AN: I want to thank you for your patience because this chapter ended up longer than I expected and it took me a few days to finish it. We're going to cover a few episodes in the drama with this chapter. I'll let you find out which ones. Thank you so much for all the support and feedback and votes! I'm still pretty much figuring out how to handle Wattpad and I'm a little overwhelmed sometimes but I love every minute of it. Thank you so much for reading and I hope you'll enjoy this part!
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PART 5
Se-ri wakes to beeps and voices and none of them are Jeong-hyeok's.
She wonders if she's still dreaming and it hurts to breathe — she can't find his voice, much like she couldn't find it in her dream. Hundreds of faceless people — and some people with faces that she wants to stay far away from — kept passing by her, and none of them were him. Much like none of these voices are his.
Her mind is completely hazy — it's as if she's just woken up from a very fuzzy dream, where nothing makes sense. She feels sore and exhausted, a little lost because she has no idea what day it is or what she's doing here. She vaguely remembers bits and pieces — driving the boys to the trap, Jeong-hyeok chasing Cho Cheol Gang, a gun pointed right at him...
It doesn't take her more than a few minutes to understand it all — that she saved him, and she's gone to surgery, and she's in the hospital and her family has just been kicked out of her room. Se-ri sighs and shakes her head when the nurse asks her if she feels nauseous, and tries to sit up on the bed. She looks around — the room is comfortable and good, but devoid of personal items. Whoever has been here didn't take much time to spend here.
Well, she thinks begrudgingly. That's what her brothers are good at.
She doesn't feel much, not physically, despite pure exhaustion and weakness, as if she hasn't been eating much or even drinking anything. In truth, Se-ri doesn't remember ever feeling this way, not even at her worst, all those years ago, while battling insomnia and eating disorders. Above everything, there's a restlessness in her heart — where is he? Has he left? Is he safe? Is he healthy?
Before any of these questions can be answered, however, a bunch of doctors comes in, just as the nurse is adjusting Se-ri's covers and pillow. Se-ri barely looks up, wanting nothing more than to be left alone — with her cellphone, preferably.
"Ms. Yoon, good to see you're awake," one of the doctors said, a man in his fifties. He quickly examines her eyes, the flashlight causing Se-ri to cringe a little. "You've been out for just over a day. Your reflexes are good."
Se-ri hums. "What exactly happened?"
"You sustained an internal injury on your upper thorax because of a bullet impact. We call that a pneumothorax," the doctor explains, checking her vitals and writing something down. "We performed surgery, and you lost a lot of blood. You may be feeling a little weak these first few days. But you should be fine."
Se-ri nods, feeling a mild discomfort as the nurse asks her to lift her top so they can check her stitches. Her mind is so hazy that she can barely think straight, only doing what they ask her to do. Once the doctor is satisfied with her recovery, he looks up, just as the nurse is helping Se-ri button up her top once again.
"I understand if this is a bit of a shock," the doctor continues, "but as you arrived a series of procedures had to be done before the emergency surgery. There was no update on your medical files regarding this. You are pregnant."
This makes Se-ri look up instantly, fingers stalling at their task. The nurse quietly buttons the rest of the top. The doctor merely nods, as if this is simply a daily occurrence.
"What?"
He smiles sympathetically. "Yes. It's very recent, so it's completely understandable if you didn't know. You're at about six weeks along, according to the OB/GYN who assisted your surgery. You're scheduled for an ultrasound tomorrow."
Se-ri is dumbfounded, speechless. Not an easy feat to gather such a reaction from her.
"But I... I never knew I was pregnant," Se-ri says frowning slightly. "I didn't take care of myself, and I saw no signals that this was a possibility."
"It happens," the doctor merely says. "Unless you've been smoking too much or exceeding in alcohol, there should be no further issues."
Se-ri's eyes widen. "It's fine, then?"
The doctor nods with a smile. "Yes. Thankfully you were brought here as soon as possible. There have been no real issues with the pregnancy. You must only take care of yourself and recover quickly. You have a healthy baby on the way, Ms. Yoon."
The doctors ask more questions and examine her further — which is to be expected since she's pretty sure her father is part of the board meeting of this hospital. It feels like so much time has passed when they finally leave, ordering her to take it easy and before long Se-ri finds herself alone in the unfamiliar room, watching the snow falling outside from the large windows beside her bed. Her mind is a little clearer now, albeit still confusing, coming to terms with everything.
