delusion • diluc

By dilucious

500K 18.3K 78.4K

『diluc x f!reader』 ❝ visions are a light in the sea of darkness that surrounds those who have lost their way... More

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summary
sequel

xvii

14.2K 449 1.9K
By dilucious

Pyro / Diluc
_
Profile / Voiceover

About (Y/N): Misunderstandings Sometimes I feel like she makes a joke... but honestly... I never understand them. I try to go along with it occasionally but then I just end up ruining the mood...

About (Y/N): Weakness Oftentimes quests for strength and power can take turns for the worse. Sometimes just believing you are strong is all it takes to become strong. That is (Y/N)'s weakness.

_

• third person •

"A delusion? Are you crazy? You said you wouldn't hurt her!"

She scoffed. Childe grabbed her collar, his eyes burning.

"I won't do this anymore if you even lay a finger on her."

"It's bait, impatient child." She brushed off his hand as if it were a bug, folding her arms. "She won't come back to us if there's nothing to offer."

"A delusion could kill her!"

"She won't actually use it. There won't be any need."

Childe's knuckles became white in his fist.

"How about we come to agreement, hm?" The blonde smirked, tapping her folded arms.

"You rid Diluc Ragnvindr of her heart strings, and I won't touch her. Not even a finger."

Childe was silent.

He knew Diluc was key to her happiness by now... but...

He didn't want her to get hurt. And he wanted her... back...

"...Fine. I'll get rid of him soon. I won't hurt him or anything like that. His deep hatred for the Fatui should be enough for my plan."

She chuckled, an uncontrollable smirk spreading across her lips.

"Good..."

What a foolish boy...

Diluc jumped, blinking in surprise as familiar arms wrapped around his waist.

His eyes softened immediately. "Oh... sorry, I'm still not used to this..."

(Y/N) nuzzled into his neck as she shook her head, as if a silent 'it's okay'. Diluc held the back of her hands quietly.

They were waiting to start the last commission. Lumine was busy improving weapons or something.

"(Y/N)... you know..."

She glanced at Diluc.

"You haven't talked to him in a while..."

Her eyebrow raised. She looked up, noticing the ginger-haired man who was seemed to teasing Paimon over with Lumine.

Their last commission was in Dragonspine. Of course, they were right outside the place. (Y/N) had anticipated this, but didn't expect it to happen this way.

Suddenly, the chill in the air didn't feel as nice as it used to.

"At least," she laughed uneasily, "you won't feel jealous now! It's a win!"

Diluc's face scrunched for a moment. "Don't limit relationships with others for me. I trust you. I'm not stupid."

(Y/N) looked away. She'd hoped that excuse would work but...

(Y/N) just couldn't face him after what happened last time they spoke.

It wasn't as if she could tell Diluc either. After she cried to him that day, as embarrassing as it was, she was glad he never questioned it, but at the same time... she knew he was secretly curious. She could see it in his eyes.

Even with the encounter with... her... There was no doubt he was worried Childe was acquainted with her.

And he was. But (Y/N) knew he would never try to hurt her. (Y/N) didn't even understand why they were working together.

She treated them like shit just because she was treated like shit. There was no way Childe made the conscious decision to work with her without reason.

Then again... Childe wasn't very reasonable in the first place.

But the reason being just to bring her back? Why does she need to be back in Snezhnaya? Childe said he's barely home himself, so why would he want her back?

It made no sense. No fucking sense at all.

Of course, (Y/N) missed her homeland... but it was her homeland that abandoned her in the first place.

Plus, if she'd stayed, she'd probably...

(Y/N) fiddled with her hands, slightly glancing at Diluc.

She'd probably end up becoming one of his worst enemies...

Diluc caught her gaze. He leaned down a little, running his hand through her hair, leaving a small kiss on her cheek. (Y/N) sighed quietly.

"Okay... I'll try talking to him..." she mumbled.

Diluc smiled. "You can do it. I'll keep my distance. I doubt he'll loosen up with me around."

"Thanks, Diluc..."

One of her eyes closed as their noses bumped. She couldn't help but giggle quietly. Diluc's head tilted in endearment.

"It's nothing," he said softly. "Go on."

Eventually, the team followed Lumine into Dragonspine. The whole time (Y/N) stayed slightly ahead of Diluc, yet slightly behind Childe.

This took more mental preparation than she thought.

Lumine seemed to have gotten distracted exploring. Childe had stopped at a red, ore-looking thing.

He turned, his eyes almost sparkling, before they fell upon (Y/N).

His gaze fell. He turned away again.

Ah...

