Hailey's POV
"Have you told him yet?" Milo questions as he speed walks on the treadmill beside mine.
I look behind me, towards where Isaac's dad is standing, he's towards the back of the gym with Don, as Don shows him a folder filled with loads and loads of papers as Carmelo chugs his yellow gatorade, a clearly annoyed look on his face.
I shake my head no as I continue to softly jog on my treadmill.
Milo and I have been training every single morning together for the past two weeks now. Milo does his physical therapy for his shoulder as I train one on one with the big guy himself.
Apparently, him taking time out of his mornings has really set him back with work because the time that he would use to have morning meetings with his men, he now chose to spend it with me, trying to create a little badass who can defend and save her ass without having to rely on a man.
I'm also not an early morning person and Carmelo picked up on this quickly and actually pushed training time to 9am rather than 7am, which I completely appreciate because both Matteo men are up at the crack of dawn breaking a sweat.
Milo's actually already up and at the warehouse by the time I show up for my training. Things were definitely pretty awkward for the first few days, I didn't want to be anywhere near him, nor did he want anything to do with me, but my charm always reals everyone in.
Milo's actually the one who broke the ice first, I had no intentions in being his friend. He bluntly admitted one morning if he was extra rude that I accept his apology right there and then because it was his brothers, Fonzy's birthday, and he wasn't taking it lightly, I simply offered to hear him out if he needed someone to talk to.
He of course didn't open up and vent to me, not that I expected him to, Milo's the type of guy who didn't trust easily and believe me I in no way trusted the man either.
I just so happen to tell him yesterday morning that my dad and I are actually planning to go to breakfast together tomorrow morning and I didn't know how to tell the man that I wasn't coming to training, especially after he chewed my ass out for missing a couple days ago. Isaac and I went on a double date with Dion and Angela to dinner and a bar and did a little more drinking than we intended and slept through every one of his alarms.
I didn't need Carmelo's approval or permission to go have breakfast with my dad, I was going regardless of his answer. I just hate feeling like I'm letting him down after he told me he was disappointed with me that day at the hospital.
Isaac and I both got an earful after we made it back home from Carmelo and I was so sure that he was going to put his hands on Isaac at one point, but surprisingly he didn't, thank god.
He made it very clear that should we ever disrespect him like that and go behind his back, we wouldn't just be burying one body but two and that was enough for me to beg Isaac to just leave things alone, Ric's a big boy if he wants to continue destroying his life to just let him be, if he doesn't learn anything after this then there's nothing else we could do for him.
To our surprise Ric did pick up his act, according to Isaac he was at rocall the next morning, which we totally weren't expecting him to be back so soon, he had the chance to get away with Carmen so they can be happy together and he didn't take it, he choose to actually come back, for everyone's safety of course.
I've actually been thinking a lot about Carmen and the letter she mentioned. A part of me wants to go get it, get a little type of comfort, but then again a part of me wants nothing to do with it because my brain is programmed to automatically expect the worst and I'm afraid of what it'll say.
I wouldn't even know what to say to the guys for wanting to go into the city, It's been nearly impossible to go anywhere without Isaac or Mr. Mattoe's men with everything that's been going on.
I've gone to visit my dad a couple times and have had literally a small army of men hovering from afar to ensure my safety, I can't go out anywhere, if I want to hangout with Angela it has to be either at her house or at Isaac's house.
Placing my hand on the red button I bring my treadmill to a complete stop and turn to look at Milo, "here goes nothing."
"May God be without," he smirks.
"Shut up!" I smack him on his left arm and he's instantly wincing, it's his arm that's still healing from his bullet wound.
I flash him an unapologetic smile and hop off of the machine, and reach for my towel that's laying on a bench nearby. Carmelo is instantly looking in my direction and is then looking down at the watch on his wrist.
Oh god he already seems like he's in a bad mood.
I quickly pat my face and neck from any sweat and slowly make my way towards Carmelo and Donny.
