Hello bitches! I am back.
Trigger warning... I know.
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Alesso.
I grunted as I felt the pounding headache in my head making me push my head deeper into the pillow to stop the agony.
Why the fuck did I have to drink so much?
I heard a small groan near my ear and a hand pushing my head away from the warmth. Suddenly the bed dipped and the pillow went away from me making me flick my eyes open. Adjusting to the sunlight, I see Maria sprinting towards the bathroom making me furrow my brows. I looked beside me to see I was sleeping on her side of the bed and my head was not resting on the pillows.
I guess the pillows were her boobs.
My head snapped to the bathroom when I heard Maria vomiting making me get out of the bed in a hurry but only to see white dots in my vision due to the sudden movement.
I am going to kill Matteo for allowing me to bring this much.
I walked to the bathroom and opened the door to see Maria kneeled by the toilet seat. I was worried about her now, this is the fifth time she has thrown up, I guess we need to change her meds.
I held her hair behind her back while trying to ignore the throbbing headache. After she was done, she cleaned up and brushed her teeth while I brushed mine. I have got to know from the last few days that she does not like to speak without brushing her teeth so we stayed silent.
"How are you feeling?" I asked her as she sat on the edge of the bed.
"Fine, I feel so tired and I just woke up." She let out a yawn and fell back in the bed making me chuckle. "How are you feeling, any headaches? Do you need Advil?" She plopped on her elbows to ask me making me nod.
I sat on the bed and watched her walking to the cabinet and taking out a pill. Handing it to me I swallowed it without the water making her scrunch her nose a bit.
"I can never understand how you swallow medicine without water." She shakes her head and sits beside me.
"Well, it's just like how you swallow mine." I smirk at her making her widen her eyes my statement.
"Alesso! It is eight in the morning." She plops her face in her palms while groaning making me chuckle.
"Couldn't help it, babe." Her movements stop making me press my lips in a thin line, realising what I said. I never called her babe before.
"You called me babe?" She lifts her head and smirks at me making me a bit relaxed that she isn't refusing the nickname for her.
"Yeah." I said while grinning and brought her body closer to me making her straddle on my lap as she giggled. "You have a problem?" I nuzzled my head in her chest making her hiss and push me back by my shoulders.
"What is it? Did I hurt you?" I pull back immediately looking between her chest and her eyes.
"Yeah no, I don't know my breasts feel a lot sensitive today, so no boob play." She let out a laugh while giving me a pointed look.
"Are you sure, do you want to go to the doctor?" I don't want her to feel any kind of pain right now.
"I am fine. Maybe my periods are close so, probably due to that." She said while chuckling and playing with my hair making me smile at her.
"Ok." I know she never gets regular periods so I am kind of worried about that for her. I look at her to see her looking at me nervously. "What is it?"
"Do you remember anything from last night?" She tilted her head a bit.
I try to remember what happened last night. I do remember going to the bar, then handing the deal to my partners, killing a few people as usual, then wanting to confess that I love Maria. So for that, I was nervous and therefore Matteo told me to drink a bit and then I don't remember anything. Did I do something stupid?
"No, I don't remember much. What did I do?" I looked at her to see hurt on her face making me tense instantly. "Did I hurt you?"
Fuck that would be the worst.
"No-no, you didn't hurt me, relax. I was just asking." She said but I could see she was lying about something but I didn't ponder upon it much. "Why were you drunk in the first place."
Lord save me, she is angry now.
"Well, you know..." I looked everywhere but her making her narrow her gaze at me.
"No, I don't."
"It was Matteo!" I lied making her chuckle a bit.
"Don't blame that poor guy." I don't like the face she was defending him.
"Poor guy? if you know him as I do you would be petrified." I give her a pointed look making her shake her head.
"Sure, whatever you say." She smiled at me and wrapped her arms around my neck bringing her body close to me. There was something I wasn't able to point out, maybe because there are no lies between us. It feels so good. "Come on, I am hungry."
"Mhm." In a matter of seconds, she was out of the room. Something is definitely odd. I usually would drag her out of the bed as she didn't like to leave her blanket.
