Chapter 23: Broken (Oliver's POV)
Liv let me into Leigh's apartment and her scent hits me like a ton of bricks. I have pushed her away and now I'm weak in the knees just from her lingering smell. I will never be able to look at honeysuckles the same way again. The smell alone has my cock rock hard and my head pounding even more than it already was. I collapse on her sectional finding quickly that it is a recliner and leaning back.
Quicker than I expected Leigh is here. Her scent intensifies as she quietly stands nearby. I try to explain to her why I'm here but I just make a stupid statement about her scent relaxing me. It does but it also drives me crazy in both good and bad ways.
"You smell like sage and rainwater." She quietly answers. Fuck her voice is enough to make me give my left arm just to hear it again. I have been such a jackass. She is nervous just talking to me. Afraid that I will disappear.
I ask about somewhere to go rest. My head still hurts too much from the damn bright ass sun. I'm not ready to have "the talk" with her just yet. She offers me our room. I can't do that. To lay in her bed to be surrounded by her scent like that. It may just kill me. I definitely can't share a bed with her. I can barely control myself from here. I keep up a passive façade but I am desperately trying to control myself from pinning her to the wall. I haven't even looked at her yet and all I want to do fuck her and hold her.
"I'll just stay here," I tell her and instantly regret it. I cover my face with my hat to try to block out how pissed I am at myself. I am such an asshole. She quickly offers me another room. There is so much sadness in her voice. I look up to see she is looking down. She looks even better than I remember.
I slowly get out of the chair with the initial intent to just go to bed but I can't. I need to be closer to her if only for a moment. At this moment my thoughts are far from lustful. I gently cup her face feeling sparks race up my arm. I tilt her head so she is looking at me. Those green eyes pierce straight into my soul.
My apology is weak but I give her something we both need more than words. I pull her close to me and wrap her in my arms. After a moment she responds wrapping me in her arms. My entire body is humming from the contact. I was wrong to keep away from her these last few weeks. She feels so much like mine. Why can't I get my head straight? The more I try to think about it the more my head hurts. I quickly kiss the top of her head and pull away leaving to go lay down. Being with her makes me feel alive but it also makes my head scream in pain. I need to take the medication they gave me for my head.
I make it into my room and slump on the bed kicking off my shoes. I lay back with my arms behind my head. Leigh is possibly the hottest girl I have ever seen in my life. Her hair is so black it's almost blue like the night sky. Those eyes are enough to make me plea for her to just look at me. Her lips are perfectly heart-shaped and plump. I can only imagine how they would feel pressed against mine. How they would feel wrapped around me. I don't know if they have been. I would love to be able to remember that.
Her body is a work of art. Liv told me that she works out almost constantly, but she has some serious curves. She looks like a girl who likes to eat. Which is good. I like to eat too. I'd love to eat her. I bet she tastes like heavenly honeysuckles.
Her ass is so plump, leading to thick powerfully looking thighs, her waist is small and fit. Don't even get me started on her tits. I could happily die with my face planted in between them. I love that they are pierced too. Just the thought of them has my cock at attention.
She has some nice artwork too. I did notice a few tattoos on her that first day. I don't have any but I want to get a few. I take the meds they gave me and pass out while thinking about Leigh. It's hard to think about her but I push through the pain.
As I normally do, I dream about Dakota. It feels so fake. Like she is telling me a story. Not like I'm really a part of it. More like I'm an actor in a play. None of it is genuine. I hate this. I want to dream of Leigh.
I groan as I rollover. At least my head is feeling better. I take a quick shower. A dress in just some gym shorts. I don't really know what to do with myself. I am hungry though. Maybe Leigh would like to go get some food. We should probably talk.
I need to talk to her. I don't want her to think I don't care. I care. I have read over our texts so many times. I have never told a girl that I loved her before. I never even told a girl that I liked her, I just fucked around a lot. But I told Leigh that I was falling in love with her. I wouldn't say that if it weren't true. I don't play around with shit like that.
I walk around the apartment until I find her out on the balcony. It looks like a small patio with some seating and a grill. Leigh looks busy making her dinner. I guess she's not going to want to go get food.
