October 2018
"What did he say?" I hear the ever present rustle of papers and clicking of keys in the background as Sicko asks.
"I have no idea. All I know is, he's been acting a bit off for past two days and then today morning he just texted, 'We need to talk.' I don't even know."
"Well, that's a bit ominous. What do you think is it about?"
I peer inside the classroom and then towards my watch. There are still ten minutes left for the break to end.
"Honestly, I've been waiting for him to say that 'he's made a mistake' ever since he left Ahmedabad. I wouldn't be surprised, whatever it is. Hell, I'm expecting him to give me a plot twist confession at this point. I feel like we've been here forever."
I see Avi walk towards me with purpose and face away, towards the balcony.
"Well, that's Tiwari. You think he cheated on you?"
"I don't think so. Not really. I think he just did something he regrets. I even have an idea of who it might be related to. There's this girl in his class. His friend. I thought she had a crush on him. She's nice. But then he forbade me from even commenting on his college life and..."
"WHAT?" He shouts in my ear and I wince. I notice Avi standing beside me, leaning on the railing, waiting to talk to me.
"Yeah... Let's see... I gotta go, for now. I'll call ya later?"
"Yeah let me know whatever happens. Prefer texting over calling." He says and cuts the call.
I turn towards Avi. "Yes?"
"Are you still mad at me?" He mumbles, practically quivering.
I take a deep breath and turn back towards the balcony.
"The only reason you're even standing here, talking to me without any lost limbs is because... I actually care about you... And I really think you're wasting your time in trying to keep a useless bunch of people satisfied who only keep you around to pay their tabs."
He stays silent for a moment and then hesitates, "They're not so bad..."
I look at him and raise my eyebrows as he visibly deflates.
"I think you need to just show them that you are a great person. And then they won't be so jealous of you..."
"Why would I need to prove –" my mind catches up to what he really said, "Wait. They're jealous of me?"
He huffs, "Of course they are!"
"Why would they be jealous of me..?" No, seriously.
"Why wouldn't they be? I mean, you're the best!"
"Far from it."
"That's what you think. You're a satandess among these people. You should know that. They can't even fantasize about you. Did you know they have a group discussion amongst themselves before any one comes to talk to you?"
I chuckle at that, "Really?"
"Yeah! They're terrified! I tell you what, look in the class and point towards any guy and they can be yours. I'm not even kidding!"
"You know I'm not single."
"Barely"
We both turn toward the classroom door and peer inside. Only around twenty people are in there and more than half of them are surrounding Moose aka Beardo. Only this time, he's wearing a navy blue shirt on light blue denims and seated on a bench, leaning back. Puri is sitting to his left and everyone else is around the bench. They're like moth attracted to a streetlamp, happy to burn in his presence.
On his part, he looks so damn bored that it's hilarious. He occasionally nods to whatever they are saying and rarely speaks. Not a talker. He suddenly nods and stretches and his shirt rides up a little and I immediately look away. Because I'm a sensible person who respects other's decency and privacy even if they don't care about it themselves.
Only then do I realize that Avi has been randomly pointing to guys and then declining them himself for me. I nod towards Blue Shirt.
"Why is he always in our class? Third years don't study in their classes?"
Avi looks towards him and shrugs, "It's a free country. He's cool. I've talked to him."
"Nice? And doesn't he have any other colour than black or blue?"
Avi stifles his smile and pointedly looks at me from top to bottom. I'm wearing black jeans with black sneakers, my white Levi's tshirt and a black sweat jacket. Alright...
"You've made your point. What about him?"
He frowns, "What about him?"
I point towards Blue Shirt. I'm horrible with names. And I can't seem to remember his. Which can be awkward.
"What if I want that one?" Should not have said that...
"Oh, he's taken." Of course he is...
"By whom?"
"You don't know? Puri, of course." WHAT!?
I merely frown at him, trying to hide my shock. "For reals? That nympho bitch? Bane of my name, quite literally?"
"Yeah... Thought you knew... Why else would he be here every day during recess?" And in the morning before class started... and in the evening after class ended... Sometimes randomly while walking around the campus... He's everywhere!
"What a waste..." No, really. A colossal waste of potential.
"You can choose anyone from the class, though."
"Too easy. Where's the fun in that? I like challenges. Like that one. Too bad he's taken by Mrs. Wormtail."
