It wasn't often that the scouts of the Survey Corps had the luxury to rewind and relax. Above all, enough time to take a decent bath. So when it was announced that there were no expeditions for the next few weeks, in addition to newly installed rooms that had large tubs, able to occupy many people- practically everyone had swarmed to claim a room, you were among them.
You clutched onto your towel and attires you'd be wearing to head out into town; however, the only issue was to find a room. Every time you tried to open a door, it was locked, rendering you quite saddened at how unlucky you were. Sighing, you passed by a door and realized that it was unlocked. Looking from side to side, you failed to notice a brunette as they hid in the corner of the hallway.
Once you found that the coast was clear, you rushed inside, locking the door. You heaved a relieved sigh, failing to realize that your raven-haired Corporal was within the very room you were in, within that tub and enjoying the warmth of the waters. So, when you turned around to set your towel and clothes down, your eyes widened when you met his.
Words were unable to come out of your mouth when you saw his arms propped on the edge of the wooden tub, his body soaked with water, and hair slicked back. You hastialy turned around and attempted to leave the room- but the door was jammed shut. Sweat began to trickle down your skin as you frantically tried to unlock the door, but there must've been some outside force forbidding you from opening it from the inside. Just as you were going to give up, you heard snickers on the other side of the door. Realizing who it was, you paused. "Hanji" you said sternly, attempting to mask a nervous voice.
She laughed, a mischievous grin was plastered on her lips. "Mhm, yes? What? Want me to open the door?~"
Her tone made you imagine herself holding the keys to the door, wavering it in your face, even though there was a door blocking you from seeing it; however, it didn't stop you from imagining her with that smug look.
"What's the purpose of this Hanji?!" you exclaimed, unable to contain your nervousness. "Can you please let me out?!"
"No can do, you'll just have to take that bath with shortie in there~" and with that, you heard her laugh once more before it faded away.
You stood there, frozen, trying to process what had happened. It didn't take long before you heard Levi shift within the water, and you gulped, facing the door. You wanted to respect him, even if respect was already shown between the two of you as superiors with similar strengths, you wanted to respect his privacy so you remained facing the door. "I'm so sorry Levi" you voiced.
You didn't hear him answer you for a while, but a few minutes later, you heard a faint voice. "If you want to take a bath, do so, the water will get cold."
Your heart thumped at the thought of taking a bath with him, practically naked. Perhaps taking a bath with your clothes on wouldn't hurt? It was quite idiotic to think that since you'd get soaked anyway. Well, what if you asked Levi to get out and face the other way? He might agree, but you didn't want to ruin his chance to get a proper bath as well...leaving no choice left, you turned to meet his eyes and nodded. What you didn't expect was that his back was already faced towards you, not even that, he seemed to be at the edge of the tub now. Was he giving you your own space to allow you to undress, to get yourself cleaned up? You smiled at his little gesture.
After taking off your clothes, you slowly dipped yourself into the tub and relinquished in the warm waters. It felt rewarding, after all, this was after an expedition that resulted in grave casualties- so, to have such a nice bath to wash away your worries, and care about your own wellbeing felt very rewarding.
Looking to the side, you grabbed a little scrub and began cleaning yourself.
In the meantime, Levi still remained at the corner, sitting idly there. He has never experienced something such as this before, so suffice to say, it was very nerve-wracking for him. Not to mention how it was with the women he's grown to harbor a certain feeling for, it wasn't easy for him to maintain his emotions, nor his words. His face was red, and he excused it to be because of the hot steam that was emitting from the tub; however, he knew better that it was because of you.
After a while, you set the scrub away and looked at Levi. Your eyes landed on his back, and you felt a sudden tug on your heart. There were scars covering the sides of his back, some old and some new. They ran deep, they looked like it hurt too. You subconsciously went closer to him, and he felt the shift in water in addition to the sudden warm presence that was behind him.
Darting your eyes from the scars to one end to the beginning of another, you rose your hand and slowly dragged it over them. Your heart shattered each time you noticed a new one.
Levi had no idea what you were doing, but feeling the scars that were being gently grazed over by your touch, he felt at ease for some reason.
It was until you realized that by the last scar you found, you were so close to Levi that you would've crushed his body against the tub. Quickly pulling away, you slurred out, "I didn't mean to get so close and personal! I-I don't know what came over me."
He didn't turn around, he respected the fact that you were naked at the moment. However, he didn't want you to think that what you did made him uncomfortable. The least he'd ever want for you to feel was that you were uncomfortable with him. So, he shook his head. "No, it's alright, at least you weren't some shit like Hanji."
You raised a brow, a little confused by what he said before calming down. "Speaking of Hanji, I'm really sorry she got us into this mess."
"Tch" he scoffed.
There was a moment of silence, though, in this circumstance, anyone would be embarrassed, feeling a tense atmosphere like it was suffocating the breath out of you, but that didn't seem to be the case at all. Instead, the both of you felt comfortable in each other's presence, well, despite the predicament you both were currently in.
"Hey..." your voice reached his ears, earning a hum from him. "Are there more scars...in the front?"
