Surprising Emma with a passionate kiss would forever be one of my favorite things to do. I assumed she hadn't been home long, until I barged in, interrupted her movie and slammed my lips against hers.
"What is, uh, what's up?" Emma asked as she turned off the TV. I dropped myself next to her on the couch and scooted closer, while she wrapped an arm around me.
"I'm just happy," I replied. For once, everything was right. Robin and I had finalized our divorce a week ago and I'd purchased the white mansion. I'd been living with Emma for quite some time and that was just an added bonus. But tomorrow, finally, the last packages and trucks would drive to finish the move. "Tomorrow, I can finally officially move into my own home. My new bed is to arrive in the morning. I'm very excited."
Emma didn't meet my enthusiasm. In fact, she stayed silent and played with the remote control. It would be strange to move away from her, but I found it hard being too upset about it, because the idea of actually living in my new home could vanish all nagging negative feelings.
"You could help decorating my bedroom, tomorrow. Help me try out the new furniture," I said, trying to sound seductive, but Emma moved her arm away from me and turned on the TV.
"Got work," she responded curtly and though I was certain she was trying not to show it, it was obvious something was bothering her. I moved my lips to her cheek and kissed it ever so lightly.
"What's wrong?" I asked softly as I trailed my lips to her earlobe. She moved her head away and scooted closer to the armrest of the couch, as she muttered: "nothing".
"Emma.." I tried, and put my hand on her thigh, but there was no reaching her, because she moved my hand away as well. "Did I do something wrong?"
She looked at me and showed me a faint smile while shaking her head slightly. "No," she replied and she sounded genuine. "I'm just going to miss you."
I refused to believe that was why she was acting so distantly, but I didn't want to press and I figured she'd tell me eventually if it concerned me in any way.
"I'm going to miss you, too," I said, as Emma turned her head back to the TV.
"Are you?"
My eyebrows rose as I looked at her side profile. Her eyes were still glued to the screen, though I doubted she was really watching whatever was on there. Normally, I wouldn't have found it weird if she'd asked for confirmation of my feelings, but her tone was off. As if she hadn't expected it, as if she mocked me.
"Of course. Do you not know how much I enjoyed living here with you? You know I'll be forever grateful," I said and Emma met my gaze, briefly.
"You're awfully happy to go, though."
I hoped she was joking. It had to be a joke, but her expression gave away that she was dead serious. She knew from the beginning I was going to move away and what was I supposed to do? Be unhappy about that? I wanted to live alone for the first time in my life without being attached to anyone. It didn't have anything to do with Emma, it had everything to do with myself. I wanted to work on myself. In my own home.
"Well, yes, naturally. I'm glad my home's finally ready. That doesn't mean I didn't like staying here with you. Wouldn't it be worse if I was all upset to be moving to my own home?" I asked carefully and Emma nodded.
"I've just had the feeling that you've been looking forward to leaving my place for the past weeks," Emma said with a shrug.
"No, I've been looking forward to living independently for once in my life. That's got nothing to do with you. You don't have to get angry, we'll still hang out a lot."
"I'm not angry," Emma said, and though it was true, I was sure it wouldn't be long until either of us snapped. The tension was rising, because I felt Emma was hiding even more and I knew it was about to burst out. "And I know we'll still hang out, but I'm going to miss waking up next to you, I'm going to miss having dinner with you, I'm going to miss you coming home here, but apparently, that's very weird. So, never mind I said that all." Her tone was sharp and I swallowed thickly.
I couldn't quite believe what she was saying. I felt the same way as well, but she started painting me as the villain, simply for trying to enjoy life, even if I'm not living with her.
"I've never said it was weird, I've also never said I didn't feel the same way. You're being very unreasonable right now," I snapped, getting tired of her not even turning to me to hold a proper conversation.
"I know I am," she said, I hoped harsher than she intended, because there was no way for her to be using such a tone. She flicked her eyes towards me and turned the volume of the TV louder. "Love sometimes makes people unreasonable, deal with it."