"I don't get it. What is it about him? Everyone just fawns over him because he's a super senior? He's not even one of those super sweet ones who help you out by notes or during tests." He unscrews his water bottle.
I look again inside the class as he climbs and sits on the table, leaving the bench. For some reason, he keeps stretching all the time. There are better ways to flex!
"It's the DILF energy." I smile as I respond to Avi.
"The what?"
"The dom energy. Need to be the authoritarian. Might just need a firm hand. Quite literally." Hehe, firm hand.
"The what energy again?" He starts drinking from his water bottle. Perfect timing.
"Dominant energy, if you catch my drift."
Avi suddenly chokes on the water and spits it out as people in the hallway keep giving us dirty looks. He throws his head back and laughs and I chuckle as we go back inside the class. I look towards the little group to see their reactions and see all of them except Blue Shirt to be eyeing Avi. Blue Shirt keeps staring at me with his hand on his beard. I take out my phone to avoid his gaze. I raise my eyebrows in question as he looks away. I am not in the mood for a stare off today.
*******
"So... you remember Yashwi...?" He hesitates.
"Yes, Kiddo. She follows me on Instagram..." Patient. I have to be patient. Even though this was my worst case scenario. Being cheated on. Again.
"So... she was in a bad mood yesterday..." And you cheered her up? Please no. Please don't go in that direction, for Chuck's sake!
I move around mom's office, cleaning it. I go over to my trophy case and start wiping it all down. I look at the state championship trophy for Abacus and smile at it. Good old days.
"Okay so hear me out first... and then talk..." I can hear him almost panting. This can't be good...
"Calm down, Kiddo... Take a deep breath and then talk. We don't have to talk right now if you're so stressed." I look towards the trophy and only then notice that my hands are shaking. I grip my trophy tightly in my right hand and speak into the earpiece in a calm voice.
"Kiddo... please go ahead. I'm listening."
He takes a Deep breath and then starts talking.
"So... as soon as we got out of class, she got a call. Maybe from her family. She went away to take it and when she came back, her expressions were completely different. She was really upset. And you know me, I don't like seeing people upset. So I went up to her and asked what went wrong. She wouldn't tell me. I tried to persuade her to talk to me and she wouldn't listen. So I thought I'll hug her and I did that."
"That's not so bad Kiddo. What's wrong in a hug?" Please tell me this is the end of the story.
"Let me finish. She asked me to let go of her. And I didn't. I was just... you know... messing around... It's similar to tickling a person. So I kept hugging her and she asked me to let go of her. She kept trying to push me away but I'm strong. So I kept holding her. She started yelling at me and I thought she would finally open up. I just wanted to see her happy. So... I kept hugging her... for forty minutes... almost an hour... and then I let her go as she started cussing at me... Later at night... she texted me and then said that she was really uncomfortable by what I did and that she doesn't want to see me again. She said I groped her. I was just hugging her..."
This is worse. This is a lot worse. This is worse than cheating. I look towards my hand and notice that a part of the trophy cut into my skin due to the death grip and it begins to bleed.
"You did... what?"
"I'm telling you Princess, I was just hugging her! But now she's saying all these things to me. And she told our mutual friend about this too and she isn't speaking to me either... Princess, I don't understand what to do. This is a misunderstanding!"
The wound starts bleeding till the floor.
"I.... uh... Kiddo gimme sometime... Just let me process this... I'll call you back." I hang up before hearing his reply. He's going to be mad about this.
From Kiddo :
What the hel!? How dare you hang up again?
To Kiddo :
Hardik, you... assaulted her..?
There's no response for a minute so I clean the blood off the floor and trophy and sanitize them. I pick up the phone again and see a text.
From Kiddo :
What is wrong with you, Princess!? I didn't assault her, are you crazy!?
To Kiddo :
Did she tell you to stop? Did she tell you to leave her alone?
From Kiddo:
Yes, but...
To Kiddo:
You groped her.
From Kiddo:
Just because you've been assaulted so many times doesn't mean everyone is, for satans sake!
I clutch a pencil in my arms to keep my hands from shaking as another text comes up.
From Kiddo:
I'm not that kind of a person! What is wrong with you! I would never do that to anyone!
The pencil breaks and in a fit of rage, I type the next text.
To Kiddo:
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY TIMES YOU HAVE DONE THAT TO ME?
From Kiddo:
What are you talking about?
