Two hours later...
Sam made it very clear that he wants nothing to do with Janet. After our little moment away from the party, he looked her over with a nasty eye then scoffed. He was gentle about it too, not letting my mother or Mr. Wu notice, but Janet sure as hell did and she was so pissed and offended, she tried to leave. Mr. Wu wouldn't allow it. Janet grew grim and bitter until a few more guests arrived, guests, I recognized from my birthday party and actually liked. I chatted with them for a while, we all did; me, Sam, and Burkhardt, until the music started playing. I actually didn't intend to dance, but I was approached...
"Dance with me," Burkhardt says, crouching down beside my seat.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah?" He chuckles. "You'll dance with me for about thirty seconds then I'll hand you over to Sam."
"No."
His grin falters. "But I thought you and Sam were good."
"We are but it's not fair to you."
He glances around. "Roback won't like that."
"Let's find out!" Jumping to my feet, I grab his arm. I do a little skip as I tug Burkhardt over to Sam. Sam and three other guys moved away from the party to have a smoke break. They didn't have a chance to talk at my party but they seem to be really hitting off now.
"Sidra," Burkhardt yanks me back the moment the smell of smoke hits us.
Sam notices. Without saying a word to his new friends, Sam puts out his cigarettes and moves over to Burkhardt and me. I eye the beer in his hand. "What are you doing?" He asks me. The same reason why Burkhardt held me back is the same reason why Sam would ask me that; the smoke.
"Burkhardt wanted to dance with me for like ten seconds-which isn't fair," I say slowly. "So he could hand me over to you. I wanted to know if it's okay to dance for a whole song. Tell him."
"Yeah," he shrugs, turning to Burkhardt. "Just watch yourself."
Burkhardt chuckles. "I know my lane."
"Can you, um...?" My eyes fall to the beer in his hand again. "Never mind." I'm not sure why I would never ask. It's not an issue for me, Sam's a grown man, he's allowed to do whatever the hell he wants, especially at a party. Plus I still kinda feel bad for forcing him to tell me about Janet. I should've just trusted him and not questioned it but my damn jealousy took control.
Before I could turn Burkhardt and me around, Sam steps closer and grabs my arm. "I can stop drinking," he says.
"No, it's a party," I smile at him. "Have fun." I tug at Burkhardt's arm then move towards the party again.
Sam
"What the hell was that about?" I ask Burkhardt as Sidra walks away.
"She's pregnant," he chuckles. "Like before, she's going to be a little indecisive."
Impulsively, I take a large sip of my beer. "Fuck," I groan, yanking it away. "I'm a fucking idiot-don't say shit!" I snap at him and he laughs. "Hey, do me a favor and make sure she keeps her hair loose."
"Stop biting her, man. It's starting to get weird."
Thinking about it now, it was fucking pointless to bite her so hard to stop myself from coming. She's pregnant, I could've filled her up. I fucking should've. "She likes it," I smirk, taking a quick sip of my beer.
"Why the hell would she wear a dress like that anyway?"
I've already asked myself that and I answered it instantly. "I know she says she looks like a fairy and even thought about changing, but she likes her dress and she won't let something like a bite she can cover ruin that." She liked the dress so she put it on, my Sidra would never let something so little dictator her life. And that's why I still feel like shit for what happened downstairs.
Burkhardt must've been reading my mind because he says, "listen, I never meant to start something between you two. I was only trying to help."
I nod. "We have time. I can think of something else. I am not losing her or my baby."
He sighs. "We'll continue this later, yeah?" I nod and he walks away, joining my Sidra.