I followed behind her and I let out a sigh as I walked down the stairs. I was going to show her around the mansion today, I hope she does not get scared because I won't be holding back. I should also start teaching her self defence, that way she would be able to protect herself in the time of need, not that she has to cause I'll be with her.
Walking to the dining room I saw Matteo and Maria both talking about something and giggling like girls. But then Matteo's face scrunches in disgust looking at Maria's plate making me confused. I roamed around the kitchen as the maids let down the breakfast.
"What in the Gods name is that!?" I heard Matteo say behind me to Maria so I looked over my shoulder. She was holding a plate which was having some salad with whipped cream making me widen my eyes.
"What?" She asked as if Matteo was being the stupid one.
"You do realise that is salad and whipped cream, right?" He asked while resting his hands in his hips.
"Yeah, so?" She snapped at him making him widen his eyes at her. Ooo... She does not like when people criticise her food. He should have known better. But to be fair, I was on his side on this one, it was a weird combination.
"Nothing, but won't you get sick by that?" I asked as I grabbed my dish and sat at the table with them and took a bite of my bacon.
"No, I won't. The only thing that is making me nauseous is the smell of bacon." She scrunches her nose and starts eating her whipped cream salad. Even the thought of that makes me want to puke.
"I can't believe you just ate that," Matteo says while shaking his head making Maria glare at him.
"If you throw up again you are in for a ride. I will be taking you to the doctor." I shake my head and start eating when I hear Matteo chuckle beside me making me look up from my dish. "What?"
"Ride." My eyes widen at what he said but smirked at it. That's not a bad idea. We both look at Maria who was looking at us confused making me let out a sigh.
"What is it?" God, she is still so naive sometimes. No matter how dirty I talk she never gets all of it making me more hard.
"How can you not know?" Matteo butts in. "You both literally fuck all the time." He says making Maria scrunch her nose but also looking embarrassed.
"I am sorry I don't know that vocabulary much like you. You must be doing that all the time." She rests her cheek on her palm while leaning on the table.
I chuckle at what she said and looked at Matteo for his response.
"I haven't..." He mumbles making my eyes go wide at his confession. I know he hasn't but he has never told that to anyone.
"You haven't...what?" I let out a sigh. At least she knew what sex was when we married otherwise it would have been very awkward to explain it to her. Matteo doesn't answer her and kept looking at his plate while playing with his knife but Maria kept her eyes on him for an explanation.
"Fine, I haven't fucked ok! There, done. Now can we change the topic?" He blurted out making Maria's eyes go won't in shock. I was just enjoying all the show.
"You are a virgin?" She whispered out as if this was top secret and Matteo nodded. "And here I thought I was the innocent one." She let out a laugh making Matteo narrow his eyes at me as if pleading for help but I just shrugged my shoulders and continued eating while grinning like an idiot.
"Oh please, I am way more than innocent. I sure have done some stuff here and there but I am not as innocent as you." He said while nodding.
"Hey!" She let out a whine.
"What, I may be a virgin but my mind is a slut." He let out a chuckle while she shared her head in disbelief. He isn't wrong there.
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Maria.
I am still trying to absorb what Alesso had said last night. He showed me around the west wing of the mansion this afternoon but my mind was in a different place.
Did he mean what he said to me or was it just drunk talk? It's only been four months since our marriage but you never know. To be fair, I have feelings for him and would like to tell him that I love him but I am scared to confess, I mean who isn't? Scared to be taking it too fast or being rejected.
My mind is swirling with these thoughts as we walked through the corridors. Alesso didn't hold back at this. He is showing me the storage room for their illegal stuff like drugs, guns, money, you know the usual stuff. I was not allowed to enter in and so we were looking through a glass window.
"So, all this life sentence worth shit has been here all this time?" I look at him wide-eyed. We can practically be arrested for life by the number of drugs here are.
"Well not always. They do get transported here and there." He gave me a sheepish smile making me narrow my eyes at him.
"To drug lords?"
"Mhm, you can say that." He answered vaguely. My eyes wandered across the room as I observed the shelves and huge lockers probably storing money.
