Trigger warning.
This chapter specifically talks about self harm, abuse, alcoholism, body image and other content that is 17 . Please always take care of yourself and know that these topics and more will be talked about in this story.
-
I fell asleep with a smile on my face.
But the nightmares arrived on my door step once again.
'You're just like your Mother aren't you. You're dangerous. She should've taken you with her when she left. It would've saved me the burden of having to raise you.' The words spat out of my Fathers mouth. But I was an outsider looking in. I couldn't do anything to save myself.
I was only eight.
I watched as he hit me. Over. And over again. My face was red and bruised. And then he pulled out his knife. I watched as he inched towards me.
I watched as the images changed. To me locked in my bedroom with a knife. and I held it to my skin. preparing myself for what I was going to do next.
Until I felt cold hands grab me by the shoulders and shake me awake
'Venus I'm here. Venus wake up.' He said to me softly.
I felt my hands grab his shoulders and pull him down to hug me.
'You're safe with me Vee I'm here.' He said softly.
I felt his skin. He was wearing just a pair of sweatpants. I let my hands grip his shoulders. He was built,but not too built.
I saw a grey blanket on the end of the bed. He rubbed my back trying to calm me down.
I'm crying still. I hadn't stopped yet. I wiped away my tears quickly before I spoke
'What's the blanket for Draco?' I whisper
'You're coming back to my dorm Venus.' He whispered back
'But why the blanket?' I asked
'Because I feel bad that every time you have to change clothes to leave your dorm.' He told me
I nodded and sat up to reach his face. He kissed me on the forehead before I sat up to wrap myself in the blanket. I felt his hands wrap around my waist to turn me around. He was standing too now. I watched as he looked me up and down.
'What Draco?' I questioned as his eyes didn't meet mine. He just focused everywhere except my face.
'Draco? I'm talking to you.' I repeated myself.
He finally looked at me in the eye
'You're wearing just a t shirt' He said in astonishment, his eyes trailed down to my thighs and my hips.
I smiled innocently at him as I put the blanket around my shoulders. Draco was the only person to see me like this. Vulnerable.
'It's my pyjamas. I don't know whats got you so interested.' I said as I watched him walk toward me.
He crouched down and lifted me up bridal style as I held onto the blanket, resting my head against his chest. I smiled as we walked to his dorm.
I looked at him as we walked into his dark dorm. He set me down on the bed and took the blanket off my shoulders and folded it and laid it on the trunk below the bed. As he made his way back to the bed I got under his cold sheets and waited for him. I felt him sink into the bed next to me. We faced each other. One of his arms rested under my neck and the other sat on my waist and pulled me closer to his chest. My fingers ran through his hair a couple of times before he whispered.
'Sweet dreams Venus.'
He placed a kiss on my forehead as I fell slowly asleep.
I woke up to Blaise knocking on Draco's door.
'Malfoy. Get out here now we're going to be fucking late.' He said through the door. I opened my eyes and Draco was dead asleep beside me. I shook him gently.
'Draco wake up your'e late. Draco. Draco. MALFOY.' I shouted the last part as he hadn't woken up yet.
'Vee?' I heard Blaise say in awe that I was in his dorm.
'Jesus Venus what is it.' Draco said to me.
I felt a tingle run down my spine as I heard his voice. It was deeper and more rough than usual
'Erm, Blaise is at the door.' I stuttered.
'What do you want Zabini' He bellowed.
'You are late Draco. Get your ass out of bed and get down the pitch now.' Blaise sneered
'Fuck I need to go now Venus. I'm sorry.' Draco yawned as he got out of bed and started rummaging around in his drawers for his quidditch uniform.
I stared at him. I took in what I saw before me. Draco's hair in a toss, His sweatpants a bit lower than they should be, and him arched over his drawers in a rush. His predominant muscles caught my eye. I stood up and stretched, the t-shirt rose slightly, I puled it down again hoping he wouldn't see. I made my way over to the trunk and took the blanket off of it to wrap it around my body again.
'Thank you for last night. I'll see you in a bit.' I said softly, before I ran out of his dorm and back to mine.
I spent an hour getting ready to leave for the match. I put on my boots over my blacker than black tights. My skirt fell before my knees and my hoodie covered the string top I was wearing. I slid my wand in my boot and walked out to see Pansy waiting for me, sitting sideways across the armchairs.