Burkhardt's brilliant idea is for Sidra to leave. She packs her things and leaves Rita's place forever. She's eighteen so technically there's nothing Rita can do. No one will ever find out about the baby or our relationship, and my name will stay clean. Sidra will stay at Burkhardt's loft that's just out of the city. He's not sure what will happen to us because we're Sidra's bodyguards, but he's willing to bet everything that we'll be part-time guards for Rita, meaning I can stay with Sidra most of the week. Honestly, it's a good plan with only a few issues we can work around, like Jackson and David, but I won't put the added stress on Sidra. As if leaving her mum wasn't enough to stress Sidra completely out, moving into Burkhardt's and turning her life upside down would do it for sure. And Sidra keeps forgetting about school. If we do go along with Burkhardt's plan, we'll have to wait for her to graduate because she is fucking graduating.
Sidra and Burkhardt finish their little day then Sidra slips over to me. "I couldn't wait," she confesses. "Come on!" She grabs my arm and yanks me forward. Passing a table, I place my beer down, then, reaching the "dance floor," Sidra stops us and turns to face me again.
I glance at Rita. Relieved to see she has her back to us and talking to Reggie, I turn my attention on Sidra again. "We're good," I nod, pulling her closer, placing my hands on her hips. She blushes and slides her hands up my chest to grip my shoulders. We slowly begin to sway. The music is sort of upbeat but it doesn't matter to us. "I'm only trying to help," I say meaning every word. "Our time at Rita's place isn't done."
She chuckles, the total opposite of what I expected. "I trust you and if you think staying at my mom's while we try to figure out another plan, then okay. I'm just terrified of not being able to protect both of you."
"You just said you trust me."
"Yet the fear still lingers. Just like I know it does with you for me."
It does. Oh, fuck, it does. I protect her not just as her bodyguard but as her boyfriend too-I can add the father of her unborn child if I want-and it's still not enough. Not sure what to say that can put her fear at ease, I nod. I hate that I've brought it up and ruined the mood, so I step back, taking her hand from my shoulder, and hold it above her head. She spins around. Her smile returns, it's brighter now. I hold her closer, wrapping an arm around her waist, and keep her hand in mine.
"How bad do you want to kiss me right now?" She smirks.
I sigh. "Really bad. You know that."
Her eyes dart to our tangled hands and she frowns. "What the hell is that?" I follow her gaze and see my bandages are exposed. I've been doing a good job at hiding my hands, even when Sidra wasn't around, but I must've fucked up when I spun her around. My sleeve pulled up. "Sam?"
"It's nothing." I tug my sleeve down.
"Both of them?!" She grasps at my sleeves and, well fucking enough, my bandaged hands are free. "Sam?"
"It was right after you and Burkhardt left the guest house. I was pissed-on a whole new fucking level like never before and I snapped." Admittedly and pretty fucking shitty of me, I expect her to start yelling or give me the look of disappointment. But instead, she seems calm, scary calm. It's freaking me out a little. "Sidra?" I grab her by her shoulders and give her a little shake. She snaps out of whatever dazed state she was in and starts crying. "Baby, why are you crying?"
"Why is exactly what I'm talking about?!" She shouts louder than she should.
"Sidra!" I glance around and see we've already stolen the spotlight. Burkhardt rushes over and we escort Sidra behind the wall.
"Shit like this wouldn't be happening if we just-" I cover her mouth before she could finish. She's still shouting and everyone can hear her. "Get off me!" She shoves me off at the same time Rita comes from around the wall.
"What's going on?" Rita asks. Burkhardt and I turn chalk white.
"My bodyguards are idiots!" Sidra snarls, placing her hands on her hips. "I tried to be nice and I still get treated like a child!"
Rita sighs, annoyed. "Well, what do you expect when you keep acting like this, Sidra? Finish your tantrum quietly then return to the party and apologize." Sidra scoffs, running her eyes. "Handle this!" Rita orders Burkhardt and me. We nod then she looks Sidra over with disappointment twisting her face and leaves.
My anger takes over. This is exactly what I'm trying to avoid for Sidra. She doesn't need this shit! She doesn't need her mother giving her shit every time she does something Rita doesn't approve of. The bitch would never approve unless it was her idea. Sidra doesn't-and then it hits me like a fucking truck. This is exactly...I turn to Sidra. "You want to leave because I snapped." Tears falling from her eyes, she nods.