"I don't think this place is quite secured." I looked at him to see him raising his eyebrow in challenge.
"Really?" He gave me a smirk but I still nodded. "If you looked closely, the reason why we are not allowed to enter the room is that the room is filled with nitrogen dioxide. Don't worry it won't hurt the precious goods"
He pointed at the door and specifically the handle. "There are sensors on the doors which check whether the person is armed or not and go on to let the others know. In our Mafia, we all have a tattoo that is to be scanned if we want to enter a room that is not accessible to all, very few. But this particular room is only accessible by high secured passcode only known to three people including me."
"Then how do you enter the room when needed because the gas is still in the room." I looked at him to see him nod.
"Well there are air ducks in there, so when the password has accepted the gas exchanges back to oxygen. It barely takes a minute." I looked back at the window and then walked out of the room.
I honestly don't know how to feel about this. He speaks as if this all is normal to me. I walked down the hallway and I heard footsteps behind me. Peaking over my shoulder I saw him catching up.
"Isn't that too much? The quantity?" I looked beside me, at him as he chuckled.
"No amore, it isn't. This is only quarter of quarter which we keep here in the mansion and is usually for self-use." I widen my eyes at what he said.
"Quarter! Are you crazy!? There were shelves and shelves of that stuff. Where is the rest?" This is so crazy, that was a huge room and that was quarter?
"Somewhere you won't know about. And about the quantity, our mafia is second in trading these drugs and weaponry so not a big deal." He shrugs it off as he walked down the stairs.
Then we saw his actual side business, which is providing weapons for the government. Next, he showed me his garage where there were many trucks and cars with fake number plates. Then the basement, but we didn't go inside because I didn't want to.
Right now we were outside the private hospital which he had mainly for emergencies.
"Why do you need a hospital in the house when there is one right around the street?" I asked him as he walked and took the next turn which leads to God knows where.
"In certain cases, there are injuries where we cannot report it in the public hospitals otherwise they ask fucking questions, which could blow our cover. So for many years, we have been using this method." He explained as he took another turn. Didn't we just pass by here? Fuck, I am going to get lost in this place.
I nodded at what he said. It makes sense and it is a good thing he takes care of his men and does not leave them to die. "So, where are we headed now?"
"The training room. I am going to discuss some things there with you." He said the last part weakly making me a bit nervous.
I stepped in but then the alarm went off making me cover my ears immediately at the loud ringing.
"What is that!?" I shouted as Alesso cursed under his breath and punched different buttons on the keypad making the sirens stop.
"What just happened?" I looked at him with worry, is there a problem?
"Nothing, it just detected your-" he cut himself off and walked further into the room.
"My what?" I followed behind him. I could sense he was regretting what he said making me want to know more.
"Nothing, just leave it be." He ran his fingers through his hair not wanting to tell me.
"Okay." Just for now. I'll ask later. My eyes shifted to the punching bags in the corner which were completely destroyed with other stuff like a lamp and a few frames.
"Weren't those in our room? Why are they here?" I pointed out making Alesso turn and freeze.
"Yeah." He scratches the back of this neck, he does that when he is nervous.
"Then why is it here? And that too broken." Did something happen?
"I had an incident." He hesitated to tell me a bit.
"When?" My voice was soft as I walked closer to him while holding his arm. I know he avoids this topic but this needs to stop and being stubborn as he is, he doesn't ask for help.
"This month." He adverted his gaze from the broken furniture. "First was when you were hospitalised, and then it just started to pick up. They were short but more frequent."
"Why don't you get professional help? You know they can help you deal with your attacks." I try to convince him. This can't go forever.
"You know I don't like that." He said sternly making me press my lips in a thin line.
"You need to understand Alesso, this can't continue. Hurting yourself won't help, and asking for help doesn't mean you are weak so please don't think like that." I know he doesn't like to ask for help.
"We have already discussed this matter before and I have told you I don't want it!" He was trying to contain his voice but it wasn't working.
"Why not?"
"Why don't you understand! I don't need fixing!-"
"I am not fixing you! But do you think it is wise for you to suffer like this every time?" I look at him to see nothing but rage. I know this is a sensitive topic, but it needs to be discussed.
