"
" Kaleb" just the sound of Nick's voice caused my hands to tighten around the wheel. My heart thumped as her face flashed at the back of my eyes. After everything, every fucking thing I still meant nothing to her.
It hurt worse than being shot.
" Kaleb, the speed limit is 60 miles an hour"
" Since when do you give a fuck?" I spat as the speedometer inched over 90 miles a hour.
" Since I wanted to at least make it to thirty before I died"
" If you have that much of a problem with my driving then you can get the fuck out"
Throwing a look my way Nick slouched against the seat and his gaze shifted out of the window. He didn't dare say another word and a part of me wished that he would. I wanted to crash the car, I didn't care if it killed us both. I needed to feel something, anything besides this emptiness and anger. Traveling across state lines, through cities and interacting with people that rather see me dead than speak with me. All of it was for her.. But I wasn't a part of her plans. I didn't play a role in her mind and once again what I felt for her was far more than what she felt for me.
I was a fool
I wasn't just turning into my dad but I was turning into the parts of my dad that no one respected. A pitiful simp chasing after a woman who didn't love him the way he loved her. I hated it and I hated that I still loved her.
This feeling.. it needed to end.
_________________________
Five days later - 2:43am
Groggily I attempted to shake the sleepiness from my head before running my hands over my face. I haven't been able to sleep, even eating has been a challenge and it doesn't matter what I tell myself. I want Mia, like a drug I hate that I want her so badly I can't function properly. Even if I could hear her say my name it would give me some kind of release. But I couldn't, the deep wound that she left was still open, still fresh. Though I wanted to taste her again, the strength to forgive her, just wasn't there.
So I turned to my friends for help and Jake undoubtedly came up with a solution. He swore on his life it would work but everyone was half and half in agreement. But I didn't have many options left and even now it felt wrong. The guilt was keeping me just from getting out of the car. Sighing I looked back at the tall building, most of the windows were dark and only a few were illuminated. I was sure one of them belonged to Angie, I was surprised that she even answered the phone and when I asked to see her, she eagerly agreed. The Elms were a high class hotel and I was sure Angie was going broke being here and it was only a matter of time before she left DyverCity. I couldn't let her leave, not yet.
Glancing back at my phone I read Jake's message again.
Jake- if you do it and you don't feel any different I will bring her back myself.
Jake- if you don't do it, I'll never shut up about it.
Dropping my hand I sighed looking back at the building again. Sliding my phone back into the pocket of my hoodie. I climbed out of the car, closed the door behind me and locked it. This area was posh and though it was only a short ways away from downtown, it didn't stay awake at night. It was dead silent and the streets were empty. The building was as posh and over the top on the outside as it was inside with gleaming floors and polished high end furniture with several large chandeliers that twinkled dimly from above. The reception desk wasn't occupied and the only lingering gaze I caught was from the security guard, he watched me suspiciously. Once I met his gaze he swiftly looked away and turned back to the computer monitors on his desk. As I approached the receptionist desk a older woman stepped out from a door leading towards the back. Her tired eyes wrinkled as she gave me a soft welcoming smile.
" Hello, welcome to the Elms how can I help you on this late night?"
" I'm here to see someone, Angelica Rossi"
Slowly she nodded. " Is she expecting you?"
" She should be, I told her I was coming. I can call her-"
"That's not necessary, I'll just check her visitors list and see if you have been added" Quickly she turned towards the nearby computer and began typing against the keyboard." Can I have your name and a form of identification please?"
" Kaleb"
She rose an eyebrow as I dug my wallet out of my back pocket. Swiftly I pulled out my driver's license and slid it towards her.
" Amato" I sighed just as she paused momentarily and her eyes widened. A heaviness hung in the air and I waited for her to ask me. But she didn't and efficiently typed my name in then forcefully met my gaze with a now fake smile.
" You are listed Mr. Amato, you're free to head on up. She's on the ninth floor in room 922, I'll let her know you have arrived"
" Thank you"
I didn't look back at the woman or the security guard but I could feel the heavy gazes as I strode past the seating area and to the elevators. The date of Tony's trial was growing closer and closer and so were the rumors that entwined throughout the Lombardi family name. I was one of Nick's closest friends, and had been for many years so if anyone knew the truth it was me. And the fact that I still hung around Nick with everything that had happened only lead to one other explanation. I was one of them, I was a part of the mafia, it was true. No one had any proof, it was all talk, no one knew what to believe. But it was enough to have them all afraid, no one ever said the words out loud but you could see it in their eyes every single time.
Stopping in front of the door I stared at the deep, precise cravings in the dark wood.
922.
My mind was admittedly filled with regret and I debated on walking away when I thought of what I would do if I left. Sleep was out of the question, driving sleep deprived was as bad as driving drunk. And what I would do when I got home, smoke in front of the fireplace. Stare at the tv watching at some horribly predictable reality show on one of the cable channels.. these were the last of my options, sweating in the gym only pissed me off. Even jerking off.. I could only think of her, Jake insisted that I would feel better once I fucked another girl. Once I put myself inside of someone else my connection to Mia would break.