I felt my chest tighten, because there was no way she'd just said that. I took the remote from her hands, turned off the TV and looked at her. She'd yet again averted her eyes, but I saw her peeking at me out of the corner of her eyes.
"What?"
It stayed painfully silent, but Emma did turn to me. For real, this time. She touched my hand gently with her fingertips and though my first thought was to move away, I appreciated the soft gesture too much.
"I'm starting to fall in love with you," she confessed, and this time I was the one who turned away, shaking my head.
"No, no, Emma," I said, and glanced at her. "No, not.. no," I muttered and retracted my hand, which had suddenly become way too sweaty, to rub it on my lap.
Emma stood up, abruptly, and hastily walked away. "Okay," she mumbled, before she grabbed the doorknob.
"No, Emma, wait, I didn't mean.." there was no point in finishing the sentence, because she'd already left the apartment. I couldn't say I wouldn't have done the same thing.
My legs were starting to tremble, because I slowly realized I'd just made a huge mistake. I wanted to follow her, but I had no idea what I was going to say. No one had ever told me they loved me like she'd just done and I was not ready for it. Not in the slightest, but I should've handled it better.
~~~~~
My nails tapped rapidly against my mug, trying to release some nerves, but it only got me worked up more. My parents had never been ones to take it slow with criticism, and I wondered what they had to say about my house.
Cora was looked at the ceiling as she wandered around my kitchen. Henry had apparently given up on checking and was enjoying his coffee.
"It's gorgeous, Regina. There are a few things I'd get checked out, like this, over here.." Cora pointed at a crack in the wallpaper and I admitted she was right.
"Yes, I already noticed that," I replied, though I hadn't but glanced at it and figured no one would notice. I sipped my tea and waited for my mother to finally sit down and enjoy her beverage as well.
"You really did a great purchase. It's totally you. And you look very happy here," she said. And she was right. I'd only been living here for three days, but it felt like my home already. Unpacking boxes and rearranging all the rooms took my mind off my issues with Emma.
She wasn't responding to any of my calls or texts. The night she'd confessed her feelings to me, she hadn't returned home and if it hadn't been for me seeing her yellow bug drive around town earlier today, I'd have figured she was dead.
"I'm very content with it. Next Friday, I'm holding a house warming party for my friends," I said excitedly, though I knew I still had loads of boxes to unpack before then. It'd be a challenge, but I'd decided the living room and hallway were the only places that really needed to be ready. No one cared about the rest.
"I bet they'll be so jealous of you. It's wonderful. Don't you think you'll get a bit lonely in this big house, though?"
Emma had worried about that as well and if I hadn't felt this much at home, maybe she'd been right. I just couldn't imagine living anywhere else now and I didn't need anyone to share this place with. I would have liked for Emma to see it, though.
"You sound just like Emma," I said, "and you're both wrong. I haven't felt lonely for a second since I got here and I don't imagine doing so in the future."
"I hope so," my dad chimed in with a sweet smile. "How are things between you and Emma?"
I shrugged and sighed softly. There was not a bone in my body that wanted to discuss my love life with my parents, but even after I'd ranted to Ruby about everything, I still felt the need to complain about it to someone.
"She told me she loved me and I just said "no"," I said, softly. "I haven't seen her since, so it's not really going well, no."
"Do you miss her?"
"It's only been three days, not a decade."
"Still." My dad cocked his head and I shrugged, before I offered him a curt nod.
"I suppose. We spent the last weeks constantly together and now she won't even respond to my texts. So, yeah, that sucks, I guess." I felt horrible talking like this. I didn't know what conflicted feeling I was supposed to take seriously, so my mind had been a mess ever since Emma had stormed out of that door.
"I think it'll be alright," my mother said, after a moment of silence. I shrugged. It didn't even matter what happened, if it just got this awful feeling away from me.
