Steve shuffles in bed waking up slowly. His room is still dark and he knows he can't have been asleep for more than a few hours. He closes his eyes again trying to go back to sleep when a noise captures his attention. His ears peak waiting for it again, but it doesn't come. Steve closes his eyes and instantly, there it is again. He sits up curiously.
"No, no, no!!" The cries are more distinct now, getting louder by the second.
"No please!" Steve opens his door to the hallway waiting for a moment. It's silent for a bit and he almost turns around.
"No!!!" He hears a shriek and instantly charges down the corridor. "No! Please, I'm sorry!!!! No!"
Steve finds the noise coming from Leia and Bucky's room. Their door is open slightly which lets the noise out.
"NO BUCKY!!! NO PLEASE!" Steve pushes the door open harshly and the realization settles in on him.
"Come back." She mumbles tossing around in the sheets.
"Leia." Steve says walking over to her.
"Bucky..." She keeps moving.
"Leia wake up." Steve sits down on the bed.
"NO NO NOOO!" "Leia!!" Steve shakes her shoulders and she springs up, eyes wide open and cheeks tear stained.
Leia's gasping for air and spluttering through her tears. "No, no!"
"Leia." Steve tries to draw her out but she doesn't even look at him.
"No, no, no." Leia cries shaking her head and Steve wraps his arms around her shoulders. Her head buries into his chest and he holds her shaking human tighter than ever. She cries heavy tears unable to control herself.
"Hey, shhhh, it's alright, it's okay." He strokes her hair gently trying to bring her back down. "Leia it's alright."
"Except that it's not." She mumbles.
Steve doesn't exactly know what to say to her statement so he just stays mute, helping her calm down. He's never known what to say to help her through these. She used to have them when they were living together and he would sometimes hear her soft cries through the night. Steve would always try his best to help her. And like all those other times he gently rubs her shoulder while her tears soak his tshirt. And eventually she begins to sniff, controlling herself to some degree.
"You okay?" Steve asks her retracting his secure arm.
"I'm sorry." Leia whispers guilt pouring over her all over again.
"Don't apologize Leia." Steve says. "You gonna be okay?"
"Yeah... thank you." Only now does she look up at her friend. She doesn't deserve him. She doesn't deserve Bucky. She doesn't deserve anyone. She can't help but think her father should've gone the extra step and just ended it all for her.
"Okay, do you want some water or something?" He asks gently.
"No thank you. Go back to sleep I'm sorry for waking you."
"Okay." Is all Steve says before standing up slowly.
Once he leaves the room Leia sits still her mind swimming with what she just saw in her dream, or should she say nightmare. God where is he?
Leia stands up and pokes her head out her door. There's no one in the corridor so she patters slowly down to the kitchen. She feels that ache coursing through her body once more. It's something that her abilities can't heal.
She grabs a glass making no noise at all, pouring some water. Leia leans up against the counter just sipping on it unconsciously. She can't stop thinking about her nightmare. It was so vivid. She really did kill him. An uncomfortable shiver runs through her body making her slide down the cabinet onto the floor. Her legs are huddled to her chest and she rests the glass on her knees.
Before she realizes the sun is shining brightly into the kitchen and the big analogue clock reads 6:48am. Leia tips her head back against the cupboard wide awake. Eventually she musters the strength to stand up and put her glass in the sink, when she hears footsteps entering the room. Leia turns around and sees an unfamiliar woman walk in.
"Oh hi..." She says warily.
"Hello." Leia manages to muster a small smile in her direction. "Did you want some coffee, I'm just about to make some?"
"That would be nice thank you." The girl says. Leia grabs out two mugs when another pair of footsteps enter the space.
"Erica- oh morning Leia." Loki says.
"Morning."
"C'mon, it's time for you to go remember." Loki says to Erica.
"Oh okay." He leads her to the door.
"I'll call you." He mumbles.
"Okay." She smiles up at the god who proceeds to kiss her hard for a few seconds and then pull away leaving her breathless. He pushes her out the door. Leia looks at him baffled, he said those exact same things to Lindsay the morning prior.
"You alright?" He asks her.
"Yeaahh, fine." Leia looks down at her mug of coffee.
"Okay, I am going to have a shower." Loki announces and Leia nods as he leaves the room.
Then there's a small beeping from Friday and Leia taps the screen that pops up on the island. The front gate security camera comes up showing Sharon in a car.
"Hi, can someone let me in please." She smiles. Leia presses a button and the gate moves open for her.
A few minutes later Sharon walks into the kitchen area.
"Morning Sharon." Leia says hiding her dislike for the woman very well.
"Morning."
"What are you doing here?" She asks curiously.
"Oh, Bucky asked me to come over to talk about that training program I mentioned the other night." Sharon explains to her.
"Oh." Is all Leia can say. Bucky asked Sharon to come over. Why would he do that? Leia's head is swimming. Doesn't he want to be with her anymore. Doesn't he want to see her ever again? Does he even love her anymore?
