Saudade (n.) A deep melancholic longing for something or someone, often accompanied with a denied truth that what one longs for will never come back.
Nicolo's POV
"So... you're telling me that my sister shot three people? Including Romano?" he asked stupidly, simply repeating the words that left my mouth a few seconds ago.
"Yes, that is what I said," I sighed impatiently.
I was becoming fed up with the conversation that I was having with Alexander as I thought it would be a good way to pass time, but I was greatly mistaken. I had told him about what happened with Arabella while he was away, but his simpleminded brain could only respond by being in disbelief or shock.
"Huh..." he said as he slowly nodded his head and stared blankly into the crowd with furrowed brows, but his staggered expression soon turned into a satisfied and proud smile.
"Do you think she-" he began to ask and I immediately slammed my glass onto the counter of the bar.
"I need to answer this call," I lied as I stood up and walked away. Far away.
If he was anyone else I would have told him to fuck off the second he opened his mouth to speak, but I knew Arabella would be displeased if she found out I treated him that way.
I stared at my phone restlessly, scrolling through the messages that I had sent Arabella minutes ago but never received a response to. She should be here by now, I thought as I searched my contact list for Gabe's number.
I was tired of waiting for her. I had waited for what felt like eternity to finally taste those seductive lips, but her absence deprived me of feeling complete, I was starting to feel isolated in this room filled with people.
"Hello?" Gabe answered once he accepted my call.
"Give Arabella the phone," I said.
"She's not here," he replied.
"What do you mean?" I asked worriedly. The next words that left his mouth made me feel overwhelmed with an emotion that I have not confronted in years, it was an emotion that I bring upon others, but now fear began to settle within me and I almost felt sympathy for those who were unfortunate enough to meet me.
"She left about an hour ago."
"Are you sure about this?" I asked as I began to panic.
"Yes," he sighed out nervously.
"I need you to meet us at the hotel and make sure you aren't being followed," I said through gritted teeth before ending the call.
My distress forced my strides into a hurried pace and my eyes scanned the room swiftly for the last person that I wanted to speak to. I set my eyes on Alexander and ignored the stares of desperate women as I walked by them and pushed through people that stood in my way of finding out what the fuck happened to my Arabella.
"Call your sister," I demanded once I reached him. For a second his face displayed confusion, but he wasted no time in calling her as he suspected something was wrong.
"She's not answering," he muttered as he tried to call her again.
"Cazzo, she left the estate one hour ago; it should only take her thirty minutes to drive here," I said (Fuck).
I began to search for my men and found them sitting at a table with a tray of our purest cocaine. Their little gathering came to an end once they noticed my enraged presence approaching them.
"Che cos'è?" Manny asked (What is it).
"Arabella is missing."
"Questa cagna...nuovamente? Does she have some kind of bounty on her head that we don't know about?" Leone asked and I immediately scowled at his choice of words, but my memories fueled my anger when I was reminded of the failed deal I had mindlessly made with Cairo.
"Watch the shit that comes out of your mouth, Leone. I will not tolerate any disrespect towards her, I'll put a bullet through anyone's fucking skull if they treat her that way."
"W-what's the plan?" Manny asked with a shaky voice.
"Notify the rest of our men and meet at the hotel," I ordered before walking away.
"Nico, is everything alright?" my mother asked and my rage began to dissipate when I heard her voice.
"We are done for tonight, mamma. Start making your closing statements and tell everyone to go, we need to leave," I said.
"Are we in danger?" she asked and I looked around as we caught the attention of some worried people.
"It's about Arabella, she's missing. I will explain everything once we get in the car," I said lowly, but my patience began to thin when she remained reluctant.
"But, we still have one hour l-"
"No. Shut it down. Now," I seethed.
She stood still in shock as she frowned at me with anger in her eyes, the same anger I felt within me when she continued to ignore my demands. I immediately pulled out my gun and fired two rounds into the air. Frightened gasps erupted from our guests and the lively venue fell silent.
"If everyone could please direct their undivided attention towards my..." I began to announce and I looked at my mother whose indignation could be felt through the unnerving glare she was giving me.
"...lovely mother..." I said in hopes of easing the rage she would bring upon me later.
"...no one will die tonight," I yelled out threateningly.
"Fai in fretta," I whispered to her before stepping away (Make it quick).
I watched my men drive away while I stood beside the SUV, waiting for my mother to bring an end to this event. Moments later, people started to shuffle out of the building at an agonizingly slow pace. I checked my phone for any notifications from Arabella but it was painful to see that my messages have not been answered.
