Refusing to sit in his room and sulk about his conversation with Naomi which did anything but sort things out with her, Theo called up Elijah and Ollie to meet up. He didn't care if he had literally seen them a few hours previously, he needed to talk to them. He needed to rant.
It was like first year all over again.
All of two seconds later, the boys had established they were all going to meet up at Elijah's to talk.
Theo grabbed his keys and drove to Elijah's house. He didn't even realise it at the time but he was going way over the speed limit. He just wanted to vent to the boys. He didn't know things could go so south so quickly.
Pulling up to Elijah's, Theo knocked repeatedly until the door was swung open by Ollie, who had clearly already made it there.
Well it was clear he would of, because he did technically live there, but he was always at Aimee's so it was a surprise.
"So what happened?" Ollie asked, cutting to the chase because he didn't expect for Theo to call them up so soon after meeting up with Naomi
Theo walked into the house throwing himself onto the sofa and grabbing the beer, which was offered to him, taking a long sip and then telling the boys exactly what happened with Naomi. How she came over, bombarded him with questions and then when he did answer them, he asked her his own questions, leading to them having sex and then next second, she was getting ready to leave, then two seconds later they're taking a break.
"You fucking idiot" Elijah rolled his eyes
"Here we go again" Ollie mumbled, knowing that this was probably going to be a repeat of their complicated first year, and to think they were barley in second year and still had third year to go.
"What? What the fuck did I do wrong?"
"Mate, she literally told you 'an eye for an eye', therefore meaning she wouldn't go any further than what she assumed you had done, so she wouldn't of slept with that guy" Elijah explained
Theo sighed, knowing they were right but he had to ask. He needed to make sure she was all in like he was. He didn't even know why he doubted her. It was dumb. It was very stupid, but in the moment, the way she was acting it just made him curious. The fact that she was leaving so abruptly, the way she was making space between them constantly, all of it just made him think the worst. It made him think that - to be honest he didn't even know what he was thinking. No, scratch that, he wasn't thinking, that's why he was such an idiot and fucked things up.
"Theo..." Ollie sighed
"She's literally put her guard back up now. It's stronger than ever and now she thinks that you don't even trust her when she literally told you, that there was no reason for you not to with the eye for an eye statement." Ollie commented
"Ugh, I know guys I fucked up. I know. I just... I just don't know what was going through my head, I thought me and her were making progress and then next second she's getting dressed and leaving me and I couldn't have that. Not in a controlling way or nothing, but I haven't told this to her, but I don't sleep well without her being there"
"Like obviously I go to sleep normally, because I can't function without sleep, but with her next to me, in my arms. It's the best sleep and the fact that she was getting dressed and leaving just made he go into panic mode. I tried to play it off, joking around with her, but when she started to say shit like she wanted it to be just sex between us, and I switched"
"I switched because it sounded like she was sleeping with that other guy from Halloween as well. And I couldn't have that, not with everything me and her have been through, that's my girl"
"And then it made me think back to when Seb said 'oh I knew that she liked you, but I thought I could fuck it out of her' and it just made me think that maybe she denies her feelings for me so much that she'll go ahead and sleep with another boy, just to get me out of her head. But it wasn't true. She never slept with Seb. And now I've betrayed her in believing the piece of shit who hit her, over her and not even questioning it" Theo rambled, finishing his beer and going to grab another one
"I don't even know what to say anymore" Elijah said as he rubbed his temples
"I say cool it. Let her have her alone time and then come back to her when you know what you wanna say" Ollie offered, as he had no clue how Theo could fuck up so badly in such a short amount of time
"I agree, you two have been using sex instead of talking about your feelings and when you finally did, things were going well. Well they were until obviously Melissa happened" Elijah reminded
"But Theo girls always want the truth, no matter how little it is or was, tell her" Ollie commented
"Her trust was already basically nonexistent with you, and the fact that you said you wouldn't of told her would of made things a lot worse like she told you" he continued
At this point, Theo was refusing to even talk. Instead he was drowning his sorrows in multiple bottles of beer, hoping that it'll made him feel better. He wanted to smoke. He would of. He would of, if it didn't remind him of the last time he did. Where he and Naomi were laying on his bed just chilling and then it turned into sex. Sex he didn't think he could ever forget. And then he wouldn't be able to get her out of his head, which was already the case, but it would be worse.