She's not truly alone, she realizes.
A hand slips across her lower belly, her palm cold against the warmth of her body, but she pulls away once she truly understands what she's doing.
There's a baby.
Part of her doesn't truly comprehend it — she even had her period, or so she thought, soon after returning from North Korea. Although that was not her actual period, and there's a weird, unknown feeling in the pit of her stomach when she thinks that maybe she could have lost this... gift, there's no other way of calling it, not really — she might have lost it without even actually knowing she had it, be it before or after being shot.
At the same time, she can't quite grasp the fact that she was shot — in Seoul, what the hell is going on with her life? — and her mind reels with thoughts of possibly talking to the police and revealing anything she shouldn't, or even the fact that perhaps Jeong-hyeok has gone or maybe even Cho Cheol Gang got him...
Before she can torture herself any longer, however, the door slides open and Se-ri tenses up, wondering if one of her brothers returned or even her parents — but a tearful Mr. Hong appears, clearly unsettled.
"Daepyonim," he starts, and Se-ri slowly rests her head against her pillow.
"Mr. Hong," Se-ri speaks, not wanting to acknowledge her vulnerable situation.
"Daepyonim!" He blurts out once he's sure she won't be mad at him. "I was worried sick, Daepyonim! A bullet wound! Surgery!"
Se-ri can't help but smile weakly at his outburst. "You really should take it easy, Mr. Hong."
"I won't," he says promptly. "I'll be at your beck and call, Daepyonim. We have been cautious, and not much news has slipped out yet. But I beg you. Please don't risk yourself anymore, Daepyonim. I'm not sure how much more I can take it."
Se-ri sighs. "I will try my best, Mr. Hong. Now... Where's my phone?"
"Ah, Mr. Lee gave it to me earlier," he says, and at the mere sound of Jeong-hyeok's name Se-ri perks up. "He was the one who brought you in and called everyone. I don't know what happened, but he was very shocked. I thought he was going to faint at some point. I don't know if you'll keep him as your bodyguard Daepyonim, but..."
"Was he here?" Se-ri asks abruptly.
Mr. Hong continues rummaging through an overnight bag on the couch, one that Se-ri knows belongs to her.
"Yes, he kept vigil in the waiting room, he never left, not even to have a snack, despite us offering to buy something for him," Mr. Hong tells her. Jeong-hyeok didn't leave for North Korea. He's still in Seoul. He's alive, he's still in Seoul. This isn't the end of them just yet. But why isn't he here anymore? That's what Se-ri can't quite comprehend. That's all she wants— to see him one more time, to hold him in her arms and feel his strength and get better and recover under his watchful eyes and his love.
"Where is he now?" The words leave her mouth before she can quite comprehend them. Mr. Hong is too distracted by finding her phone to notice.
"Well, the police wanted to speak to him, you can understand," Mr. Hong tells her as he hands her the phone. "But then your family arrived, and well, you know how your second brother is, Daepyonim. He ordered everyone out, especially when the doctor told us of your condition."
Even the phone feels heavy in her hand today, but Se-ri takes it without further comment. Mr. Hong knows better than to ask.
"Can I do anything for you, Daepyonim?" He asks her. "I'm not sure if you can eat anything just yet... my sister liked seaweed snacks when she was pregnant, I remember that. Do you want me to get it for you, Daepyonim?"
Se-ri shakes her head and takes a deep, difficult breath. "Does everyone know, then?"
Mr. Hong hesitates. "The ones who were in the waiting room, yes. But it's just your family and me and Mr. Lee."
So he knows. He knows there's a baby.
Why isn't he here?
"Your mother should be here soon, Daepyonim," Mr. Hong continues. "She's been keeping you company most of the time, I'm sure she wants to see you soon."
"I don't," Se-ri starts but her voice fails her. "I don't want to see anyone," another deep breath. "Please... don't let anyone come in."
Mr. Hong nods weakly. "Okay, Daepyonim. I'll be just outside the door in case you need anything."
Se-ri nods and waits until the door is closed to relax, albeit just a little. Jeong-hyeok knows, then — so he knows she's pregnant, and apparently, he did not leave the night he was supposed to leave. But he's not here. And she needs him, she needs him to keep her grounded because... she just got shot, it hurts and a baby is growing inside her body and... Se-ri is just about ready to wish she was back asleep, the way her heart is racing at the fact that he is not here with her right now.
