HARD TIMES ━ lip gallagher²

By burkhqrt

648K 19.7K 3.1K

❝you know, when you're all bruised up and bloody, you kind of look like a penis.❞ ❝i think that's the nicest... More

season five
01 | the panama canal
02 | no idea
03 | the fourth of july
04 | this whore declared war
05 | false promises
06 | i dare you...
07 | best sexy bitches
08 | men are useless
09 | five days
10 | lumpy old hag
11 | my little pony
𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘪𝘹
01 | too hot for you
02 | mars bars
03 | things change
04 | just pop out twins
05 | i'm selling your nuts on ebay
06 | awkward
07 | frozen peas
08 | jail cell
09 | thinking with the wrong head
10 | wedding bells
𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯
01 | spy mission
02 | more tricks
03 | my stalker
04 | cockblock
05 | karma
06 | newly engaged
07 | vogue's seventy-three questions
08 | christmas savior
09 | popcorn
10 | long lost prince of england
11 | news flash
12 | sister of satan
13 | bacon
14 | you're strong; you're brave
extra | logan & payton
𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵
01 | old man dick
02 | hulk smash
03 | mom-sister in me
04 | st. francis of the southside
05 | you've gotten balder
06 | walmart
07 | bust a nut
08 | let's roll
09 | lord thundercunt
𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘦
01 | fifty bucks
02 | shim
03 | i'm your girlfriend, not your therapist
04 | premartial sex
05 | self awareness is hard
06 | i know i'm amazing
07 | pride and prejudice
08 | i'm sweating my tits off
09 | home sweet home
10 | vegetable super hero
11 | excited barf
12 | cheers
13 | gone
𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘦𝘯
01 | in your dreams
02 | birth mucus
03 | you look like a raccoon
04 | gremlin
05 | kick them in the face
06 | attention whore
07 | space mountain
08 | aunt oopie
10 | that floor needs a therapy session
11 | groomzilla
12 | shit show
13 | our kid
𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯
01 | piss, corpse, and alcohol
02 | sex addiction
03 | redhead regina george
04 | bitch slap
05 | nostalgic
06 | alaska
07 | earth to einstein
08 | zoo keeper
09 | hobo hank
10 | we just hate debbie
11 | gold star
12 | i haven't pooped in three days
13 | throuple representation
14 | rolling pin
15 | the answer is yes
carl fic

09 | nine and a half

4.8K 173 9
By burkhqrt

"IAN!" AMARA SHRIEKED, SHIELDING her eyes from the light and pulling the blanket over her close-to-bare body. He barely seemed to hear her as he peered out the window, drawing the blinds during the process. "What the hell are doing, asshole?! It's seven am."

"You don't hear that?" He asked, looking at her for the first time. Amara stared at him and attempted to listen to whatever sound he was referring to, and could make out nothing. "How the hell did you sleep through it?"

"Freddie kept us up all night. Even Oopie couldn't figure out how to make him stop."

"You trust that woman? She told me last night that I should dye my hair so I'd have a better chance at finding a wife because my lifestyle is the sin of all sins and I'm lucky I haven't been hanged yet."

"Oh, wow," Amara scratched her head in shock. "I thought what she said to me was bad. She told me I can't wear tanktops because my boobs are too big for them and it's inappropriate, and I'm sexualizing myself by having them. And that I should get a reduction. But that's like nothing compared to that."

"You do have boobs now."

She scrunched her nose at him, still wincing from the sun. "One of the only plusses of carrying an eight pounder and then pushing it out of your cooch I guess."

Ian looked briefly concerned. "Seven pounds? The fuck were you eating?"

Amara rolled her eyes. "Anyway, Lip decided to take him out for a walk over an hour ago since I have work later. Why are you uh..." She trailed off and gave him a once over. "Am I hallucinating or did you break your leg?"

Ian clenched his jaw and turned and walked (cruched himself?) out of the room without a response. Amara shook her head mutely in disbelief and flopped back onto the pillows and into the warmth of the bed once more.