"You told her?!" Burkhardt groans, slamming the back of his hand hard against my upper arm. I look at his hand then at him, giving him that what the fuck are you doing look. He pulls away. "Right..."
I turn to Sidra-again. "If we leave, I wouldn't be afraid of you hurting yourself-" she gestures to my hands "-or others." Staring into her tearful eyes, it's like I can see what she's thinking; Jackson slamming me against the window. I wince as my own painful tears force their way out. That morning was scarring for all of us. Jackson because he found out about my relationship with Sidra, and given how I'm going to be a father, that could be a little terrifying watching your kid with someone you don't trust. Sidra because she had to watch me get attacked-again, the dog attack and now this, then there's threatening her father figure to save my life, and all of this after Burkhardt drunk kissed her and Paul left her. Fuck, she's been through so much. Burkhardt and me because we had to watch Sidra handle a gun. I also had to hear Jackson say I was using Sidra.
Blinking rapidly, I force my unwanted tears away and turn to Burkhardt. "Is there any way Sidra can finish school from your place?" I ask him. He looks startled by my question. Glad to see I didn't only surprise myself.
"Sam," Sidra gasps, throwing herself at me. She flattens herself against my side as she wraps her arms around my torso. I wrap an arm around her.
"Is there?" I ask Burkhardt.
He shrugs. "She would have to go back to school-physically but we won't have any guards to protect her." Instinctively, I tighten my arm around her. "Or she can get her GED online."
"No," I say firmly. "She might be indecisive about college but she's getting her high school diploma."
"I'm right here," Sidra growl. "Y'all always do this."
"So we wait," Burkhardt says defeated.
"I'll try to think of something else but the day Sidra graduates, we leave."
Sidra, rising on her toes, places a kiss on my cheek then pulls away. "I'm going to get some water." I nod and quickly squeeze her hand before she walked away.
"She's worried about our...relationship," Burkhardt says once Sidra is out of earshot. I turn to face him while he strolls over to the edge and peers over it.
"What did you say to her, you big baby?!" I snarl.
He looks at me over his shoulder. "Nothing! It's not what you think. I didn't go up to her and say 'Roback's still mad at me. Fix it.' She's the one who wanted to talk about it. I didn't."
"And why is that?" I move to his side. The sun is well down the horizon, giving the moon permission to rise. It's dark out but there are no stars-I hate the city sometimes. Almost every light is on in the buildings surrounding us. It's a beautiful view, almost enough to make up for the lack of stars. Almost. I wish Sidra wasn't afraid of height. She doesn't like the city but she would like the view.
"Because I still deserve your hate," he mutters.
"What? It's been weeks, Burkhardt."
He looks me in my eyes. "Can you tell me right now to my face that you honestly forgive me?"
"I...I-"
"I know you only kept me around because she forgave me and because I'm the only one-I was the only one who knew about your relationship." I take in his settled expression. He's a bodyguard, emotion is not really his thing. He's just supposed to stand there tensed and ready, prepared for any treats. But a smile creeps across my face when I see he's mad.
"You want to be my friend."
"Shut the fuck up!" He snaps, averting his eyes.
"But if that's true, then why beat yourself up over something that happened almost two months ago?"
"Because you haven't!" He pushes off the railing to turn and face me. He's standing close and looks like he's ready to hit me.
I swallow. "I forgive you, you fucking idiot. I wanted you to be more than my coworker before. You've proven yourself to be more. I'm well aware that I'm pretty fucking complicated and I lose my shit too easy, but you put up with me. And I now know it's not just for Sidra."
He softens a bit. "Well, she loves you."
"Honestly, I don't know how," I chuckle dryly. Even though she's pregnant with my kid, I'm still scared she might leave me.
"You're not a bad guy, Roback."
"Thanks," I nod. Then, after a moment to collect ourselves, we return to the party and find Sidra dancing with Jackson.