~~~~
"I'm going to marry you and then murder you so that I have this house all to myself." Ruby had obviously drunk a little bit too much, but it was rather amusing. She kissed my cheek and wrapped an arm around me. "I'm so jealous, Gina."
"I'll take it as a compliment," I said with a soft chuckle and took a bite of my toast. There were quite a few people in the living room, but given the amount of space I had, it didn't seem stuffed at all.
"I did notice the unpacked boxes upstairs, though. Need any help?"
"You've been snooping around upstairs? I told you, it was off limits," I scolded, but I knew Ruby and of course I'd known beforehand she'd take a peek to see what the rooms upstairs looked like.
"Wanted to see your bedroom," she said. "Your bed's very good. You and some dude or chick will have great sex there," she added and I automatically blushed, though I had no reason to. There was no one I was interested in apart from Emma, but she'd still been ignoring my texts. I'd invited her to come tonight, but I had no reason to expect her. "Is Emma coming?"
I shook my head and realized that it actually really bothered me, the way Emma had just started to ghost me. I'd thought of going to her store or apartment, but she'd made it quite clear that she wasn't interested in talking to me, so that wouldn't be any different in person.
A few plates with food were already empty, so I excused myself to take them to the kitchen. One that made it hard not to distract me from all the work I was supposed to be doing, because the only thing I now constantly wanted to do was create new meals and recipes.
The door opened behind me. "I'm sorry, the kitchen is n.." My words just disappeared when I saw Emma, looking better than ever, standing in the doorway. It'd just been a little over a week since I'd last seen her, but she appeared different.
"Oh," I said. "I hadn't thought you'd actually come."
She stepped closer to me and shrugged. "Have you ever not made me come, Regina?" she said, with a sly smile, and though I didn't want to, I felt my cheeks heating up for the second time this evening.
"You can stop with the jokes. You ignored me for a full week, why are you suddenly here?"
"To apologize," she said. "I shouldn't have ghosted you like that, but I think you understand why I didn't want to see you for a moment."
I furrowed my eyebrows. "Quite frankly, no, I don't. You really had no right to say what you said."
"Oh, wow, sorry for expressing my feelings. You know damn well I hadn't intended to say it. I'd just blurted it out," she said, raising her voice.
"Well, what'd you think I'd respond?! I'd been divorced for like an hour. You know I said we'd work things out, but not in a rush."
"I never expected you to say it back, but I'd expected you to at least be nice about it. Not reject me in the worst way possible."
She'd come closer during our conversation and I could see she was getting upset, as was I. Heat was radiating off of her and she looked angrily at me, but still all I could think about was that pretty set of lips that was coming closer with the minute.
"It was not the worst way possible. I could've shot you, that would've been worse," I replied and stepped closer to her. "Emma, I know I should've handled it differently, but you didn't even give me a chance to mend things. I'd been divorced for a week, I couldn't have said anything better back. That's just.. not the way you do things."
"You never seemed to care much about such protocol. Need I remind you that my fingers were in your cunt while you were still "happily" married to that guy?"
"Don't use such language," was all I could say, because she was right. She sighed, evidently annoyed, and I could see she had to keep herself from rolling her eyes. "I'm going to kiss you now," I said and before I could lean in to connect our lips, Emma had slammed hers against mine, demanding dominance.
"We've both been stupid," she said, after my lips had finally tasted hers again.
"You were stupider. We could've made up like this a week ago," I muttered against her cheek and puckered my lips to place a soft kiss on her skin.
"I was embarrassed, Regina, and you hurt me. It was really shitty, the way you responded."
"I know and I'm sorry, too," I replied and grabbed her hand. "Just.. in the future, don't run away whenever things get hard. I wanted to apologize sooner, but you didn't let me."
"At least I came here tonight," she replied and I captured her lips in a soft kiss.
"Hmm, we'll see about that. Maybe I'll just tease you and leave you begging all night."
Emma chuckled and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "It's cute how you think you're in control. Touching, almost," she said and just like that, our fight had ended.