"You better have a damn good reason why you got off of that treadmill early, Hailey," he grumbles once I'm a couple feet away.
I begin to fiddle with the white small rag that's still in my hands, "uh I actually need to talk to you."
Mr. Matteo is quickly glancing down at my hands and is dismissing Donny, "go check on Sax."
Donny doesn't hesitate and is instantly leaving our side a second later, "I'm listening," he says as he reaches for the towel in my hand.
"Sorry," I mumble.
Carmelo pointed out a while back that one of my nervous signs was me fiddling with my hands, or with whatever I did have in hand.
I inhale a deep breath and stand up straight.
"I won't be training tomorrow morning, I'll be having breakfast with my dad instead."
Carmelo throws the white rag over his bare shoulder, "okay."
"Okay?" I frown a little confused, I can't tell if he's upset or not.
"Okay," he smirks, shrugging his shoulders.
"Oh- okay, thank you," mutter.
Carmelo chuckles softly, "you looked puzzled, were you expecting a different answer?"
Yes.
"No, I just, uh- the conversation didn't go so smoothly in my head a few minutes ago."
Carmelo's chuckle turns into a genuine deep laugh, "communication is key, as long as there's communication I have no reason to be upset." I smile and nod my head. "Why don't you head home, I think you've done enough for one morning."
"Thank you," I smile. "See you at dinner?"
"I wouldn't be anywhere else," he smiles.
I smile and dismiss myself making my way back up onto the main level of the warehouse, texting Rolo, one of Mr. Matteo's men that I'm ready to go because he's the one who's been bringing me to my training since I'm not allowed to drive myself and find him standing near the exit when I finally make it out of the basement area.
We load up into the truck and he drives me home, dropping me off at the front door. I pull my phone out of my pocket to check to see if Isaac has called or texted me, him and Dion are in Queens today handling some business for Mr. Matteo so he probably won't be calling me anything soon.
I plug my phone onto my charger once I've made it upstairs to Isaac's bedroom and instantly head into the shower. I take about a good thirty minutes there, standing under the running water, sulking, and come to the conclusion that I won't just stay home bored waiting for Isaac to come home.
I need to read that letter, I want to read her letter, I need to go get Carmen's letter and right now's the perfect time. Isaac's out of town, Carmelo's busy with a million other things, I probably won't get another chance like this in a while.
With everything going on I think it's best that I actually take some backup and protection in case anything should happen.
I climb out of the shower and wrap a towel around me and walk back out into the bedroom, walking back over to Isaac's nightstand. Pulling my phone off of the charger I go straight to Ian's messages.
I haven't really seen or heard from him in a little over a week, he hasn't really been around, but then again I haven't really left the house for anything and he's never at the warehouse when I'm there.
I quickly text my message out before I can change my mind and send it.
"Ian?"
He replies almost instantly which takes me by surprise, "Ms. Hailey?" He questions.
I smile and ask, "what are you doing?"
"Uh working?" he replies a couple seconds later and I'm instantly laughing to myself, I can hear the awkwardness in the message, I can hear the confusion in his voice.
"Are you busy busy?"
Ian replies about a minute later, "I'm always available for you, Hailey, that's kind of how this works, I work for YOU, what's up?"
"Can we go into the city? I need something from my apartment."
Ian opens the message but doesn't reply right away like he has been and I immediately get discouraged, that's probably a no, he's probably asking either Carmelo or Isaac for clearance and that immediately annoys me, I don't need them worrying about me.
I'm about to exit out of Ian's message thread when the typing bubble pops up and a message is coming in a second later, "on my way."
I quickly smile to myself and reply with thank you and make my way into the closet to get out of this towel and into some decent clothes.
Bevens is at the bedroom door about fifteen minutes later as I'm finishing up my hair to inform me that Ian is down stairs waiting for me, Milo mentioned the other day at practice that ever since I moved in no one besides the family is allowed on the second level of the house, and Mr. Matteo's men are to never make it past the hallway entrance unless given the okay.