'Looking comfy Pans?' I laughed at her.
'I am Vee, and I heard you and Draco were together last night hm?' She tilted her head at me
'Not the way you think Parkinson.' I said as I stood above her chair.
'Now lets go were already almost ten minutes late.' I said as I walked away.
Pansy and I walked hand in hand to the pitch and up to the viewing stands and in the Slytherin stand. We sat in front of a group of girls. Not really taking notice who they were.
We watched them play against Hufflepuff and chase each other back and forth. I had my eyes on Draco. He flew in every different direction. Obviously looking for the snitch that I couldn't. As Draco flew by our stand for the first time. He shot me a wink sarcastically as we made eye contact. Pansy nudged me playfully and I laughed at her.
'I can't believe he winked at you Astoria oh my days, you need to talk to him after the match about you two.' I heard someone say behind me.
I looked over my shoulder to see Astoria Greengrass in a kip. I shot her a dirty look and turned back to Pansy.
'Don't you dare start anything Vee. I won't be helping you out of it this time.' She said to me as she squeezed my hand. I sighed and tried to focus on the match.
'Why are you so tense Smith. He would never look twice at an ugly slut like you' I heard Astoria sneer in my ear. I turned right around to Pansy and said,
'I'm so sorry in advance.' I said clearly before I snapped the whole way around and started beating Astoria.
The crowd cheered as Draco caught the snitch. The cheering muffled Astoria's cry's. And they muffled the sound of Pansy telling me to get off of her. I took one or two small, pathetic punches to the face. But as the cheering died down a wave of anger took over me. I went to reach for my wand in my boot. Only to find it wasn't there. I looked back to see Pansy running towards me with my wand in her hand. I looked behind her too see McGonagall coming my way too.
I looked down at Astoria's bloodied face and felt a tear roll down my cheek. I had done this. I felt McGonagall pull me off of her as I looked at Pansy in shock as to what I had done to that girl. I felt my nose start to drip with blood as McGonagall took me back to the Castle and sat me in Dumbledore's office.
I tapped my foot off the floor as I felt my nail dig into my palms. They started to drip too. My nose and my palms both dripping blood. What happened? What was I thinking?
'I'm disappointed Venus.' I heard Dumbledore say to me. I turned to see him walking to his office seat.
'I am too professor.' I said quietly. I looked up to see him staring at me. He looked utterly dumbfounded.
'You'll have detention for an hour tonight. Make sure you get your wand back from Miss. Parkinson too. Now off you go.' He said to me coldly.
Without a word I stood up and stormed out of the office and made my way to the common room. I muttered the password quickly and as I opened the door I remembered They were having a victory party. I sighed and shuffled through all the students and made my way to my dorm. The only time I stopped moving was to pick up a bottle of Fire Whiskey. I knew I was going to have a rough night.
I got into my dorm and slammed the door behind me. I immediately saw Draco sat at the end of the bed. I unscrewed the cap of the Fire Whiskey and took a sip as we looked at each other.
'Pansy told me.' He said.
'Mhm. Of course she did. Did she tell you about the part where she called me a slut too? And where she told me I'm too ugly for you to even look twice at?' I said back to him as I took another long sip. I saw his eyes widen at the last part.
I started moving towards the other end of the bed. I sat on the edge of it and stretched the bottle out to him, offering him a sip.
'I'm sorry I missed you catch the snitch.' I said as he took a sip and handed it back to me. I took another sip.
'And I'm sorry I missed you beating the shit out of Astoria' He said seriously
I chuckled as he said it. And kept drinking.
'You shouldn't drink Venus. It's not good for you' He said as he didn't look away from me.
'I need to sleep tonight. So I drink.'I explained as I slugged down a few mouthfuls of the whiskey.
He pushed up on the bed so he was next to me and pulled my face to look at him causing my mouth to be ripped away from the bottle. Leaving a drip on my bottom lip. He quickly wiped it away with his thumb. And proceeded to put his thumb in his mouth to taste it. I felt a knot in my stomach grow. God he knew what he was doing.
He stood up and took the bottle from me and he started walking towards the door
'I really am sorry I missed seeing the fight. I heard Greengrass didn't even have a chance. I'll be in my dorm if you need me. Only a minute away.' He said before leaving me alone on the bed.
All alone. Without a drink. Cold. And full of regret. Here on this bed. Once again.