(Y/N) felt a pat on her back. It was Diluc.

"You can do it," he whispered.

She nodded, slowly approaching Childe.

"Ch...Childe..." She tapped his shoulder.

Childe glanced at her, his eyes wide.

"Hey." She smiled uneasily. "Long time no speak."

Childe was silent. (Y/N) looked away.

He scratched his head, kicking the snow slightly beneath him.

"You know these rocks," he suddenly spoke, "when you break them, they keep you warm. Did you know?"

(Y/N) blinked.

She broke out into a laugh.

"Yeah. They're quite useful when you don't have fire."

"Do you come here often?"

(Y/N) gazed off for a moment, the chilling breeze rushing through her skin.

"Yeah. It's nice. Nostalgic even."

Gradually, they met eyes. There was a sorrowful glimmer in his that almost let her guilt swallow her whole.

She broke eye contact, turning slightly to try and get her boyfriend's attention. He was quite some distance away, though his attention had been on her from the start.

Diluc simply smiled, nodding at her in affirmation.

"Say... Childe..." Diluc had caught his attention. Childe was quick to interrupt.

"Are you really telling me that guy isn't your boyfriend? Look at the way he looks at you. That guy is in love."

(Y/N) raised an eyebrow, blood rapidly rushing towards her cheeks.

In love..?

"Some things... may have happened... haha."

It took Childe a moment. His whole body rose in realisation.

"Oh!"

(Y/N)'s face reddened.

"And he's okay with you talking to me? Does he know our past..? You told him... right?" His eyes continuously flickered between her and Diluc a few metres behind, who was now lighting a fire for Lumine.

Hmm...

"Yeah... he's the one who told me to talk to you..."

"Well." Childe folded his arms, staring at the red-haired man from the distance. "I'll make sure not to make any more moves on you, that's for sure. He seems like a gentle guy but I've heard he's a Fatui killer. Damn, no wonder he can't step foot in Snezhnaya."

(Y/N) cocked a brow. "So the only reason you'd stop is because my boyfriend could kill you and not because I want you to stop?"

A cold sweat ran down Childe's back. He rapidly shook his head, his hands with them.

"That's- That's not what I meant! You know that, (Y/N)."

She folded her arms, averting her gaze. A frown took on Childe's lips.

He sighed, grazing his boots against the blankets of snow beneath them.

"By the way, Childe," (Y/N) continued to avoid his gaze, "I'm sorry for what I said last time. I'm an adult yet I let a silly little mood swing get the better of me. Sorry."

Childe nodded, but didn't say anything. Soft pieces of snow rushed through the wind.

"It's okay. I was in the wrong too."

His pupils slowly reached Diluc again. The awkwardness of this situation was killing him.

"Say," of course he was going to change the topic... "if I called that Diluc over here right now, where do you think would be the first place he'd touch you? I'm thinking he's an ass grabber."

"You fucking weirdo."

"Hey, Mister Diluc! Your girlfriend wants you!"

(Y/N) watched in dread as Diluc looked up, pulling an almost surprised face as his pupils darted between the two. Lumine thanked him for the fire, telling him to go. He nodded though in bewilderment.

He approached them cautiously. What did the Fatui want with him?

"What is it?"

Diluc stood by (Y/N)'s side. He glanced at her, noticing how her eyes were now fixed on the ground again.

He patted her head in concern. (Y/N) looked up at him.

He smiled softly. Childe folded his arms.

Wow, he thought to himself.

"Something wrong?" he asked quietly. It was as if Childe's presence had magically disappeared.

"Nothing. He's just stupid. Let's go."

Without warning, (Y/N) grabbed Diluc's hand, rushing away from the scene.

He never takes me seriously. Barbatos knows why I ever fucked him.

Whatever... if his plan is to bring me back home, he's failing miserably.

"A-ow."

(Y/N) winced, stepping back, the tip of her claymore digging into the ground.

Diluc glanced at her in concern, before fending off the last of the hilichurls. It was as if he'd teleported to her side the moment he was done.

"Did you hurt yourself? Here, let me..."

(Y/N) shook her head. "It's just a scratch." A hilichurl had shot straight past her arm: if it were even a millimetre to the side she definitely would've been penetrated.

Diluc sighed, pulling out a few first aid things he carried around more often now.

"Even a scratch can become infected." A wipe appeared in his hand. "Let me."

(Y/N) watched in defeat as Diluc began to tend to the wound. It wasn't bleeding a lot, so it must've been fine for him.

"What's wrong?" he asked, gently pulling her closer. "We're supposed to be testing your claymore skills yet you seem hesitant. Are you scared?"