Carmelo has made it very clear that should anyone ever make me feel uncomfortable again they would be answering to him personally, meaning that they're gonna end up sleeping with the fishes.
I quickly make my way downstairs to find Ian standing near the door, his hands behind his back as usual, his attention always down at the floor.
He glances over in my direction as he picks up on my footsteps, shooting a half ass smile in my direction, "ready?"
I smile and nod my head.
"How's the leg?" He questions as he reaches for the front door, he opens it allowing me to step through first.
"Better," I answer, "completely healed," I smile and walk out of the house, quickly coming to a stop when I see Beanie standing near the black SUV, he's getting off of the phone, shoving it into his jacket.
My heart immediately flutters at the sight of him, I haven't seen him in a couple weeks, since the day of the hospital in fact.
He turns to look in my direction and I'm immediately running towards him, wrapping my arms around him.
I feel him stiffen the second I go in and hug him but he doesn't pull me off of him like I imagine he would. In fact I feel him take a deep breath as he embraces me back, "hey sport."
"Where have you been?!" I instantly tighten my grip.
He chuckles softly unwrapping his arms from me and I take that as my cue to do the same and give him some space.
"I needed some time to get my head right," he answers honestly.
My heart immediately aches for him and everything that he had to go through. Marv wasn't just Beanie's partner, Isaac said that he was his best friend, Elias was the guy to recruit him, convince Carmelo to give him a shot so in a way he feels like he failed his boss and best friend.
This whole time I thought that Isaac's father was the one who fired at Marv, hitting him in the hand causing him to drop his weapon but it was Beanie from the get go. He was with the Matteo's for a good seven years according to Isaac, and in less than ten minutes Elias was putting an end to that.
"How are you doing? Are you okay?"
Beanie reaches for the back passenger door, ignoring my questions, "ready to go?"
I don't bother pushing the subject and smile, "are you back on Hailey watch?"
Beanie laughs softly, "I am, now what is so important that can't be replaced here?"
"My moms necklace," I answered.
I technically wasn't lying, leaving in such a hurry a month ago, completely unorganized, I forgot to grab her little jewelry box that I had tucked away in my dresser. I've been meaning to go back and get it but things have been so hectic here that I just couldn't find the time, nor could I get away from Carmelo's bodyguards, hence why Beanie and Ian are present.
Before my mom passed away my dad bought her a beautiful gold necklace with a little gold heart for their last anniversary together and my brother knew how attached I was to that damn necklace that he went out of his way to get it customized and added my moms birthstone in the middle of it.
I recently started taking it off after Isaac gifted me the necklace he bought for me. I always wore one or the other so whenever I took Isaac's off I put my mothers on viceversa.
Beanie doesn't say anything in return and is taking a step back as he opens the door, "very well, let's get going, we're not exactly driving down the street.
***
The drive into the city is painful and long unfortunately, Ian nor Beanie uttered one single word, which was normal for Ian, but Elias used to try and spark a conversation here and there.
I actually pulled my earphones out of my bag and put them in to avoid the tedious silence and pulled them off when we were about a block away.
Ian and I we're currently in the elevator in my apartment building going up to my floor, as Beanie waits down in the lobby, he decided that it would probably best if only one of them came up, but I think he just needs some alone time to himself so Im gonna try and pack some other things that I left behind to give me a little more time alone.
The elevator doors open once we're on my floor and Ian is following closely behind me as I dig into my bag looking for my keys.
"Have you talked to them since you left?"
I instantly snap my attention towards him, yay he's talking again.
"Not really," I shake my head and continue to look for my keys.
"You forgot them, didn't you?"
"No," I say as we come to a stop in front of the door, moving things around in my bag. "I know they're in here somewhere, I haven't taken them out."
Ian makes a little hmph sound and is stepping around me, "it's a small purse, Hailey, you should've found them by now, Beanie's gonna lose his shit if we drove all this way for nothing."
I sigh deeply and look up at him, he smiles while digging his hand into his pocket and is pulling out a blade, springing it open.
