Sam and Larissa walk into Bobby's living room, both carrying a stack of books.
"Where's Bobby?" Sam asks Dean who sits at the desk.
"In town, supply run." Dean informs.
"In this?" Sam asks, looking out the window at the terrible storm.
"Yeah, man's a hero. We were officially out of hunter's helper." Dean holds up an empty bottle of alcohol.
"Hello, boys, Larissa." The three turn to see Balthazar. "You've seen The Godfather, right?"
"Balthazar." Dean says.
"You know, the end, where Michael Corleone sends his men to kill his enemies in one big, bloody swoop?" The angel asks. He grabs a container of salt, pouring it into a bowl on the desk.
"Hey!" Dean calls.
"Dead sea brine. Good, good, good. You know, Moe Greene gets it in the eye, and Don Cuneo gets it in the revolving door?" Balthazar recalls.
"I said "hey."" Dean says.
"You did. Twice. Good for you." Balthazar says. "Blood of lamb. Blood of lamb." He looks through the fridge. "Beer, cold pizza. Blood of lamb. Yes! Blood of lamb!" He grabs it, going back to the desk.
"Why are you talking about The Godfather?" Sam asks.
"Because we're in it -- right now, tonight. And in the role of Michael Corleone -- the archangel Raphael." Balthazar says.
"You mind telling us what you mean?" Dean asks.
"No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no." Balthazar goes through the drawers. "Yes. Bone of a lesser saint." He takes it out. "This vertebra will do very nicely. Your Mr. Singer does keep a beautiful pantry."
"Wait, Raphael is after you?" Dean asks.
"Raphael is after us all. You see, he's consolidated his strength. And now he's on the move." Balthazar says.
"And where's Cas?" Sam asks.
"Oh, Cassie? He is deep, deep underground. So, good old Raffy put out a hit list on every last Samaritan who helped our dear Cas -- including the three of you. And so much more importantly, me. See, he wants to draw Cas out in the open."
"And you expect us to just believe you?" Sam asks.
"Oh, don't. You'll go where I throw you either way." Balthazar says.
"Excuse me?" Larissa asks.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Dean asks.
"That's all the time we have, gentlemen, lady." Balthazar opens his jacket up, searching his pockets, though the three hunters focused on his blood stained side.
"Whoa. What happened there?" Dean asks.
"Oh. Garish, I know. You see, Uncle Raffy sent one of his nastiest to handle me. I'm flattered, actually. And down a lung at the moment, but that's all right. Oh, this is for you." He gives a key to Sam.
"What am I supposed to do with this?" Sam asks, putting the key in his pocket.
"Run with it." Balthazar says. He's thrown across the room suddenly. The three hunters look over, seeing an angel storm in.
"Virgil." Balthazar gets up. "I said, run!" He pushes the three hunters with his powers, the three crashing through the window.
Instead of being met with the cold, hard ground and rain pouring down, the three land on a soft mat.
"Cut!" A voice yells out.
"Real good solid fall. Way to go." A guy says, slapping Dean on the butt.
"Jared, Jensen, Lizzie! Outstanding! That was just great!" A man calls out.
"Supernatural, scene one echo, take one. Tail slate. Marker!" A guy closes a clapboard.
"So... no angels?" Sam asks.
"No angels, I think." Dean says.
"Should we be killing anybody?" Sam asks.
"I don't think so." Dean mutters.
"Running?"
"Where?"
Sam picks up a piece of the window, only to find out it's some weird gel as it wobbles back and forth.
"That's a wrap on Jared, Jensen, and Lizzie!" Kevin calls out.
"W-Who the hell are--" Sam asks.
"Jared! Three minutes, okay? Great." A woman drags Sam away, him sending confused looks to Larissa and Dean.
"Where are we going?" Dean asks as he and Larissa follow.
"Jensen, Lizzie, there you are. Let's just get you in the chairs." A woman says, leading them over to some tables.
"Chair?" Dean asks.
She makes them sit in front of mirrors, the table covered with makeup products.
"Okay, hons, we're just gonna get this makeup off your face." She says.
