to say here."
I gave a short laugh. "Trust me, I understand that. Look, Cleo, I wish I had a straightforward answer for you. To be blunt, there isn't one, and your situation is both easier and more complicated because Hannah is no longer with us. Thomas isn't just mourning the ending of their relationship, but also, her death. Yet he also knows there's no chance for reconciliation this time, so that can also change his timeline."
"Right. Yet somehow, I think you still helped, so thank you."
"Really? Well, I'm glad. You're welcome."
"Oh, and I know how gossip is in this area, but if you could not.."
"Of course," I said quickly. "This stays completely between us. Hey, while I've got you, can I ask you something?"
"Definitely."
"When you went out to speak to Thomas, did you hear anything that he and Jake were saying to each other?"
"No, sorry. They stopped talking the moment I opened the door, and Thomas didn't say anything to me later, either."
"OK, just curious." I felt Jake's eyes on me; he motioned toward the food. "Was there anything else you wanted to talk about?"
"No, that was it. Thank you again, Li."
"Anytime, Cleo."
I sat down with Jake, thanking him for lunch. "That was Cleo. She told me, among other things, about your conversation outside with Thomas," I said, watching Jake's reaction.
"Oh?" he responded nonchalantly, taking a bit of his sandwich.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked him. "What she said, or what you said?"
He chewed slowly, and swallowed. "If you would like."
"Did it bother you? Hearing my reaction to your phone call, I mean."
He didn't meet my eyes. "It was merely a confirmation of what I suspected had occurred."
"That doesn't answer my question, though. I asked if it bothered you."
Jake sighed, putting his sandwich down. "Of course, it bothered me. It hurt a lot that we had been apart for several months, and you would not even receive my call. It also terrified me that your response meant that you had moved on, or decided you no longer had feelings for me. However, one of the many things I love about you is your fierce loyalty. I could not fault you for being loyal to Richy."
"Yes, I didn't accept your call out of loyalty to Richy. But also, out of fear. I was afraid that the moment I spoke to you again, or especially when I saw you, that all the half-truths I had convinced myself of while you were away would disintegrate into dust, and I'd have to confront how much I loved you, and that I'd been..." I couldn't even bring myself to say it.
Jake cupped my hands in his face. "I know that you still feel a lot of guilt over what happened. But you were not unfaithful to Richy, nor to me. Neither of us think that. Please tell me that you believe me."
"He doesn't think it, either?" I asked. "How do you know?"
"It came up that first night, when he and I spoke and worked out our differences. We both agreed that you were always honest with us both about where you stood."
I blew out a breath, feeling relieved. "Thank you for telling me."
"Of course. Is there anything else that is worrying you?"
I laughed. "A lot of things. But, and I know I keep asking, but will you tell me yet what you discussed with Thomas? Or any of my friends or family?"
He smirked at me. "When the time is right."
I rolled my eyes. "I just don't get why everyone except me gets to know what you talked about. I'm feeling a bit left out."
Jake smiled. "Our only topics were how much I love you and need you in my life."
"But that isn't a secret. You tell that to me all the time."
He kissed me. "Then you know everything important. The rest is just minor details. I promise, I will gather my thoughts and explain it all to you sometime soon. However, I would like to focus on our case first."
"And what if our case never ends?" I whined. "It seems to just keep going on forever."
"I assure you, I will not wait forever to tell you."
"Alright, then let's go back to discussing these dummies who want to kidnap Richy and me and kill you off," I muttered grumpily. Jake snorted, and brought his laptop to the table.
"These are the two usernames: 'altonfarmgirl' and 'hometownqt.' I have filtered their conversations as well, and I thought to see if the paths of all three--or four, rather, of our suspects intersected. And they did."
Jake showed me a short conversation between those two as well as 'ihatejake' and 'duskwoodmusicfan.' They all were talking about how to get Jake out of the picture and free Richy. Then, it abruptly stopped, like they'd all simultaneously lost interest in the middle of the conversation. "What do you think that's about?" I asked him.
"I am wondering if they moved their conversation to a more private forum."
"Hmm. Good thought. And of course there's no legal way to find out."
"No."
"Well, I promised I'd update the others about my visit to Richy anyway, so I guess we can tell them about this, too. Maybe they can help keep an eye of these profiles for us or something."
I went into the group chat, something I hadn't done in a long time. It made me sad to see Richy's name in there, knowing he was always the first to come online when I put in a message, and now he wouldn't be coming online anytime soon.
I briefly filled them in on what Richy had told us, and promised to keep them informed if we heard anything more.
Jessy: Everyone has made their own videos and posted them, saying how much we love Richy and support him, but also are so happy for you and Jake.
Jessy: Everybody except for one person, that is. ๐คจ
Thomas: I've been busy, and I had to think of what I wanted to say. But I promise it'll get uploaded tonight. Tomorrow, at the latest.
Jessy: ๐
Jake: It is alright. We also wanted to give you four usernames: 'ihatejake,' 'duskwoodmusicfan,' 'altonfarmgirl' and 'hometownqt' and ask if any of you are familiar with these accounts. Jessy and Dan have already answered previously.
Cleo: No.
Thomas: Me, neither.
Lilly: Not me. Are they the ones making threats?
Jake: In a roundabout way, yes. It is more of a discussion amongst themselves at this point.
Li: But they're using some very disturbing language, in my opinion.
Dan: Yo, I have an idea.
Li: Great! What did you have in mind?
Dan: Someone can infiltrate their group. And since Tommyboy is dragging his feet about bro'ing up with Jake, he makes the perfect candidate.