"Watch out," he says, gently moving me out of the way so that he's standing directly in front of the door knob.
"What are you doing?!" I quietly exclaim looking behind me then back to him. "Someone's gonna think we're breaking in."
"But you live here?" Ian frowns. "Plus I know how to keep someone quiet," he smiles and is reaching for his gun with his free hand, waving it at me.
"Oh my god," I quickly put his hand/gun down. "You can't just flash your toy out here, Ian."
"How will I make the other kids jealous then?" he smiles playfully, bringing his gun back up and I instantly titter, pushing it back down.
"Stop, Ian, the hallways have cameras," I point behind me.
Ian looks in the direction of the cameras and is tucking his gun away, "guess i'm not good at the whole messing around thing."
I laugh again as I take a step back, "you're getting better and better."
Ian grins but doesn't say anything in return, he gets down on one knee and begins to pick at the lock when there's a soft click a few seconds later and he's turning the door knob, gently pushing the door back he turns to look at me, standing back up.
"That's how easy it is to break in, that's how easy it is for them to get their hands on you."
"Luckily I live in a high security, well guarded mansion huh," I smile.
He smiles back and nods his head, "I'll be here if you need me."
"You can come in, Ian, you don't have to stand out there."
"Your roommates-"
"Are probably not home," I tried to reassure him. "Plus I'm pretty sure they're more scared of you than you are of them," I tease, "come in please."
I hold the door back, taking a step to the side allowing him to walk in.
Ian looks down at me as he walks by, "if your boyfriend doesn't scare me why would your roommates scare me."
I instantly regret the next words that are coming out of my mouth because Ian takes it as anything but playful, "does your boss scare you?"
He quickly rolls his eyes walking deeper into the apartment, "hurry up and get what we came for."
His sudden mood change instantly annoys me and I want to apologize for upsetting him, I do, but I don't, he needs to learn how to control his sudden mood change, he needs to get it through his head that I am not one of the guys, I'm not out to get him, I'm genuinely trying to be his friend here, that doesn't stop the next words from spilling out of my mouth though.
"Maybe you should work on how easily you get offended rather than your playful side," I say walking around him and into the kitchen and towards my bedroom.
Ian scoffs, "they don't pay me enough to put up with your sass," he grumbles and I'm quickly looking back when I hear a second deep voice, it's Beanie.
"That's because they pay you to protect her, not to be her friend, Cakes."
Beanie tilts his head back indicating that he walks out of the apartment and he does, Ian doesn't say anything in return and is walking out the front door, leaving Elias standing there by himself.
"The hells taking you so long," he grumbles as he starts to snap his fingers. "Get the necklace and let's go, I got other shit to do, Hailey."
I stay glued to my spot for about a second or so, a little taken back at how much Beanie has actually changed, he's never once raised his voice at me, he was always a complete gentleman, sweet and kind, now he's pushy and rude, nonchalant like every single other guy that works for Carmelo.
Beanie stares back at me, snapping his fingers, "lets go!" and that instantly pushes me over the edge.
Carmelo's mentioned plenty of times that should his men ever upset me or make me feel uncomfortable I had every right to 'check them' like Isaac says, I could always let Mr. Matteo or his son handle it, or I could do it myself should I feel brave. I had every right to put my foot down and remind them who they were working for, and I completely understand that Beanie's going through a lot right now, but I'm not gonna be the one he takes it out on, so I remind him just how much power Carmelo has given me over 'my guys'.
"Last time I checked, Elias, I'm the one who gets to do the bossing around here, not you."
He stays completely quiet but I see the instant change in his demeanor, the shocked look on his face is evident of it.
"You can go back down stairs, where you intended on waiting from the get go and lose the attitude. Ian and I will meet you downstairs when I'm done, I'll be sure to give you plenty of time to calm down."
Beanie inhales a deep breath, "yes ma'am," and turns to walk out of the apartment shutting the door behind him, I forsure thought he would've slammed it.
