I woke up with tears on my cheeks. She had been dead this whole fucking time and I knew it; I'd always known on some level. Hank noticed my stirring and immediately approached. I held up my hand for him to stay put.
"You can't cross the line; I need you to go to my truck and grab my knife from the glove box."
My voice was monotonous and dry, and he looked like he wanted to ask what I saw. Instead, he turned round and traipsed through the thick snow to do as I asked. As soon as his broad back disappeared into the treeline, I bolted off in the opposite direction. The tears and sobs started bubbling to the surface.
This was the forest of my childhood and nothing could change that; I could feel every tree, knew every footpath, every gnarled root that would catch your foot if you didn't know where to look. I'd learned its every secret through scraped palms and grazed knees. Ambling around as a little kid with nothing better to do – same as Abby.
Abby, who had been lying in a ditch for the last six years I'd spend building a new life with our money. I'd waited for hours by the truck, in the cold. I was half frozen before it struck me to check my phone. I'd spent all this time thinking she didn't want me. honestly believing that her not wanting me was the worst thing I could experience.
Years of undealt with grief hit me like a ton of bricks as I skidded down through the powdery snow, not knowing where I could go. Some things were better of left alone. The cold stab of the cold was a welcome distraction. Finding out like this was worse than keeping my memories, now it was like she died all over again.
Curling up into a ball and squeezing my arms around my chest, I did my best to breathe. In through the nose and out through the mouth. No matter how hard I tried to concentrate on the simple mechanisms of respiration, anxiety began to fray the edges of my mind until my steady breathing turned to ragged gasps of air – then full-blown hyperventilation. There was no running from the images inside my mind and at some point, I gave up. Instead, I just sobbed hysterically as I cycled through the same thoughts, I couldn't get past.
Abby was dead.
I would never see her again.
I was scorching hot, snow started falling.
She didn't want to leave me.
I was still hyperventilating as dark patches spotted their way across my vision.
Abby was dead.
I would never see her again.
She didn't want to leave me.
The darkness battled with the sharp despair that kept me conscious. I couldn't breathe.
Abby was dead.
I would never see her again.
She didn't want to leave me. she never would have left me, and I never should have left her.
Eventually – thanks to a lack of oxygen – the darkness won. At some point everything went blank, unfeeling.
I woke up cold, disoriented and covered in a thin layer of snow. It was hard remembering where I was or how I got there. I couldn't feel my fingers at all, I sat up trying to flex them. They moved slowly as the blood-flow in them restored a fraction. I had just enough mobility to get up and start staggering forward. Getting my bearings was second nature as I zeroed in on the direction of the highway, it was quite a hike, but the piercing cold felt nice.
My rubber limbs moved slowly; it was with great effort to lift one foot in front of another. I kept up the monotonous pace for as long as I needed to. A parting in the trees was the first signifier that I was close. The damp pavement looked pitch black under the patchy snow. I sifted my way through the waist-high drifts that framed either side, stepping out onto the deserted road. Heading in the direction of town, I continued my hike. Every so often I would flex my fingers to make sure they still worked, pinched my nose to make sure it was still there. I like to think I made a lot of progress before a pair of familiar headlights graced the horizon, but at the rate I was moving I'd be surprised if I made it more than a-hundred metres. I considered ducking back into the treeline but from the way my truck picked up speed and started barrelling its way towards me I'd definitely been spotted.
The driver – unused to my trucks 'quirks' – skidded the from side to side before twisting and screeching to a halt. An angry Hank clambered out, heat practically sizzling off his dark skin.
"What the hell is wrong with you? I've been worried sick!"
I stared at the truck like a frozen zombie. He was at my side in a flash draping a jacket over my shoulders, raising a warm hand to my cheek.
"Geez, your skin is like ice."
Steady hands guided me to the truck as I was lifted into a seat.
"You should have warned me whatever spell you performed would do this to you." He said climbing into the driver's seat. Only inside did I start shivering, my teeth chattered, my fingers and toes begun to burn. Besides sparing a few concerned glances in my direction, Hank left me to my thoughts. I used the time to stare out the window.
He started again as I was mounting the hotel steps "What happened out there Atlanta?"