I step out onto the balcony. Fuck it's cold. My nipples could cut glass right now. Why did I come outside without a shirt? I'm about to turn back around and get more clothes on when Leigh speaks.
"Hey, your up. I was just going to come to ask how you like your steak." Fuck she not only cooks but she's cooking for me too. I need to wife this woman up now. A slight pain runs across my head.
She has turned to face me as I tell her I was thinking about food and medium-rare would be great for my steak. I love steak it's my favorite meal, even more, when it's done on the grill cooked by the hottest girl in the world. I can think about her body all day and my head doesn't hurt. It's when I try to think about the deeper things that my head hurts.
I no longer regret freezing my nips off for not wearing a shirt, when she takes in the sight of my nearly bare body. The cold is replaced with a flush of heat from her stare. She looks ready to eat me instead of the steak causing my brightest smile to light my face. The panty-dropper smile. Her panties aren't dropping but from the smell of her, they are wet. My favorite friend stirs in want.
She turns away to close up the grill. Turning back to me she clears her throat to pull my attention up from her chest. Even in an oversized shirt, you can make out every dip and curve. "I was hoping we could eat and talk a little." She sounds nervous. Goddess, I really am a dick.
I was of the same thought so I tell her that sounds good and leave under the pretense of needing clothes. In reality, I need to take care of the situation that developed in my pants before I have her bent over the balcony screaming my name. I force my feet in the direction of my room before I do something out of line. I don't think she would mind me taking her but she deserves more. She deserves a whole mate, not a broken one.
I find my clothes quickly and undress. Still hard as fuck. The scent of her arousal will not leave my head. I try to make quick work of this. Imagining her lips wrapped around me. I'm nearly there when she comes to tell me dinner is done.
She sounds worried and I pray, even ask, that she doesn't come in. How can I explain this? Would she join in and take over? She had said my name while talking to me through the door and I can only imagine her screaming it as I make her cum. She was right, her saying Oliver does make my cock throb for her. I finish by thinking about my face buried in between her legs and her screaming "Oliver," as she comes for me. I'm sure she tastes just as good as she smells.
I dress as quickly as I can and apologize for my lateness. She has already plated my dinner for me and I can't help but be touched by her care for me. She expresses her worry for me again and I feel both guilty and loved.
We make small talk throughout dinner nothing heavy. It reminds me of a first date. I'm nervous. I can't help it. When I'm done I take our dishes and rinse them off. She follows behind me with the other dishes from the table and gets to loading the dishwasher. This is so comfortable. Like we could do this for the rest of our lives. Just us being happy together. If this damn headache would go away and if Lucky would come back so I can mark her as mine. Fuck, that hurt to think about. But it's what I want more than anything.
I need to sit, so I return to my seat from earlier on the sectional. She calls after me and I tell her where I'm at. I pat the seat next to me when she enters the room. "You wanted to talk."
She quickly takes the spot next to me pulling her knees up as a barrier as she faces me. "Yeah, we haven't really done that. I didn't know if you had any questions. I know you and Liv have talked but..." She sounds as nervous as I feel. "Never mind it's stupid. You would have asked if you wanted..."
I have lots of questions and tell her so. I'm fucking up with her again. I need to do this right. I place an encouraging hand on her knee somehow feeling the sparks even through her pants.
"Things were up and down between us. It wasn't all you though. I fucked up too." This is news to me. I thought I was the only asshole here. I'm even more intrigued by this conversation now.
"So how did we meet? Let's start there." I want to know how I got this lucky. And it's always best to start at the beginning. I grab her hand. I'm addicted to the feeling of her and this is the safest thing I can do.
"Officially we meet on the first day of school. I kinda ran into you and we ended up in a rather compromising position."
Compromising position. I'm already imagining what that could have been giving her a lust-filled smile as I tell her I'm sure I enjoyed that.
"Yeah. At least enough, that you spent the whole rest of the day trying to find out my name. You called me Baby Girl until Jace let it slip." She blushes. She's actually in my phone as Baby Girl. I'm sure I have called her it a lot and it seems like she has missed that. I make a dumb joke back lost in my joy over her blush.
"Actually no. The only thing you know is my middle name. You thought my name was Leigh Silver. That's my middle name and my mom's maiden last name." She looks down seemly guilty. Like she just confessed to cheating on me.
