For the next week, you avoid Sunwoo like the plague. Once you realized that your distraction attempt did absolutely nothing to squash your apparent growing feelings for the man, you could've cried. Ever since your revelation, you've been thinking about him non-stop and nearly driving yourself crazy. It's like he carved out a little space in your brain and made himself at home. His scent is permanently etched into your nose, and those stupid pouty lips are engraved in your mind.
You were terrified to see him the next morning after you pleasured yourself to thoughts of him. He had opened his mouth to say something to you, but you were out the door before he could get more than a couple of syllables out. The thought that he could've heard you and was going to tease you made you want to disappear quicker than ice cream on a scorching hot day. However, to say you didn't touch yourself again would be a bold-faced lie. You just made sure you were quieter than the first time.
You have no idea what you're going to do about your situation. You can't keep running and hiding from him forever. He'll eventually call you out on it, but also… you just didn't want to anymore. A huge part of you wants to get caught. You want to come clean and tell him your thoughts and feelings, but you already know he doesn't feel the same. He's a flirt, and he's already told one person that he doesn't want a relationship right now.
A sigh of frustration is ripped out of you as you approach the apartment. You eye the building like it's going to give you some clue about what to expect when you walk into your home. Will Sunwoo be there? Is he going to attempt to talk to you for the 20th time? Will he ask you why you've been so skittish lately?
You attempt to collect yourself as you reach your apartment door and unlock it. Everything is fine. Everything is cool. If Sunwoo is home, maybe it's time you finally face the music. Maybe the two of you can sit down and talk…figure out if there's something between you or not.
Releasing the breath you didn't realize you were holding, you push open the door, only to be greeted with one of the last sights you wanted to see.
Minjee is here.
You stare blankly at the two figures on the couch. Minjee is pressed up against Sunwoo with her arms wrapped around one of his. One of her hands rests on top of his muscular thigh, and she is looking up at him adoringly until she realizes they're no longer alone. You don't even notice you're digging your nails into your palms until you feel the stinging pain that alerts you to how tight your fists are clenched. Forcing yourself to relax, you keep the blank expression on your face as you shut the apartment door, but it does nothing to stop the pain you feel in your chest.
Disappointment fills you, but you should've expected this. You knew about his complicated relationship with Minjee. You also knew he wasn't interested in you as more than a friend. Every sign pointed to it going this way. Yet you allowed yourself to hope for a different outcome, anyways.
Sunwoo's face brightens when he sees you. A twinkle enters his eyes, and his lips stretch over his teeth in a wide smile, wiping away the previous dull look that rested there. However, you refuse to let that smile do anything for you. It feels like any forward progress you made disappeared the second Minjee showed back up.
"Hey! You're finally home!" Sunwoo quickly attempts to pull you into a conversation. His eager tone should please you, but you can't get past the image of them being together. You mumble a "yeah", not willing to offer him much more. That doesn't mean he gives up, though.
"Come hang out with us!" He tries again.
Minjee's glare warms up your skin, and you know in her head, she's throwing insult after insult at you. She's probably getting ready to curse the gods if you agree to join whatever it is they're doing. Luckily for her, you have absolutely zero desire to hang out with the two of them.
"No, thanks," you quickly decline. What you miss is Sunwoo's expression falling from his face. You miss the way he so obviously wants you to join them and maybe even save him from the girl latched onto his arm.
You force your feet to move past them, hastily dropping your bag by your bedroom door and going straight to the kitchen. You begin to rifle through the cupboards in search of snacks but keep coming up empty. You realize your eyes aren't really seeing anything, or maybe it's just that your brain isn't computing anything at the moment. It's too busy doing somersaults inside your skull.
Footsteps penetrate the brain fog in your mind, and you glance over as Minjee enters the kitchen. Attempting to not roll your eyes out of your head, you look back into the cupboard to see that your snacks are directly in front of your face. You grab the bag and shut the cupboard as Minjee comes to a stop in front of you.