"I don't want to talk about it." it wouldn't change anything.
"But-"
"Enough!" I cut him off and stormed ahead, ducking past the elevator and instead headed to the staircase. I was on the top floor but at least I could control how fast I was moving. After practically sprinting up the stairs the burning sensation had migrated from just my fingers to across the entirety of my skin. I was shaking and sweating, each gasp of oxygen scorched my lungs.
Walking up to the door this time round I could tell something was wrong before I entered.
"Hey, what's wro- shit."
He saw the splintered lock on the door and came to the same conclusion I did. I couldn't sense anyone in there but then again, I didn't sense Arwen coming either. I slowly nudged the door open with my foot.
The entire room had been torn apart. My clothes had been ripped from their bag and strewn about the floor, the mattress had been sliced open every piece of furniture seemed to have been emptied and overturned. Splinters and shards of wood were scattered across the torn rug, large gouges ran along the walls, pointing to some kind of struggle. The room seemed to be vacant, but it had definitely been visited by vampires recently. One thing was abundantly clear, Christian had been a part of that struggle – the trace of his presence was just as fresh as the others – and he was no longer here now.
"What the hell?"
I simply said "Vampires. They're gone now." And left it at that.
It seemed enough for him as he nodded and advanced into the room, sparing a cursory peek into the closet and bathroom to confirm my predictions. I took his distraction as an opportunity to back out, not feeling like talking. The cold that had burrowed its way into my soul and provided a great distraction from reality had all but thawed leaving me with nothing. I wandered through the small maze of opulent hallways.
Small towns weren't good places to try and hide and hotels where you knew the owner were even worse. Ms rivers bowled into me as she stormed through the halls in, glued to some kind of phone clipped on her ear. Her cheeks flamed as she brimmed with annoyance before she recognised who she was practically sat on.
"Atlanta," she drew out the final 'ah' of my name "How are you?" her voice took on a sickly sweetness that was starting to creep me out. I elected to change the subject – too tired to lie.
"I might have caused some trouble, and someone trashed the room – don't worry I'll pay for the damages – but it's pretty bad."
Her expression didn't waver.
"I'm sure its fine you don't have to pay for anything."
"You haven't seen the damage yet; besides, I would feel more comfortable paying."
The mindless conversation didn't feel half as painful as it usually was.
"Well, if you insist," she paused readying herself to bring up a new topic "So, my daughter told me the two of you had fun the other night."
No amount of numbness was sufficient to have that conversation.
"Well look at the time, I have to get going." I glanced down at my wrist, which didn't have a watch on it.
Striding past her, I ignored her protests I jogged ahead and pushed on a fire door, deciding to reunite with the cold. The weather seemed to be taking a break from snowing, so I hopped on the back of my truck and laid down. The wind huffed and tumbled boisterously in front of my eyes. Letting my mind go blank of thoughts and sobbing was starting to become a bad habit. I let my eyes drift close as I sailed into despair.
"This is twice you've run away from me now; I'm going to start developing a complex."
I sighed and opened my eyes. The truck dipped under his weight as he climbed up next to me.
"I personally don't care about our kidnapped vampire, but I'm worried that you don't seem to either."
If he clocked my puffy eyes and nose, or my tear-stained cheeks, he didn't comment.
"Come on, what happened to finding Abby."
That was the wrong thing to say, I felt my eyes grow hot as my breathing picked up.
"Abby's gone."
"What do you- " I glared at him, not wanting to answer the coming question.
He paused and stared.
"What?" I snapped.
"I get that whatever you saw when you cast that spell, did something to you – or you're going through something. But someday you won't be – and the Atlanta I know came here to help people and would regret letting that opportunity pass her by."
Part of me knew he was right, but another part of me felt like it had died with Abby. And I didn't know which part was stronger. I was a mix of clashing emotions; the ones that had motivated me to come here in the first place – that told me I should feel concerned about Christian – and there were the ones that whispered how easy it would be to give up. The latter didn't appear with pointed teeth and beady eyes that told me I should be afraid, instead there was a soft caress that weighted me down the further I fell.
"It's going to be hard."