"Wha-- I'm not wearing any mak--" Dean stops as the makeup artist using a wipe to take makeup off his face. "Oh, crap. I'm a painted whore."
The two soon get back to Sam.
"Hey." Sam says. He wraps his hand around Larissa's, keeping his grip gentle but protective.
"Dude, they put fucking makeup on us. Those bastards." Dean grumbles.
"Look, I think I know what this is." Sam says.
"Okay. What?" Dean asks.
"It's a TV show." Sam says.
"No shit, sherlock." Larissa remarks.
"You think?" Dean retorts.
"Yeah. I mean, here -- wherever here is -- this-this Twilight Zone Balthazar zapped us into. For whatever reason, our life is a TV show." Sam says.
"Why?" Dean asks.
"I don't know." Sam shrugs.
"No, seriously? Why? Why would anybody want to watch our lives?" Dean asks.
"Well, I mean, according to that interviewer, not very many people do. Look, I'm not saying it makes sense. I'm just saying, we-we landed in some dimension where you're Jensen Ackles, Larissa's a Lizzie Olsen, and I'm something called a Jared Padalecki."
"So, what, now you're Polish? Is any of this making any sense to either of you?" Dean asks as they walk out of the studio. "Oh, hey. Least my baby made it." They watch a crewmember slap mud onto the windshield. "Hey, hey! Wha--" Dean stops when he sees multiple other Impalas.
"Is he about to have a life crisis?" Larissa quietly asks Sam.
"You mean, one bigger than we're already having? Yeah, probably." Sam mutters.
"I feel sick. I'm gonna be sick." Dean says. "I want to go home. I feel like this whole place is bad touching me."
"Yeah, I know. Me, too. So, what do you think? Cas?" Sam asks.
"He's our best shot, if he's still alive." Dean says. "Dear Castiel, who are maybe running his ass away from Heaven, we pray that you have your ears on. So... breaker, breaker..."
Larissa hits Dean's arm, pointing out Cas.
"Cas? Cas. Hey, Cas." The three rush over to him. "Oh, thank God. What is all of this, huh? W-w-what did Balthazar do to us?"
"To keep you out of Virgil's reach, he's cast you into an alternate reality, a universe similar to ours in most respects, yet dramatically different in others." Cas says.
"Like-Like Bizarro Earth, right? Except instead of having Bizarro Superman, we get this clown factory." Dean says.
"Um... yeah, well... anyway, no time to explain. Do you have the key?" Cas asks.
"Yeah." Sam gives him the key. "So, uh, what does this thing do, anyway?"
"It opens a room." Cas says.
"Oh, yeah, how exciting." Larissa rolls her eyes.
"What's in the room?" Dean asks.
"Every weapon Balthazar stole from Heaven." Cas informs.
"He gave it to us?" Dean asks.
"To keep it safe until I could reach you. With those weapons, I have a chance to rally my forces." Cas says.
"Oh. Okay, good. Yeah. SO, now, uh, what's the deal with all this TV crap?" Sam asks.
"Pardon?" Misha says.
"Yeah. Amen, Padaleski." Dean says.
"Uh, Lecki." Sam corrects.
"What?" Dean asks.
"Lecki. Pretty sure." Sam says.
"Man. Did they put out new pages?" Cas asks, flipping through the script.
"New what?" Dean asks.
"I mean, is this some kind of cosmic joke?" Sam asks.
"Yeah, cause if it is, it's stupid, and we don't get it." Dean says.
"It's very uncomfortable." Larissa says.
"Yeah." Sam nods.
"Are you guys okay?" Cas asks.
"Give me that." Dean takes the script. "What is-- these are words in a script. This isn't Cas." As he says that, Cas unbuttons his white button up to reveal a graphic T-shirt.
"You guys want to run lines, or...?" He asks.
"His name's Misha. Misha?" Dean asks.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Larissa asks.
"Oh, wow. Just... great." Sam rolls his eyes, taking the key back.
"Misha? Jensen? What's up with the names around here?" Dean asks.
"You guys!" Misha calls after them. "You really punked me! I'm totally gonna tweet this one. "Hola, Mishamigos. J-squared & Liz got me good."" He types out.