To Kiddo:
YOU HAVE BEEN PHYSICAL WITH ME FORCEFULLY. MULTIPLE TIMES. USING 'CONVINCING' AND 'PLEADING' OR SIMPLY BEING AN ASS SO I WOULD KNOW THERE WAS ONLY ONE WAY TO MAKE IT UPTO YOU!
From Kiddo:
I didn't know...
To Kiddo:
HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW!? I WAS PRACTICALLY CRYING IN THE MIDDLE OF IT AND YOU DIDN'T REALISE!? HOW HORMONE CRAZED WERE YOU TO NOT SEE THAT THE BODY BENEATH YOURS WAS RESISTING YOU? HOW MUCH IN A HURRY TO LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY WERE YOU TO NOT REALISE THAT I WAS HURT!?
From Kiddo:
Oh my satan... this is the lowest moment of my life.
To Kiddo:
Yeah. Stew in it. I've got work to do.
I take a screenshot of the chat and forward it to Sicko. Surprisingly, his reply is instant.
From Sicko:
What... the...... Ayesha what is this!?
HE FORCED YOU!?
I will kill him. I will kill that son of a bitch.
You know what? You do the honours yourself.
I feel so useless. My best friend was going through all of this shit and I didn't even know.
His best friend? What did Hardik go though here? Why would he say that Hardik was the one – oh.
To Sicko:
I'm your best friend..?
From Sicko:
THAT'S what you're focusing on?
Yes, of course you are
To Sicko:
Oh...
From Sicko:
What?
To Sicko:
I thought maybe Monku or Hardik...
From Sicko:
Monku is bro. I haven't talked to Tiwari since we met in July. I have no wish to.
Keep me posted.
*******
I check myself in the rear view mirror of my car before getting out the door. My eyes look too dull. I put on my Aviators.
I stand near the trunk and wait for the other person to come out. I look around once more to make sure that this road really is deserted. The glasses and windows are so heavily tinted that it's impossible to make out who's behind the wheel. After thirty seconds, a familiar man in his 30s, wearing a navy blue shirt and black pants climbs down from the car. He has heavily tinted RayBan glasses on and a Bluetooth earpiece. I understand much better now why I was so intimidated when I first met him. But then again, intimidation was the purpose.
He walks straight towards me and stands at a distance and nods. I straighten my back out of habit.
"Thank you, for driving out all the way till here."
"Of course, ma'am."
"Call me Ayesha, please."
I hear a sudden high pitched sound which reminds me of hyenas and my hand reaches for my belt. He looks alarmed all of a sudden and glances towards the passenger door. A girl wearing a black and white striped top with denim shorts and converse shoes jumps out of the car. She practically gallops her way to us and stands closer to me. She must be around fifteen.
"OH MY SATAN!? YOU'RE AYESHA!? AYESHA SHARMA!?"
She looks towards the guy as he almost rolls his eyes but he warily nods at her.
"I'M SO GLAD TO FINALLY MEET YOU!"
Before I know what's happening, she jumps at her spot and pulls me into a bone crushing hug. Am I being attacked? Is this an assassination? Is this how I die?
She finally releases me but her eyes are still too big and watery and she simply won't stop talking.
"OMG! I've always wanted to meet you! You're real! I can't believe this! And you're exactly like he used to say!"
"Uh... how do you know me? I'm sorry I didn't catch your name..?"
The man speaks up, "She's my daughter. She wanted to tag along on the trip. Please excuse her, she's just a bit hungry." He says exasperatedly but there's a fondness in his voice.
"Oh satan! I can't believe this! I always wanted to meet you! You have no idea how much I've heard about you!"
I look towards the man quizzically as he responds, "She... grew up in the Kashyap house... I used to be busy but Mr. Kashyap was more than generous to take her in most of the times. She's stayed there more than our own house. And she used to adore Junior." Of course she did. Junior was good with kids.
I turn towards her, "You liked Anuj?"
She nods enthusiastically. "Bhaiyya was the best! He taught me to play the keyboard and he would tell me stories, take me places! He talked a lot about you! He talked about how you were when you were kids and how you were now. I know all about how you met and became friends."
"We weren't friends." I say out of habit and regret instantly. But her eyes light up and she starts grinning at me. "He said you would say that!"
I try to smile at her and then remember something, "Hey, you're non vegetarian?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Wait."