I release one of the longest breaths of my life once I'm all alone in the apartment, "holy crap," I nervously laugh to myself. "Did I really just do that? Did that really just work?"
A deep chuckle causes me to quickly look up to find Silas leaning against his doorway, his arms folded across his bare chest, "you just did that, and whatever it was it worked." He waves a finger in my direction pushing himself off of the door frame, "you always talk to yourself?"
"Only when I think people are listening," I joke.
Silas smiles walking over to the kitchen, "didn't think you'd ever come back."
"Oh I'm not, I just came to get a few extra things that I left behind."
"Bummer, Liv's been really sad without you guys."
I look in the direction of her bedroom, "is she here?"
Silas shakes his head no, "she's at work, she left something for you around here though, in case you ever decide to stop by when she's gone," he says going through the little mail divider that was sitting at the edge of the counter. "How's Rodriguez, you heard from her?" He asked, still going through the sorted mail, my chest begins to ache. "You guys both left so quickly out of nowhere," he comments.
"I haven't really talked to her," I answered honestly. "I got a lot going on right now."
Silas nods his head and is turning around with a white envelope in his hand, "being a mafia wife," he points my letter towards the door. "Can you control and boss your boyfriend around like you just did with that fella?"
"No," I smile, "he's much more stubborn, those guys only listen to me because they're afraid I'll cry to Isaac or his dad."
"Ahhh, the father in law, yes well, I would listen too if I were them," he smiles walking towards me. "Carmen left it," he hands over the envelope.
I instantly feel a wave of sadness when I see her cursive writing on the envelope, she had the prettiest cursive writing and she absolutely hated it yet always wrote in it.
"I know," I mutter and reach for the letter.
Silas tightens his grip on the letter as I attempt to take it.
"Everything okay with you girls? With you?"
I yank on it one more time and he lets go, "I'm fine," I answer.
"I'm sorry about what happened between us before you left, Hailey, the last thing I wanna do is end things on bad terms, so I apologize."
"Why?" I scoff, taking a step back. "Afraid of me releasing the wolves on you?"
Silas chuckles softly while shaking his head, "I play hockey, Hail, I'm not afraid to take a couple blows to the face. I genuinely like you, I would hate to lose a friend like yourself."
"I'd hate to lose a friend like me too," I smile, "but I'm sorry too, clean start?" I stick my hand out in between us.
Silas nods his head smiling as he glances down at my hand, "guessing a hug is pushing it?"
I smile and nod, "I don't think my possessive boyfriend would appreciate me hugging you, plus for all we know the apartment could be bugged with Cameras."
I instantly giggle as I watch Silas start to look around the apartment, "Silas, I'm just kidding."
Silas turns back around a huge smile on his face as he places his hand in mine, "wouldn't surprise me if he did."
"Me either," I laugh.
"You're looking good, your arms," he points to his own bicep, "they're looking tone s fuck."
His comment completely throws me off guard, I simply laugh it off without really acknowledging it.
"I should get to packing," I pointed behind me. "Kinda got two overly angry men waiting for me outside."
Silas chuckles as he starts to walk over to the fridge, "I'll let Liv know you drop by."
I smile and nod and head towards my bedroom. I don't bother closing the door behind me because I don't intend on taking too long here. I instantly walk over to my closet and grab my black and pink adidas duffle bag and lay it on top of the bed.
My closet is actually pretty empty. There's a couple pairs of shoes in here, some cardigans and throw blankets folded on top. I reach for my dark grey one because it's my favorite, a little upset with myself that I even left it behind. I don't grab any of my own sweaters, I actually reach for Isaac's black hoodie that he gave to me when I first moved away and stuff it into my bag. I walk over to my tall dresser and go into my underwear to fish out my jewelry box to find my mom's necklaces laying inside and get sad.
There's not a moment or day in my life that I don't wish she was still here, I wish that I could just go home and cry to her when a girl needs her mother comfort, I wish that she could see the woman that I'm becoming, that she could meet Isaac, she would instantly fall in love with him, and he with her, everyone that knew and met my mother loved her, she was amazing in every aspect way possible.
