Today I wanted to write a chapter from the point of view of the mother, but I must say that in this case I do not know if it was so, but had to infer the feelings and thoughts based on the actions of the person, I still hope you like it ^^
Pov mother of Luna:
Actually I'm not such a bad mother, I give my daughter everything she needs. A house, food, school supplies, technical equipment. I do not understand how you can not just be grateful, instead she always wants more attention and acts as if it would go very quickly very bad.
Just the other day, I drove the girl to field hockey and had to take her sisters with me. Just because she couldn't take all her stuff at the same time. Yes, the two little ones were a little loud but all of a sudden Luna is covering her ears. It looked so funny and she must be able to do it without. Otherwise, she will still make the plan for the garbage pickup later in the office:
"Can you please stop covering your ears?"
She just nodded silently and after a few seconds she covered her ears again. Isn't she listening to me?!
"Stop doing that! You don't have to do that!"
She winced as I yelled. It wasn't that loud now.
"You have to learn to put up with it."
"But I can't" she said to me "I'm going to go crazy and I don't think you want to call Malou"
"Why would I call her? Then go crazy, but don't breathe funny, you didn't do that just now either"
She just started hyperventilating?! Of course she's just acting it out, it's obvious. I put the field hockey stick in her hand and let her out with one. I bet she's going to tell Malou what a bad person I am, and I don't understand how the kid has any friends at all. So ungrateful...
But I didn't do anything wrong, I don't call a friend when I'm her mother. I know her best, right? She makes me so angry, also that she really wants to go to this psychologist, that's just work for me again....
But she is my daughter and even if I sometimes can't show it to her, I love her and wouldn't know what I would do without her...and I show her that well enough!
She is the person who does not behave. She never has to help in the household and she often has time for herself, besides she takes her hobbies by herself! I am not to blame for that.
Another time, for example, I was completely exhausted and simply asked her to take care of her sisters:
"I don't have time! I have field hockey and lyrik-Ag and then 2 papers and homework" she said and looked at me pleadingly.
How could she be so selfish? I'm not doing well and she can't even manage to help me now, why is she so spoiled?
"But I've already worked a lot today and your siblings want to be entertained, so you can help for once!"
And instead of agreeing with me, she is then also still stuffy and does what I tell her, at least the least...
I don't know what to do anymore and when I sit at the dinner table with my husband in the evening and the children are already in bed, I am just desperate...
"Was she also so impossible with you today?" I say then and put my head in the neck, the coke in the hand.
In the meantime we sit in front of the TV and watch programs about good education. Children need rules, prohibitions and love has to be fought for. Maybe that's what we've been doing wrong.
"Yes...what did we do wrong with her?" my husband replies, looking at me in despair. How could we have let our child become so spoiled!!!
We look at each other and hug. At least we still have each other. The reflection of the TV shines in his face.
My husband pressed a kiss on my forehead and we continue watching our show.
Sometimes I think she just wants to make me angry, when she doesn't clean her room again, when she starts to discuss again and doesn't understand how well she is doing...
Yes, it may seem like I don't love her, but I try my best every day to show her how much I love her. It hurts me to see when she doesn't accept herself, but the next moment she acts like she doesn't want to be, you know what I mean? I'm not a bad mother, I just want the best for my daughter, but she really doesn't make it easy for me to love her....
The only thing I can praise her for is grades, she is nothing but school and that is not meant to be reductive, but without school she would be lost. Yes, she has friends and hobbies, but she can't seriously think that I praise her for writing one of her stupid poems or for winning a field hockey game. That is not my job as a mother, she should know that this motivation should come from herself and not from me or my husband...I don't know, probably she is just not what I wanted for my daughter.
I got her so early and yes, she doesn't fit the norm and maybe I have to learn to deal with it, but I need time and she should give it to me? Why do I waste so many thoughts on her?