She dials one in her speed call and slowly brings the phone to her ear, each ring more tortuous than the previous one. And then...
"Hello?"
His voice.
And as soon as she hears it, the physical proof that he's within her reach, the tears finally fall.
"Really?" Se-ri replies, trying to gather as much strength as she can through this call. "You're my bodyguard. How could you leave without my permission?"
She isn't quite sure what she speaks afterward, besides urging him to come to her. He says he will, and the wait is impossibly long as she lets the hand holding her phone fall back on the mattress, her eyes focused on the ceiling as she tries to breathe calmly and slowly as per the doctor's recommendations.
In truth, it takes him less than five minutes to enter her room.
Se-ri can't quite understand what she feels when he's finally in front of her, his handsome face haunted by her possible loss and the tears that fall down his cheeks as he speaks, as shaken by this as she is. She tries not to cry anymore, to no avail — as soon as he's stepping closer to her bed and his arms so delicately encircle her, the tears fall. She breathes him in, even if it is a little difficult to do so, feeling his scent fill her nostrils and his warmth cover her. He's crying too, she knows, and she can't do anything to comfort him besides being here.
"I love you," he breathes against her ear.
Se-ri's eyes snap open, understanding the moment for what it is. He pulls away, just enough to look into her eyes. His hand wipes a tear from her cheek, ever so softly.
"I was afraid I wouldn't be able to say it," Jeong-hyeok admits.
"Me too," Se-ri says, and he embraces her again.
"I love you so much," he continues. "I cannot live without you."
Then don't, she wants to say. Instead, Se-ri simply snuggles as close as is comfortable for her, feeling her heart calm down now that he's here. She hears voices outside, faint but sure, and for once she doesn't care that people may be looking at her in this vulnerable state, because she's just so relieved she's able to see him one more time, touch him, hear his voice on her ear, inhaling his scent.
"I was afraid you'd have gone," Se-ri says weakly. "That I'd wake up from that terrible dream and you wouldn't be here."
"I couldn't leave," Jeong-hyeok confesses, his voice trembling. "I couldn't do anything, the doctors wouldn't say anything to me, and when they did..."
"My brother ordered everyone out," Se-ri concludes. She thinks back to being chased by Cho Cheol Gang in the parking lot, to handling those punks who attacked Jeong-hyeok, to being shot, even the sleeping pills and the occasional soju. She did all of that while pregnant — she fell pregnant and she hadn't even known. "I didn't know, Jeong-hyeok. I had no idea, I'm so sorry..."
"Se-ri-ah," he interrupts her, his voice filled with something she cannot quite describe. Talking so quickly has made her quite breathless, and he slowly pulls away from her, just a little, enough to adjust her to the bed and making sure she's okay. "Don't apologize. I should be the one apologizing."
"We both took a risk that night," she sniffs, shaking her head ever so softly. "I'm still shocked. But as I thought that you might not be here anymore, I... I was happy that you had left something behind."
She sees the way she gulps and his eyes are filled with tears and she knows — she knows that this is far from ideal, she knows that they both could get in so much trouble for it, but she can't help but think that maybe... maybe this is fate giving them one last gift before an inevitable parting.
Maybe this is what was meant to happen all along.
"I love you," Jeong-hyeok says again, slowly resting his forehead against hers.
Se-ri closes her eyes slowly, exhaustion overcoming her above everything else — both physically and mentally.
"I love you too," she says with some difficulty, and even amid these turbulent times, she feels at peace with him so close to her.
She'll deal with it one day at a time.
If she manages to see his face in her days, then everything will be alright.
—
Jeong-hyeok scrolls down the article as he checks comments — not only do they have to deal with the police and he still has to investigate on his own to discover where Cho Cheol-gang is, someone told news reports that Se-ri is pregnant and the rumor is already spreading like fire. It's a new development, and there's no actual source to it, but it worries him.
It worries him because it's true and it's not the kind of thing that can be kept secret for long.
She's unmarried, has had more celebrity boyfriends than he'd like, and he can't guarantee his permanency in this country. He needs to guarantee her safety first, and that means coming face to face with Cho Cheol-gang again and having no certainty of coming out of it alive.