"I um... well just wait here, he'll probably be out in a minute." Leia drops her mug in the sink and hurries out the room leaving Sharon alone.
Why did he call her?
"Friday lock the door please." Leia barrels into the training room. She walks over to the pad on the wall and smashes her request into it. The ceiling opens up and a boxing bag lowers down. Leia wraps up her hands quickly and very poorly honestly not giving a shit. She lands punch after punch, kick after kick into the bag. Leia yells and screams as she makes contact with the bag, the ache strong throughout her body.
"AAAHHH!" She flies her fist into the tough leather and it swings high up. She catches it as it comes down and feels the hot tears roll down her cheeks. Her forehead rests on the leather as do her hands and her shoulders shake as she sobs. Why is she so stupid!
-
Bucky stares at the ceiling, laying in the unfamiliar bed of one of the spare rooms in the compound. It's cold and empty. He feels cold and empty. The room is small compared to his and Leia's and it feels more like a hotel than a home. Bucky walks out into the corridor warily hoping there's no one around he'll bump into. He takes the elevator down to the living area and walks into the kitchen, though he's shocked to say the least.
"Sharon what are you doing here?" Bucky's voice makes her head turn around to him.
"You asked me to come?" She tries to remind him.
"No I didn't." Bucky says. God it's to early for this.
"Yeah, you said you wanted to talk about the training program. I got your email." She explains.
"I didn't send you an email." He rubs his temples.
"Well I'm here now, so we could just talk, catch up, I don't know?" She suggests.
"Look Sharon, it's good to see you but we're really busy here today so I think you should go." Bucky blatantly lies to her.
"Well is there anything I can help with? An extra set of hands is always good."
"No really, we've got it under control. Thanks. We'll see you round." Bucky opens the door for her and gestures through.
"You should really check your emails then." Sharon suggests as she walks out.
"Will do, bye." Bucky nods closing the door behind her. "Goddammit."
Bucky is certain that he never sent her an email.
He decided to disregard the kitchen and walk towards the training room. He needs to let off steam. His minds still clouded by what Leia told him days prior. As much as he hates the spare room he's been staying in he hasn't left it much. Spending most of the day secluded in there. He's hurt to say the very least. He can't believe she did what she did and said what she said.
He rounds the corner and looks through the glass of the room and sees the punching bag hanging from the ceiling. Leia stands there laying her fists and feet into it. His eyes are wide as he watches her movements. She must've forgotten to block out the glass. Bucky can see her scream as she lands a hard punch into the bag, sending it swinging high. That's when he notices her red eyes and tears. She leans her head against the bag sobbing.
Bucky averts his eyes quickly and runs back towards his room. He can't be near her. Not when he knows of the secret she kept from him for months.
"Shit!" He crashes into someone's hard physic.
"Sorry." Loki's voice wraps around his brain and it makes him sick. He doesn't even look up but walks away quickly.
-
Bucky stands in a strange, awfully familiar building. His vision is hazy as he looks around trying to recall his whereabouts. He knows this place that's for sure.
His arm is silver and a mask covers his mouth. Then all of a sudden it's like something takes over his body and he's charging forwards. Stealthily slipping through spaces, around corners and through doors not making a sound at all. That's when he sees him. He knows this man but he can't remember his name.
Bucky crashes through the door and grabs the man by his throat. He holds him high in the air and cuts off his wind pipe killing him instantly. There's gasps from around the room and he takes the gun from his back firing a bullet through all four of their foreheads. And then something crashes behind him. He whips around and sees a woman standing in the doorway with a tray of mugs smashed at her feet. "Leia?" Bucky's subconscious mind questions.
"I'm sorry, I never saw anything I promise, I'll just-" She goes to turn and walk out the room but Bucky steps forwards and puts the barrel of the gun against the back of her head. She lets out a terrified gasp and holds her hands up. "No, no, no, don't shoot her, not Leia." Bucky's subconscious screams at his Winter Soldier form.
"Please Bucky. I won't say anything just-" The shot of the gun goes off and she collapses to the ground dead. "NO!" He screams. Bucky feels himself fighting himself for priority. He feels himself coming back into his body and he drops to his knees quickly.
"No Leia, I'm sorry. No no no, please!" Bucky cries next to her deceased person. "Why aren't you healing yourself. Please come back, baby. NO!"
Bucky's eyes open so abruptly and he sits up, ripping the sheets from his body. He's sweating more than he's ever done before but also his body shakes and goosebumps cover his skin. It was just a dream. It was just a dream. Bucky's cheeks are wet from tears and he tries to rub the cloud from his eyes. He reaches to turn on the light beside his bed but cannot find the switch, panic sets in and his eyes dart around the pitch black room. The events from the previous days rush back into his mind but this doesn't ease his panic. He stumbles out of bed and rushes through the compound, desperate for fresh air to combat his growing nausea. He throws open the closest door to the outside and feels his feet connect with the hard, cool cement. The early morning breeze rushes into his lungs, soothing him from the inside out. Bucky stands in his place, his chest rising and falling for a moment to control his shaky breathing. The urge rises within him to run, he looks from left to right and takes off in a sprint.
