With a deep, frustrated sigh, I turned in bed on my other side in the hope of finally falling asleep. But I was beginning to have doubts about whether tonight I would even be able to sleep at all.
There was just too much going through my head. Even though Roman tried his best to distract me, throughout the day and during our dinner together. Now that I was alone in my room and the whole house was quiet, my thoughts were spinning like crazy. I mean, that was to be expected in my situation.
At some point I had enough. I threw the blanket aside and stood up. Maybe a glass of warm milk would help me. Or maybe chamomile tea. As quietly as I could, I left my room and made my way to the kitchen. But as I passed the master bedroom, I noticed that the door was slightly ajar. Curiosity eventually got the better of me and I cautiously stuck my head in.
The curtains were not fully closed, so it was possible for me to see Roman. He looked so peaceful. I stood there for a moment, watching his chest slowly rise and fall. Slowly, without choosing to do so, I walked up to his bed and sat down next to him.
"Roman?" I whispered, but of course got no response.
Carefully I raised my hand and gently stroked his forehead. Slowly, my fingertips smoothed over his temple down to his cheek.
"Ro?" I asked again, but this time a little louder.
I watched Roman's eyes begin to flutter open as he slowly woke up. When his tired eyes found me, he began to smile.
"Hey, baby girl... what's wrong?" he wanted to know, his sleepy voice even deeper than normal.
"I'm sorry. But I can't sleep. I have too much on my mind and I thought.... I don't know what I was thinking. Sorry, go back to sleep." I started to reply until I realized what I was actually doing here.
I tried to get up but Roman managed to grab my hand and stop me.
"Hey.... it's okay. Come here. Lie down." he replied before sliding to the side to make room for me.
I carefully lay down next to him only for him to pull me gently into his arms so that my head came to rest on his chest. It surprised me a bit, but that feeling quickly disappeared as I inhaled Roman's scent deeply. Somehow it was already familiar and had an incredibly calming effect on me.
"How's that?" he murmured, and I could swear I heard contentment in his voice.
"Very nice. Thank you." I whispered.
"What's going through that beautiful head of yours that's keeping you from sleeping?" he wanted to know as his index finger began to draw little patterns on my back and along my spine.
"It's just so much to process in such a short time. I'm so worried that this won't work and that we'll both get in trouble. Especially you... I'm really not worth all this," I muttered.
"DJ, you are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for. I understand that you are worried. But I promise you that everything will turn out fine. Relax. I'll take good care of you," he replied calmly.
He really didn't seem to have any doubts about his plan. I wish I could be so confident about this. But there was too much on the line for that. My whole life, actually.
I took a deep breath and tried to let go of my thoughts, at least for the moment. Roman had to feel my body relax.
"There. Much better. Try to sleep baby girl. I'm here." he said softly.
"Thanks, Ro." I replied, lifting my head to look at him.
When I did, I saw him smile softly at me. Even in the dim light, I saw his eyes sparkle. I raised my hand to caress his face again. My gaze lingered on his lips as my finger slowly traced the perimeter of his full lips. Without thinking, I stretched up and kissed him softly.
It felt good... right. Roman didn't hesitate for a second as he immediately returned my hesitant kiss. For a short time our mouths lingered on each other, slowly and tenderly. Afterwards we gave each other a tired smile before I snuggled into his strong arms and finally fell asleep thanks to his steady heartbeat. And it was the best sleep I had in a long time.