He glances at her, lying on the hospital bed in front of him, still asleep. A small smile crosses his face, even if he's still worried — she's recovering well, according to the doctors. The baby is healthy too, as they checked with the ultrasound just a couple of days ago, and she's scheduled for another ultrasound in two days, just to make sure everything is going well. More than ever, he wants to stay — to watch her become a mother, to grow old with her, to see the face of his child and be there for her when she gives birth.
She called the baby a gift — Jeong-hyeok calls it a risky move from fate. He wonders if the news has reached his father and if he's already been disowned; he wonders how long will it take for the police and the NIS to realize he's North Korean, and if he'll have to decide before he can properly talk to Se-ri.
He looks at his phone again, seeing the picture taken by the paparazzi this morning. Se-ri looks so happy, even if she's still sick and pale - the smile on her face is enough to make him smile as well. His heart swells with love for her; even now, amid so many uncertainties, she's so strong. She doesn't ask him to stay, even if he knows she wants him to. She accepts their child, accepts his flimsy excuses for when he's not here even though she knows he's still investigating, accepts that he's from the north, and being safe comes with a price.
"Are you gonna print it and keep it with you like with my passport picture and the ultrasound?" Se-ri's voice shakes him from his reverie, and he looks up to see her sleepy eyes staring at him.
"Do you want to take a walk? To go to the bathroom?" He asks instantly. "Do you need me to call the doctor?"
"No, I'm alright," Se-ri replies. "I want to sit up."
He stands, slowly helping her up and adjusting the bed and the pillows behind her. Se-ri yawns, and he softens at the sight, now sure that she's not experiencing any discomfort.
"You're treating me like I'm a baby," she comments, though he can sense the joy in her voice.
"I just want you to be comfortable," Jeong-hyeok pouts, earning a soft chuckle from her. She moves her hand that is lying on her side to offer him her palm and he takes it, his fingers threading between hers. "How long have you know about your passport picture?"
"Since you got shot," she confesses. "Do you still have it?"
"Of course," he smiles.
"I've asked Mr. Hong to print the picture from the article," Se-ri says. "It's our first picture together."
"The articles are talking that you might be pregnant," he reveals.
"Let them," Se-ri says, taking a deep breath. "I've spoken to Mr. Hong about this. It was probably Song-ah or Se-hyeong. This tarnishes my reputation so it means the board won't accept me as CEO in the future," his hold in her hand tightens, unable to pretend he's alright with this. The more he understands her second brother, the more he loathes him. "It's okay. I've decided I don't want Queens anyway."
Jeong-hyeok frowns. "It's your dream."
She shakes her head. "I don't think it truly was. I was recognized by my father which is enough. I'd rather focus on Seri's Choice," she tells him, and her eyes suddenly glint with excitement. "I'm thinking of launching a baby line."
Jeong-hyeok's eyes soften. Trust Se-ri to make the best out of the situation. Still, he's curious — he has no idea what a baby line would consist of. "What... would that entail?"
"We'd have clothes at first, I think. Oh, and a maternity line as well. You can't forget about the mothers," Se-ri adds, "as the babies aren't the target. The target is the mother. If it goes well we could expand it in the future. Like furniture, for example."
"You seem to have it all figured out," Jeong-hyeok says, unable to not admire her.
Se-ri nods. "I've already sent this to my team for further analysis but I think we have a real shot at making it work. Especially, you know, when news comes out properly. The press will go nuts."
She says it so simply as if she's been ready for this ever since finding out they're expecting, but Jeong-hyeok knows it's not like that, even if the South is more modern than the North. Some values don't change so simply, and this goes right up front what Koreans from any part of the peninsula hold dear and close to their hearts as the most sacred tradition: family.
"Stop worrying," Se-ri says, untangling her fingers from his and touching the creased skin between his eyebrows. He purses his lips. "I'm going to distract you, Ri Jeong-hyeok-ah."
Jeong-hyeok crosses his arms, up for the challenge. "Really?"
Se-ri nods proudly. "I think it's a girl."
That does it. "Really? Why?"
She lets out a laugh, resting her head comfortably on the pillow. He notes how her other hand slowly makes its way to her lower abdomen. It's the first time she does this knowingly, he thinks. It makes him happy that she's so open about it— even if he isn't yet. "Just a feeling. I know I said I liked girls, but I never gave it that much thought before, you know. My brain just calls the baby a 'she' all the time. I can't help it."
He smiles, reaching out for her, resting his hand above hers. This is the first time they've done this — the subject has been touched here and there, but his worry over her recovery took up most of their thoughts. They've had a few days to properly digest the news — it still feels surreal, especially when he remembers that ultrasound and that tiny, weird heartbeat in his ears.