-
Leia trudges through the corridor enroute to the kitchen. She hears voices before the approach and almost turns around but Loki's voice sounds. Leia walks in and sees Loki with yet another unfamiliar face. She can't help but roll her eyes to herself, avoiding the interaction and making a b-line to the coffee pot, only to realise it's missing.
"Hey hon, are ya lookin for the brew?" The blonde chirps.
Instead of answering the woman she quirks an eyebrow in Loki's direction and he sends a wink back at her.
"Yeah thanks, I'm Leia by the way."
"Oh I know, back home we've been seeing y'all on the news like every night." Her strong southern accent piercing Leia's ears.
"Oh okay, what was your name?" Leia asks, disregarding her statement.
"My names Bambi, but my friends call me baby." She smiles a toothy grin.
Loki looks at her with an awkward grin and Leia's eyes are wide as she looks between the god and Bambi saying, "Ooh!"
Loki shrugs gesturing slightly towards the blondes figure with a 'can you blame me' look on his face. Leia laughs and sips at her coffee, the blonde laughs along unable to follow along with their unspoken conversation.
"Y'all are so funny, I love your hair by the way it's so pretty." She compliments out of the blue.
"Um, thanks..." Her response almost sounds like a question seeing as her hair is thrown up in a very messy bun.
"I think it's time to head off now, what do you say Bambi?" Loki says and Leia lets out a small snicker that goes unnoticed to the blonde.
"Okay." She smiles and Loki walks her to the door.
"I'll call you." Loki smiles.
"Okay, darlin'." She chrips and Loki kisses her hard but pulls away in a matter of seconds, leaving her breathless.
Loki leaves laughing, "Don't even think about it."
"I wasn't!... darlin'." Leia says without laughing.
Once Loki disappears she sips on her coffee by herself, staring out at the early morning view. Against the trees she sees Bucky running and her heart lurches. Even from this distance she can see his angered expression but is glad to know he's still around, and safe, even if it wasn't with her.
-
Bucky and Leia find themselves unable to sleep at night without one another. They're each trapped within their minds for hours, leaving them utterly exhausted when they wake. Bucky can't sleep peacefully without Leia and Leia can't sleep peacefully without Bucky. He often finds himself reaching for her small frame but is met with an empty bed and no comfort in sight. Leia misses the familiar feeling of his chest against her back and feels exposed to the emptiness of her room without it. Bucky's nightmares stem from his tortured past, each of his victims being replaced by Leia in some way, shape or form. Leia's feel as if they could be real, only being able to break out of them when she's mentally exhausted. Tonight is no different.
-
Starks alert blares over the intercom. "Everyone get their asses to the lounge, if I don't see you there, I am assuming you're dead or stupid, so hurry up."
Bucky rolls his eyes, not in the mood in the slightest. Not only will he have to interact with everyone, he will have to face Leia.
He makes his way into the shared space and is waved over by Steve to an available seat. Leia hears the alert but ignores it. She's feeling both dead and is obviously stupid so Stark wouldn't be far off if he announced she was either. She rolls onto her stomach and buries her face in her pillow.
Everyone floods the common room where there are holograms of all the Avengers who are not physically present flickering in blue light. Tony moves to the front of the room and greets everyone.
"So I'm sure all of you are wondering, 'Tony, why have you called all of us here?' Well I'm actually just relaying a message from the leaders of the world. Wait a minute is everyone here?" He says as he scans the room.
"Just get on with it Stark we have better things to do." Thor yells.
"Aaaa, nope, Leia isn't here..." Wanda speaks up looking around.
"Well Bucky, just fill her in on what's going on after, cool?" Tony asks to a mute Bucky.
"I'll tell her Tony." Wanda replies for him seeing his hesitancy.
"Okay without further ado, the government guys have an invitation for us." Tony continues.
A video plays on the tv for the Avengers which resembles a gimmicky news report.
"The world owes the Avengers an unplayable debt. We acknowledge your sacrifices for the greater good. We wish to hold a gala in your honour this coming Saturday. Thank you heroes." The reporter says before cutting out.
"So we save half of everything and they give us a gala? No cash? No cars? No nothing?" Sam groans. Tony nods, "They really do the least."
Bucky sighs keeping to himself, a gala being the last thing he needs at the moment.
"It's black tie, so look sharp everyone." Tony continues the invite.
"I think they're giving awards, like those cheap little medals? Or some shit. It's probably going to be really bad but we have an obligation to attend so, everyone better be on their best behaviour."
"You should really take your own advice Tony." Steve banters, earning a small chuckle from everyone in the room.
"Yeah, well anyway, it's at 8 o'clock sharp. They'll have cars waiting to take us." Tony explains.
-