His voice was soft. She could tell he wasn't mocking her in any way.

"It's not that..."

"You've seemed quite upset ever since earlier. With Childe. I'm sorry I made you talk to him, if this was the outcome...."

"It was my decision..." Their heads bumped for a moment. Diluc was focussed on (Y/N)'s wound yet his cheeks reddened slightly at the touch. "It's not as if it were for the worse. He just... Sometimes it seems he only cares for me as if I'm a pretty little... Ugh... never mind."

"He doesn't see you as... you, you mean?"

Hesitantly, (Y/N) nodded, though slightly unsure. It didn't help when she thought about the comments he'd make about Diluc too.

Diluc wasn't like him. Diluc was gentle, like a fluffy teddy bear, without a driving thirst for the thrill of battle and- whatever else. And... (Y/N) loved his pure (well mostly) mind too. She didn't feel pressured to do anything.

And he listened. He understood. He took her seriously.

"Perhaps distancing yourself from him would be for the better then," Diluc suggested, packing away the rest of the unneeded kit after he was done. He instantly spread out his arms, allowing her to fall into them. "Staying around people who aren't healthy for your mind will only make you feel worse."

He ran his fingers through her hair, nuzzling her head gently. She looked up at him.

"I guess..." He's still my friend though...

With a warm smile, Diluc pecked her lips. She blinked, immediately blushing in surprise.

"You don't have to put up with anything that makes you uncomfortable. You don't deserve it."

(Y/N) looked off into the trees of Mondstadt. She nodded silently.

The wind had picked up.

"Is there anything else bothering you? I can always listen."

(Y/N) hid her face, clutching his figure, drowning in his warmth.

"I don't think I'm good enough with the claymore yet..."

"We're still working on it. Trust the process."

She pursed her lips. "I know... it's just... I'm used to being able to see all the enemies in front of me, and attacking from afar. But using a claymore and only being able to focus on a few – it feels as if I'm always open from my blind spot..."

Diluc's eyes fluttered shut. The corners of his lips turned upwards. "We can work on that. Thank you for telling me."

Silence fell between them. Leaves rustled restlessly through the trees.

Moonlight was scattered in the dim grass, hilichurl camps laying empty before them.

Diluc frowned slightly against her. Something still felt amiss.

"Anything else..?"

And Diluc was right. Her heart still felt so heavy, like a weight was pulling down on it.

Taking the weights off her shoulders was fine, but the heart was a different story.

(Y/N) stared at the grass, as Diluc continued to brush her hair with his fingers.

"What makes you think that there's anything else..?"

"I can tell..."

A soft exhale left her. She gradually released him. Her eyes were fixed on the ground.

"Let's go home. It'll be more private there. Come here."

Diluc bent down, causing her to stare down at him in confusion.

Oh?

She jumped on his back. Diluc lifted her with ease.

"Really, Diluc..?"

Diluc simply smiled, carrying her the rest of the way home.

• • •

"Hm? A picture?"

"Yeah," echoes of glass bottles rang through the tavern, "I need a picture of... a blue thing."

Kaeya chuckled, his eyebrow raising in amusement. "You never fail to entertain me, dear traveller. Of course you may take a picture! In fact..."

Kaeya glanced at the woman next to him. Drunk out of her mind, as usual. Perhaps a perfect opportunity.

"How about you take a picture of me and my good friend here?"

• • •

"Sleepy?"

"A little... Thinking is exhausting..."

Diluc placed her down onto the bed delicately, quickly climbing in next to her. He placed his hand upon hers.

"You should rest for a bit then. I can get dinner ready."

(Y/N)'s eyebrows knitted for a moment. The sheets beneath her hands scrunched. She shook her head.

"...Or I can listen to anything you need to say. I'm all ears."

"...Thank you..."

Diluc's lips curved, leaving a gentle kiss on her forehead. She blushed, grasping his hand.

"It's..." She sighed. "It's just..."

She hid her face in her palm, before running her hand through her hair.

"I'm scared..."

Diluc tilted his head.

"I'm scared of the past... Why is everything coming back up..? I just want to forget everything... I..."

"I hate thinking... I hate having thoughts... I just wish my mind was constantly blank and that everything would just happen in the spur of the moment and then it'd be done and over with and that- I just... hate this feeling. This hopelessness... It feels like I can't do anything to stop everything from coming back..."

"Diluc... I don't know what to do... I'm trying to get stronger and I try to be braver yet this feeling... Am I just being overdramatic? This feeling of... doom... What am I doing wrong? I just want to forget it all..."