"When isn't it?" he chimed back. I felt my hand reaching for his, it was so warm. It felt good having someone with me for what came next. We watched the sunrise for what felt like forever. Finally, I sat up stretching my icy limbs, he mirrored my movements.
"We're going to need two shovels."
No verbal response was required as we prepared ourselves, the hardware store was still closed when we drove by, so we sat and waited for it to open. For now, there was no more easy conversation with Hank; just charged silence. We got our gear, Hank even splurged on a snow shovel.
A lot of changes in six years.
Even covered under ten inches of snow the changes were apparent in Bishop's field. It was framed by a light pine fence hung with various wreaths and signs and scraps of paper. Upon closer inspection they were photos, and messages, there were cards and fresh flowers that suggested people still visited often. In sharp contrast to what it used to be; everyone had avoided the mundane field like it was cursed. It used to represent a rot that had sunk its claws into the town and kept claiming bodies.
It helped a little to see it as it was now, peaceful. There was still an inevitable sadness that clung to the air, but it was mixed with acceptance, it had become a space for grieving. Which made what I was planning to do feel a hundred time worse.
I hopped over a segment of fence that was relatively clear of flowers and turned back to Hank. He had an armful of shovels and a concerned expression.
"Please tell me we're not digging up some kind of memorial."
"I wouldn't want to lie to you."
He looked torn.
"I came here for the Eurosec, the last person to have it was Argenta, who happens to be in this field."
If there was any other option, I would've taken it. I would do my best to find it on the first try; Argenta was a pretty old and powerful being, her bones shouldn't have been too hard to locate. I waded through the snow feeling for any sort of power. Soon I stopped feeling a tug directly beneath me. unfortunately, it was still accompanied by Abby's presence which caused a painful stab in my chest.
I marked out where the grave and Hank started clearing the snow, it didn't take long to clear and soon I was standing over the frozen earth. I took a gulp of air, holding the metal handle in my trembling palm. I looked up to see Hank staring at me.
"I can do this on my own you know." he said, trying to help.
"You don't have to." having something to occupy myself with doing, no matter how grim, was better than being left alone with my thoughts. I plunged my shovel into the tough ground. The cold seeped into the dirt at all making it tough to shift; I would've felt bad leaving all that work to Hank.
I was sweating so much I had to take my jacket as I hacked away at the dirt. Working together, we made steady progress and before long we were stood in a knee-high trench. In even less time the first pale bone peeked out of the dark earth. My necklace was in close enough proximity with its twin that I could sense it. I held my hand out indicating for Hank to stop digging, he eyed the bone with a sombre expression. I traced my red, blistered palm across the icy ground, searching for any pull from the Eurosec. I felt a tug and sunk my fingers into the cold earth, rooting around. My hand was scalded by the icy temperatures, but I kept pressing down until I hit something smooth. I clawed out more mud until the bone that must have been her arm came into view. following along it, the pull grew stronger. At one side there were small chips of that were once her fingers. Wound in between them binding them together was the small silver chain. I picked it up and the seemingly complete Eurosec – or that's what I'd made it look like – only one half hummed with the power I'd come to expect.
Hank approached from behind glancing over my shoulder.
"What will it do?" his breath fogged up the air by my cheek. The fake half snapped off with a little application of power.
"It should," I aligned the two true pieces in front of my face "Give me the power to take down the clan." I pushed the pieces together and felt resistance, like pushing magnets of the same pole close to one another. A small light appeared as they came into each other's vicinity. The closer I pushed them, the more they repelled and the brighter the light they emitted got. I managed to force them closer until I felt tingles spreading across my palms and travelled up my forearm. The flicker of light grew blindingly bright as the pieces finally connected and my arms felt like they'd been shocked – every muscle from my fingers to my shoulders contracted painfully. The light faded but left dark spots swimming across my vision. I was finally able to move my arms and tucked the newly formed Eurosec beneath my shirt.
"Damn," as far as magical displays it wasn't super impressive, but Hank didn't have much experience in that area, so I gave him a pass.
"We have to get moving soon, Christians gonna be in trouble when the sun goes down."
"We can't make it back by then."
"I think there's a way."