"Would you be happy with a girl?" Se-ri asks as his thumb caresses her fingers. "We already know it's just one baby."
"Of course I'm happy," Jeong-hyeok says instantly. "A little girl that looks just like you."
Se-ri closes her eyes and he's sure she's imagining it so vividly. He only has eyes for her — just how simple and ordinary this moment is. How extraordinary it is.
"Mmmm. But maybe she has your dimples," Se-ri hums, opening her eyes suddenly, and he laughs out loud when she pokes his cheek with her free hand. "See? Adorable. You can almost insert a toothpick in them."
"Ya, Yoon Se-ri," he says, trying to sound stern, but only making her laugh louder. "I want the baby to have your strength and your brightness."
The laughter dies in her lips, making way for a gentle smile. "And your focus. We can agree my mind is a little chaotic sometimes."
"Sometimes. But it's brilliant," he teases. Se-ri laughs again. His free hand caresses the side of her eye. "Your eye smile. I hope the baby inherits that."
"It's a nice combo," she decides. "My eyes and your dimples. This baby will be the prettiest in all of Seoul."
"In all of Korea," he adds.
"I want to start thinking about names soon," Se-ri says. "I can't keep calling it 'the baby' much longer. Even if it's only been a few days."
He chuckles, not surprised in the least. When Se-ri wants something done, she won't rest until she gets it. He wonders if their baby will be like that. If they are, well, chances are that he will just do whatever they want whenever they want. His parents would probably admonish him for not being very good at disciplining his child.
This comes with a bitter realization.
"My mother always wanted to have a girl," he shares quietly. "But it wasn't meant to be. She'd be very happy to have a granddaughter."
It's a sudden thought — one that he hasn't let himself think too much on. His parents will never meet his child. He's uncertain if he will, but his parents will likely never meet this baby.
Judging by the sudden watery look in Se-ri's eyes, she's thinking the same thing.
"We should take a picture," he says suddenly, wanting more than anything to make her smile.
Se-ri frowns. "Now? Jeong-hyeok, I look hideous."
"You look beautiful," he caresses her hand. "Let me ask someone to take a picture of us."
"No, let's make it ourselves. I'll teach you," Se-ri says happily, then pats the side of the bed. "Come up here."
He's surprised, to say the least, but does what she says, everything according to her instructions. She wants it taken on her phone, so she hands it to him and tells him what to do. It takes a few tries and several different angles for him to get it right, but it makes her laugh in his poor attempts to take a proper picture and it's enough to make the moment even more precious. By the time they choose one, she's all snuggled against him, head pillowed on his shoulder, arms hugging him close.
She sets it as her phone's background picture and admires it for several minutes as his hand slowly caresses her head, giving her a soothing, mindless massage.
It doesn't take her long to fall asleep, her soft breaths on his neck. Jeong-hyeok watches her longingly, already missing her even if they're not apart. The phone is resting on the blanket, so he takes it and puts it on the nightstand. Before he can comprehend what he's doing, his palm is resting on her lower belly, still flat, and he lets himself think of Se-ri heavily pregnant, looking as beautiful as ever.
Jeong-hyeok lets out a long breath. He imagines it all — a red-faced baby crying, the little one smiling, Se-ri holding the baby close to her chest and singing a lullaby.
Damn, he wants it all. He wants it more than anything.
But he has no idea if he'll be able to do what it takes to have it all.
"Hey, little one. I'm your father," he says very quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. "You shouldn't be too hard on Mama if I'm not around. Okay?"
It feels weird to talk to a baby who can't even listen to him yet, but they're not alone anymore, he realizes, and he wants to be as much a part of this as he can. While he can.
"I love you," he says again. Funny how the words slip more easily after he's said it once. "I love both of you very much."
He continues caressing Se-ri while she's asleep, hoping his touch will keep the content look she has on her face. He relaxes as well, dreams of their little one filling his brain, along with Se-ri's joyful laugh. He wants her to always laugh like she has tonight.
He falls asleep to their recent memories, and stores them in his mind, never to forget.
—
Se-ri doesn't remember the last time her mother hugged her, but she's sure it never felt this good before.
It feels... a little bit like home.