"I just hate the fact that I constantly rely on a distraction... It's like I'm never improving... Why am I always stuck in one place..? I'm still the same as I used to be, no matter how hard I try to be better..."

The room fell silent. Diluc's gaze remained on (Y/N), examining her silently as she stared at the wooden floor, head in her hands. She wasn't crying right now... Perhaps the tears she had let out before went with the words she had said today.

"From your own point of view," Diluc began, ruffling her hair gently, "it may seem that you are stuck in one place. It's hard to see self-improvement when there's always that one voice in your head that tells you you aren't doing well. But from a second person's point of view... Many would be able to tell. And... there's nothing wrong with distractions, as long as they aren't damaging... You're doing really well in my opinion. I know my opinion may not be as significant to you but... I hope I can help you feel the same about yourself too someday."

"It seems you've been keeping this in for a long time. Even if I can't help you in that way, it makes me glad that you trust me enough to let me bear even a little off your shoulders... I don't want you to keep this all in. Thank you for telling me. I can't say I'm any better at... the way I do things... so I'm not the best at giving advice... but I'll always listen."

(Y/N) hid her face further in her hands.

Diluc could see drops seeping through her fingers.

"(Y/N)... come here..."

She crawled straight into his arms, sobbing quietly into his shoulder.

So there were a few more tears left to cry after all...

"I want to say something so cheesy right now, Diluc," (Y/N) laughed between sobs.

"Go on." He smiled. "I doubt it's as cheesy as what I just said."

(Y/N) sniffled, wiping her eyes against her gloves. She sat up in his lap, and before they knew it their noses were touching.

"I don't know what I did to deserve you... I can't believe I used to treat you badly... You mean everything to me now."

"I hope you don't think... I'm using you as a distraction... I genuinely... genuinely... love you... I love you a lot..."

Diluc's eyes widened at those words.

"Y- R-really..?"

"Why would I be in a relationship with you if I didn't..?"

Diluc blushed, looking down in embarrassment.

Of course he loved her too... but saying it...

(Y/N)'s fingers caressed his cheek in the silence that fell between them.

"Of course not... my love..."

(Y/N) looked up at him, before her pupils fell to his lips.

"Call me that again."

"My..." Diluc's face reddened. "My love."

Her lips curved upwards. "I like that."

She leaned in.

"I like it a lot..."

Diluc already knew this wasn't going to be the same as their first kiss. Even so... butterflies still cluttered around in his stomach.

(Y/N)'s eyelashes fluttered, his soft breaths fanning against her face. She gently pushed him down against the bed, her gaze travelling between his crimson eyes and his smooth, pink lips.

A lingering silence settled between them. Diluc stared at her with narrowed eyes, their mouths slightly parted.

Although his wrist was being pinned against the bed, her grasp was gentle, but either way it sent butterflies throughout his stomach.

Their noses brushed against each other. Her hand slipped into his palm.

Their lips finally met.

It was a gentle kiss, like the petals of a rose, soft and sweet. A small, almost silent sound escaped Diluc in pleasure, instantly pasting a smile on (Y/N)'s face through the kiss.

She pulled away for a second to say something.

Diluc's free hand wrapped around the back of her head. He instantly tugged her back. Her eyebrows jumped.

"Shh," he said against her lips. Suddenly he was sitting up again, (Y/N) in his lap, attached to each other once again.

The rose's petals had become rough, but still pretty, and most definitely still sweet.

(Y/N) still clutched his hand, her grip tightening when her lungs began to burn, but she didn't want to stop.

Diluc eventually pulled away. The pair of them gasped for breath.

The intimacy she had with Diluc felt nothing like the intimacy she used to have with Childe...

It didn't feel empty anymore. It didn't feel like a chore, or like something that had to be done.

It didn't feel draining. It just felt... full of... love. And care...

A sudden knock interrupted their moment. Diluc glanced at the door.

His hand wrapped around (Y/N)'s waist.

"Yes?"

"Sorry, Master Diluc... There's... um... there's a visitor."

That sounded like Elzer, (Y/N) recalled.

Diluc blinked, his eyebrows furrowing. A visitor at this time? Even his maids' shifts were ending now.

"Who is it?"

(Y/N) felt his shoulders tensing. It seemed he didn't like it when they were interrupted. Cutie.

There was a pause on the other side of the door. (Y/N) rubbed his shoulders gently.

"It's... Master Kaeya, sir. He's requested for Miss (Y/N)."

(Y/N) blinked, looking at Diluc in surprise.

"It's probably just some knight stuff. I'll be back."