You stare at her as she smugly looks you over, and you immediately feel all of your energy seep from your body. "Whatever it is, Minjee, I don't want to hear it."
"I know you like him."
Against your will, you freeze in place. You attempt to keep your face neutral, but the task is becoming increasingly harder. "What are you talking about?"
"Don't play dumb with me. It's not cute," she snobbishly says, her perfectly manicured brows scrunching in irritation. "I know you like Sunwoo."
She seems so confident in your feelings that you see no point in trying to deny them. That doesn't mean you're going to confirm anything for her either. Making a move to walk away, you turn and throw a "whatever" over your shoulder.
A tight grip latches onto your arm, and you have to keep yourself from stumbling as she yanks you back around, forcing you to look at her. A sneer sits on her face, but it's nothing compared to the anger simmering inside of you. Just when you think you can no longer be surprised by her audacity, she goes and ups it a level.
"No, it's not whatever because he's mine," she grinds out. "So, stop acting innocent and thinking you're all special because you'll never have a chance with him."
"First of all," you start while grabbing her wrist and ripping her hand off of you. "Don't you ever touch me again. Secondly, he's not yours, so quit acting like you have a claim on him. You're nothing more than a fucktoy to him and everyone else."
Her beautiful features twist with rage at your words, but it's the smile that the anger melts into that scares you. She leans in close to you, and you can hear the smugness in her voice as she says, "At least, he'll actually fuck me. You're just his pathetic, boring roommate."
When she moves away from you, she reaches across the counter and snatches the bag of chips you grabbed. She shoots you a snide smile before she walks away from you and back toward Sunwoo in the living room.
You stand motionless in the kitchen as her words reverberate in your head. You try not to let them affect you, but of course, they do. It's like she knew exactly which nerves to touch. You might have taken a shot when you called her a fucktoy, but she certainly won the battle when she pointed out that Sunwoo would at least look at her that way.
Feeling even worse about yourself than you previously did, you slink off into your bedroom to lick the wounds Minjee verbally gave you. Why you let her stupid opinion mean anything to you is beyond your comprehension. Maybe it's because you feel there's truth to her words. At least some of them. You're sure of one thing, though: she's not going to get the relationship she so desperately wants from Sunwoo.
For the next hour or so, you occupy your time with homework and whatever other random crap you can come up with. It barely helps distract you, especially when your brain reminds you that Sunwoo and Minjee are right on the other side of your door. You try to bury the thought somewhere deep inside, but it comes back front and center when you realize you need to go to the bathroom.
Rolling your eyes, you prepare yourself to see Sunwoo and Minjee wrapped up in each other, her hands probably draped all over him. However, when you open your door, you're surprised to see the living room empty. You glance around the room before peeking into the kitchen and coming up short. You stand quiet for a minute, wondering if they left when the low murmur of Sunwoo's voice reaches your ears.
Ah, his bedroom. Of course. Where the hell else would they be? She's probably in there right now trying to talk her way into sleeping with him - seducing him to get what she wants. Yet, is it really a seduction when Sunwoo's already slept with her countless times?
A small bit of shame fills you. That's not really fair to Sunwoo. He hasn't slept with her or anyone else - as far as you're aware - in weeks. He seems like he's maturing a bit, and you won't take that away from him. You know you're just hurt by what's taking place right now. A part of you is wishing it was you in there with him instead.
After your heart feels like it's no longer being squeezed tightly in your chest and a quick trip to the bathroom, you accept your fate and go back to your room. You waste no time digging your headphones out and shoving them into your ears. The absolute last fucking thing you want to hear is Minjee and Sunwoo having sex. You already didn't want to hear it when you considered Sunwoo just a roommate, but now that you've acknowledged your feelings for him? You can name a thousand other ways you'd rather be tortured. Waterboarding, for example.
One thing you notice as each song on your playlist finishes is the silence from the room next to yours. Any other time their lewd and obscene noises would breach your eardrums in those couple seconds of silence. This time, however, only quietness greets you. Your heart starts to beat erratically in your chest. This means one of two things. Either they went to sleep instead of doing anything, or Sunwoo learned how thin the walls are and kept it quiet.