"I just want to dig my finger in my brain and scratch until we're back in Kansas." Dean says.
"Hey." Sam stops them as he looks at a trailer. ""J. Ackles."" He reads the sign on the door.
"That's fake me. This must be fake mine." Dean says. They walk in, Larissa immediately looking at the aquarium.
"Dude, I have a helicopter." Dean grins, looking at the small helicopter.
"Alright, who puts a 300 gallon aquarium in their trailer?" Sam asks.
"Apparently, Jensen Ackles." Dean says.
"Huh." Sam hums. He sits at the table and opens up the laptop. "All right, here we go. Let's see who this guy is." Larissa stands next to Sam, watching him look Jensen Ackles up while Dean looks around the trailer.
"Well, he's not a hunter, but he plays one on TV." Dean says, pointing to the TV that's playing some video. "Oh. Come on." Dean shows them a magazine, Jared and Jensen on the cover. "Look at these male modelin' sons of bitches. Nice blue steel, Sam."
Larissa snickers.
"Hey, apparently it's our job." Sam shrugs. "All right, uh, here goes. Um... it says you're from Texas."
"Really?" Dean asks.
"Yeah. And, uh... oh. Says you were on a soap opera." Sam says as Larissa starts to quietly laugh.
"What?" Dean asks, walking over. Sam plays a clip from the soap opera.
"If I didn't have cancer, and I wasn't married, and I had plenty of money... would you-- would you want to run away with me?" The actress asks in character.
"Money? What, you think I really care about money? Nicole, I care that you're healthy." Jensen's character says.
"Well, I'm not quitter, Eric. I-I--" Dean shuts the laptop. Larissa quietly giggles and Dean flicks her on the head.
"Hey." Larissa whines.
"Dude." Sam glares at Dean.
"Don't like this universe, Sammy. We need to get out of this universe." Dean states.
"Yeah, no argument here. But I don't think our prayers are reaching Cas. Or the real Cas." Sam says.
"Well, I agree. I think we are definitely out of, uh, soul phone range. But..." Dean says.
"What?" Sam asks.
"If we can reverse Balthazar's spell... I watched every move. We just, uh, get the ingredients, right? Get back to that same window, and... there's no place like home."
~ ~ ~
"Backbone of a lesser saint." Sam gets the bone out of the desk. "Got it. Uh..." He pokes the bone, realizing it's fake. "It's rubber."
"Check this out." Dean holds up a prop dagger. He bends the blade back and forth. "Hey, look. It's fake." He jabs the fake window in Sam's chest. "It's all fake. What are we supposed to do with this crap?"
~ ~ ~
"'Course everything is fake. We're on a film set." Sam says as they walk to an Impala. "We got to get back to the real world." They get in and Dean starts the car. He turns the wipers on, the mud clearing away.
"Yeah, now you're talking." Dean says, driving away. "All right, we go round up the genuine articles, bring 'em here for the spell." The car starts to slow down and make noise. "What the hell is going on? What is wrong with this thing?"
"Mr. Ackles! Mr. Ackles, please!" A crewmember knocks on the window as he runs with the car.
"Uh, Dean?" Sam points the man out.
"God, Mr. Ackles, please! Please! Stop."
"Dean, it's not the Impala." Sam says.
"You think? It's a fucking prop! Just like everything else." Dean angrily gets out, the other two following.
"Oh, thank you. Thank you." The crewmember sighs in relief.
"How the hell are we supposed to get out of here?" Dean asks.
It's nighttime by time they leave, all three sitting in the backseat.
"You know wherabouts you want me to drop you off? Jensen?" Clif asks. Larissa nudges Dean after he doesn't answer.
"Me? Yes. Um... I-I'll just tag along with, uh..." Dean looks at Sam and Larissa, lost.
"Jared." Sam says.
"Jared... Jared here." Dean says.
"Um, yeah, ditto." Larissa says.
"Huh. Since when are you guys talking?" Clif asks.
"Yeah, uh, y-you know what, Clint, uh--"
"Uh, uh, Clif." He corrects Sam.