Not completely, but a little bit. She's always liked her mother's scent, the lilac she can feel in her hair when she breathes her in. It hasn't changed in the last decades, she realizes. It gives her a comforting feeling, even if it is bittersweet. It reminds her vaguely of being small enough to be held in her mother's arms — it was always good, but it never lasted long.
This hug lasts. A few minutes, at least. Enough for them to stop crying for each other, and for smiles to be held without care. It's weird, and Se-ri is sure she has never been like this with her mom ever since that day on the beach. So much has changed since then and because of that moment, for both of them.
"How are you?" Her mother asks. "I don't mean from the surgery. Have you been feeling anything?"
Se-ri shakes her head — she shouldn't be surprised by the question. She supposes this is what mothers and daughters talk about in such a situation. She will take it over talking about the company or about what exactly was going on when she got shot.
"I crave fried chicken," Se-ri says jokingly, earning a chuckle from her mother, her eyes still a little teary. "Jeong-hyeok promised me he'd get some once I'm cleared to eat it."
"I knew he was special to you," her mother mentions. "He's different from the others."
"You never met any of my boyfriends," Se-ri frowns.
Her mother shakes her head. "I followed what I could about your life. I know he's different."
Be it literally or figuratively, Se-ri doubts her mother knows the extension of how different Jeong-hyeok is. Everything is still so uncertain — the police have been questioning them both, and Se-ri worries it's only a matter of time before they find out he isn't a Chinese citizen.
More than that, she worries that Jeong-hyeok won't rest until he gets Cho Cheol-gang, and that makes her anxious anytime he's not around the hospital. The boys are out for food, she knows, and she's enjoying the time she's now spending with her mom, but she has no idea where he is.
"I wonder," Se-ri starts. "Perhaps I am too similar to her, even if you raised me. The situation is different, but I feel like... I'm still a woman expecting a child in an uncertain situation."
She's never known much about her birth mother — nothing besides the fact that her father brought her to Seoul when she was about two weeks old and the woman in front of her took her in while her heart was breaking for her husband. It wasn't easy for anyone, Se-ri knows, and she was never curious about a woman who wasn't part of her life, only now she almost understands a said woman.
Did her birth mother love her father as much as her mother did?
Did she feel fear, for herself and her child? Did she think she'd never see the baby's father again?
"Even then," her mother starts, slowly, gathering her thoughts, "however hard it was... you were loved. You are loved. And I can assure you that this baby will be too. Your father and I will support you no matter what."
Se-ri smiles, her hand reaching for her mother's. They spend some time talking — not about her brothers and their wives, or even about her father, but about themselves, what they hope to do together, her mother mentions visiting her newest shop and following her achievements more than anyone else Se-ri can think of; they make plans to shop together and her mother talks about the recent renovations in the family house. For once, it's easy and simple, and Se-ri is content to listen to her mother's voice and breathe in and out slowly, recovering as best as she can, the tone in her mother's voice a gentle comforting sound that lulls her mind to a peaceful place.
It's a while later that a knock resounds in the room and Jeong-hyeok enters quietly, eyes darting a little nervously between her and her mother. It appears that his worries are gone when he sees the soft smiles on both women's faces, and he bows politely at her mother.
"Mr. Lee. It's good to see you again," her mother says, and Se-ri immediately frowns at the sentence. Her mother notices. "We met yesterday and talked about you."
"Why didn't I know that?" Se-ri asks, looking pointedly at Jeong-hyeok.
He has the grace to look disconcerted. "I wanted to let you two talk first."
Se-ri accepts that and smiles. "Is it time for the ultrasound already?"
Jeong-hyeok glances at her mother before answering her. "In twenty minutes, yes."
"You were always very punctual, Mr. Lee," Se-ri jokes, earning a chuckle from her mother.
"Well, I'll leave you alone now," her mother says. "I'll be back tomorrow."
Se-ri nods. "Until tomorrow, Mother."
Unlike their previous meetings, her mother offers her a forehead kiss and smiles at her before leaving. Se-ri notes Jeong-hyeok is blushing to the tips of his ears as her mother leaves, and as soon as the door clicks shut she can't help but tease him about it.
"You do know my mother knows how babies are conceived, right?" She asks him lightly as he sits down on the edge of the bed, fingers reaching for hers immediately.
"So?" He brings her hand to his lips, planting a soft kiss on her knuckles.
"So she knows you're the father," Se-ri continues. "So she knows we..."