Ollie and Elijah's voices had long gone and faded into the background, along with the sound of whatever was on TV, as his mind and thoughts were consumed by Naomi. How he wished he could just press a restart button and go back to first year and treat her well, so that he could have her first and no one else would take her from him. That she would have no reason to run away from him. That she would be all in like he was, that he wouldn't be hesitant to even trust him.
"...in the end, you two are just going to have to talk things through, not argue, but talk like civil adults for once, sat across the room from each other so you aren't tempted by each other and understand what you both really want and if that's the same thing, then continue and if it's not then end it, because it's taking a toll on both of you clearly" Elijah stressed
Theo had snapped back into reality. He was now on his tenth beer. Well that, mixed with some four glasses of Bacardi and lemonade that he started to make because he found it in Elijah's fridge.
"Talk" he slurred, getting up from his seat
"I need to talk to her" he repeated, grabbing his phone from his back pocket ready to talk to her
Ollie and Elijah looked up at Theo and then at each other, realising just how fucked up he was. Did he even eat today? There was no way he could talk to Naomi in his state. He would either say something he'd regret, causing him and Naomi to end things and her never talking to him again, or they'd talk and sorry things out, but he wouldn't remember what even happened, causing their cycle of arguments to repeat themselves.
Rushing over to Theo, Ollie attempted to grab Theo's phone out of his hand as soon as he heard the FaceTime ringing tone. He needed to stop him from even talking or Naomi in his state.
Despite his drunken state, Theo managed to dodge all of Ollie's attempts, jogging around the house whilst the phone rang, as Ollie ran after him.
Elijah figured Naomi wouldn't pick up considering everything so he just sat back and watched his two friends act like five year olds fighting over a toy. It was kind of funny to be honest. He couldn't deny Theo when he was drunk was a funny thing.
Well it was funny until the ringing had stopped and the call failed for the first time, causing Theo to call Naomi once again.
This time was different though. It didn't ring for an extended time, it stopped. It stopped, causing everyone to pause, thinking that she declined the call. That was until they heard the sound of the call connecting and Naomi's tired voice come through Theo's speaker.
"Theo, you called?" She questioned, after she had answered and no one had said a word. Her end of the call was a black screen, clearly not letting Theo have the perk of seeing her face
"Baby I'm so sorry -" he started, as he stared into the phone, as Ollie attempted to reach for it
"Baby, please let me see your face" he begged
"This is all you're getting Theo" Naomi stated, showing her ceiling and a portion of her forehead, eyebrow and eye in the camera
"No" he snapped. He wanted more. He wanted to see all of her.
Elijah and Ollie took his change in tone as their queue to cut this call off. He had switched and there was no coming back from this once he said something now.
Naomi didn't reply, instead she stayed in the same position, as she heard fumbling in the background of Theo's end of the call. She watched as Theo's face once fully in the screen kept moving, as she noticed Ollie and Elijah, attempting not to be seen, but failing, trying to grab Theo's phone.
See, even they knew she wanted her space, she thought.
Surprisingly, even though Theo was drunk and swaying, he had managed to push Ollie off of him, causing him to not even bother helping Elijah anymore.
Naomi watched the two boys fight over the phone, holding it so tight that it was turning on and off of mute every two seconds. She was surprised that they hadn't accidentally ended it at this point.
Elijah had managed to get the phone and looked at Naomi. This was the first time they were talking when they both knew they knew everything.
"Naomi I'm sorry about him, he's drunk and he knows he fucked up -" Elijah apologised
"Exactly, I fucked up so I need to talk to her" she heard Theo shout in the background
She didn't even get a chance to reply, before she saw Theo tackle Elijah to the ground, attempting to grasp the phone, this time actually ending it.