"Y-Yeah. Yeah, of course. Clif. Obviously. Um, so, uh, I think we're gonna go back to my place and do some... work." Sam says.
"Work on our acting." Dean says.
"Yeah." Sam nods.
"For our characters. For the show." Dean says.
"Yeah." Sam nods.
"God knows we need it." Larissa mumbles.
"All right." Clif says.
"Where the hell are we, anyway?" Dean asks. He sees a Welcome to Vancouver sign. "Dude, we're not even in America."
The trio walk into Jared's mansion.
"Nice modest digs, Jay-Z." Dean says.
"Wow. I must be the star of this thing." Sam says.
"Yeah, right. Check it out." Dean nods to a tanning bed.
"What am I, Dracula?" Sam asks.
"Vampires don't tan." Larissa says.
"George Hamilton Dracula. Oh. Now we're talking." Dean notices the liquor cabinet. He looks out the back door. "Dude, you have a camel in your backyard."
"It's an alpaca, dumbass." The three look up to the second floor, finding Ruby.
"Ruby?" Dean asks.
"What the hell is she doing here?" Larissa quietly asks.
""Ruby." Right. That one never gets old." She quips, walking over to the three. "And it is my house." She reminds Larissa who awkwardly smiles, having thought she was quiet enough. "How was work today, hon?" She kisses Sam.
Larissa and Dean's eyes widen, Larissa's jaw dropping. The two share an extremely confused look.
"Wait. You and Ruby?" Dean asks.
"Do you honestly think that's funny, Jensen?" Genevieve asks.
"Right. Right. Cause you're not Ruby. You... I mean, how could you be? You... of course! You are the lovely actress who plays Ruby. And you are, uh, in... Jared's house, uh, because you two are..." Dean sees the wedding photo on the mantle. "Married! You married fake Ruby?"
"What are you doing?" Genevieve asks.
"Work. Work." Sam says.
"Yeah. Just, uh, thought we'd pop in, say "hey." Hey." Dean tells the woman. Larissa waves. "Uh, and-and-and maybe run some lines. It's..."
"You two have never even been to our house." Genevieve says.
"Well, now that I know there's an alpaca out back, I'm definitely coming back." Dean says.
"Well, alpacas are the greenest animal." Genevieve says.
"Mm. Yeah. Fun." Larissa mumbles.
"Right. Right. That is so important." Dean says.
"Well, there's that thing I have to get to." Genevieve says.
"Oh, yeah. Of course, yeah. The thing." Sam says.
"The international otter adoption charity dinner?" Genevieve reminds.
"Oh." Sam mumbles.
"Okay, well..." She kisses Sam again. "Well, I'm glad you three are talking, anyway."
"Yeah." Sam nods.
Genevieve leaves.
"Well, looks like you did alright." Dean says. Larissa clears her throat. "In this world. Ja-- Jared did good. Sam's doing good, too."
"Yeah. Yeah. I should figure out her name." Sam says.
~ ~ ~
Sam is sitting at a desk that's in front of a giant portrait of Jared dressed as a cowboy. There's a suit of armor on either side of the portrait.
"Wrist bone of a saint and holy reliquary. Museum quality from diocese in Oaxaca." Looks legit." Sam says.
"All right. Auction house is in Mexico City. We could be there day after tomorrow. We, uh, case it, yank it, be back here by the end of the week." Dean says.
"Or we could just buy it." Sam says.
"What? Dude, that thing's over one hundred thou--" Dean stops when Sam holds a black card up.
"Why am I not shocked?" Larissa wonders.
"Hello, Jared Padalecki." Dean says.
~ ~ ~
Sam speaks in Spanish over the phone before hanging up.
"No problemo. Because money is no--" Dean stops. "This baby's maxed." He tosses a card aside.
"Wow. They said it should be at the airport first thing in the morning." Sam says.
"Money, man. There is nothing like it." Dean says. "All right. Couch. Tv star. Beauty rest." He jumps onto the large, black couch, lying down to sleep.
Dean has been asleep for a bit and Sam and Larissa are finally done researching. Larissa gets out of the armchair she was on and puts the laptop she was using on the table Dean was at earlier.