I go to the passenger seat of my car and retrieve the McDonalds take away bag. I offer it to her as she yells, "OMG you still use food as a love language!"
That's unnerving. I'm gonna kill Anuj. Wait-
She looks towards her dad for approval as he nods at her and then motions for her to go back to the car. She pulls me in for a hug once more and then whispers in my ear, "Thank you so much for existing. Thank you for keeping him so happy. Thank you, for everything. I am the person I am today, because of you both. Thank you so much. Thank you."
As she pulls back, I notice her eyes watering and she goes back to the car to finish her meal with a wave.
It's the first time someone has actually thanked me for Anuj. I had gotten used to "You killed him" monologues.
"You have a lovely daughter."
"Sorry about the ambush. She has been looking up to you, a lot." That can't be right...
"Why..?"
"All these years, looking after you, I always told her, I want you to be the kind of person Ayesha is. I want you to be kind and strong, sweet and ruthless. And everything else. Junior talked a lot about you to her. She fancied you. We have a cupboard in our house that might be half similar to yours." He chuckles. I've never seen him chuckle in three years. Might have something to do with his daughters' proximity.
"I'm not role model material."
"That's what you think. You did see her, right? It wasn't for show. She used to sit with Junior and look at all the pictures and videos and everything. And he would always say to her, 'Be the kind of person she is. Those are very rare.' I guess it stuck. I was more than a little surprised when she came back home with a little leather jacket that Junior bought for her. Of course, that was before I knew you."
I cannot cry. I cannot cry. I will not cry.
I go back to the car and pull out an old Amazon box. I go through it's contents for the last time. The black photo frame, Cambridge folder, swiss knife, pack of rounds, holster and the bracelet. I hand it to him and he goes through it all as his face remains impassive.
"Why are you giving these up?"
"I can't let go if I keep these things around."
I look around once again and pull out the pistol and quickly put it into the box.
"And the gun? Why would you return that?"
"It can't protect me..."
"Yes, it can."
"I was... assaulted recently... by the van driver of my college... and I couldn't do anything at that time... So, no, I don't need a gun to protect myself anymore."
His face hardens suddenly, "I'm going to need his name, address and phone number."
"I'm not giving that up."
"But you already took care of it, right?"
"Of course I did." I did not...
He nods and then says to me, "I know it's not my place to say anything to you... but keep the bracelet, at least. It has helped you in the past, it might help you in the future... Now that you don't have a gun, how are you going to find empty, hidden places and go there to shoot at glass bottles to take off the edge?"
Of course he knows about that as well... I chuckle and wordlessly take back the bracelet and put it in my pocket.
"Do you need anything else?"
"No, nothing" I take a Deep breath and say, "Thank you. For looking out for me. All these years. Even at times I didn't know you were. I know I didn't make it easy, probably made it difficult for you a lot. But thanks for looking out for me, when no one was."
"It's my job." He adds, "You know I'm ex-military? And I think it was a lot more difficult than just protecting a teenager with severe anger issues."
I laugh and see his lip curl up for the first time.
"Thank you for meeting her."
"Its nothing. She's going to grow up into a great person. I can see that."
"Of course she is. She has excellent role models."
With that, he turns around and puts the box in the back of the car. Before climbing to his seat he turns and says, "You know you don't need to let him go, right?"
"What do you mean?"
"I don't think you can let him go. Or that you should. You just need to learn to live with it. When you lose a person, you don't think about the bad times, right? You think about the good ones. He asked me to protect you. I really think that letting him go wouldn't be the right option. It's your call. Take care."
I get back in the car and drive back to home. It feels like I gave away a part of myself today. One that I can't get back. I was now, truly, a shadow of myself. I didn't recognize the person in the mirror anymore. I didn't know who she was, or who she was supposed to be. I avoided mirrors altogether.
I check inside my wallet and see I only have ₹50 left. I get a hotdog from the bakery. And if my vision turns blurry because of traitorous tear ducts, I can't really be blamed for that.
*******
"I can't believe you would do that! How exactly do you manage to make everything about yourself!?"
"When did I do that!? All I'm saying is, you're at fault here! You should apologise to her. And if she decides to not forgive you, you need to get on with it! Stop forcing her to accept your apology!"
"If you use the word 'force' for me again-"
"It's the truth! Stop playing the victim in this situation, Hardik! This is disastrous!"