Thomas: What? Why me?
Li: It makes sense, actually. All your friends are supportive of these changes, but you're holding back. As Richy's best friend, it would be easy to conclude that you sided with him over Jake. All you have to do is really sell it in chatting with them. I bet they'd even appreciate having an inside man, thinking they could use you to spy for them.
Dan: Exactly my thoughts. ๐
Thomas: I don't know. This sounds risky.
Lilly: You want to talk about risky? How many times did Li put herself in harm's way to try to get Hannah back? You had no problem with her doing that, did you? But now you have a chance to step up and protect Li, and my brother, too, not to mention Richy, and you won't do it? Hannah would be ashamed of you right now!
Li: Lilly! ๐
Jessy: No, Li. Lilly is right. You've taken on so much risk. I'd do this myself, but I've already put my video up, and I'm sure they know that I work for you anyway.
Thomas: Fine, fine. What do you need me to do?
Dan: Attaboy. Put your man pants on.
I laughed so hard at that one, I was glad I wasn't in the room with Thomas or he would have probably rescinded his offer. Jake recovered faster than I did.
Jake: Thank you, Thomas. All you must do is start a conversation with any or all of them online the next time you see them speaking out against a relationship between Li and me.
Li: We can even help trigger that--I can post a picture of myself with Jake on IG.
Jake: Yes. Then, Thomas, simply agree with them. Be as vocal as you feel is appropriate, and explain that you are Richy's best friend and how you wish for Li and Richy to be back together.
I kissed Jake's cheek, feeling sad he had to say that. This was all sorts of messed up.
Thomas: And then what?
Jake: We suspect that they have taken their discussion out of the public eye. Hopefully, you will gain their trust enough to be included in their direct messages. If you learn anything of interest, please report back immediately.
Thomas: Will do.
Li: Thanks, Thomas. I'll take a pic with Jake right now and post it immediately. Good luck!
We logged off the chat, and I looked at Jake. "I just realized we've never taken a picture together." I grinned mischievously. "Let's make it good."
I put my phone on a selfie stick. I climbed onto Jake's lap, straddling him. Then I handed him the stick and showed him where the button was. Lastly, I twisted slightly, placing my hand against his cheek with him facing the camera. I placed my lips on his other cheek. "Go ahead," I murmured.
Jake took a picture of us in that pose, and then he turned to kiss me on the lips. I heard my phone click as he took more pictures.
I finally had to pull away. "This is about to turn into an x-rated movie," I said, fanning my face. "Let me pick one and get it posted."
I lost my breath for a moment when I looked at the first of the photos. Those stunning eyes looked back at me and through me, which was a confusing dichotomy since I was also in the picture, my lips pressed to his skin.
The arm not holding the selfie stick was wrapped around my back, his large hand resting on my hip. After that, he must have held down the button to cause a photo burst, because it was like a flipbook of him turning toward me until our mouths met, my head tilting. His hand moved up until it clasped the back of my neck possessively, holding me in place as he liked to do when he ravaged my mouth. It was beyond hot to see what it looked like from the outside.
"The rest of those are for our eyes only," Jake said, wrapping his arms around my waist. "And I would like you to send them all to me, please."
I cleared my throat. "Yes. Definitely private photos." I posted the first one with the caption: "A mere eyelid's distance between you and me. -Amy Uyematsu" The moment I tapped post, there was already a like from the username jake_duskwood. I looked back at him in surprise. "How did you do that so quickly? And without your phone in your hand?"
"I wrote a program that automatically likes each of your posts immediately. It is a way I thought of to show you my unconditional support."
"But, you won't look at the posts yourself?"
"I look at everything that you post. Especially the songs, even when I am sitting here watching you record them. But I also wanted to be the first to like each message." I categorized this as a genuinely Jake thing to do, and so loving in his unique way.
"That's very sweet. Thank you."
A few minutes later, I was sitting on the couch, reviewing lyrics, when I received a notification on my phone. Jake had posted to his profile, which was now public. He had deleted all of the evidence from the case from it, which meant he had no pictures or anything. I opened his post. He had chosen one of the other pictures of us, caught a moment where we were gazing into each other's eyes before our lips met. He captioned it, "An unexpected meeting led to the love of my life. Every day, I am thankful for this gift."
I quickly looked up at him to see him waiting for me to notice him. His face was open, vulnerable, and...something else. That look I'd seen on his face each time he'd been watching me from across the room. My heart pounded in my chest. "Jake," I whispered, standing up. I took barely a step in his direction before he was there, kissing me as if his life depended upon it. "I love you so much," I said breathlessly, clinging to his neck. "I've never felt like this before."
"Nor have I," he replied. "You are all I want and need in this world. Do you trust me again, Li?"
"Yes, Jake, I trust you."
I woke up in the middle of the night, my heart running like a racehorse. Something wasn't right. "Jake!" I gasped, trying to sit up. "Jake, wake up."
"Li? What's wrong?" He turned on a lamp, sitting and supporting my back with his hand. "Does your chest hurt?"
"No...but something's wrong."
"I'll call an ambulance," he said briskly, reaching for his phone.
"No! Not with me. Sorry, I'm a bit disoriented. But I'm fine. There's just, a problem with the story about Jennifer."
Jake reached over to my side of the bed and handed me my glass of water. "Drink this first. It will help you wake up, and then you can tell me."
I sipped at the water and tried to organize my brain, which was racing in circles. Then I turned to Jake. "I'm not sure that Hannah killed Jennifer."