today, i was quite surprised to have found the class fairly empty. i must've come early, it seems.
there were a few girls and boys in different parts of the room respectively, and they'd all greeted me before going back to chatting with their friends.
for the first time since she came to this school, i casted a glance at her, and she was still bowing her head and scribbling. i hardly think she lifted her head to see who had come through the door.
i took my seat in the center of the classroom and placed my backpack on the floor at the side of my desk, and i turned around to examine this girl and maybe get a glimpse of her face.
i spent a few two minutes doing so, but she never lifted her head or stopped scribbling. her only movement would be of her right hand moving vigorously as she drew, and flipping the pages of the notebook or erasing something she wrote.
i wanted to approach her, but i didn't know how.
one day, i'd asked if she had any friends around the class—of course, i didn't ask her directly. as i said, i didn't know how—but everyone gave me the same answer, i don't even know her name.
i now knew her as the nameless girl, and i basically didn't try to approach or talk to her. of course, i had my duties as class president and as a student, and i hung out with my friends quite a lot. given that she rarely moves from her seat, i forgot about her.
i wonder what her notebook contains.
sometimes at home or during quiet times, my thoughts travel to this girl. who is she, how does she live, how are her grades—a lot of questions fly around my mind about her, but they find no answer and they only increase every time i find myself thinking about her.
i'd asked our homeroom teacher if he knew her name, but due to his old age and weak memory, he even forgot that she exists. i could only remind him of her by addressing her as the quiet girl who never talks. because of that fact, he told me he doesn't remember her.
for a week or two, i searched around for this girl's name, hiding my true intentions behind the alibi that i'm class president, and i need to know every one of my classmates. it wasn't used much, though. i was never asked why i was seeking her name.
in the end, i could never find this girl's identity. i even searched through the files of every academic year that was kept in the principal's office, and it was undeniable that i found a lot of names, but inevitably i could never know which of these names belonged to her.
it was like she doesn't exist. all she does is scribble in that notebook of hers, and i don't even know how she looks like, for her unusually dark and thick hair covers her face completely. i think that's what she wants, for people not to know she exists. i want to, though.
that nameless girl, forgotten amidst the crowd.