"You? You're telling me not to play the victim card!? When it's all you've done in your life!?"
I pull the blanket closer to myself and don't bother wiping my tears anymore. I look at the wall clock. 3 A.M. Thank satan for the weekend!
"When did I do that!?"
"Always?" He shouts. "Explain something to me, will you, idiot? How is it that you kill a guy and when you obviously suffer from its side effects in forms of PTSD and shit, you're the sad one? How is your life sad?"
"You... you said it was okay..."
"Did I tell a hallucinating freak that her mind playing tricks on her was normal? Of course I did! What else was I supposed to do!?"
I try to stifle a sob so he doesn't hear me.
"Well, at least you're not holding back anymore."
"Yes, because I'm away from you now. You're the one who held me back. It's you who can't keep a relationship. It's you who people get tired of. It's you who ruins basically everything she touches! There is just so much BAGGAGE! You never let go of things! You hold on to them! You simply can't move on! I can't tolerate it anymore! I'm sick and tired of the drama that seems to always follow you around! How are you never happy? Why do you always have a reason to be sad!? And why do you have this hero complex? There is always some reason. Some back story. There is so much. You are too much."
"Well, I'm sorry my life is such an inconvenience for you... Imagine living it."
"Stop crying! Don't make me feel bad by doing that! Don't you dare make me feel bad for finally speaking the truth! You think you can talk without crying for once!?"
I take a couple of deep breaths and look up towards the ceiling. I hear steps on the wooden floor and look at Brownie standing at the door, her head tilted at me. She wordlessly climbs on the bed and curls up near my feet.
"Why are you quiet now? The great Ayesha Sharma doesn't have any witty remarks? No comments? No comebacks? That's pathetic. See, you never really gave up our old persona, even though you lost everything that made you, you. You still have this belief that you're a good person. This is why Abhi got tired of you. This is why I'm tired too. But of course, you're Ayesha Sharma . So when another person comes along, he'll be in love with you too. Because that's the way it's supposed to be, isn't it? And then after a year or so, he'll realize it too. That you're nothing. You're capable of nothing and you're absolutely nothing. And mark my words, this will keep happening unless you work on yourself. Stop ruining peoples' lives just because you're screwed up in the head."
"Please stop talking."
"Why? You hate the truth, don't you? Well, I'm not one of your minions who's going to come to you with their tail between their legs and listen to every word you say. And your so called friends? They're all useless too. The fact that they chose to stay with you all these years says a lot about them in itself. No one in your little pathetic group is ever going to accomplish anything in life. Because the fact remains. You're in a dumpster right now. And all these people who claim to be around, they will realize it soon. You're not worth sticking for. You all are a rotten crowd."
And... that's it.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN? How dare you say anything about them!?"
"So you don't speak out for yourself, but you suddenly have a lot to say when I bring them up? That's pathetic."
"No, you human centipede! It's not pathetic. Keep your comments to me. Not to them, absolutely not. These are the only ones I have!"
"Let's talk about Sicko."
"No. Way."
"What do you guys talk about till 1 at night? Why does he know more about you sometimes than I do? What is it that you did to him to convince him to still be friends with you? Why is he so protective of you? What happened between you guys when he came to Ahmedabad in July. Did you guys use each other to drown out the sadness you have from this relationship? Is that why you're so close?"
"HARDIK SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH." Surprisingly, he goes quiet.
"These people, they are all I have! I am not the part of a huge family that adores me! I haven't had huge family dinners or cousins I could fool around with or talk to, about! I was not brought up in the same environment that you were! These people, they are my... they are my family. They are. And I won't let you or anyone hurt them or even think about it. Because to get to them, you'll have to go through me. And you know damn well, what I can be like when it comes to protecting the people I love. You as much as breathe wrong in their direction, I will end you, Tiwari. Get that through your thick, inarticulate head. You utter another word about them, and I just need to make a call then. They're my family, Hardik. Nandini, Pari, Moksh and Sicko. You might not be there in the upcoming times. They will be."
He doesn't respond anything for a whole minute and then sniffles and says in a dull voice, "You really don't get it, do you? That is the problem. Sicko was supposed to be my best friend! You took him from me."
