Ruth Foster
"Is he going to die?" Emily panics, "He can't die. I can't let him die, not now." I don't see why she's panicking, but it seems like her and Adonis have something going on. As he's laying there in the hospital look alike room, lifeless, she holds onto his hand. "Shit, Ruth. Is he going to die? He can't die."
"Calm her down," Orion speaks, "My brother isn't going to die. I once shot him in the chest, and sadly, he survived. If he can survive that, then he can survive a fucking bullet shot by an amateur."
"You once shot Adonis?" I raise an eyebrow at her.
"She has shot at us all," Atticus chimes in. "So much that I think It's her love language."
"I'm going to shoot you now, if you don't shut up, and explain to me how this shit happened," Orion replies, not finding Atticus funny, or amusing.
Atticus rolls his eyes before explaining, "Adonis had a meeting with Creed. I'm not sure what he's trying to smuggle, and I don't care, but all I know is that somewhere along the way, Petrova showed."
"So Creed set Adonis up." Orion concludes, "Why are we sitting here, and not shooting up his club?"
"You're not shooting up anything," I shut her down.
Atticus nods, "Creed might've not known."
I have no knowledge of someone named Creed. I haven't heard Orion speak about him, and I've never seen him. I may have heard the name once, but that's all. "Bullshit," Orion replies, "I'm going down there to get answers, believe that."
"You're not," Atticus stops her, "Not yet."
"I don't answer to you," Orion snaps back. I can tell this is hurting her, despite her trying to hide it with her need for violence. I know her better than that, I know her. She's hurt. "Don't forget who's jefe."
I place my hand on hers, attempting to calm her down. "You're not," I repeat what Atticus said to her, but instead of yelling at me like she did to him, she doesn't say a word. She eases up at my touch.
Moments pass, and no one speaks. Emily still holds Adonis's hand, whispering things to herself. I wonder what's up with that, but I don't question her. Atticus just stands there, and Orion is still upset. My hand stays on hers, letting her know I'm here, and that I'm not leaving. Her hand even squeezes mine, letting me know that she knows.
Knows that I'm here, and that I'm not letting go, not anytime soon. Till death do us part. I'm in this forever. All the pain that she feels, is now mine.
Orion speaks up, darting eyes at both Atticus, and Emily. "Leave. I want to be alone with my wife."
"I'm not leaving him," Emily responds.
Before Orion can speak, I do. "It's okay, Em."
After they both leave, she surprises me by pulling me into a soft kiss. "You keep me sane," she whispers to me, also surprisingly. "If he dies—"
Before she can continue, I chime in, "I know, baby. I know." A sibling dying is one of the worst pains anyone can feel in this dreadful world. Orion believes he won't die, but the thought that she could be wrong, and he does, kills her inside.
"I really do need to kill someone," A light chuckle escapes her, "But your lips on mine is much better feeling. I'm madly obsessed with you, Mrs.King"
I peck her lips, "As you should be, Mrs.King."
"This is disgusting, and I wish I had died," A voice speaks up, Adonis. "Seriously, what if I were dead? Were you two just going to fuck with me lying here lifeless? That's gross. I'm appalled. Disgusted."
Orion and I both turn our heads to find smiling Adonis laying in the bed, still looking lifeless, but it's better than having him not open his eyes at all. "I know you would enjoy that, you pervert," Orion laughs, and walks over to him, "You little bitch."
"You missed me, didn't you?" Adonis smiles some more, "Shit, who would've thought? Orion caring for someone other than herself. I'll be dammed."
"Never mind, go back to being dead," Orion lets out an eye roll, "Ruth can you go find them, and tell them Adonis is sadly alive." I know she's referring to Emily and Atticus, and so I nod, and leave.
I don't return back to the room.
Orion was right, there actually were much more comfortable beds in this place. As I lay in one of the Alaskan king beds from this random room in her warehouse, I can't help but let my mind wander.
After telling Atticus and Emily that Adonis was alive, I found my way here. I figured that this was much more of a family matter. Despite Emily not being family, I know she would want to stick besides him. I'm still not sure on what's going on, and I still don't question her. Now I lay here.