"Hey, um... a-about the kisses with-with Ruby-- or, well, not Ruby." Sam says. "I-- I mean, I didn't see it coming. I don't--"
"Oh, no, no, it's fine." Larissa dismisses.
"Really?" Sam asks skeptically.
"Yeah. I mean, why wouldn't it be? You and I aren't... dating. We're not boyfriend and girlfriend. Plus, we're not even us here, anyway, so... nothing to get stressed over or something." Larissa says.
"You're sure?" Sam asks.
"Yeah. Yeah. We're just two people who... who kiss and go out to eat. So... you know, kiss her, be married, have sex, whatever. It's... it's nothing." Larissa says, ignoring the tug at her heartstrings. But they still haven't really labeled whatever their relationship is yet, so she has no right to be jealous.
They're back on set, Clif having driven them there. They're in Bobby's house and open up the package they got earlier. The lights turn on, the three looking around.
"Whoa. What?" Dean mutters.
"We finish today in 12 hours if it kills us all. Get A and B cam for scene 12. What is this?" Bob asks. He turns to the three hunters. "Here for the first run through before anyone else? Dedication."
"Uh, can I talk to you for a second?" Dean asks Bob, Larissa and Sam walking away.
The two sit in their cast chairs with Misha sitting behind them.
"Ooh, "priority." What's in it?" Misha asks.
"I bought part of a dead person." Sam says.
"Oh, cool." Misha says as Dean walks over.
"So, uh, bad news. Uh... looks like we're gonna have to do a little acting." Dean says.
"What?" Sam and Larissa ask.
~ ~ ~
"Supernatural, scene 36, take 1. Marker!"
"Balthazar is no hero. But he knows Raphael will never take him back." Misha says in character of Cas. Dean walks forward a little, looking down at his mark and he moves over so he's on it.
"Cut!" Bob calls.
~ ~ ~
"Supernatural, scene 36, take 8. Marker!"
"Action!"
Sam moves his arms around, crossing and uncrossing them. Larissa twists the ends of her hair around her fingers.
"Balthazar is no hero. But he knows Raphael will never take him back."
"Dean, grimly. And yet, somehow you got no problem with it." Dean says, reading the script.
"Cut!" Bob calls.
~ ~ ~
A hair stylist is fixing Misha's hair up.
"Action."
Misha moves the woman out of the camera's view.
"That's because... that's because we have no other choice." Sam says.
"Don't look at the camera." Dean mumbles.
"What?" Sam asks.
"Look anywhere but the camera." Dean mutters. Sam looks at the ceiling.
"That's because we have no other choice!" Sam says.
"Cut! For the love of--"
~ ~ ~
"Action."
Dean stares at Misha with a weird look, Sam looking terrified, and Larissa looks like she wants to die.
"Cut!"
~ ~ ~
"If there's a key." Sam says, raising an arm. "Then there must also be a lock." He raises his other arm.
"Cut!"
~ ~ ~
"Action!"
"If there's a key..." Sam holds his arm up before holding his other arm up. "...then there has to be a lock. And when we find the lock, we can get the weapons, and then we can have the weapons. And the lock. We'll still have the lock, I imagine, because we've opened it, and, of course, the initial key."
"Exactly!" Larissa agrees with a little too much force.
"We need to get all three of that crap." Dean says in a deep voice.
"What?" Sam asks.
"That's how he does it." Dean whispers.
"Oh." Sam says.
"Do we really need all these lines? I mean, I-I-I think we've covered it. Right?" Dean asks Bob.
"Cut!"
The three hunters and Misha are back in their cast chairs and Sam is looking through the script.
"Who wrote this? Nobody says "penultimate."" Sam says.
"Gun, mouth, now." Dean makes a gun gesture to his mouth.
"Moving on!" Kevin yells out.
"Thank God." Sam sighs in relief, the three leaving. They go back to the living room set and open the package.
They complete preparing the spell, putting all of the ingredients and everything together.
"That's it, Toto." Dean says. They perform the spell and jump through the window, but just land on other side of set, except no mat this time.
"Oh, that one hurt." Dean groans in pain.