She sat there processing what had just happened. She was just about to brush it off as boys being boys when they're drunk, until she heard Theo calling her again. She knew she had to answer it because if she didn't he wouldn't stop calling her.
When she answered the phone this time, she saw Theo in a new room. It looked like he was leaving the house.
"I'm coming over" he stated
"Theo..." she sighed
"No. No more Theo's" he stated, mimicking her tone
"We're talking this through, so can I please come over?" He asked this time
Naomi knew the right thing to do was say no, but looking at his pleading blue eyes through the screen made her say a weak okay, to which Theo rushed over to get into his car.
She watched as he didn't even flinch when he stepped into the pouring rain to get into his car. He didn't cover his phone or anything. He had a task and he intended on not letting anything interfere with it.
Elijah and Ollie were close behind him, pulling him out of the car.
"What the fuck, she said I can go over, stop dragging me" he protested, standing in the pouring rain staring at them
"Theo you're drunk, you're not driving" Elijah exclaimed, gabbing the keys from his hand
"How the fuck am I meant to see my girl!" Theo shouted, glancing down at his phone to see Naomi watching him
"I'll call you an Uber okay?" Ollie suggested knowing that neither him or Elijah wanted to drive him in his state. They were his best mates but when it came to Naomi and how pissed he got, they didn't want to deal with him. They were surprised Naomi was still giving him chances at this point.
The FaceTime call was ended abruptly, leaving Naomi alone in her room once again. So now she had Theo coming over in a bit as well as the knowledge of him telling Ollie and Elijah everything. She kinda concluded they probably knew everything from the beginning, because she wasn't dumb, she picked up on little stuff.
She picked up on little stuff like when she had first ever met Ollie and Elijah at their football match celebratory party, they spent a lot of time getting to know Seb. It was weird because that was the first time Seb hadn't been attached to her hip whenever she hung out with him and that was the same night Theo had gotten her alone to 'talk'. So she knew they had something to do with it. They were a distraction for Seb. They were Theo's boys and they would do anything to help him.
Closing her laptop because she had finally finished her work for the next two or so weeks, Naomi wondered where the hell theo was. The call ended around twenty minutes ago, now and she was pretty sure Elijah and Ollie didn't live that far away.
Just as she was about to call any one of the boys to see what was going on, when she heard grunts coming from outside her window. She wasn't entirely sure she heard that correctly considering the sound of the rain beating down on her window harshly would make anything sound odd, but it continued.
She got up from her bed and begun to walk over to her balcony. As she was about to open her window, she saw a soaking wet Theo, climb his way onto her balcony.
Rushing over to him, she pulled him inside. "What the fuck Theo!"
"Why didn't you use the front door?" She exclaimed
"Because I didn't know who was home and -" he slurred
"Theo that doesn't matter, you could of hurt yourself, you could of ended your fucking football career before it started!" She shouted, knowing that her balcony didn't have steps like his, it was at the front of the house, above the front door and was only used for her to sit on when she wanted to smoke. He clearly climbed the house.
"I wasn't thinking okay! You're all that was on my mind"
"You're all that's ever on my mind"
"Okay, let's get you out of these wet clothes" she mumbled, walking into her wardrobe to find something of hers that was oversized that would fit him.
Walking back into her room, she found Theo stood still, in the middle of her room not knowing what to do with himself. It was odd, usually he exudes confidence but now, he was a shell of himself. Yes, he was drunk, but it wasn't that.
"Please Naomi" he whispered, it was so quiet she almost missed it, amongst the pitter patter of the rain against her window
"What is it Theo?"
"Please forgive me. I didn't - I don't know how do things right with you. I'm new to this whole relationship, I mean situationship stuff. I-I, I didn't mean to upset you i-"
"Theo stop, I forgive you okay, but I still think we need time"
"Time away from each other"
"No" he shook his head
"Why?" He asked
"Because look at us, we're so consumed by each other. You barley know how to go five minutes without me and obviously it's nice, but we should still have our own lives" she explained, pulling off his wet T-shirt.