"Let's not talk about this, please," Jeong-hyeok says. "The South is very different regarding these things."
Se-ri pouts slightly. "Not so different. But my mother is happy if I'm happy."
It's such a simple, weird thing to say — one she has a certainty of now. This much she knows. Not many can say the same regarding this situation. There's a lot to consider — the position of Queens amid all this, the light Se-hyeong might go to take her out of his way — but not enough that she wants to think about it right now.
Jeong-hyeok smiles softly, happy that she's happy too.
It might be a fleeting moment of happiness, Se-ri knows, but she'll enjoy it as much as she can.
She can't take it for granted these days.
—
Se-ri has hours of recording to listen to, but she's tired — most of the recordings are truly nothing, just bits and pieces of conversations between her parents, her brothers, and their wives, sometimes a doctor or nurse butting in. The boys are out, probably on yet another excursion to get some food or explore the surroundings, and she hasn't seen Jeong-hyeok since he left her earlier this morning.
She knows he's up to something that he's not telling her. Normally, she would nag him about it, make him tell her what was truly going on, but now...
It's not that she doesn't have the physical strength to do it; she does. It's just that... perhaps... deep inside her, she's afraid of the answer. She knows something is coming — it's impossible not to. She knows he's still investigating and he can't exactly go straight to NIS and tell them everything he knows. Which means he intends to get Cho Cheol-gang by himself. This means this puts him in a very serious situation.
Se-ri isn't ready to face that.
She's still recovering and she has no idea what to expect from him — she can't ask him to stay, knowing the consequences this might have on his parents, but she can't let him go so easily, not when he gives her so much life. Not when he's a beacon of light in her life.
For once, Se-ri's choice is not making a choice. She can't decide for him, nor does she want to. But she hurts for what this is doing to him, the way it's tearing him apart. She can see it. She doesn't want him to hurt. More than anything, she wants him to be happy — she just wonders if that is possible for either of them if they are separated.
The door to her room slides open, and Se-ri turns to see who it is — and it's the man who occupies her thoughts, with a soft smile on his face and a box of fried chicken in his hand.
This makes Se-ri's mood lighten up instantly.
"You got me chicken!" She says brightly, foregoing any greetings and leaving her spot in front of the window, walking slowly towards the sitting area.
"Should you be up on your own?" Jeong-hyeok says, leaving the box on the coffee table and going to her. "Do you need any help?"
Se-ri rolls her eyes. "I'm not an invalid. Can I eat this?"
Her eyes look up at him with so much hope that he smiles. "Yes, I cleared it with your doctor."
"Ahhh, I've been waiting for this moment for days," Se-ri says, happily sitting down on the couch.
Jeong-hyeok hovers over her, clearly worried she's overdoing it, but she pays him no mind and soon he sits down beside her, opening the box. He takes a piece of chicken and hands it to her first, and Se-ri hums in appreciation at how crunchy it is. She's been sick and tired of having soft food and yogurt all day long; it's amazing how much she's missed actual food, for someone who didn't even care much about it before.
He opens a bottle of juice for her that Se-ri wishes it was beer, before remembering she won't be able to have a beer for the next year, most likely. She accepts the bottle and watches as Jeong-hyeok starts eating as well, happy to have this mundane moment with him.
"Did you leave only to get me some lunch?" she asks teasingly, but the truth is that she's been more curious than usual about his whereabouts.
"I wanted to speak to your doctor," he confesses. "Just to know how your condition is. Now that they've seen me they're willing to talk to me. After that, I went to get some food."
"Mmm, so I passed?" she asks. She's still got stitches and an ugly scar, but she feels stronger every day.
Jeong-hyeok beams her a soft smile. "With flying colors."
"As per everything I do," Se-ri says, moving her head around happily. Jeong-hyeok chuckles. "Hmmm, this is so good."
They eat mainly in silence, just enjoying each other's company. Jeong-hyeok hands her the juice before she can even ask for it, and while it is a little annoying it's endearing too, the way he's always hyper-aware of her needs and what she wants. She doesn't eat as much as she wants, as she's very much aware she needs to take it easy after not even properly for so many days, and she leans against the couch with caution and relaxes. Jeong-hyeok is still eating, sipping his juice quietly, and she admires his profile from her spot next to him.
He is very much her type.
"Will you stay here this afternoon?" Se-ri asks, trying to sound indifferent but detecting a tone of hope in her voice.