~ ~ ~
"Maybe we did it wrong." Sam says, the three walking into Jensen's trailer.
"No. No, that-that spell was perfect. It should have worked." Dean says.
"What if it can't?" Sam asks. "Look, I was up all night, looking online. There's no sign that anything like the apocalypse happened here. Ever. And as far as I can tell, monsters, ghosts, demons -- they're all pretend."
"So nobody's hunting them?"
"No hunters. Look, maybe that's why our spell didn't work, Dean, you know? Maybe here, there's no supernatural, no magic."
"No demons, no Hell, no Heaven, no-no God?"
"Something like. Even better -- no angels."
~ ~ ~
They're walking around set, when they hear a guy yelling a name.
"Lizzie! Lizzie!"
"Oh, shit, that's you." Dean reminds Larissa. She stops, looking around, and sees a guy jogging over to the three of them.
"Uh... hey." She greets.
"Hey, babe." He kisses her on the lips.
"Oh-- mm." Larissa stares at him in shock. "Hi." Sam and Dean share confused looks.
"You didn't come home last night? You didn't come home." The guy says.
"Oh, yeah, um, I... I went to Jared's with Jensen for-for work. And I-I fell asleep there... on the couch." Larissa says.
"Oh. Uh, okay. Didn't know you guys were talking now." The guy says.
"Yeah. Yeah, um... yeah." Larissa looks at the two for help, but they both shrug cluelessly. "Um... we have to keep working, though. So, I'll... I'll see you later."
"Uh... okay. Yeah. Yeah, sure." The guy nods. "See at home tonight?"
"You can count on that." Larissa smiles, patting him on the shoulder with each word.
"Okay." He chuckles. "See you later." He pecks her on the lips before leaving.
Larissa turns to Sam and Dean.
"I... who was that?" Larissa asks.
"Apparently, your boyfriend. Or husband, or fiancΓ©, who the hell knows at this point?" Dean shrugs.
"Okay, can we-- can we move on?" Sam asks, ignoring the jealous feeling in his chest.
"Aww... does somebody want a PB & jealous sandwich?" Dean teases his brother.
"Shut up, Dean. We have bigger issues." Sam says. "It has nothing to do with that dude." He lies.
"Yeah, sure. Let's go, complicated lovebirds." Dean walks off.
"So, you're... you're not jealous?" Larissa asks.
"No." Sam scoffs. "It's like you said last night. We're just two people who kiss and eat out. No reason to be jealous."
"Right." Larissa nods. "We should go." She follows Dean.
"Yeah." Sam trails after her.
~ ~ ~
"Okay, maybe we can't get out of, uh, you know, earth number two right now, but the least we can do is get the hell out of the Canadian part of it." Dean says.
"Yeah." Sam agrees.
"I hear one more conversation about hockey, I'm gonna puke." Dean says.
"Wait a minute. This way, this way." Sam leads them to the left.
"No, no, no, no. It's this way. It's this way!" Dean walks forward.
"No, Dean, look, I really we should-- Dean!" Sam yells, spotting Virgil behind his brother.
"You think you can run?" Virgil asks. He puts a hand on Dean's forehead.
"No!" Sam screams, but nothing happens.
"Sorry, dude. Mojo free zone." Dean says, punching Virgil.
"No magic in the house." Sam says.
"Which makes you nothing but a dick." Dean says.
The four fight, exchanging punches and kicks.
Some crew members and the stunt doubles rush over, pulling the four apart.
"No, no, no, no! Stop! You don't understand!" Sam shouts. "No, no, no!" Virgil takes the key from Sam.
"You're dead, Virgil! Virgil! I'm gonna break your fucking neck!" Dean shouts.
"Hey!" Sam yells.
"There you are, guys!" Bob walks up to the three who on the set of Bobby's house. "You got a minute?"
"Actually, we're-- we're looking for, uh--" Sam starts.
"For that extra you tried to kill? So, is it money? Is this the kind of act that goes away if we can scare up some coverage on a raise?" Bob asks.
"More money? You already pay these two jokers enough as it is." Dean says.
"Yeah." Sam and Larissa nod in agreement.