He had the urge to look at you, but he resisted. Until he felt your hand on his shoulder, urging him to turn around did he do so. His eyes widened at your wettened hair, but what surprised him the most was how beautiful you were. He wasn't even looking at the feature that any man would've swooned over if a naked woman was in front of them...no, it was your face. You were beautiful. The way your eyes sparked, your lips, your rosy cheeks, your hair as it stuck to your skin...he gulped.
Once he turned around, you had a clear view of his chest. Scars scattered all over, and trailing your eyes to his arms, they were very prominent there too. You hadn't known how severe they were since Levi has always been so reserved, wearing clothes that covered his skin. You had many too, but not as much as Levi.
He remained his eyes respectfully on you while you did too. It wasn't until he heard your voice did he snap out of his gaze. "Did they hurt, Levi? These scars" you said, brows furrowed and eyes cast downwards.
He hesitated to answer, knowing that he got these scars ever since he was young. These scars reminded him of his terrible childhood and the failures of saving the people he wished to save. They told him of how much of a failure he was, how useless he was. He believed that if he had scars in one particular area, more than the rest, which in this case was his whole body anyway, it was what had to be fixed. And so, it was he who had to become better. He had to work harder to get stronger so that no one else would die because of him...but, the more he did, the more scars he got, leading to a never-ending cycle of this repeating notion.
Sighing, he nodded. He wanted to be open to you, just as you've allowed yourself to be vulnerable to him. He wanted to let you know that he trusted you.
The silence made you regret your words, worried that it might've hurt him when you had asked. "You don't have to tell me if you d-" He shook his head, halting your words.
"No, it's alright" he reassured. Then, "they do hurt because they remind me of how...much of a failure...I am" he voiced them slowly as he's never expressed his emotions with anyone before. "I fear that the more of them I get, the newer ones I have, it'll only remind me of how useless I am. No matter how much training I do, it'll always be worth nothing to the people who are risking their lives, to the people who are wasting their money on us" he cast his furrowed eyes, a pained expression lingering on his face. Then, he looked up at you, and your breath hitched by the way he looked. "I feel worthless, (Y/N), more than I'd like to admit."
Immediately, you wrapped your arms around him, your chest pressed against his that he reddened by the fact that he was feeling your chest. He rose his arms above himself, not wanting to embrace you back in fear that he'd make you uncomfortable.
"You can hug me back Levi, you're always allowed to," you said, and so, he wrapped his arms around you, nuzzling his face under the crook of your neck.
The both of you remained there, in each other's embrace as the water was slowly getting colder and colder. A hand reached up to his hair, brushing through his wet locks. He sighed, pulling you closer at this pleasant feeling. It wasn't often that he would be held like this, not so warmly, not so close...so much that he began to feel underserving of such comfort. Before he could pull away to apologize, you pulled away first and cupped his face. Your eyes lingered on his face, holding so much love within them that Levi wondered what could you be thinking about to look at him so sadly.
He brushed your hair behind your ear to get a better look at the women he loves. He felt worse now that he realized he was the reason you looked at him so sadly, at least, that was his interpretation of it. "I didn't mean to make you so sad" he mumbled, caressing your back lightly.
You shook your head. "No that's not it, well I mean..." you couldn't think straight, but his soothing motions made you relaxed. "Levi..." you grazed his pale complexion, sensually dragging it along his skin. "You're strong, mentally and physically. Your scars are beautiful, they tell you how you're able to persevere against the things that block your way." You placed a hand over his heart. "You're worthwhile Levi, you have such a kind heart, and even if you tell yourself otherwise, even if you tend to hide it from this cruel world because of how it treated you..." you looked into his eyes, leaning a little closer. "I'll always love you, because you're worth loving, worth the time."
You pressed a kiss to his check, and when you pulled back, you watched as his eyes widened and his lips parted. His eyes suddenly met yours, and he gulped. "Am I really worth loving? I-I'm not useless?" he asked you.
"Yes, Levi, you deserve love, your scars are beautiful, and even if you tell yourself otherwise" you kissed his cheek again. "I'll always remind you that you're more than what you tell yourself otherwise, because I love you."
He brought you to him, your chest to his that you felt his heart beating underneath his skin. "I love you, so much" he said, holding you tightly.
You wrapped your arms around him, smiling warmly. The both of you remained in the tub, but by the time he longed to hold you for a little while longer, the water was cold.
"The water's cold" you informed as you ran your hand up and down his back. "Why don't we dry ourselves and head back to your office? I'd love to dry your hair" you offered through a smile.
He hummed, agreeing with you.
After you both reached his bedroom, Levi suddenly grabbed the towel from you and propped you on the bed. You rose a brow, confused by what he's doing. He stood before you and placed the towel on your head, gently drying your hair.
You smiled once he began. "Thank you Levi, I thought I'd be drying your hair?"
"You will, I'd like to dry yours first" he said, continuing his motions.
You allowed him to, relinquishing in his gentle motions. Once he finished, he sat down on the ground for you while you sat on the bed. You placed the towel over his hair and began. He himself enjoyed this, loving his time with you.
He suddenly felt you stop, then, he felt your hands cup his face. Your eyes slowly closed, pulling him close as he did the same, and once the distance closed, his lips met with yours.
You pulled away, and once you opened your eyes, you were met with a gentle smile on his face- it melted your heart, especially after he gave you another kiss.