"So Baby Girl, can I get that real name now." I give her a small smile hoping to calm her.
I get a smile back in return. Her heart rate has picked up, I was correct in guessing that she has missed her pet name. "You told me that first day you wanted to know my name because you wanted to know your future mate's name. So my real name is Haven Leigh Wolfe."
I really do hope that I said that to her. My mate's real name. Fuck. That hurt. I have to close my eyes. Why can't I just enjoy this moment? I pull her hand to my mouth and place a soft kiss on the back. I can't express how I truly feel about all this but I want her to know that it's not lost on me. "Haven, your name is just as beautiful as you, Baby Girl."
Her whole face lights up at this. She moves forward some but stops herself. "I was going to tell you the day that I told you who I really was, but that day ended badly."
Now we come around to the biggest mistake of my life. At least that is what Liv tells me. "I've heard that but Liv would never go into detail. She wasn't the one I really hurt that day, so she figured I should talk to you or Jace about it. Jace hasn't spoken one word to me since I woke up. So I must have really fucked up."
"The day you left we had a wonderful night and morning together. We had sat in the recliner together in the game room. We had talked about the fact that we used to play Call Of Duty together until Jace pretended to be me and told you I was a dude."
"That was you?" I ask surprised. I have so many conflicting feelings about this. If she is Jadelove713 then I have had feelings for her longer than I originally thought.
I don't get to reflect on this for long because she is already moving on. "Yep. I was going to confess everything to you then, but I didn't get a chance to. We had been so back and forth because you didn't think you were good enough to be mated to an Alpha female but you were all I wanted. All I have ever wanted. I've kinda been stalking you since we were like ten, you just didn't know I was in hiding here."
I pull my hand back causing her to flinch. Crap. "You were here the whole time?"
"Please don't be mad. It was to keep me safe. Uncle Jamie has had to kill and quiet a lot of people over the years to make sure no one knew who I was. I have a shitty lonely life. I've been homeschooled and trained. I never got to have friends. My wolf is crazy because I have technically been Queen since the age of two. Being that powerful from the door didn't help and she almost killed Jace when she made her first appearance, so I have kept her tied down since I first shifted early at the age of thirteen. You have been my first everything and I can't have you walk away from me again because I told you the truth." She rambles and crawls into my lap like I'm going to run again. I stiffen in surprise but quickly recover wrapping her in my arms. I have wanted this for so long just to hold her. The pain in my head is there but it's dull. I can live with it if it means I can feel close to her. I can hear soft sobs coming from her, as she buries herself in my neck.
The realization hits me and I feel like shit. "And that's what I did the first time. I walked away when you told me you were Queen. Isn't it? I couldn't handle not being enough to be your mate and I ran." I pause and rub her back. Trying to comfort her for the crap I have put her through. "What else did I do? Liv said I didn't just fuck up with you. She said I put everyone in danger." I nuzzle my face into her neck. I need her scent to calm me. I think I just broke my own heart for what I did to this sweet beautiful girl.
"When you left you said some very hurtful things. You said it was all a lie. That you never loved me. That it was all just a joke. A joke that Jace orchestrated. That you were only trying to get in my pants. You claimed that you already knew that Dakota was destined to be your mate. Then you ran." Yep worse mistake of my entire life. Liv was right. I destroyed her with every insecurity she has. And then I woke up claiming Dakota as my mate. What is wrong with me.
"You are right that was all a lie. I'm still very confused about all of this but I know that I loved you. At least I was falling in love with you. Who wouldn't." Our lips are only a few inches apart. My entire body aches to close that space between us. I want to be able to tell her how I feel even now but whatever causes my headaches won't let me. I unwillingly break my graze from her and find a point, any point in the distance to focus on, that isn't those blazing eyes of hers.
"So what happened with Jace," I ask trying to redirect our conversation to a safer one.
"Jade happened." She continues to tell me about what she, well her wolf, did to Jace. Well fuck. I'm surprised he hasn't come and kicked my ass yet. And Jade. Jade is crazy, but also really hot, dominant, and intimidating. A stark contrast to my sweet Haven. Baby Girl is both heaven and hell rolled into one. I like it. I get both the devil and the angel. "So I was not mistaken when I called her a bat shit crazy bitch."