"Cause I'd like to think that over these years, we've grown closer. That you don't think of me as director Bob or executive producer Bob Singer, but as Uncle Bob."
"Wait, you're kidding. So, the character in the show, Bobby Singer--" Sam says.
"What kind of douchebag names a character after himself?" Dean asks.
"Oh, that's not right." Sam says.
"That's so annoying." Larissa says.
"Okay, guys, let's begin again." Bob says.
"You know, I don't think Virgil would have shagged out of here without getting his mitts on that key." Dean says.
"Yeah. Yeah, I agree." Sam says.
"Guys... you can't come to work on poppers and smuggle kidneys in from Mexico and make up your own lines as you go. You cannot make up your own lines! Good God, what about your careers?" Bob asks.
"You know what? Screw our careers, Bob." Sam says.
"Yeah, fuck 'em." Larissa agrees.
"What?" Bob asks.
"You heard my brother and friend. That's right, I said "brother." Cause you know what, Bob? We're not actors. We're hunters. We're the Winchesters. Always have been, and always will be. And where we're from, people don't know who we are. But you know what? We mattered in that world. In fact, we even saved a son of a bitch once or twice. And yeah, okay, here, maybe there's some-some fans who give a crap about this nonsense."
"I wouldn't call it nonsense." Bob says.
"But, Bob Singer -- if that even is your name -- tell me this... what does it all mean?" Dean asks.
"Okay. This is good. I mean, we've all had our psychotic breaks, right? I can work with this." Bob says.
"Dean, Lissy. Virgil... I think he has the key." Sam says, rushing off, Larissa following. Dean follows, but goes back to Bob.
"We quit."
"Maybe we can get on the police dispatch system." Sam says as they're in Jared and Gen's house.
"Put out an APB on Virgil. Might work, if he stays obvious." Dean says.
"It's not like we have a lot of time." Sam says.
"Oh, my God! Oh, my God!" Gen screams, rushing out of one of the rooms.
"What?" Sam asks.
"Misha! He's been stabbed to death!" She cries.
"Where?" The three hunters ask.
"Where?!" Gen asks.
"Yeah, yeah, Raphael. Like the ninja turtle. He was calling someone named Raphael, up in Heaven." A homeless man tells the three in the alley that Misha was killed. "Yeah, yeah. That's right. The-the scary man killed the attractive crying man, and then he started to pray. And the strange part -- after a while, I-I swear I heard this voice answering."
"What did it say?" Sam asks.
"Well, it didn't make any sense." The man says.
"Try us." Dean says.
"The voice said for Virgil to return tomorrow at the place where he crossed over, at the time of the crossing, and Raphael would "reach through the window and take him and the key home.""
"Uh, okay. Hey, thank you." Dean gives the man 50 Canadian dollars.
"Uh... Dean, if Virgil gets back with that key, Cas is dead, and our world is toast." Sam says.
"Well, then we stop him. I mean, how bad can an angel with no wings be?" Dean asks.
Larissa fell asleep on the couch in Bobby's house set, the brothers standing around.
"You know that if we drop Virgil, get the key, then this might be it. We might be stuck here." Dean says.
"No, we'll figure out a way back." Sam says.
"Yeah, you wouldn't be that broken up if we didn't, though." Dean says.
"What? Don't be stupid." Sam scoffs.
"Well, I'm just saying. No Hell below us, above us only sky." Dean says.
"Dean, our friends are back there." Sam says.
"Yeah, but here, you got a pretty good life. I mean, back home, the hits have been coming since you were 6 months old. You got to admit, being a-a bazillionaire, married to Ruby, the whole package. It's no contest."
Sam's eyes drift to Larissa asleep on the couch. Her face holding a peaceful expression, one hand resting on her stomach, while the other hangs off the edge of the couch. His lips quirk up a little, watching her chest rise and fall evenly with her breath.
"No, you know, you were right. We just don't mean the same thing here. I mean, we're not even brothers here, man." Sam says.
"All right, then. Let's get our crazy show back home." Dean says.
Virgil gets on set and is shooting a shotgun, killing multiple crew members.
"Hey!" Sam shouts.