I could only hope that it would.
With a deep breath I knocked my knuckles against the wood then waited, listening to the silence of the hallway. Just then the locks on the other side clicked loudly and the door swiftly opened. Angie's wide dark eyes stared up at me worriedly as her full lip formed a frown.
" Hey"
" Kaleb" she tucked her dark hair behind her ears and took a step back letting me inside. " What's going on? Are you okay?"
Stepping inside of her room, I gazed at the unmade bed, it was the only thing disheveled while everything else looked perfect. At least Angie was the same as I remembered, she was still a neat freak. A small couch sat at the foot of her queen size bed and I flopped down onto it. Holding the silk robe around her body she slowly made her way over to me and sat down.
" No, I'm not okay Ang"
"What's going on?"
Sighing I slouched against the soft leather letting my head rest against the back.
" Have you been so hurt by someone that you didn't know what to with yourself? You can't eat, you can think straight you can't even sleep"
" Is that why you look like you're about to pass out?"
" Are you trying to say I look like shit?" With a little chuckle her face turned bright red as she smiled wide.
Giggling she playfully shoved my shoulder.
" No! You're always handsome.. even when you're not trying to be" she finished softly pulling away from my gaze but only for a moment. With a sigh her attention returned to me.
" So can I ask who hurt you?"
As a heavy sadness fell over me I frowned and looked away from her deep gaze.
" My ex fiancee"
Silence and intenseness swiftly filled the room.
" I was shot for her. Then she left me to die and when I tried to go after her, she refused and claimed to be protecting me.. I don't need anyone to protect me. I would get shot a dozen more times and I would have sacrificed anything for her... But it still wasn't enough"
The pain in my chest grew so intense at the memory that it almost felt impossible to breathe. As her face flashed in my mind, a burning heat pushed at the back of my eyes. Forcing out a deep breath the muscles in my chest flexed forcefully as if I was being compressed in a vice. Closing my eyes I tried to get a grip on myself, I could hear Tony's voice in my head telling me, demanding that I man the fuck up. But the man in me felt ripped in half and all that was left was a little boy. I could practically see myself, 9 year old me crying feeling the same emptiness I felt when I watched my mom walk out of the door. She wasn't overly affectionate or caring but in comparison to my dad.. on that day she didn't see me as hers but an extension of him.
I didn't matter, I didn't mean enough for her to stay.
It was a fact.
And it broke me.
My heart thumped fast and hard, slamming against my ribcage it felt as if I was being punched in my chest. But there was no pain and as a gentle heat slid across my leg my eyes snapped open and fell to the small, slender hand now resting on my thigh. As I met Angie's gaze her dark brown eyes glistened as she stared back at me.
" I'm so sorry. Kaleb"
Releasing a deep breath I resisted the urge to shove her hand away and shook my head.
" I should be used to it by now. Everyone walks out of my life, sooner or later"
" That's not true"
Scoffing my eyes rolled on their own accord.
" When we first met, when you and I became one I didn't want to leave. You know that better than anyone"
" You just wanted to hide from your parents"
She hesitated before rolling her shoulders, caving in against her own thoughts.
" A part of it was that but-"
Another scoff escaped and as I slouched even lower she slid across the leather even closer to me. Instantly her hands grabbed ahold of my face as she could stare back into my eyes.
" But the other part was that I genuinely didn't want to leave you. For a long time after that I waited and wished that one day you would just show up at my school. My house or I would see you just walking down the street. But years passed and it eventually came clear that you didn't really care about me, and it was just sex."
"Now you're imagining things"
Her eyebrows came together as she released my face. " Am I? Cause I don't remember you ever looking for me, asking about me or anything."
My jaw clenched as I thought about it, she was right and I hated that. Once we moved to the states Angie didn't cross my mind at all.
" Would it have made a difference if I did? "
" Yes, cause you wouldn't be feeling like this right now "
My eyebrow jerked up at her words.
" What do you mean?"
" You're not even mine Kaleb but when I saw you hit the ground I panicked. I wanted to run to you. Fucking Nick and Savino wouldn't let me see you at the hospital then they moved you here. So I took a big chunk of my trust fund and flew here as soon as I could. I had to know if you were okay"
" You did that for me"
She smiled weakly. " If you looked for me, we could have been together and you wouldn't have had to go looking for me.. cause I would have been right there.. in the bed with you until you woke up"
The sincerity in her voice was so deep and full of meaning that I found myself staring in her dark enchanting eyes. She was open with me and I could tell every word that left her mouth was the truth.
" Really?"
" Yes" her voice came out weakly as her eyes darted downward to my mouth. Slowly I sat up from my slouched position and leaned towards her. As she mimicked my movements my lips brushed against hers. Her hand gently stroked against my jaw, making it's way to the back of my head. As her fingers pushed into my hair, I hesitated staring back into her eyes.