Setting the box down on the dresser I reach behind me and take Isaac's necklace off and lay it in the box and reach for my moms, placing it on my neck. I grab the box, a few of my body sprays, I had a slight obsession with sprays, I grab some of my new books that I still havent got to read and shoved them in my bag, along with some other clothes from the dresser and head back out into the apartment with my bag and blanket in hand.
Silas is still in the kitchen, actually cooking something on the stove now as I walk by heading towards the door.
"That's all you're taking?" He points a wooden spoon at my stuff.
I nod, "yeah, this way I'll have another excuse to get away and come see Liv," I smile. "I'll see you later," I say while opening the front door and walk out into the hallway to find Ian standing a couple feet away, his attention on his phone.
He quickly looks up as I shut the door behind me and pushes himself off of the wall, shoving his phone back into his jeans.
"Ready?" He stands up straight.
I nod silently making my way to him, he immediately reaches for my bag and I'm moving back, "I got it."
He frowns, "I don't mind holding a pink bag, Hailey."
I shrug my shoulder and hand him the bag, along with the fluffy grey blanket and begin to walk towards the elevator.
The doors ping open and we step inside as Ian pushes the Lobby button and the doors are closing and we're stepping inside. It's dead quiet for a few seconds when Ian is softly laughing to himself.
I frown and look over at him.
"You really grew a pair dismissing Beanie from your presence back there," he grins. "Beanie's not someone who gets bossed around a lot so I think it surprised him more than upset him. He's used to taking commands from Alpha male's like your boyfriend and the boss, not- no disrespect, some female."
I don't say anything.
"It's not entirely a bad thing, Hailey, that's what most of these guys see you as when you show up to the warehouse, or when they're around, to them you really are just some female that they're supposed to look after. Most of them are smart enough to stay in there place, afraid of what can happen when they cross the line, then again others are stupif as fuck-"
"Others like Milo you mean?"
Ian nods, "I believe Sax tries to mean well, he'll do anything to keep Mr.Matteo happy because he lives for the validation, he's just an asshole by nature. When you start sticking up for yourself, Hailey, when you stand your ground, when you grab hold of the power you can actually possess, it's gonna take everyone by surprise, you're gonna be more than just some female."
"Is that why you lash out sometimes? Because you see me just as some female?"
Ian stays quiet as doors to the elevators ping open, yet neither one of us makes an attempt to walk out.
"No," Ian's hand is quickly flying out in between the metal doors as they attempt to close back up. "I don't see you just as some female, Hailey. I don't- I've never-" he sighs looking off to the ground.
"It's been a long time since I've had a friend, since before I even joined Mr.Matteo's Empire. I'm not used to someone wanting to know who I am anymore, I'm not used to someone else being invested in my life without a purpose if that makes sense? I'm just as broken and damaged as the other guy that Mr.Matteo can replace me with. I often need to remind myself that you're not some ruthless killer, you're caring, kind, soft, a genuine human being. I'm at a crossroads of trying to figure out who I am to be a decent friend back, not some moody short tempered guy."
I can't help the smile that plasters on my face and Ian's instantly frowning, "what?"
"So you agree then, we're friends, you're my friend?"
Ian sticks his hand back out, stopping the doors from closing again, taking a step forward. He smiles and nods, "on my good days, yes."
I instantly go in to hug him but quickly step back when I instantly feel him stiffen, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm a hugger sometimes."
He chuckles, "it's fine, I'm an asshole sometimes," he shrugs, waving a hand towards the doors.
I laugh and begin to step out of the elevator, "see you're getting better and better at the sense humor thing!"
Ian laughs softly and is completely changing his attitude when we see Beanie sitting down in one of the lobby chairs.
He gets up the second he sees us walking over to him, "got everything?"
"Everything I came for," I answered.