"I.am.not.suffering." He said through gritted teeth as if stopping himself from shouting. I tried to keep calm and not show I am scared.
"Ok, but at least talk about this with someone." I tried to negotiate with him but he shakes his head, refusing.
"No!" He almost sounded scared but masked that instantly.
"You are hiding something, Alesso I want to help you but this won't work if you won't open up a bit." I don't like seeing him go through that.
"I don't want to talk about it, Maria." He says and walks to the treadmill section.
"Okay, then at least tell me why the alarm went off." I asked about it. I want to know something, not want to open secrets later.
"It has nothing to do with you. It was just a slip of tongue."
"You said no more secrets, at least tell me something." I pointed out as I walked closer to him. I could see his chest was heaving as if scared to answer but I don't want to be left in the dark all the time.
"I don't want to talk about this Maria." His voice was stern telling me not to go further but this is what happens all the time.
"Why? Why don't you want to tell me?" I stepped closer while raising my voice a bit. I don't know why but I wanted to know, I was so frustrated all of a sudden.
"Ignore it, Maria." His voice remained low but his breathing picked up.
"What do you mean ignore it!? I have been ignoring all the red flags all my life and here you are telling me that the alarm went off because something was related to me! Why do you always lie!" He can't be seriously asking me to ignore it.
"I am not lying! I am just not telling you about it." What!?
"What in the fuck is the logic in that!" I shouted at him and then regretted it but we need to talk about this.
"Don't shout at me!" He raised his voice as he turned to face me. He fisted his fists while giving me a warning glare.
"Why not! You always do this, always shut yourself out when you are so close. Just-" I let out a scream as out of nowhere he wrapped his hand around my throat while backing me up against the wall.
When did he even move? I looked at him to only see him looking down at me with a sinister smirk sending chills down my spine. I could see his eyes were red by the veins in them going prominent. My chest started to go up and down as panic settled in me and my hands shot up to ease his grip on my throat as I was barely able to breathe.
"I am sorry, wasn't able to hear you." His voice was so cold laced with fake sympathy making my eyes snap at him in fear.
He blacked out.
"Al-" I could barely breathe let alone speak. I could see my eyes going droopy by the lack of oxygen and there was a heaviness in my head. I kept kicking and thrashing around his large frame but it was only using all my energy. It didn't help he was so strong, it wasn't affecting him as much as it affected me.
This feels like it happened yesterday.
"Ple-" I pleaded as tears formed in my eyes. His hold was not loosening up. My throat started to hurt and go dry.
"Weren't you shouting two seconds ago?" He tilted his head while mocking me. "Now speak! Shout at me!" He yelled at my face making me flinch and practically shake in fear. It never happened like this. He never went so far before.
This is not the Alesso I love. Not the one who cares for me, not the one who makes me pancakes or jokes around me. Not the one who brought a tone of strawberries just be reminded of me. Not the Alesso who held me while I cried when he found out I was bisexual and accepted the way I was.
I could feel myself going numb on my legs and hands while he just looked at me amusingly as I struggled. My lungs fought for air and I could feel the emptiness, my eyes started to go hazy and heavy to keep open.
"Any last words." He chuckled up, finding this situation humorous.
I don't think I have the energy to get out of this. I could barely stand up. So I gave up because that is more peaceful than living here in the devil's arms. I wish I could have helped him, asked him about it in a different way, maybe next time I will be able to tell the real Alesso that I love him. But for now, this is it.
"I love you." I said and I let go of the fight. The last thing I remembered was the immense pain in my lower abdomen and the wetness on my thighs when it all went blank.
Maybe next time.
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Well...what do you think will happen now?
I know this was a different chapter than before and I hope you guys liked it. It is more emotional and struggling for Alesso considering his past, please don't hate the poor guy.
I will try and give an update by Christmas but not so sure.
Did you guys do your shopping for 2? My birthday comes on 23 Dec so my friends give me combined gifts for Christmas and my birthday. I know sad life.
Let me know if you have any ideas to include in the next chapter.
Happy readings.
XX.