Burkhardt and I take off, running out of his room and down the hall. But I'm faster-I'm always faster and stronger and devoted when it comes to Sidra-and I'm at her bedroom door in a heartbeat. It's open, I didn't leave it open. I stumble and crash into the doorframe. Ignoring the pain on my side, I rush inside to find Jackson trying to wake my still screaming Sidra. Burkhardt, being a few seconds late, bumps into me. "Get him out," I tell him.
He nods and runs to Jackson. "Hey, we got this!" He yells at Jackson as he tugs at his arm. Light on my feet, I move around them, put my knee on the bed, lean over my Sidra, and cup her face.
"What the hell's going on?!" Jackson demands to know. But his voice is getting farther and farther away as Burkhardt yanks him away. Well, I guess Burkhardt just saved himself from another punch.
"Sidra, baby, I'm right here," I whisper to her. But it doesn't work, she can't hear me. I glance back at the same time Burkhardt shuts the door. I sigh in relief. They're gone now. "Sidra?" I turn back to her and lean down. "It's me, baby, wake up!" Her screams painfully transform into sobs, and I wince, my own tears filling my eyes. She's covered in sweat and trembling. I was only gone for two minutes yet she seems like she's been stuck in this nightmare for two hours. How is this possible? My poor Sidra...and it's all my fault. "Please, come back to me," I whisper, cupping her cheek again. Like a jack-in-a-box, she abruptly jolts up and throws her arms around me. Startled, I hesitantly hold her still shaking body closer.
"I'm right here," I promise her. "I'm so sorry I left you."
"Sam," she whimpers, ripping through me and breaking my heart even more. I shut my eyes to stop the painful tears from forcing their way out. Then, almost like someone had sucked whatever energy she has left, Sidra collapses, going limp in my arms.
"Sidra!" Pure fear fills me. I bring her lips to my ear. Her breathing is slowing, nothing dangerous, just a sign of sleep. Relaxing a little, I pull her away and try to catch my own breathing and slow my racing heart. That. Was. Fucking. Terrifying. I gently release her on her bed again and pull the covers up. The beams of sweat that are still rolling down the side of her face are out of fear, not heat. She begins to stir then her eyes abruptly open.
"Sam?" She croaks, her voice rough and hoarse from all the screaming. I climb off the bed and stand on my knees so I'm eye-level with her.
"I'm right here, Sidra. I'm so sorry." I move to keep her from sitting up, but she does it anyway and kisses my head before pressing her forehead to mine. "I'm so sorry." I don't think I'll ever be able to say that enough. I begged her not to leave me then I leave her. I shouldn't have risked a nightmare for my own needs.
She draws away to look at me. "Are you okay?" She whispers, brushing my overgrown hair behind my ear. Her soft eyes are filled with much concern and her now gentle voice is somehow comforting. If anyone were to walk in and saw and heard her, they would've thought I was the one who've just woken up from a nightmare and she was calming me. And probably because I'm doing such a bad job at it with my own self-guilt.
"Yeah, baby, I'll be fine. Are you okay?"
She suddenly looks drained and her eyes roll to the back of her head as she falls back on her pillows. I panic for a moment, ready to jump up and wake her again, but she grabs and squeezes my head. "Tired. Can you shut them up?" She groans.
"Shut who-" then I heard it; Jackson and Burkhardt arguing in the hall. I was so distracted and scared, I never heard a pep out of them. "I'll be right back." I jump up, placing a kiss on her forehead in the process, then I hurry across the room and into the hall.
"I want to see her!" Jackson rushes out before I'm through the doorway. Burkhardt and I shove him back as I close the door behind. "What the hell's going on?!"
Burkhardt and I glance at each other. I'm still a little shaken up from what just happened with Sidra, I can't come up with anything. Burkhardt notices and sighs, dragging his eyes to Jackson. "She found Roback in the woods," he starts, and I can't help but think should I trust him on this or not. "It must've been more traumatic than we thought because she has nightmares now."
"I can wake her up from a nightmare," Jackson snarls. "Why the hell did you two kick me out?!"
"Because she can't find Roback," Burkhardt continues to answer. Jackson's desperate yet threatening eyes land on me, and I bow my head. Desperate to get to Sidra and threatening to kill us to get out of the way. I'm not scared of him. We both know I can break his arm then beat him with it, but like me, when it comes to Sidra, we'll fight for the end. He loves her, not the same way I do and not as neatly as much, but it's still enough to have some respect for him.
"That whole trip was a mistake," Jackson mutters, his voice less strained. I lift my head and look at both of them. "I knew she was mad at me. I should've done something." His deep voice is now filled with regret and guilt, not for what happened to me but for what happened to Sidra. I honestly can't be mad at him.
"She's strong," I remind him.
"It usually takes a bit to fall back to sleep," Burkhardt lies to Jackson. "You should make her some tea."
"Yeah," he nods, running his hand down his face. He walks away with his shoulders dropped, and I can see-anyone with working eyes can clearly see he's already beating himself up for this. I might respect him for the love he has for my Sidra, but he still abandoned her, he still hurt her. I might not be so impulsive to hurt him but I won't feel sorry for him.
Once Jackson has disappeared down the hall, Burkhardt turns to me. I just now noticed the blood from his lips is gone, but they are turning red and a little bit blue. "I was never going to stab you in the back."
"Can we talk about this later?" I groan, reaching for the doorknob. "Sidra needs me."