"You're just lucky she didn't rip your balls off when you called us a dumb cunt." She chuckles back. That is the sweetest sound I have ever heard. I could live off of that sound. Still a little scared of her wolf, but I think that her wolf cares just as much as Haven does. If rolls were reversed, Lucky would have gone just as crazy that day.
We stay wrapped up in each other until I start to notice her falling asleep on my chest. I shift so I can get up and carry her to her room. It could be our room. I shake my head. I'm not ready for that. She holds tight to me until I have her set on her bed. She rolls away from me leaving space for me to crawl in behind her. It is tempting but I just leave a soft kiss on her temple before returning to my room after wishing her a good night.
I lay down and have this achingly empty feeling in my chest. Her scent is not in this room. I already miss the feel of her in my arms. I should have stayed with her. I know that's what she wanted. The next few hours are spent regretting my choice to return to the guest room. I don't even want to think of it as my room. I can't sleep. Even after taking my meds.
At around three in the morning, I give up and stand outside her door. I just can't bring myself to knock or even walk in. I'm a coward. I opt to sit on the floor leaning against her door. Her scent is faint but more than what it is in the guest room. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know my head is bouncing off the floor after the door is opens behind me.
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***(Leigh's POV)***
Four am alarms suck when you haven't slept. Time to go train. I slip on a pair of spandex shorts and a tank top. I have just pulled my hair into a messy bun when I open my door and yelp in surprise. Oliver's body spills out onto my feet.
"Fuck" he mutters as his head bounces off the floor. "I think I just cracked my skull again." He looks up at me with a small smile. "Nice no bra."
"What are you doing here Oliver?" I ask as I reach down for him, helping him to his feet.
"I couldn't sleep." He says rubbing the back of his head. "I didn't wake you up, did I?"
"No, I didn't even know you were here. I was just going to go train. I couldn't sleep either." I tell him reaching up to check his head. He closes his eyes and leans into my touch. I want to wrap my arms around him so bad my heart hurts. Everything is fuzzy and I try to blink back my tears from longing and want. A tear must have slipped out as he reaches to wipe the stray tear from my cheek. His hand lingers as he continues to rub my cheek.
He takes a deep breath before stepping back cramming his hands into his shorts pockets. "I'll leave you to it then." He says turning to leave.
"How'd you end up outside my door?" I ask not wanting him to leave.
"I'm not sure." He pushes a stray hair out of my face. "I just needed to be closer to you. I'm sorry." He says shaking his head trying to move away again.
I grab his wrist causing sparks to flair under my fingers. "Did you manage to get any sleep?"
"Not much, but more than I had gotten in my room." He says with a shrug.
I tighten my grip on his wrist while pulling him into our room behind me. Leading him to our bed. I crawl in, leaving space for him to follow behind me. An unsure look crosses his face before he takes his place beside me. I roll on my side away from him.
He starts off on his back but after just a few minutes he rolls to lay the same way I am. I can feel the heat from his body roll off of him. So close yet still so far away. That is until I feel his unsure hand rest on my hip. He settles into the bed, slowly resting closer and closer to me. As if we are magnets destined to be together. The sparks erupting between us, as he presses his front into my back, causing my whole body to feel as if it's on fire.
His hand slowly snakes up under my shirt slipping his hand over my stomach stopping only when he reaches his happy place. His arm curls around my right breast I can feel his excitement pressed against me. Causing my breath to hitch. He really is a boob man, I think smiling to myself. He leaves a small kiss on my shoulder over where I should hold his mark, before burying his face in my neck.
"Something about this feels so right. Can you sleep like this?" He asks in a husky deep voice.
"I don't know." He starts to pull away and I snuggle closer into him. "But this is exactly how we have always slept. Please stay." I beg afraid he will pull away from me at any moment.
"I'm not going anywhere Baby Girl. Please try to sleep. We could both use the rest." He presses a quick kiss to my temple before nestling back into the crook of my neck. Laying in my mate's arms is both exciting and relaxing at the same time. I have dreamt of this moment since he woke up. I eventually slip into a happy sleep after hearing his quiet snores in my ear.