Warning : Contains self harming
A twelve years old girl was standing near the mirror while looking at herself, her eyes swollen and looking red, she sadly smiled at he girl who was in the mirror
Her gaze dropped down to her hands which was holding a sharp blade, she slowly lifted her top, where she could see a fresh marks of wound made by the blade, she bought her hands near her body and just stopped below her ribs
' You are nothing but worthless '
' I wish I never had a sister '
' Why are you still living ? Why don't you die ? '
' Don't ever come before me, I don't want to see your pathetic face '
Her mind was filled with these words, each words was like a painful death, those words are making her hard to breathe
Fresh blood was coming out of her wound, but she didn't care nor see that, she continued to harm herself with the blade , it was painful to her but when she think about those words her pain turns into pleasure
Amaya woke with jerk, tears were rolling down on her cheeks, her forehead was filled with sweat, her breathe became uneven, she quickly got hold of her bag, she started to find the pills, with a shivering hands she took the bottle of pills, she quickly took two pills from the bottle and gulped down with water
Slowly her breathing became normal, she wiped the sweat from her forehead, she mentally noted to call her psychiatrist, It's been so long since she got her nightmares, now it started again
She looked at her surroundings and clothes, she found herself in the living room, sitting on the couch with her white coat, she realised that she slept without her knowledge because of her tiredness
She looked at the clock which showed it is half past twelve, Suddenly her stomach growled in hunger making to remember that she hadn't ate anything from the afternoon, she got up from the couch and made her way towards the kitchen, she opened the kitchen cabinet and took instant noodles, and started to boil the water in kittle.
She turned towards the living hall as she heard some sound more like someone opening the door, she slowly went to the living room, fear engulfed her when she thought ' What if the person other side of the door is burglar ? ' , then she shrugged of the thought as she knows, the place where she is living is a highly secured place, and it's not easy to get in
When the door opened she stilled, their gazes met, they both stared at each other, her heart was beating fast, she couldn't help but stare at him
It's been one month since their argument, ever since that they didn't meet eat other properly, as he use to go to office before she wakes and come backs very late, it's like he is ignoring her, and she is well aware of it
" Hey... " she smiled at him which he returned with hesitation
He looked tired, he was like he didn't had a good sleep for days, her eyes filled with concern.
She thought the feelings she had for him would fade away eventually but she was wrong. In this one month the feelings she had for him grew deeper, She doesn't know how and why but one thing she is sure that the more she fall for him the more she will regret, she looked at him as he walked past her to his room with hurry, in his way he hit his toe on the furniture, he hissed in pain, she quickly moved towards him, held his shoulder and brought him to the sit on the stool which was near the kitchen counter
" Are you alright ? " She asked him with concern, he looked at her straight in her eyes and nodded, then he looked at her hand which is on his shoulder she noticed his gaze and him, he looked uncomfortable, she quickly removed her hand from his shoulder, she felt hurt, In this one month they met each other a very few times, it's because he tries to ignore her as much as he could
It's not like he is uncomfortable around her, it's just he feel to guilty to even look at her
" Do you need any ointment ? " she asked looking at him, he shook his head and tried to get up but she stopped him
" You don't need to go, I will leave from here "
She was about to leave from there but before she could take a step he held her hand, she looked at him, he left her hand quickly
" Amaya..." he called her hastily
" I am sorry. "
" For what ? " she asked
" For everything "
" Aadit.. " she called him a low tone more like a whisper
" What happened between us is not your fault alone, I am at fault too "
" I- he opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out
" I don't know what to say nor what to do " he finally spoke
" Sit with me " he said
" What ? "
" I said sit with me " she sat on the stool that's on other side of the kitchen counter
Minutes passed none of the people spoke, only the sound of clock ticking and stove, suddenly the kittle made a sound indicated that the noodles is ready, that broken the awkward silence, she got up from her place and came back with the bowl of noodles and kept it on the table and sat on the stool, then again the awkward silence continued, that's when Aadit decided to break
" So, you just came now ? " He asked
" No, I came here a long ago but I slept without my knowledge " she said
" Ohh, That explains your dress " he said, she gave a small smile trying to not make it awkward in an already awkward situation, she looked at the noodles
" Want some ? " She asked
" No, no I am not hungry not I am leaving now " he said but at the same time his stomach growled making her chuckle, he pressed his lips in thin line while looking embarassed.
" Wait! " she said and took a another spoon for him and handed him the spoon and pushed the bowl towards him, he digged the spoon into the noddles and took a spoon full of noddles, his pupils widened a little by suprise of the noddles
" This noddles taste different " he state
" Do you like it ? " She asked, he looked at her then nodded and went back to bowl
" It doesn't taste like normal instant noodles, did you add something ? " He asked while stuffing his mouth with noodles, she chuckled looking at his face as he looked like a hungry kid who got something after a long search of food,
" Yes " she nodded her head
" What are you Amaya ? " He asked her, she looked surprised
" You don't know ?, You don't know anything about me ? Not even my profession " she asked
" I am really sorry if you got offended, you know how our marriage is " he tried to explain by looking at her suprised face
" Fuck it, I messed up, you are such a fool Aadit " he muttered to himself but unfortunately she heard it, he was suprised when he heard her laughing, she laughed as she couldn't control her laugh and couldn't able pretend to be offended by looking at him
He noticed that it's the first time he see her laughing or being happy not pretending, her laugh was the most adorable thing he beheld
" Are you making fun of me ? " He asked in a disbelief tone
" I am sorry, I was kidding back then and your expressions were so funny "
" What ? "
" Opps, I am sorry "
" Really, You are sorry ? But you didn't sound like your are really sorry " he said hiding his smile
" I am really sorry " she said while pinching her throat to look like she is serious, he chuckled looking at her, eventually they both smiled at each other
She couldn't believe that a one bowl of noodles made them talk like a lost long friends and she couldn't even remember when was last time she smiled like this, she felt so good and peace after a long time and that's because of him