" Don't pull my hair"
She smirked. " I know " tilting her head our lips pressed together as she pulled me into her. A comforting heat engulfed my mind like a cloud of fog as the kiss deepened. The blood rushed through my veins as the kiss grew more longingly, the need only growing strong as Angie gently tugged at the piercings in my lip. The sensation sent a gentle ripple of pleasure through my body and slowly I felt myself beginning to stiffen. I didn't have to say anything and Angie climbed onto my lap, the insatiable heat radiating from her core caused me to strain against the denim. As she opened her mouth for my tongue I didn't hesitate to meet mine with hers. She tasted of mouthwash and her skin felt like silk and smelt of honey. Pulling away to catch her breath she stared back at me. With her darken eyes telling me exactly what she wanted she tugged at the silk tie that held her robe closed. Tossing it to the floor her dark eyes were demanding as I took in the sight of her beautiful naked body. Her almond colored skin was flawless, free of any scars, piercings or tattoos. Perky B cup tits topped with pretty light brown peaks stared back at me. Her stomach was flat, waist was narrow and her legs were toned with just enough meat for her to almost be considered thick. She was more beautiful than the first time.
" Take me, please"
__________________________
Two weeks later
Groaning I rolled my tongue around my dry mouth and as my eyes creaked opened they narrowed at the high priced humidifier Angie insisted that I buy. It wasn't doing shit to moisten the dry air in my home. Today was Tony's trial and unsurprisingly Nick was in high spirits and I anticipated him blowing up my phone. My phone not to be at the door. As the doorbell rang again I sighed glancing over at Angie. Frowning I quickly I pushed the anger and sadness to the back of my mind, I loved the fact that I didn't have to sleep alone. But the lingering feelings belonging to Mia hadn't gone anywhere. Luckily enough Angie was a highly successful distraction and kept my bleeding heart silent for the most part. She was still curled around my arm, sleeping soundly, the doorbell hadn't pulled her from the blissful slumber. It almost made me hate being a light sleeper. Groggily I grabbed my phone from the night stand to tell Nick to take his stupid ass back home.
But there wasn't anything from Nick, I had a few messages from dad another from Dom. Nick and I hadn't said a word to one other since yesterday. The only other person I could assume it was, was Jake but he knew better than to show up unannounced. Frowning I carefully pulled out of Angie's hold and climbed out of bed. As the doorbell rang for a sixth time I headed over to my dresser and pulled out a pair of sweatpants and slipped them on. Before leaving the room I powered on the tv and as the camera angles filled the screen a anger flooded through me. It was two people at the door, a woman and a man, they were conveniently facing away from the camera. Glancing at Angie I stayed silent, she knew exactly the kind of life I lived but I refused to scare her. So I grabbed the glock off the nightstand and swiftly headed out of the room and silently closed the door behind me. Without making a sound I headed down the hallway then down the steps. As I grew close to the door voices could be heard, the man sounded young and from the tone in his voice he was growing impatient. While the woman was definitely older with a accent that only be compared to New Jersey. Keeping the glock out of sight I swiftly unlocked the door and opened it enough that my face could be seen. The bright sun light was blinding and my eyes became slits as I stared back at the unfamiliar faces. The guy was definitely around my age and a defensive look came over his face as he met my gaze. But as the women spun around her eyes widened and a wide smile across her face.
"Who are you?" I spat
Her smile faltered. " You've gotten so tall, and so handsome"
" Okay.. I'm closing the door, I don't know how you got this address but don't come back here" impatiently I stepped back and began closing the door.
" Kaleb!"
I stopped and swung the door back open letting the steel in my hand be seen.
"How do you know my name? Who the hell are you?"
The women's shoulders sagged defeatedly as she let out a bitter chuckle. " I know it's been a long time but I can't look that much different "
The guy covered his mouth as he chuckled but immediately stopped as the woman casted a threatening look his way.
He shrugged. " It has been over ten years"
Sighing the woman shook her head at him before returning her gaze to me.
" Look at me Kaleb, look in my eyes" she assured eagerly. " You know me"
As much as I didn't want to, something about this woman possessed me to do it. Not even a minute passed and the realization struck like lightning. I was completely dumbfounded.
" Mom?"
Her smile returned as her eyes began to glisten.
" Your father wanted to have a whole meeting thing about this but I felt like this was the more genuine approach"
" A meeting? You mean a sit down? About what? Are you getting back together?"
Her eyes widened in protest. " Oh God no"
" Then about what? Why are you really here?"
Hesitantly she looked over at the guy. " There's a lot you don't know when it comes to me and Leon. But I wanted you two to meet each other before it was too late "
A eyebrow rose as I gazed back at the guy.
" Okay?"
With a quivering smile she looked between the two of us.
" Kaleb, I want you to meet your brother Ellis"
Then the air around me grew still at her words and the only thing I could hear was the sound of my own heart. I couldn't think of a single thing to say and as I stared back at the face of my brother he grinned.
" What's up bro"
__________________________
Yes .. yes... Yes