僕の戦争 「ぼくのせんそう」: my war
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sora is back to brazil after spending a good one week in japan. the temperature contrast is kind of too much for him at first. but the summer is kind of the same with japan, the hot temperature is just annoying to deal with sometimes.
the man sighed as he propped his head on his hand, eyes trained to the sea.
he has been spending all of his free time (which is only a few) to go to the nearest beach near his apartment. for no apparent reason. the sea reminds him of japan, maybe this is a way to cure his homesickness.
many things has happened over the past years he has been living in brazil. first of all, he has started to see physciatrist. regarding to his deteriorating mental health, it is wise of him to start to see psychiatrist. he ain't taking any risk of having panic attack in a middle of a match.
his parents actually didn't allow him to change citizenship, afterall he is their pride and joy. whose parents wouldn't be prideful with a kid that can do everything like sorashi? but in the end, after some negotiation and a lot of talks with them (and also because of tenma) he can now live in brazil. a new fresh start for the new chapter of his life.
sorashi hummed as he watched the surfers riding the waves.
if he remembers correctly, he should be meeting someone this evening in this beach. but apparently, this certain someone is late by thirty minutes. sorashi could only sit on the beach chair as he watched the waves rolled.
about haizaki. sorashi has long cut ties with him. the event that took in the nationals years ago was one of the two meetings he had with the guy. the two's story is still a mystery though until now. even tenma doesn't know anything. only iwaizumi knows a good chunk of it.
talking about iwaizumi, the man is studying in america for a good while, making everyone jealous by his english skill. the man really had the audacity to brag it too with everyone when he was back to japan (mostly mocking oikawa because oikawa is still not fluent at that time.) but beside that, iwaizumi is still the same as he was before. scolding the overly-perfectionist duo, oikawa and sorashi, when he heard about they overwork themselves again. such a good guy, isn't he?
meanwhile oikawa tooru, he has changed over the course of his time in argentina. man is calm now. he is also better at regulating his own emotions. sorashi has met him multiple times through official games and outside schedule like this.
"tooru, where have you been?" sorashi groaned, looking at the man who is currently standing beside him.
"traffic," oikawa sighed. he then sat beside sorashi, mirroring him, looking at the sea. "they are crazier than japan sometimes."
"it's most of the times to be honest." sorashi laughed.
"so how was japan? you met tobio and the others, right?" oikawa asked, sipping the mineral water bottle. sorashi only hummed at that.
"japan was, well, japan." sora chuckled. "nothing has changed except they have grown so much since the last time i saw them."
oikawa laughed alongside sorashi. "must be fun back at japan."
sorashi's eyes crinkled into a crescent shaped moon. "it is. reunion with those who supported me since yesterday age was fun and nice."
oikawa huffed out a laugh again. "well, well, don't make the melancholy eat you out that you become all mushy."
"oya? are you declaring a war?" sorashi cocked his eyebrow towards oikawa.
oikawa grinned, "of course."
"afterall, this is our last meeting before olympic."
the distant crashing sound of waves can be heard, filling the comfortable silence between the two volleyball players.
"we were an idiot, weren't we?" oikawa suddenly asked.
sorashi sighed softly, "we were, but because of that we are here now." sorashi leaned back to the chair after that, sipping his coconut while taking off his sunglasses. "we need to be an idiot first to be like now."
"i guess you are right," oikawa said. "to climb a ladder, we need to be at the bottom first."
"ooh, reminiscing the past are we?"
"shut up." oikawa grumbled in annoyance while sorashi roared in laughter.
it took a while to stop from laughing but sora successfully stopped his laughter. he sniffed and wiped the tears that has formed on the corners of his eyes. after he cleared his throat, sora began to talk again, "should we end our japan chapter?"
"like my chemical romance said, so long and goodnight." oikawa closed his eyes and smiled.
"you listened to mcr too?!"
olympic. both sorashi and oikawa has been waiting for this moment since forever. they have a promise, to fight against each other to decide who will pay the next meal they hang out. beside that, man, they are also so excited to fight against japan. to fight against their former teammates and opponents.
this is a some next level family drama over here. sadly, sorashi didn't join argentina. oikawa actually whined about that to sorashi once. and the man only merely shrugged the setter off, saying about it wouldn't be fair if they were too overpower.
it's actually just oikawa being a petty king. he has a little grudge against kageyama, still afterall this time. it's fummy to see oikawa so worked up everytime kageyama's name being mentioned. like that one time he choked on his food because sora asked him about whether he watched kageyama's match or not.
he grumbles, he holds grudges, but he actually grateful. he realized because of this he achieved his dream of being at the top. not quite the top, sora is in the top currently but you get it what i mean.
as for sorashi, he is now in the spotlight. stealing the show from everyone, making a fame of his name after the years of only filling the gaps. he was actually can do better than how he did in highschool but his mental state said no.
also, this is a reminder for everyone that someone might seem like he is okay but is actually not okay. and the scary part is the person themself might not notice it.
how does it feel to be at the top? nerve-wracking, yet sora feels like he is finally there, in a place where he can express himself freely without thinking too hard about things thus are not relevant to him.
in the end, he realized, that forcing yourself won't produce anything good. it'll only bring yourself harm. yes, there might be a time where you need to force yourself, but is it really worth it to do it everyday?
no matter how hard and difficult it is to pass, you will pass it in the end.
even though the sky is dark, the night is long, and no one can hear nor see you, in the end the dawn will break, and a new day will start. the sun will shine on us once again, erasing the darkness for a while, long enough to us to regain our composure.
standing under the sun for too long might not be the best feeling, but after the long night out in cold, it feels good.
for years sorashi searched for his own happiness. begging for validation from others, running in havoc trying to find an escape from the inescapable hole named "perfectionism". in the end, he found his own happiness.
the wingless crow's wings have healed. he now can soar in the expanse of the blue bright sky. bathing under the warm and gentle shine of the sun, leaving the long nights of terrors and pain.
this was a war. and udai sorashi has won the war. he has won the war and now walking with head held high.
°「終わり」°