"Where is Father?" I asked once my mother finally reached the car.
"He said he would drive back home to keep an eye on the estate," she explained and I laid my foot onto the accelerator once I heard her answer. I despised my father; he is a useless man who brings nothing but misery to this family. I was contented with his absence, he wouldn't be pleased to help us find Arabella, nor would I feel the same way with him around.
"There is a fine line between love and hate, son," my mother began to say once she noticed my disgruntled expression.
"That boundary is filled with strong emotions that are difficult to discern. It will take your father some time to leave the animosity that he feels towards her."
"She's a Greek, he'll never accept her," I scoffed.
"We can only tell with time," she sighed.
"But, I could say the same for you. Do not let these strong emotions make you become impulsive, we will not find her that way," she said.
"We'll see," I muttered as I parked our car and rushed towards the entrance of the hotel.
An impetuous passion continued to overwhelm me every second Arabella continues to remain missing. There was no love, all I could feel was hatred for whatever reason was keeping us apart. The hotel was still pristine and bright as I last saw it, but only red clouded my vision.
Boisterous conversations between men and women emerged from the conference room, completely disrupting the silence in the empty halls and creating a disorderly environment that was not helpful to finding what was mine.
I forcefully pushed the doors open and saw my men and guards chatting amongst themselves. Laptops were placed along the table with papers strewn across and the projector displayed a satellite image of Sicily onto a large screen. I looked at Manny and he gave me a nod, signaling everyone was here and prepared to work.
"That's enough," I shouted, capturing the attention of everyone in the room.
"Arabella Aetos. 24 years old. Last seen driving a black Maserati," I stated as I walked towards the front of the room.
"License plate number, Tango-Lima-8-2-9-India-Foxtrot," I said slowly as I watched the woman in front of me taking notes.
"Boss, do you have a description? Any way to identify her?" one of my men asked from the back of the room.
"Pictures will be sent out to your devices," I answered and my chest twisted from a surge of anxiety when I thought about her beautiful smile.
"It has been around one hour and thirty minutes since she left the estate. We will be searching within a 241 kilometer radius," I announced while looking at the satellite image.
"Notify the police, I want security checkpoints on all major highways going northbound to Catania and westbound towards Palermo," I said while looking at my mother and she gave me a nod before turning away to do her task.
"She could be lost or taken by Romano, we need to send out units to observe his facility and the rest of you can search the nearby roads. Split the directions amongst yourself," Manny added.
"I need access to all security camera footage within the last two hours, start checking traffic lights, hotels, city centers..." I continued to list off as I stared at Gabe and the others who had access to a laptop.
"Notify me the moment you locate her, but do not pull out your weapons on her. We will not rest until she is found, è capito?" I shouted and received a collection of mumbled yesses before everyone dispersed (Is that understood).
I turned towards Alexander and found him calmly sitting in a chair as if there were no problems to be dealt with in the world. His sister was no where to be found but yet he effortlessly maintained his composure; before I could confront him he spoke out.
"I've already notified my men, they're working on it," he said as he glared at me with resentment.
"Did you say something to her?" he asked and I scoffed as I watched his calm manner begin to break, he silently struggled for self-control and his anger became more clear when he stood up from his seat.
"She was with you all night, maybe she's not here right now because you said something that upset her," he said with a raised voice and all I could do was light a cigar to keep my hands distracted from pulling out my gun.
"Listen to the words that are coming from your mouth, Alexander," I said as I let out a cloud of smoke that kept me from seeing his infuriating face.
"She was with me all night. She chose to be with me. She wanted to be with me."
"You know, I really fucking hate you," I said with scornful laughter.
"The only reason why I am letting you sit in that chair, alive , is because of her, so understand that I would never do anything to hurt Arabella," I said and watched as he walked out of the room.
Two hours have gone by since she has last made contact with us. My men continued to take over the roads of Sicily and every vehicle that reached our security checkpoints was searched thoroughly, but to my distress she was no where to be found...
...Twelve hours of desolation have brought me towards the morning of a new day, and the coffee, that was set out by my mother for my men and I, remains untouched as I had lost my appetite the moment I found out she was missing. I was beginning to lose my shit as her absence, along with the lack of sleep, has made me consider Alexander's ludicrous theory of her disappearance. She wouldn't have left without saying a word to me. She promised to come back to me...