And think. Not about my mother, but about my father. This was his life. According to Orion, he was just like her father. Her father was horrible, and so mine must've been like him, right? I know he loved my mother, I know that because it's what she wrote. She once wrote about how they lived for each other, and were deeply in love. How can someone love someone, and yet live a double life?
I know about Orion's killings. I know she's a murderer, and that she's essentially not a good person, but I don't want to change her. I should want to, but I know I can't. Only she can change herself. I wonder if my mother tried to change my father. If she begged him to choose her first.
Or if she didn't have to. If he loved her so much that she didn't have to ask, that he'd be willing to do it. All for her. That's the kind of love I strive for.
"Hey."
Orion appears at the doorway, "Hi," I reply.
"Why are you in here?" She enters, and approaches the bed, instantly getting on it, and holding me.
I shrug slightly while her hands naturally find their way around my waist. "Your brother almost died, just thought you'd all want to be alone. Family business and all, right?" Nothing more to it.
"You do realize we're married now, right? This is your family. You are my family, and you don't ever leave me. My business, is your business. Wife."
"What's your plan?" I question.
Orion sighs, "Adonis tells us that Creed didn't know. He says that he wasn't set up, and that there's no reason to storm his club, and kill him."
"And who is this Creed?"
"Smuggler. The best." Orion answers, "Apparently Adonis needed weapons, weapons he couldn't get anywhere else, and so he went to Creed. I don't blame him. I might be boss, but these weapons he was trying to get, were way beyond my power."
I nod, "Weapons for what?"
"No reason," Orion replies, "Some people like to collect toys, games, and figures. Adonis likes to collect weapons. It's his thing. We all have one."
"What's yours?" I ask.
Orion shrugs, "Wouldn't you like to know."
"I would. Tell me. No secrets, remember." I smile at her, "It's only fair that I tell you mine in return."
"I collect memories, and make them my own."
I raise an eyebrow, "What do you mean?"
"You walk to a park, see a nice little family walking their dog. They have two kids, a son, and a daughter. The daughter holds an strawberry ice cream cone in her hand, and the son holds chocolate. The mother and father are holding hands, the father holds the mother's with his free hand, the other one holding the dog leash. They're all smiling, happy. You begin to wonder if you'll ever have that. Scared that you won't, you imagine yourself as the mother, and the father as someone you desire. In my head, I take other peoples experiences, the ones I know I can't ever have, and make them my own. It's complicated, but yeah. That's my thing." In some way, I understand her.
"But you can."
"Can what?"
"Have those experiences that you take from others. If you want it bad enough, you can have it," I answer truthfully. All I know is that if she does, then I want to be there for every single one of them.
Her hand leaves my waist, and then she gets up. I still lay, confused on what's happening. "Don't just lay there, get up," She commands, "Let's go."
"Go where?" I sit up.
"Make some memories. Not from other people, but our own. I want to make some with you." She answers my question. "You're who I desire most."
• • •
Our club. Where it all began, even when I didn't know it then. Didn't know that months later, I'd be married to an Orion, and feel everything for her.
She takes a sip of her Margarita, "Want to dance?"
"No. I don't dance." I reply honestly, "I'm quite terrible at it really, I'd step all over your feet."
"Too bad. We didn't get to dance at our wedding."
Orion drags me out to the empty dance floor. Minutes after we arrived, she had everyone leave, but ordered the music to stay on at a low volume.
"You didn't have to do that," I said to her.
Orion shrugged, "I own it. I do what I want, and I only offer the best to my wife. I want you alone."
She bought the club. "I'm telling you, I suck."
"Too bad," She repeats, and snakes her hand around my waist. I throw my arms around her neck, "See, isn't dancing with your wife nice?" I nod.
"You're not too bad," I respond as we begin to sway to the tune of the song. It's still low, but enough for us both to hear it clearly, "You're full of surprises, Orion King. Who knew you could dance so well?"
"I had to learn as a child," Orion responds, "My mother was a dancer when she was younger, way before she met my father. She always said she wanted a child to take something after her. My brothers take after our father, and so do I, but I guess I wanted her apart of me too, so I dance."
"What was she like?" I find myself asking.