Theo followed suit and began to take off his joggers as well. "But I don't want time apart, I like being with you. Even when we argue, it's still us. It's always been us"
"Theo, in our situation the main thing that was stopping us going any further was trust and then Halloween happened and you even claimed that your trust with me went out of the window. So how can we continue if we don't have something as important as trust, because other than that, all that would happen is that we'd argue over the smallest stuff, because of jealousy and misinterpretation and we'd get nowhere"
"I understand" he mumbled, realising where she was coming from. He didn't want this break but if that's what was going to make Naomi happy, then he'd do it.
"But can we agree on one thing" he sighed, he knew this wasn't the end of him and Naomi but he wished that for once things weren't so shit between them.
"What is it?"
"No one else. This break is just for us. We don't see anyone else, I'm still yours and you're working towards being mine?" He pleaded looking down at her
"Yes Theo. I agree to that" she smiled
"Just say it" he whispered as he held her chin, looking into her eyes
"Say what?" She asked, wondering where that came from. Obviously his thoughts were going to be a bit slow and incoherent due to whatever he had drank but it was a bit sudden that he wanted her to say something.
"Tell me you like me. Just say it, please" he begged. That's all he needed to hear and then they'll be okay. That's all he wanted. He just wanted her to say the words. He hadn't heard her say the words.
"I can't" she whispered. Yes she had feelings for Theo, but she refused to tell him she liked him. Not because it was a bad thing, because she already knew he liked her, but the moment she said it out loud and admitted it, she knew chaos would follow. She knew that it would cause him to be more attached. She knew that it would cause a drift in them, even more so than now. She knew it because she still had her insecurities despite liking him and he wouldn't understand that. He wouldn't understand what her admitting her liking him would do to her, how that would take a toll on her.
"Why?" He asked growing annoyed
"What the fuck Naomi?" He shook his head, releasing her chin from his grasp
"Why can't you just be fucking normal and tell me" he snapped
"Why can't we be normal and go out on dates and be in a relationship" he exclaimed
"Theo stop, you're digging yourself a hole" she warned, watching him pace her room
"I'm digging myself a hole? Naomi I feel like I'm fucking six feet under when I talk to you. I feel like I'm putting myself out there and you can't even do that. You can't even do that for me. You're the first girl I properly like and then you make it so complicated"
"Why?" She asked
"Why what?"
"Why do you like me? Huh? Why? Because you've never given me a reason!" She argued
Theo looked at her shocked. Was she really questioning his feelings for her when he was the one who was all in. Who let her claim his heart. Let her be the first one he had ever admitted his feelings for.
"Look at you? You could have anyone and you're chasing after me, why?" She repeated
"Why, Theo?" She asked
"You could have any girl on your arm. Any girl, any pretty girl"
"Any white girl" she mumbled
It was almost so quiet that he thought he misheard her, but when he saw the way she looked up at him. He knew he heard her correctly "What does you not being white have to do with this, with us? Is that it, you've got a problem with the colour of our skin. It's the twenty first century Naomi" he exclaimed
"No I don't have a problem, I don't care if other people do either, it's just that from every girl I've ever seen you get with, they're the complete opposite of me. They're blonde, with brown, blue, hazel for all I care eyes and they're not me. They're nothing like me. So Theo, why me?"
Theo sat on her bed staring at the wall. He was trying to get his words straight. In order in fact, to explain to her why he liked her. He did. He liked her a lot, but explaining it was another thing.
Naomi watched Theo in silence. She watched him slightly sway as he sat on her bed, not saying anything. She had just let her insecurities out and now he wasn't saying anything.
"You know what" she whispered, "I'm not having this conversation with you, you're drunk. You can't even answer me" she choked out, turning to leave her room.
Theo saw Naomi walking away from him and he rushed over to her. He pulled her into his chest.