...Twenty-one hours without Arabella and I had not noticed that the sun was beginning to set. The conference room that was once orderly is now disorganized with documents and folders. The coffee from this morning was now cold and the near empty liquor bottle was on its last pour of distracting my mind as I was overwhelmed with apprehension.
"Non preoccuparti, la troveremo," Leone said, interrupting my thoughts of her (Don't worry, we'll find her).
"Maybe we should change our plan," one of the guards spoke out from the back of the room.
"I'm sorry?" Manny asked as he began to approach the man.
"Start checking the cliffs and coastline for her dead body, the Maserati was probably too much for her to handle," he said in what I thought was a derisive tone.
"What is your name?" I asked as I leaned back into my chair and stared at this worthless guard.
"Nico," my mother said in a concerned voice, but I dismissed her.
"M-my name is Biagio," he said nervously
"Biagio," I muttered with a light chuckle.
I stared at him with emptiness in my eyes; eyes that showed no emotion. The thought of living in a world where Arabella no longer existed made everything seem bleak. Purposeless.
I suddenly pulled out my gun and fired a bullet between his eyes. His body fell limp and he became marked with death as blood trickled down his face. No one dared to make a move or speak out; the dead man that now sat in the room became a threat to anyone else that wanted to assume Arabella's death.
"Anyone who talks about Arabella being dead will be killed next," I warned.
"Someone get this body out of the fucking room," I said as I grimaced at the sight of blood almost staining my leather chair.
Two guards brought him out of the room but everyone continued to remain silent. Some of my men shifted uncomfortably in their seats as I tossed my gun onto the table, feeling displeased that we've made no progress. The sound of ringing suddenly disrupted the silence as Manny pulled out his phone and I peered at him curiously as his eyes widened.
"It's her," he muttered in disbelief.
"What?" I asked and he turned his phone for everyone to see.
Arabella.
Why was I not the one that she chose to call?
"Answer it," Alexander said cautiously and made his way towards us as we stood around the phone.
"Bella?" Manny said as he set the call on speaker and placed the phone on the table.
"Manny," she breathed out reluctantly.
"Where have you been? We've all been looking for you, are you alright?" he asked.
"Everything has been difficult for me lately, but I'm fine," she answered softly.
My men and I shared confused glances as we all thought she was in danger, but her response had proved otherwise.
"Are you going to tell us where you're at?" he continued to question her. For a few seconds she remained silent but the sound of shuffling in her background caught our attention.
"Well, I needed some space to clear my head so I decided to leave. I'm in a different country at the moment. I just needed to get away from everything..."
"...I thought that a change of scenery would help me feel better and take my mind off things, so I-I've traveled to India to have some time alone," she said and confusion began to spread throughout the room as she continued to speak.
"In fact, right now, I am at the Jatayu Center and they have the most beautiful work of art, you should visit here someday it's lovely," she added to break the silence when Manny couldn't come up with anything to say.
"Bella, just tell us exactly where you're staying, we'll come get you and sort everything o-"
"No," she said immediately in a fearful voice and my frustration grew immensely.
"I-I just need some time away from Nicolo, I can't stand to be around him anymore. Please, don't come looking for me, I need to be on my own for awhile," She said as her words trembled from her lips.
My fingers gripped the edge of the table as I tried to control my anger. I was the reason why she isn't with me right now; I was the cause of my own misery. Did I make her uncomfortable? Our kiss was the most blissful experience for me, but was I too forward with her?
"Goodbye," she whispered before ending the call. The single word that left her lips was not directed towards me, but hearing that from her pained me more than a bullet to the chest.
"Che cazzo," Leone said, speaking out what many of us were thinking (What the fuck).
"I wasn't able to trace back the call to her location," Gabe muttered.
"That wasn't her," Alexander said and I looked up at him as he seemed to be perplexed by his own words.
"What are you saying?" I asked.
"I mean, I've been tracking her for years. None of that seemed normal, something isn't right," he said as he shook his head.
"Do you think she's being held hostage?" Leone asked and Alexander nodded his head.
"We need a plan to infiltrate Romano's warehouse," Manny said aloud.
His words slipped through my mind as I could only hear her voice in my head. Whether she was held captive or escaped from being with me, I failed at keeping her safe and happy.
I failed her.
*****
Author's Note:
Hello People,
What do you guys think Arabella is planning?
-Love, A
P.S. This book is almost finished! I absolutely cannot wait to share it with you guys and get everyone's opinions and feedback!