"I know!" He rushes out to stop me. "Believe me, I know. I never wanted any of this to happen. I never meant to hurt you or make Sidra feel uncomfortable." I grimace. "But if you don't want me to help anyone-"
"Are you blackmailing me?" I snarl, stepping closer.
"No, I-" he shuts his eyes. Taking a moment to collect himself, he inhales deeply then exhales, opening his eyes again. "I mean if you want me to leave you and Sidra alone, I'll understand. I'll be her bodyguard again and nothing but her bodyguard."
As much as I hate to admit, I just started seeing him as a friend-which made this whole situation much harder-and we do need someone to help cover us. I'm sure if we asked, he'll do it, but how can I trust him? How do I know he won't think of Sidra and me having sex? He made it seem like he was weirded out by the topic before but it could've been jealousy. "Do you actually have feelings for her or is it just sexual?" I ask, the words roll off my tongue like acid.
"I think the alcohol just turned nothing into something."
I roll my eyes. "Pick one, you dumbass."
"Neither, okay?"
I gritted my teeth. Another thing I hate to admit; this isn't my decision to make. I open the door then whisper in a deadly tone, "if she doesn't want you around, you're done."
"When did she tell you?"
"Before we left to the city," I answer then we step into the room. Sidra hasn't moved but I know she's still awake. She wouldn't risk going back to sleep without me, not after a nightmare. "Sidra?"
"Yeah?" She mumbles, turning on her other side, pulling the covers to her chin. I walk over to her while Burkhardt hesitantly takes a few steps into the room.
"Burkhardt's here..."
"Don't kill him. You promised," she reminds me.
"Yeah, I know...but is it okay he's here?"
Her eyes pop open and she sits up, facing us. Her poor posture and foggy eyes scream for sleep, but her voice comes out strong and well awake. "What's going on? What did I miss?" She turns her head, staring at the floor, and asks herself, "am I still sleeping?"
"No, Sidra," I smile and step closer. She's so fucking adorable. I hope she never loses this kid side of her that fills her with endless joy. "Burkhardt-"
"I'm sorry," he rushes out. Sidra looks at me, a pleading look in her eyes then turns to Burkhardt. "I shouldn't have done what I did. It wasn't just wrong as your bodyguard but also as you..." I hear him gulp behind me and Sidra smiles.
"You were scared," she says softly. "And drunk. I understand."
"What the hell is she talking about?" I ask, turning to Burkhardt. "What does she mean 'you were scared?'"
"Nothing," they exclaim in unison. I turn to Sidra.
She pouts, extending her arm out, reaching for me. I groan knowing damn-well I can't argue that. "Please, baby?" I curse under my breath but close the small distance between us. I take her hand while I sit down on the bed. "Thank you." She kisses my cheek before snuggling against my side.
It's not like I had much of a choice. I glance up at Burkhardt and give him a cold look. I'm not sure what they were talking about, but Sidra has forgiven him and that's all that matters. She has, I haven't though-I have to keep that in mind. I doubt he's looking for a friendship with him and me, but if he is, he's going to have to walk through hell before I could even consider him being my friend again.
He nods, understanding my stare then clears his throat. "Jackson will be up in a few minutes."
"Okay," Sidra yawns, pulling away from me. "Grab a sit then."
I grab the armchair nearest while Burkhardt grabs the one in the corner. We pick them up, move them to one side of the bed then put them down, placing them together. We take a seat and already I feel awkward. But then Sidra smiles at me and I remember it's what she wants. This little shit doesn't bother me, not if it makes her happy. I return her grin, leaning forward. A few minutes later, Jackson enters the room, holding two mugs. I can see the little tag from the tea bags hanging on the side of both mugs.
"Here's your cuppa, bubba," he says softly, handing her her mug as she sits up.
"Thank you."
"Why didn't you tell me before?" He pushes.
"Because you weren't speaking to her," I snarl. Jackson's kind eyes turn hateful as they dart to me. I expected a threatening glare, but he looks at me confused, his eyes looking me over. Then his expression turns suspicious as his eyes narrow. "What are you looking at?" I ask impatiently. "It's the truth!" He glances at Burkhardt and almost looks...dumbfounded? What the hell?
"Roback," Sidra pleads. I scoff, pressing my back to the back of the chair. Satisfied with her win, she turns to Jackson. "I felt like Burkhardt and Roback could handle the situation." I want to tell her she's not a situation but bite my tongue instead.
Jackson looks me over once more with a now unreadable look then turns to her. He doesn't even bother to muster up a fake smile for her. "You found and save Roback," he says flatly. I can't see her face due to it being turned to Jackson, but I know she's frowning now. I move, ready to jump up and shut Jackson up, but Burkhardt steps on my foot.
"He still got hurt," Sidra whispers, her voice shaking a little. I frown. Can't Jackson see he's hurting her? I look at him to find his face very guard-like, as if we were interrogating someone. My frown deepens.
"We should go-"
"No!" Jackson nearly shouts, interrupting me. "I'm gonna go." He slams his mug on the nightstand then storms out of the room.
"What the hell was that about?" Sidra asks. I jump up from my seat to sit next to her.
"I dunno," Burkhardt answers. "That was weird."
"I'm sorry I said anything," I tell her. "He must've gotten too annoyed with me." She takes a quick sip of her tea then places her head on my shoulder. I grab her mug and hand it to Burkhardt.
"I didn't need the tea," she mutters.
"My bad," Burkhardt says apologetically. "I wanted to-" I give him a look and he shuts up.