"Want a piece?" Lip asked, holding up a stick of gum in her direction, and Amara shook her head while resuming to drink a Gatorade.

"You know what I wish?" She asked, screwing the cap back on and adjusting the purse Joe had bought her years ago on her shoulder. Lip cocked his head at her. "I wish we were rich enough to get, like, Starbucks every morning. I've always wanted to try one of those pumpkin drinks y'know? But I'm not paying thirty bucks for that shit."

"It's a good thing you hate coffee then," Lip replied, sticking the pack of gum into one of his pockets.

"I should start to learn to love it with that screaming kid of ours."

"Fuck you!" A woman's voice shouted from around the corner, instantly Lip absentmindedly moved to grab her hand as they both turned to glance near the sound. "Fuck, you, you shitty shit-fuck."

Amara bit the inside of her cheek once she saw the woman repeatedly hitting the ATM that was right outside of the store they'd just been in. "Hey, everything all right?" Lip questioned as they approached.

"No," the woman answered. "I put my card in for a withdrawal, and this piece of shit never spit out my cash." She scoffed and shook her head. "I'm just gonna go talk to someone inside."

Amara eyed the device as they passed, still walking with him as a homeless man called out to them. "Spare some change?"

"I ain't got nothing," Lip told him, but the man only shifted his gaze to Amara, and the bag around her arm.

"You ain't got nothing huh? Then what's that nice purse doing around your bitch's shoulder?"

Amara narrowed her eyes and felt Lip tense from besides her. "I can stick it somewhere else if you don't mind your fucking business."

The ATM behind them buzzed, and without giving the homeless man a chance to respond, Lip tugged her back towards it. She anxiously looked over his shoulder as he took it out from the slot. "I feel like most girlfriend's would lecture me for this."

She smirked at him. "Guess I'm just better than every other girlfriend in the world."

Lip threw his arm around her and kissed her temple as they walked. "Looks like you got your wish. Let's go to Starbucks."

"Why am I here again?" Amara asked, sluggishly dropping onto a stool with a yawn hours later after work. She looked around the Alibi casually—it seemed like it had been forever since she'd last been there. It was hard to believe she was working behind that counter only a couple of years prior.

"Mickey has freakishly small hands," Ian answered her. It was then she realized the amount of rings sprawled out on a cloth over the pool table. "And so do you. Try this one on. Liam said it'd go good with Mickey's skin tone."

Amara had to blink rapidly to understand what he was saying. "Wait, what? You're proposing to Mickey?!"

"Yes, woman," Ian rolled his eyes and gestured for her hand. She gave it to him as Liam returned from the bathroom. "What do you think?"

Liam lifted her hand towards the overhead light. "Brushed white gold, matte finish, round edges. Tastefully simple. I approve."

Amara had to stop her heart from racing. She was wearing an engagement ring—the one Ian had given her ages ago was tucked safely underneath her clothes in a dresser. He was right, though. Lip would never do it. If she wanted to get married, she'd be the person on one knee.

She hadn't really even thought about it until right then, but she forced her mind back to the present. "So Lip's the purse expert and Liam's the nine year old ring expert."

"I'm ten."

Amara shot him a look. "You're nine and a half."

Ian glanced between them before looking back to the seller. "How much for the two of 'em?"

"Four hundred each."

"Nope," the three of them answered in unison. The seller sighed.

"Uh, four hundred for the pair. Final offer."

Liam nodded his head. "It's on aunt Oopie."

Amara felt her lips form into a grin. "Did you steal from her?"

"If I say yes will you be mad?"

"No, fuck that bitch. The least she can do is pay for the rings for a gay couple. She'll be turning in her grave for the rest of eternity when she finds out."

Ian beamed at her. "I knew we kept you around for a reason."

a/n

lip: *steals*
tami: NOOO!!! stealing bad!!! everybody hide ur wallets lip's here!!!! don't want this kind of role model for my kid😒😒😒

vs

lip: *steals*
amara: YESSS!!! that's my baby!!!! goooo!!!! get that coin!!!! steal a bagel while ur at it hot stuff!!!!

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