I'm the house rep for my class. Woo! Also I'm so so so tired but I'm not going to forget about y'all.
Have fun x
A
After a very mediocre New Years celebration with a lot of wine, laughter and snowball fights Niall and I were finally ready to go back to LA. My dad was already sad over the fact that I had to leave but I promised him I'd be home soon. He made me swear on myself that I wouldn't lose all hope and that I'll continue to be the best I can at my job.
There was around two hours until I had to get in the car and leave Grasmere. I informed my dad that I'll be out on a walk and I'll be back home soon before leaving. Walking down the road I ran around as a child continued to be a source of heavy nostalgia for me. I reached the very familiar church and pushed the gate open.
My feet led me to the place I come only before I leave Grasmere. I stood at the foot of it, reading the words engraved on it.
Eliza Jamilah March
Loving wife and mother to three wonderful children
You will be missed dearly
I love you Lily
until the day I die
My glove covered hand knocked some of the snow off her grave. My heart felt heavy, reading the words I've read for 10, almost 11, whole years now.
"I miss you more than you know mama," I whispered, my eyes turning glassy with unshed tears.
"Don't worry. I'm not going to cry. At least I'll try not to," I chuckled, wiping away the tears.
"So much is happening mama. I hope you're watching me from up there. What a mess, my life. I wish you were here with me. Maybe you could've helped me, who knows," I said.
"Can't believe I've been without you for longer than I have been with you. I can't accept it. My heart doesn't want to," I continued.
"I just hope you'll give me the strength to, you know, get through this. I hope you're happy wherever you are mama. I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life," I said, repeating her words back to her.
"Bye mama," I said, gently kissing the head of her gravestone. I entered the church and gave a quick prayer to keep my family healthy and have a safe flight back to LA before returning home.
"Talked to mama?" Vanna asked and I nodded. I hugged her and sighed heavily.
"Are we ready to leave?" Niall asked, entering the living room. "Oh."
"Yeah of course. I bought my bag down earlier," I said.
"Okay Uh... Sorry," he apologised.
"Don't be," I chuckled.
After another round of goodbyes we finally made our way back to Blackpool. Our flight was in about four hours and we had just entered the airport. Zara started crying when we had to leave and she was seemingly sad about Niall leaving as well. The two of us promised we'd come back soon, even though I don't know how credible that statement is.
After the ever so long security process later we finally boarded the plane. I felt like crying every time I had to go back to LA. Just a whole bout of homesickness hits me when I return to LA after spending a good two and a half weeks at home.
"Don't cry," Niall whispered to me. I just laughed a little and wiped away whatever tears were falling.
"Just gonna miss home," I said.
"I understand," he nodded stiffly.
"Well at least we got like a three week break," I said.
"Of course. Don't know what bullshit we have to do once we land in LA," he rolled his eyes in sheer annoyance.
"Just another three months. I think I can hold up until then," I said.
"Yeah maybe you can. Me? I don't think so," he sighed.
"It's our job," I reminded him.
"I fucking hate it," was the last comment he made before keeping his mouth shut for the rest of the ride. I found the engagement ring I was supposed to wear and slipped it back on my finger.
Just as we exited the airport, we were surrounded by paps clicking pictures of us left and right. Of course when an A-list celebrity couple goes MIA and comes back there's going to five times the usual paps. We found Niall's car and got into it.
"Jesus fucking Christ, it's like a zombie apocalypse out there," Niall said, looking around while he spun the steering wheel to get his car out of the airport parking.
"I hate paps," I muttered. Niall dropped me off at my place and immediately I hated the quietness of my house. Not a single noise was made, bathing the house in utter silence. I decided since it was still like mid day I could put my things away and then get some sleep so I started on it.
An hour later I was done unpacking all my clothes and I got into my bed, immediately falling asleep. A couple days fly by and I was still sleeping off the jet lag and home sickness. I got a call from none other than Mr. Manager himself.
"Yes Andrew?" I said into the phone as I cooked my lunch.
"Since you were gone for two weeks you have to do a lot in the coming week if you want to catch up. It's fashion week for Balmain's spring-summer collection in another two weeks. You need to go for practice and fittings like tomorrow," he said.
"Got it. Anything else? Any shoots?" I asked.
"Not as of now but I think Prada wanted another model for their new collection advert," he said.
"Alright. Well let me know then," I said and ended the call. After my lunch I decided to be like my old self and go live. It's sad that I referred to it as my 'old self' but it was true. I have lost a sense of who I am because of everything. My apprehension towards both social media apps that I used only increased.
Once I started the live people started flooding in.
"Hey people! So I know I've been MIA for a while but now I'm back! I'm back and ready to answer some questions and talk," I said, my hands clapping together.
"What have I done all day? Sleeping off a jet lag because that's what happens when there's a drastic change in time zones," I said.
"Where was I? Homeee. Went home for the holidays, had a full blast with my little family and now I'm back to work mode," I chuckled.
"Speaking of work, have I got anything lined up? Actually, not much but it's only been like two days since I got back so we'll see," I said.