Orion stops dancing, "She was good, until she wasn't. It's hard to explain, but let's just say that my mother never left a journal telling me about how much she loved me, and how much she cared."
I don't know why I feel guilty now. "I'm sorry."
Her hand now finds my cheek, caressing it softly. "I don't ever want you apologizing to me, ever."
"I can't help but feel bad," I reply honestly, "You really did deserve a chance at normalcy."
"So did you. Shit happens, people die. My story isn't anything that hasn't been heard before. I don't want pity, Ruth. I think if there's someone who truly deserved a shot at normalcy, it's you."
"If I had that then, I wouldn't have you now," I speak with a hushed tone, "If I had to choose between being normal, and having you, I'd choose you each time. In a heartbeat. I wouldn't even think twice about it. It's a no brainer. It's you, it's us."
"Ruth," Orion smiles, "You can't say that."
"Well, I am, and I'm not afraid to admit it."
Orion leans in, and presses her lips on mine. A feeling I can never get tired of, her lips on mine. "Listen to me carefully," She whispers, "It's you before me. Always choose yourself before choosing me, because I know for a fact that to me, it's always you first. If anything happens, I choose you."
"And I choose you," I press a soft kiss on her lips, "I choose you, Orion. Something tells me that you haven't had anyone who cared about you like this, but now you do. You can't change my mind."
I choose her. I choose us. Us over it all, just like we promised in the cabin. Us for now, us for life.
Till death do us part.
I'm not the same person I was when we met. I'm different now, she's made me different. "You're such a pain in my ass." A smile plays on her lips.
"You love it," I smile back.
She nods, her smile still there. "Yeah, I do."
After our dancing in the club, Amiri drove us home. I was excited to go back, mainly because I knew that Orion wasn't going to let me sleep alone, which meant I could lay in the comfort of her bed, in her arms. We're married now, which is starting to make me feel like I'm entitled to her. I like it.
But as soon as we get there, she goes into work mode, locking herself in her office, and leaving me alone in the comfort of her bed. I miss her, even though it's only been hours since she started.
I'm slowly starting to feel myself drift off into a peaceful sleep, and my eyes close. They immediately snap open once I feel the bed dip, and her get in after, "Your highness, you're back. It's nice of you to grace me with your presence."
"Stop being a smartass. I have something for you," Her words cure my crankiness real quick. I smile, and turn so I'm facing her, "Close your eyes."
I do as she says, closing them. "Open." I open them again to find her holding up a journal, "I forgot to give you your wedding gift at the cabin. Here."
I waste no time in grabbing the book from her, sitting up quickly to examine it. I trace my hands around the cover, right where her name is. Rosalie, my mother. "Orion, where'd you get this?"
"I can't take all the credit, that unfortunately goes to Rucifer. Turns out your father had a storage unit, one where he kept things. That's where the letter was found. Rucifer told me that he only found the letter, and a duffel bag of money. I went there to search the unit myself, and found this, the journal, hidden at the bottom of the duffel."
I feel tears sting my eyes, "I can't. Not now."
"Hey, this is a good thing." Her words soft, and comforting. "But if you can't read it now, I'll hold onto it for you, alright? Don't cry." Now I feel bad. This was supposed to be a gift, something I should've been happy about, but I ruined it.
I hesitantly hand her back the journal. "I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize to me," Her voice still soft, caring, and true, "I understand you. Never apologize to me for having feelings, okay? I don't want that. I want you to feel safe with me, I want you to never feel like it's your fault for feeling the way that you feel."
How is this the same woman who told me that she wanted me to be dead? Now all she seems to care about is me, and my well-being. "Okay," I respond back, and immediately lay back down next to her. Her hands find my waist, and mine find her hair.
Safe. That's what she wants me to be, and that's what I am, only with her. "I'm glad we're married," My confession comes out hushed, but genuine. I couldn't be more glad to call her my wife, and spend this time with her. I shouldn't want to, but I desperately do. I can't remember the last time I felt this secure, not in life, and not in any relationship.
Somewhere along the way of me hating Orion, I started to feel for her. Maybe it was the way she only slept when I was besides her, or the way it was obvious that she didn't want no one else to hurt me, but all I know, is that I don't regret it one bit.