I don't miss the side glance Ian sends in my direction after Beanie takes off in front of us, heading towards the parking lot, towards our SUV.
Beanie unlocks the truck and is opening the back door for me. I walk past him and climb into the back seat, and hold my arm out as Beanie tries to close the door.
"I'm sorry about earlier, Beans, but you were being an asshole for no reason."
Beanie scoffs, moving my arm out of the way, "don't you ever apologize for standing up for yourself, you understand me?"
I nod and he shuts the door.
Ian shoves my stuff in the trunk of the car and is then climbing into the passenger seat and we're back on the road.
I thought about waiting till we made it back home to read Carmen's letter, but seeing how the truck was dead silent again I didn't have anything better to do therefore I fish it out of my back pocket.
I catch Beanie looking at me through the rearview mirror as I tear open the envelope and pull the letter out, not once does he ask me what I have, nor does Ian and that gives me a little peace of mind.
I unfold the line paper and my eyes instantly water up at my name in the left corner, she really did have the prettiest writing.
"Hailey,
If you're reading this it could be for three main reasons. One, you came back home for whatever reason it may be and Liv told you that I left a note with her for you. Two, Liv's nosey ass probably opened the letter and needed you to know what was in it to try and make things better so she called you. Don't worry she doesn't know anything, unless she's reading this." I softly laugh and continue to read the rest of the letter.
"Three, I found some way to get a hold of you and told you to read it for yourself because you hate me for doing what I did and if that's the case please don't hate me, Hail. You're my best friend, my sister, the thought of you hating me tears me up inside. I hate the things that I said to you, I hate that I had to end things the way that I did. I love you mami with all my heart, you deserve nothing but the best after all the bullshit you've been through, and you're right I have been a shitty best friend, and I'm so sorry for that, I wish I could fix it I wish I could take it all back. I need you to know that I don't hate you, I could never hate you, I don't blame you for what happened, I don't even blame Isaac and his own father ran me out of town, I blame myself. I knew what I was getting into, Patrick warned me just how ugly things could get, it was his main reason why he didn't want to pursue a relationship with me but I kept pushing him because I wanted so much more than what I was getting, I fell in love with him. If my badass best friend could deal with all the bullshit that was thrown her way why can't I you know? You tell everyone that I'm the strong one in our friendship, Hail, but you're wrong mami, you're the strong one here. I don't see you as that broken sad girl you think you are, I never did babes, I saw you for you, all I saw was my best friend."
My vision blurs up a bit from the tears that are now pouring from my eyes and I'm quickly wiping my eyes with the back of my hand.
"I crumbled the second I saw Mr. Matteo standing in my living room, when you, you've actually had to deal with traumatic ass shit mami. You underestimate how much of a kick ass person you are, Hailey, you hold yourself back babes, you're your biggest critic, I couldn't deal with half the shit you deal with on a dailey being with The Matteo's. Isaac brings out the best in you, he gives you the confidence you need and I definitely wasn't going to get in the way of that so I choose to make you hate me because I would rather you hate me than him for a little while until things settle down. I left not only to just protect Ric but you as well, Hail, I chose to lie to you because Isaac can bring a type of happiness in your life more than a best friend can, I'll always be here for you mami no matter what happens but I couldn't stand to see you blame him or yourself for something we had no control over. I love you Hail, please stay strong through your new transition, I'll see you again when the timing is right.
Carmen xoxo"
I let out a small sob as I put the letter down on my lap and tried to get the waterworks under control. Ian is instantly looking back, over his seat, a worried look on his face, as Beanie looked through his rearview mirror a concerning look as well.
He frowns deeply, shifting his attention from the mirror and the road in front of him, "you okay kid?" He questions.
I nod as a half suppressed laugh escapes my lips, "yeah," I wipe my face with both hands, "I think I'm gonna be okay."
***
A/N; Not me posting at 1 am when I have work at 8 Am tomorrow 🙂 As always please ignore any and all typos, I promise I'll come back an edit later when I have more energy.