Dean lunges at the angel, punching him. Sam and Larissa join in hitting Virgil, Sam getting the key back.
"Dean! Got it!" Sam shouts. He sees the sigil on the window glowing. "Raphael." He mumbles. "Run!" He shouts, grabbing Larissa's wrist.
The three fly backward through the window. They crash through it, landing on the cold, hard ground, all groaning in pain.
"You three... have the strangest luck." They look up to see a woman as they stand up.
"Raphael? Nice meatsuit. Dude looks like a lady." Dean comments.
Raphael squeezes her fist, the three bending over in pain, falling back to the ground. Raphael picks up the key that Sam dropped.
"And that will open you a locker at the Albany bus station." Balthazar appears.
"Really?" Raphael asks. The three hunters stand up.
"You see, I needed a modest decoy to make it more convincing." Balthazar says.
"Give me the weapons." Raphael orders.
"Sorry, darling. They're gone."
"What?!"
"I said, too bloody late. You see, they were so well hidden that I needed to find them. So, I volunteered these three marmosets for a game of fetch with Virgil. You three were such an adequate stick. Thank you. Thank you, boys, lady."
"You've made you last mistake."
"Oh, I've got a few more up my sleeve, honey."
"Step away from him, Raphael." Cas appears. "I have the weapons now. Their power is with me."
"Castiel." Raphael says.
"If you don't want to die tonight, back off." Cas says.
Raphael disappears.
"Well, Cas... now that you have your sword, try not to die by it." Balthazar says.
Cas, the brothers, and Larissa appear in Bobby's house.
"Cas, what the hell? Wait, wait, were you in on this, using us as a diversion?" Sam asks.
"It was Balthazar's plan. I would have done the same thing." Cas says.
"That's not comforting, Cas." Dean says.
"When will I be able to make you understand? If I lose against Raphael, we all lose. Everything." Cas says.
"Yeah, Cas. We know the stakes. That's about all you've told us!" Dean exclaims.
"I'm sorry about all this. I'll explain when I can." Cas disappears.
"Fucking angels." Dean grumbles.
Sam knocks on the wall.
"Solid. It's real." Sam sighs in relief.
"Yeah. Yeah, real, moldy, termite eaten home sweet home. Chock full of crap that wants to skin you. Oh, and, uh, we're broke again." Dean says.
"Yeah. But, hey... at least we're talking." Sam says. He looks at Larissa who lightly rolls her eyes, but has a small smile on her face.
~ ~ ~
Dean is asleep on the couch and Larissa is eating some of the cold pizza.
"I want a label." Sam says, walking up to her.
"What?" She asks, her mouth full of pizza. Sam grimaces, Larissa quickly chewing and swallowing the food. "Sorry. What?"
"I want us to have a label." Sam says.
"Why?" Larissa asks.
"Well, see, I-I didn't think I cared. I mean, you know, about a label or anything. And I was-- I was a mess when we, you know, were talking about this. Maybe I still am a mess. Well... okay, technically, I'm pretty sure I'm somewhat of a mess all of the time, but what human isn't, you know?"
"You wanna get to the point?" Larissa asks with a small amused smile.
"Right. Right. But-But after-- after kissing Gen and... and seeing you with that guy who-who kissed you and-and was calling you "babe" and stuff. I... I realized something."
"Which is...?"
"I only want to kiss you. I only want to be kissed by you." Sam states.
Larissa ignores the heat rushing to her cheeks, biting her lip to keep from her smile getting too big.
"So... will you be my girlfriend?" Sam asks, a nervous look in his eyes as he cutely smiles.
Larissa softly smiles at him. She puts her pizza down before cupping the side of his face and getting on her toes, kissing him. She continues to kiss him for a few moments before pulling away.
"Does that answer your question?" She quietly asks.
"Can... I think so, but I also-- I don't wanna misread anything, so can I have a verbal answer?" Sam asks and Larissa softly giggles.
"Yes, Sammy. I am all yours and you are all mine." She grins. Sam grins back, cupping her face with both hands, and kissing her again.
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Samrissa is thriving ππππππ₯°π₯°