"I didn't take him from you! I was aware that we had common friends! I didn't know that's what you thought! I could say the same about Muskan!? She was supposed to be my friend? And we barely talk anymore? You didn't lose your friends because of me. You lost them because you suck at keeping in touch. When was the last time you talked to Factorial? When was the last time you reached out to Sicko? You lost them because you're a horrible friend. I might be a terrible girlfriend, but I know for a fact that I'm a damn good friend. This isn't on me. I always encouraged you to see Bharat every weekend. You kept cancelling on him too. No wonder he doesn't talk to you anymore."
He doesn't say anything for a couple of minutes and then, "Don't be under the illusion that they won't leave you. They will. Nobody wants a loser around. And people always do leave you."
And the line goes dead. I look up to the sound of heavier steps and see Jingle sleepily trudge up to my bed. She blinks, yawns and keeps looking at me, as if she understands everything. Which I know she does.
"Hey sweetheart, you wanna climb up here?" She puts her mouth on the bed. I get down and help her up and she settles near the pillow. Between her and Brownie, there's barely any space left on the single bed for me. I cover them both with a blanket and curl up next to her and put an arm around her. Brownie is fast asleep.
"Jingle, you still like me, right?"
She's never been particularly affectionate. Or cuddly. But somehow she always seems to understand me. She moves her mouth and I realize she's licking away my tears from my cheeks. I hug her and cry myself to sleep again.
*******
Nandini has her lips pursed, wanting to say a lot. Pari is worried because she's never seen me cry like this. And Monku is just downright depressed. I play the call recording from last night as I'm in no mood to recount last night's events.
Pari is the first one to speak. "Aish... dude what kind of a cluster shit is this?"
"It's always been like this, just gotten worse now." Monku adds.
After a minute where no one says anything, Nandini finally speaks up, "We are... your family..? You really think that..?"
"Of course I do. Wisest words by Dean Winchester, 'Family don't end in blood. But it doesn't start there either."
I notice that she's crying too. Even Monku's eyes shine with unshed tears. Pari buries her head between her folded hands.
My phone rings and shows Sicko's caller ID.
"AISH WHAT HAPPENED!? YOU TEXTED AT 3 LAST NIGHT!? ARE YOU CRYING!? I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU CRIED! AISH I CAN'T BEAR YOU CRYING. PLEASE!"
"I... I don't know Sicko! He kept saying all these things and I listened to it but then he brought you up... and I completely l-lost i-it. I don't know, okay?"
The phone is on speaker and placed on the bed between me, Nandini, Pari and Monku. They keep giving me worried glances. Which is only right, they've never seen me this distraught before. The line is silent for a minute before he says almost too quietly.
"You... fought him... for me..? For us..?"
"Yes."
"Knowing you can't break things off with him?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Don't ask stupid questions, Sicko."
The entire room is quiet for a long time. Nandu sniffles while Monku tries to discreetly wipe off his tears. He fails at that. Pari keeps looking at the phone, waiting for Sicko to say something.
Nandini breaks the silence, "You know I never cuss, right? I've never done it?"
I nod and she almost yells, "But Tiwari is a major asshole."
Pari's eyes bulge and Monku whips his head towards her. She simply shrugs. How are she and Sicko not together already!?
Suddenly, I find this situation entirely hilarious. "I've been trying to get you to swear for years and this is what really does it? Seriously, Nandu?"
"An asshole is an asshole and he deserves to be called out."
I'm the first one to break. I suddenly can't stop laughing. I throw my head back and laugh like I haven't done in years. Monku is the next one to join in. He starts coughing to hide it but then he's full on laughing till the point his face is flushed. Pari just grins until Nandini herself joins in as even Sicko starts chuckling on the call.
We laugh until I fall back on the bed and Monku complains of his stomach aching. Pari almost falls from the bed and Nandu gets a call from her mother downstairs, wondering why we're all laughing so loudly.
Yeah, this is my family. An artistic prodigy who was too sweet for her own good, a brother who fell in love way too often and randomly and had absurd levels of knowledge about porn, a future fashion designer who had a weird tendency to sniff out attractive boys and brands, an almost-industrialist who had way too much heart than he cared to show and an ex-scholar whose coping mechanisms are doubtful.
I don't need anyone else. A few years in the future, maybe I'll dare to love again. And when I do, these will be the people I will celebrate my happiness with because I know these are the same people who will be there at my lowest time too.
We might not be able to solve each others' problems. But at least we don't let each other go through shit alone. And isn't that what family is all about?