The ramifications behind that second option are not ones you're fully prepared to process yet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When you wake up the next morning, the apartment is quiet. You take your time getting up and moving around, dreading the idea of possibly seeing Minjee first thing in the morning. You didn't have any plans for the day, which means unless you find a reason to escape your own apartment - which is really annoying - you don't have a reason to leave. Hopefully, Minjee doesn't plan on staying here all day, or else you'll kick both her and Sunwoo out.
Taking a chance, you slowly open your bedroom door to check on the affairs of the apartment and nearly jump out of your skin when you find Sunwoo silently sitting on the couch. Your startled gasp notifies him of your presence, and he looks up at you.
His sleepy features look at you softly, and you mentally smack yourself when you feel your heart thump. Hello? Heart? He just had another girl in his room last night! Get it together! You offer him a nod and turn to move toward the bathroom, but Sunwoo's words have you stopping in your tracks.
"I asked her to leave last night."
Your head whips toward Sunwoo, and you find nothing but an open and honest expression on his face. Your lips part as your eyes search his features. There's something… different about him. He's more solemn than you've ever seen him and it kind of takes your breath away. Why is he telling you this?
"Oh?" You question, saying the only thing that comes to mind.
"Mhmm," he hums as he stands up from the couch. "I told her to leave and never come back."
Any moisture in your mouth and throat dissipates. Your eyes are wide as the two of you stare at each other unblinkingly. You, just outside of your bedroom door, and Sunwoo, still in front of the couch. Something big is happening here, you can feel it in your gut, but your mind is processing it slowly.
"Oh?" You repeat like every other word has escaped your vocabulary.
Amusement sparks in his eyes as he nods at you. "I told her not to contact me anymore and that whatever was between us is over."
Your voice comes out in a breathless whisper when you ask, "Why?"
A wide range of emotions hits you as you wait for his answer. Surprise, confusion, happiness, apprehension. So many feelings battle for dominance that it mostly leaves you feeling stunned.
"Well, I've been thinking about it for a while," he says as he closes some of the distance between the two of you. "I didn't want a relationship with her, and it was time to get on with my life... Also… I overheard what she said to you in the kitchen."
If the floor could've swallowed you whole, you'd thank it. Panic begins to rear its ugly head as you replay the conversation the two of you had. Minjee saying you liked Sunwoo and that you'll never have a chance with him. You calling her a fucktoy, and then her throwing it right back in your face.
"It really pissed me the fuck off," his hard words shake you from your thoughts. "You've been nothing but nice to me. You let me stay with you when no one else would, and you kept any judgment you felt to yourself… for the most part."
He smirks at the end, but you're so wrapped up in what he's saying, you can't bring yourself to offer one back.
"You don't deserve to be talked to that way, and now you no longer have to worry about her being in your home. I'm sorry for allowing her to come here in the first place."
The shame on his face has you immediately saying, "Sunwoo, nothing she did is your fault. You don't have to apologize."
He shakes his head. "You deserve an apology, and I think we both know you're not getting one from her."
You can feel your heart beating wildly in your chest as you process everything taking place. He told her to leave and never contact him again? That would explain why it was so quiet last night. It wasn't that they were asleep. It was because Minjee wasn't even here. Happiness begins to flood through your veins. He said it's time to get on with his life? Does that mean he's through with random hookups?
Besides happiness is pure embarrassment. You're embarrassed that he overheard the conversation. That he heard the words Minjee threw at you. The secrets that you hoped would stay buried. You're just relieved that he hasn't repeated anything she said. You would truly ship yourself off to another country if you heard any of those words pass through his lips.
"That's not the only thing I have to tell you…"
Something about the tone in his voice has you pushing Minjee far from your thoughts. He's quiet like he's afraid of what's going to happen next - of your reaction. You meet his gaze, looking for clues of what he's going to say, but you haven't the faintest idea.
"I found an apartment…" He starts. "I'm just waiting for the checks to go through."