As I was waiting I couldn't actually believe that I'm having friends. Like, good friends. I can't believe that they accepted me and we clicked in the second.
I really appreciate it and I'm just- so happy about it. Although, I hate myself for having thoughts that are : maybe they are just joking
maybe they'll just make fun of you
you don't deserve them
your disgusting
Etc.
I hate that I can't be happy for a second. I ALWAYS need to have bad thoughts and flashbacks. I hate it I hate it I hate it. I'm so sick of it.
I heared car horn and I look at it and I see Ria with smile on her face and waving out of the window
I ran to the car and got in
Ria turned around and hugged me
"Hey babe!!" She said and James also said hi to me
"I'm sorry your sitting besides him but we'll pick up Mason now so he will sit in the middle" she said and explain and I only smiled
I can't believe that on this earth is actually existing angel like her. She's full of understanding and just has that - good vibe.
"It's okay I don't mind really." I said and James speed up that car like shaked idk how to explain it, but like the car went back and then forth with speed
My body hit the seat and I cursed myself for not buckling up
"James, dude don't do that she wasn't buckled up." Kayden said, what "And anyway, why didn't you buckled yourself up? You can't just get in the car and not buckle up yourself" he said and then he buckled me up
"Sorry" I whispered. Good job Anastasia, you just need to cause more problems don't you? What the fuck is wrong with you?
Ria was yelling at James but this time he didn't laugh, he actually apologized and was sorry
The car was quite after that and I could feel the tension. I am actually sorry. What the fuck am I doing?
"Okay anyways. How have you been Stas? Were you- are you okay?" Ria asked as she turned to see me and gave James look to not drive fast
"Em yea-yeah. I was and I am okay, thank you for askinggg!! Why?" I asked and she shrugged
"Idk it's just that- okay I'll tell you." She sighed and looked at Kayden and then looked at me in the second, like she didn't want to change her mind
"The day you went out of doctors- those people that were showing you into the car- I was worried and we asked doctor for your address..." She stoped and I didn't said anything, continue?
"Um then me and Kayden- beacuse he suddenly appeared- drived off to your house and your- mom? Didn't let us in when we said we needed you. It's just- if you are in danger you would tell me .. right?" She said and asked
Oh god oh god oh god.
Oh. God.
They know where I'm living. They saw her. She knows I have friends that know where I live.
Somebody will laugh at me if they can read my mind and my thoughts but I will -and I kind of did- get in danger. My parents will think I will tell my friends everything and that I will ask for help and disappear.
I mean, I want to do that. For sure. But they will burn me. And I'm not even joking.
Flashback few years earlier
I thought my parents will come at eleven o'clock, but they're already here. My friends left when my parents came. And it's only nine.
"Who the fuck were those people?"
"Don't tell us you have friends"
"I think she's just becoming bigger slut" my dad and mom yelled at me
Soon, they started hitting me.
Yelling
Hitting
Cursing
Yelling
Hitting
Cursing
Yelling
Hitting
Hitting
Yelling
Hitting
Cursing
Until, I was in the car and dad was driving like crazy.
"Don't you fucking dare to try and do something! " Mom yelled at me beacuse she saw that I'm doing sign for help
"DRIVE FASTER!" she yelled at dad and after 45 minutes, we were Infront my worse nightmare
We are in this- this house in the forest and it's fucking creepy. It's only thing in this fucking creepy forest.
And the things I will go through in this house, will be even scarier. I don't even want to think about it.
And other thing that is making me feel numb, is that nobody is here and nobody can help me. No matter how hard I scream.
"PLEASE! PLEASE DON'T! PLEASED DON'T DO ANYTHING! PLEASE-PLEASE LETS GO HO-HOME PLEASE! I WILL LISTEN PLEASE PLEASE I WILL BE NICE AND I-I - I'LL LISTEN! PLEASE! PLEASE DON'T PLEASE DON'T! DON'T! DON'T!"
I screamed at them as they were showing me out of the car and in house
"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! YOUR FUCKING WHORE SHUT UP! YOU DON'T DESERVE ANYONE, ANYTHING! YOU WILL BE DEAD TONIGHT! DEAD!SHUT UP!" dad screamed at me as they slapped me and kicked me in the stomach
"GO GET THE THINGS! I WILL HOLD HER! GO!" dad yelled to mom as she hurried to the car
I was trying to escape his dirty fucking hold but I couldn't. Tears and screames were escaping out of my soul
"PLEASE DON'T DO IT! PLEASE DON'T DO IT! PLEASE!" I tried to yell even louder and I tried to kick him in the balls but he pushed me so I could fall
He got on me and started beating me
"Stop it! Let's go in!" Mom yelled and he spat at me. Ew ew ew ew Ew. Disgusting. I think I will actually trow up.
They pushed me in the house. I was laying on the floor with tears in my eyes and screams escaping my lungs
They started beating me even worse. With some stuff even. They kicked me with a stick / staff
"Get up! Get up!" They yelled after some time and I cried. I don't want this. I don't want it.
We were now behind the house where mom put something similar to rope that was hung on a tree .. Oh my fucking shit. So is this how I will die?
Last time I was here I was ten. They didn't do this. What the fuck.
Okay actually. I'll escape now. I will become an angel. I will be dead.
"Tie her up!" Dad yelled and mom tied my arms around the three and putting some fucking things you see in jail around my legs
( I just have this picture, I forgot how it is called😭)
She changed my joggers into some shorts before she did it tho. I'm so fucking scared right now. What the fuck are they doing.
They started burning and I mean BURNING some parts of me as I screamed and cried, I tried to get off the tree but I couldn't
I couldn't
"PLEASE STOP! STOP! AA! STOP!" I screamed and screamed, from the pain
They didn't said anything, they were enjoying doing this. They laughed as I was screaming and crying
They showed some fucking disgusting T-SHIRT in my mouth and I almost gagged few times, until I actually did-
End of the flashback.
"Are you deaf? Move" someone said and fucking God I got scared
I can tell I started to shake and I looked around and I only saw Briana,James and Kayden. Mason was at my left trying to get in the car I guess.
He can sit besides me, what's the problem?
"Get out of the car-" I only heard that and I got out as fast as possible
That person isn't my dad.
Not my dad. Not dad. Not dad. It's okay.
I wanted to say that to myself but I can't hear anything. Except the blaming in my head
I started walking away from the car, I couldn't see where I am going.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
Why am I like this. I could just move, why do I zone out too often
Hello guys!! Please pleaseee recommend me some summer wattpad books to read, that are completed, beacuse I'm dyingggg here!
I also started writing one summer book and I hope I don't lose motivation for it(like I did for my many drafts). I also started writing it beacuse I CAN'T FIND ANY SUMMER BOOK!
I want to buy some of my tbr but it's so hot outside omg and also, the biggest bookstore here doesn't have them! Because they're not in stock...
So yeah, please recommend me some I'm dying!