"W-wait..."

(Y/N)'s head tilted. Diluc's cheeks reddened.

She smiled, running her fingers through his hair as she gave him a gentle kiss.

"There."

Diluc returned the smile, looking away. He released her waist.

"Come back quick."

"I will." (Y/N) beamed.

When (Y/N) had left the room, Elzer had already scurried back downstairs to tell Kaeya that she was coming. She glanced at the bottom floor from the balcony, and it indeed was that eyepatch-wearing man.

She wondered how exactly he knew she was here, but then again even she could work it out. She just wanted to know what exactly he needed at this time, especially if that meant he would even come to the winery himself.

(Y/N) didn't exactly know Kaeya's past in terms of this place, but she definitely knew that he hadn't been here for a long while.

She reached the bottom of the stairs soon enough, and was quick to be escorted to the front door by Elzer, as if she was some sort of noble lady. Elzer nodded at the pair, before scurrying off almost immediately.

Kaeya smiled a closed-eye smile. "Hey. Didn't interrupt anything, did I?"

He examined her silently. He was very much aware he had interrupted something.

(Y/N) scratched her head, with a laugh that was even more telling than words.

"My, it's been a while since I last stepped foot in here," Kaeya sighed, his face softening as his gaze wandered, "brings me back."

A certain vase caught his eye. His gaze trailed in silence.

Hah... it doesn't fit the exterior at all...

"You need me?" (Y/N) interrupted his moment of reminisce.

"Ah, yes."

Kaeya ruffled through his pocket, his face only visible from the dim lights of the winery. Night had fallen. The moon was nowhere to be seen.

(Y/N) folded her arms. He'd pulled out a piece of paper.

A chilling breeze bit against her skin.

It was a photo.

He gazed at it for a moment, like he was admiring himself in a mirror. (Y/N) raised an eyebrow, tiptoeing in attempt to look at it.

"What's that?"

"Oh, nothing much. Our dear traveller was going around taking pictures of coloured things for some strange reason, and today was a blue thing. I suppose I was the blue thing."

(Y/N) snorted. Kaeya looked away for a moment, with a misleading smirk.

"So of course I took the chance to take a flawless picture of me, though there seems to be a bit of... a flea in there."

"Do I look like a photo editor?"

Kaeya chuckled, shaking his head. "Of course, no, that is not what I'm asking you of. I'd just like to ask if you recognise it."

He turned the picture.

"Or rather, her."

The wind roared in the silence that collapsed upon the pair.

(Y/N) stepped back. Her eyes were wide. Her pupils shook.

Of course. Of course. Diluc told her she visited the tavern often. There was no doubt Kaeya was aquainted with her.

Yet... how did he know... she knew her..?

Kaeya... She didn't want Kaeya to know anything. Diluc already knew enough- Kaeya- Kaeya couldn't...

(Y/N) glanced behind her. She pushed Kaeya out, shutting the winery door behind them.

Kaeya simply smiled. (Y/N) already knew his ways.

"It's not how you think it is."

Kaeya folded his arms, glancing at the picture once again. "Oh, don't worry. I'm not judging. I just wanted to know if you know her. She seems to be quite interested in you. As your captain, and your friend, I'm only looking out for you. There's many dangerous people out in this world."

How much did he know..? Did Diluc tell him anything? Did he find out from her?

Fuck...

Usually when (Y/N) didn't want to say anything Kaeya would get the hint and change the subject. It didn't seem the case today.

She rubbed her arm in the coolness of the breeze. Kaeya watched, waiting silently for her answer.

"What're you going to do? You can't touch her. She's-"

Kaeya raised an eyebrow. (Y/N) cursed beneath her breath.

"I won't do anything if you don't want me to. It's up to you, my precious subordinate."

"Well? She's..?"

(Y/N) pursed her lips. A silent sigh escaped her.

Her nails grazed against her palms, her heart falling heavier by the second.

"She's..."

(Y/N) stared at the ground. Her eyebrows furrowed.

"She's the Eighth Fatui Harbinger, La Signora..."

Kaeya's mouth fell open slightly.

"...'s sister."

• •

all that suspense and it's an oc🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣 LMAO anyway all will be explained yes ik abt La Signora and who she is dw it will all make seenseee

also pls don't tell me i'm not the only one who remembers that event with the kurious kamera and how annoying it was trying to find things with the right colour omg i think it was around lantern rite

anyway i would just like to say I PROMISE I DONT HATE CHILDE tbh theres no real villain in this story and you'll get what i mean by the end😋

i wonder what kaeya and diluc are up to

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