"How was Christmas and New Years? Oh fun as always. Zara had a blast of a birthday as always. Christmas was a colossal blast because duh it's Christmas. New Years was as usual," I shrugged.
"Gifts? Bunch of clothes, shoes, a phone case with my family on it, a card from Zara of course uhh yeah that's about it," I said.
"Right you want me to pick someone to talk to, Alright," I was terrified I'd end up picking someone who hated me because of my very fake relationship but thankfully that wasn't the case.
"Oh my god hi!" She waved excitedly.
"Hello!" I smiled back. "So what's your name?"
"Katrina," She answered.
"Hi Kat. How are you?" I asked.
"Great. Umm I have a question," she said.
"Alright, shoot," I chuckled.
"The Christmas cuddles picture, was it Niall?" She asked.
"It was Niall, yes," I nodded, an unintentional blush covering my cheeks.
"Aww you guys are absolutely adorable. People can be really rude sometimes. I hope you're okay," She said.
"No, I'm doing great actually. Hate is something you get accustomed to," I said nonchalantly.
"But you shouldn't be getting hate for who you're with. That's just a load of... bs," she said.
"You can't always be the best, you know? There are always going to be some people who'll hate on you for absolutely nothing but that shouldn't change who you are as a person," I said.
"You're a strong person, Alexa. Such an inspiration. You're my role model," she said.
"I'll try to be the best role model I can then," I chuckled.
"I love you so much Alexa. I also love Niall. Can you tell him that?" She asked, making me laugh.
"I heard you," I heard Niall say.
"You really need to stop sneaking into my house, mister," I scolded him when I turned to see him. He had a big box in his hand.
"Trying to keep a surprise here, miss," he rolled his eyes and set the box next to me.
"What you want me to open this?" I asked.
"Oh no it's for my neighbour, just thought I'd keep it here- of course it's for you," He said, sitting next to me.
"Hi... I don't know your name but I love you too," Niall told Katrina.
"Okay wow I want umm I wasn't expecting this uhh," She stuttered and I laughed.
"Take a deep breath," I instructed. "Do you want me to turn it off?" I asked Niall.
"Up to you. It's just a gift," he shrugged.
"Well I guess I'm opening my Christmas gift on a live then," I chuckled.
"Do I shake it first?" I asked, gripping the box on both sides to pick it up.
"Jesus, don't," He said, slapping his palm on top of the box to stop me from doing that. I ripped the wrapping paper off of the box.
"Okay then," I said, opening the top of the box. Well fuck wasn't I glad I didn't shake the life out of the box. Because if I did I would've shook the life out of a puppy.
"Holy fucking shit!" I exclaimed, picking the puppy out of the box.
"Oh my god, I'm going to cry. She's so cute stop," I cooed, holding the squeaking little yorkie up to my chest.
"Aww my god I can't. She's so cute!" I shrieked, still in awe of the little pup. Niall just chuckled at my, in my defence, very rational reaction to a puppy.
"I'm dying bye. She's so cute, bah!" I continued making absolutely random noises.
"Thank you, Thank you, Thank you," I said, climbing onto Niall's lap and hugging the life out of him.
"You're welcome, now get off of me woman," he laughed, gently peeling me off of him.
"Gosh I fucking love you," I said exuberantly, not even thinking of my words. I shouldn't have said that. And now he's not going to say it back and it's going to be hella awkward.
"I fucking love you too," he laughed.
"Oh my god she's so tiny!" I said. The puppy fit in the palm of my hand snugly.
"Does she have a name?" I asked, still in awe of the pup.
"No but I have a name in mind. I mean it's your puppy but I thought it would be-," I cut him off with a laugh.
"Stop ranting and tell me. I want some ideas," I said.
"Pepper," He said and I pondered the name. The name not only was a sweet reminder of home but also a little moment Niall and I shared.
"Aww that's a cute name. I like it. Do you huh Pepper? You like it?" I asked in a babyish voice to the puppy who just woofed cutely.
"I'm going to die, this puppy is so cute!" I shrieked again.
"I get it Lexa. Calm down," Niall laughed.
"Alright I think I'm going to end this live now and spend some time with my new puppy, Pepper," I said, waving a bye to all and turning the live off.
"Oh my god Niall, this was so unexpected but thank you so much," I gasped out.
"Don't be. You did so much for me over the past like three weeks so I thought this can be a nice thank you gift," he said.
"This is just- wow. Wow," I said.
"I've got all her paperwork done and there's another box by the door with food, toys and other necessities," he said.
"Wow this is well thought out," I said.
"Been making calls since Christmas," he said.
"Wow," I said again.
"I'm getting tired of that word," he laughed, leaning back on my couch. I set pepper down and she waddled over to Niall. Niall obviously picked her up easily.
"Hey there. Aww you are so cute," he said, holding the little pup close to him. I did sneakily take a picture of the two because 'oh my god, cute'. We spent the rest of the day playing around with little pepper and helping her get used to the house. Thankfully she is potty trained, can't imagine doing that with the schedule that I have. She was still so small so I didn't want her running up and down the stairs because she could break her bones but like aside from all that,
I finally had a puppy!