"I have to meet someone," Jeong-hyeok tells her, eyes softening as he finishes his food and cleans his hands with a napkin. "I'll be back tonight. Do you have any plans for today?"
Se-ri sighs. "I have the rest of the recordings to listen to. The boys tell me I should listen until the very end. I think my mother is coming later in the afternoon too."
"Good," he smiles, reaching for her hand. He's been so much more open to touches lately, maybe because they know they can't hide this forever anymore. Se-ri sighs contently. "I thought of a name."
Her eyebrows shoot up in surprise. This is certainly unexpected. She's decided to wait until they know the gender before actively looking up baby names, and she certainly didn't expect Jeong-hyeok to be very interested in it, at least not so soon.
"Really? Which name? Tell me."
He chuckles at her eagerness, but she can tell he's a little nervous to share this with her.
"You don't have to say you like it just because it's my first suggestion," he mumbles. "Names are a very personal matter, I've read. Parents fight over this."
"We won't fight. Tell me."
"I'm not sure how popular it is," he continues. "Maybe you'll hate it."
"Ri Jeong-hyeok-ah," Se-ri says sternly. "Out with it."
"Seo-yeon," he says in one breath before he can change his mind. Se-ri stops, pursing her lips as she takes it in. It's not bad, and she likes the way it sounds from his lips. But it's a little popular, she thinks, and she wants her baby to know how special they are right from the choice of their name. But Jeong-hyeok continues. "It means felicitous omen. I just thought it fit."
Oh.
She sees the nervousness behind his eyes and thinks he's just too adorable for his good. She wonders when he actually searched this, imagining him going through lists of names and their meanings, and she can just see the pout on his lips and the crease between his eyebrows as he concentrates. It just means so much to her that he truly remembered what she said about names and even went ahead to look it up before she had the chance to.
Felicitous omen. Se-ri likes it. A lot.
"I like the sound of that one," she reveals and nearly laughs at the way his shoulders relax.
"Really?" Jeong-hyeok says, his eyes twinkling softly.
Se-ri nods. "Yes. It's very pretty. It would go well with your family name," she adds, but then catches herself. They haven't talked about this. "It goes well with mine too."
His fingers tighten around hers.
"It sounds better as Ri Seo-yeon," he says.
Se-ri nods promptly, blinking a few times to stop the tears from falling. They can't truly talk about this when there's still so much uncertainty around their situation. He's leaving again soon, she doesn't know what for, but every time he comes back relief floods her body as they have one more moment. One more touch, one more kiss. She doesn't know how long it'll last. So she does her best to continue the topic.
"What if it's a boy?" She says, looking up and meeting his eyes.
"I didn't go as far as that," Jeong-hyeok confesses, looking down at their joined hands. She follows his gaze, admiring the way their rings look together. "I think... I have a feeling it's a girl too."
Se-ri chuckles. "We might be wrong. We should choose a boy's name as well."
"I'll think of one, then," he tells her.
"Yes. And tell me soon," she asks. "I feel bad having a girl name chosen and nothing for a boy. I don't want the baby to feel neglected when we would be happy with who they are no matter what."
"Alright," Jeong-hyeok nods. "I'll try to look up and find a suitable name soon."
Se-ri nods, and they stare at each other. She's trying to memorize as much as she can of this moment and continues to do so when he helps her up a few minutes later so they can brush their teeth. It's a funny sight, Se-ri thinks — she looks impossibly small in her hospital pajamas standing next to him in his black turtleneck and dress pants. When they're done, he surprises her by cupping her cheeks, right there in the middle of the bathroom, and giving her a few quick kisses. She smiles against his lips, enjoying the privacy of this moment.
He walks her back to the bed slowly, asking a few times how she wants her pillows, and Se-ri sighs impatiently before tugging at his collar so she can kiss him one more time. It's short and simple, but enough to steal his breath away.
"I'll be back tonight," he tells her softly, his thumb caressing her cheek softly.
Se-ri nods. "I'll see you tonight."
Jeong-hyeok gives her a soft smile and walks to the door; she accompanies him with her eyes and is looking forward to tonight already. She figures soon the boys will be back so she should go on with listening to the recordings, but she still looks over as Jeong-hyeok closes the door, and then she sees his side profile one last time.
There's a determined look on his face, different from the gentle eyes from a minute ago when she kissed him.
Tonight suddenly seems too far away.