I spent most of the next full day in my room, sleeping most of the time. I didn’t even bother to change out of my night clothes. After a lot of crying, and then getting too tired, and then sleeping and crying again, I finally got sick of the miserable cycle. So, I changed into fresh clothes, brushed my hair, and splashed water in my face from my basin. Then I went back to my mattress and pulled out the song sheet. I practiced quietly for the rest of the day, fighting off my hunger by not thinking about anything but the music.
“Music,” I whispered softly, a smile forming on my lips as I uttered the word. The word was so precious, so beautiful I clung to it.
“Music, music, music!” I laughed. I had not remembered how good it felt. I had forgotten what I was missing.
I figured that my mood was bright enough, I could face my mother, because my father was at work. So, I quietly crept down the stairs and found my mother sitting on Father’s chair and staring out the living room window.
“Mother,” I said, startling her. She must have been deep in thought because she scrambled to find something to say. Finally she spoke,
“Hello, dear, I wasn’t sure that you would be making an appearance today.”
“Mother, who am I marrying?”
“His name is Ramaal. He is your brother’s friend.”
“Mother! I know him as a brother! How could I marry someone who I can only see as a friend? If you wanted to make me happy, then you wouldn’t have sent Rafi away. You hate me; I know you do! You just don’t understand anything!” I screamed, all of my angry emotions flowing out of me. I raced back upstairs and instead of going into my room, I went into Rafi’s. I slammed the door shut and collapsed on his bed. I wanted to cry, but then I also didn’t. But I couldn’t anyways, I had no more tears left.
Instead determination masked my face as I looked out the window at the birds chirping. How come they could sing, yet I could not. But I just pushed the thought aside. No time to think of such things. I walked over to Rafi’s wardrobe and threw open its doors.