Naomi felt suffocated against Theo, she pushed him away. She needed her space. "Stop" she said looking up at him
"Naomi, I'm sorry please come back"
"Theo we just need space right now. Time apart"
"Please just-"
"You can stay for tonight because you're drunk and there's no way you can go home in your state" she stated, as she brought him back over to her bed
"Sleep with me please"
"I can't"
"Please" he pleaded, as he wrapped his arms around her waist, putting his head against her stomach.
"Fine, but let me go to the bathroom" she asked, even though she would of done it either way. Theo nodded, letting her go.
Naomi rushed into the bathroom and took in a deep breath. She needed to let the air fill her lungs right now. That's all she needed. She needed it because she felt like she was suffocating in her room.
Staring at her reflection in the mirror, Naomi watched the tears fall from her eyes. She didn't care anymore. She needed to let it all out. Everything was just too much. It was all so complicated, so much pressure. She didn't ask for this. She didn't ask for things to be so complicated. She just knew she had to put herself first because of her past. Her past had ruined her for everyone in the future and she knew it was hurting Theo. She was hurting Theo but she couldn't explain why because she couldn't open up to him.
Muffling her cries with her hand, Naomi's eyes went wide as she heard the bathroom door open. Did she forget to lock it in her panicked state. Shit if Theo saw her like this he would never stop apologising.
The door slowly creaked open, with Tiana's face poking out from the other side. Naomi didn't even have to say anything before Tiana came rushing over and hugged her.
Tiana heard everything. She heard everything that Naomi and Theo said. She wasn't trying to listen, but Elijah had called her as soon as Theo left his and explained everything that he had found out in the past few hours and told her to get Theo away from Naomi if things got bad.
"I don't know if you wanna talk right now, but know you can talk to me whenever okay?" Tiana reassured
"T-tomorrow?" Naomi choked out in between sobs
"Okay, tomorrow" Tiana smiled, wiping away Naomi's tears
"If you want you can sleep in my room tonight" Tiana offered as she watched Naomi begin to build herself back up and wipe away her tears, along with any evidence of her breaking down.
"I think I'll be okay, but thank you" she smiled, hugging Tiana once more and exiting the bathroom.
Taking in a deep breath, Naomi opened her bedroom door. She found Theo in his boxers, sat on her bed, head in hands, instantly looking up as he sensed her presence.
Naomi cautiously walked over to him. His eyes followed her every move. He noticed that she was wearing a long oversized top, with shorts as pyjamas today. She was covering up. No doubt because if him. Because she wanted to wordlessly tell him not to touch her tonight. He knew this because her usual pyjamas were shorts with a small crop top because of how easily she overheats in her sleep and finds other clothes constricting, but tonight she changed. She covered up.
Naomi saw Theo's glossed over eyes. How all that was present in them was hurt and guilt. How he kept opening his mouth to talk, but immediately closing it again because he didn't even know what to say. Neither of them did anymore.
Naomi now stood in front of Theo. She wasn't sure why. She could of just gotten into bed, but she was just stood there.
Theo rose to his feet and looked down at Naomi. He leant down and slowly went to connect their lips.
As Naomi noticed Theo's close proximity, her eyes fluttered shut and she slightly moved her head. Her lips grazing his, so he kissed the corner of her mouth.
She pulled away.
"Let's just go to bed okay?" She asked, moving away from his close proximity
Theo didn't even get the chance to register that she was already laying in bed. He was still processing her refusing his kiss. Her moving away from him. Her putting distance in between them. He hated it, but he knew she had her reasons.
He nodded, getting into his side of the bed, pulling Naomi close, hoping that she would at least allow him to do this.
Naomi accepted Theo's embrace and felt him cuddled into her back. Soon after she heard his soft snores.
She lay awake with more tears threatening to leave her eyes. This is exactly what she didnt want. Theo was dependent on her. She was his safe haven. It was bittersweet.
She was happy that she was, that he had matured enough to understand that he found someone he truly liked but it just couldn't be her. Not now at least. She just couldn't. She needed to take care of herself first. Put herself first. For her whole life people had depended on her, used her, hurt her and she just couldn't have another person on that list.