26

                                    

                                          
The tattered shirt hopefully would be repurposed and I wouldn't have to feel as bad as I did. Thankfully it was just one of the Mountain shirts I swiped, but it was still of good quality. 
                          
This was one of the thoughts I had as I attempted sleep. The other was the male who was sat in a chair, waiting for me to fall asleep. I could feel his eyes on the back off my head, keeping me awake as I struggled to chase after the darkness. 
                          
"You know, they say when you've got something on your mind, you need to get it out before your body can shut down and go to sleep." His words held a smirk that wasn't appreciated. And I went to snap back at him but stopped as images flashed through my mind. 
                          
The Trikru bloodbath. Pike. Bellamy. Indra. The gate. Bellamy. Clarke. Lincoln. Bellamy. The Mountain. The Summit. Lexa. Bellamy. 
                          
I flipped around and gave him a look. A look of concern with a hint of curiosity. 
                          
"Did you love her?" His eyes filled with recognition as he sighed. 
                          
"No, but I did know her." He paused, his hand rose to run through his hair. "Gina was a flashlight in a darkly lit room, she, she was too bright for the darkness." His voice was soft as he remembered. "Too bright for this earth." I pushed away the emotions that surged due to his confession, and focused on empathy. 
                          
"She was lovely. Kind to everyone and helpful." I spoke as I turned to lay on my back. "Do you think you could have?" I was so hung up on this one question but I was curious. I've never experienced love other than my will to die for my family. So how does it even work? 
                          
He was silent for a awhile. My head once again turning to face him as I saw the cloud of tears in his eyes that he was trying to push back. 
                          
"Hey, you don't have to answer. Forge-" He cut me off. 
                          
"No," his voice a whisper before he cleared his throat, the strength returning to his voice, "it's why I knew I'd hurt her in one way or another. And she knew that too." 
                          
"Did you at least get to say goodbye?" This brought another wave of tears and I couldn't help it. I jumped out of the bed and limped over to him, grabbing his hand as I knelt down beside the chair. The stretching of my back was ignored as I focused on comforting Bellamy. I squeezed his hand as we allowed the room to swallow us into silence. His hand squeezed back as I sat on the floor next to him. 
                          
He may not have loved her, but he did care for her.  
                          
A feeling I sensed my heart was envious of. 
                          
"Why is your leg wrapped." His voice was husky as he forcibly regained control of his body. 
                          
I stared straight ahead, debating internally whether I be as honest with him as he was with me. 
                          
"If I tell you, I'd end up next to Lincoln. Or worse the three hundred warriors outside this gate." 
                          
And that's when the mood shifted. I let go of his hand as I stood, his ownself standing to match me. Our eyes locked on each other as he tried to read me. 
                          
"You know?" His voice was gruff as his eyes darted back and forth between my own. 
                          
"I was there." I answered not giving him any clues with my eyes. "And you shot me." I put a finger in his chest to show emphasis on who shot me. My finger falling as his face turned cold, my own turning colder. 
                          
"I shot you? You nearly shot us!" His voice rose as he moved his arm for dramatic effect. 
                          
"So you did know it was me in the tree?" His face went from angry to shocked. I had caught him. "Well, Bellamy? You saved Indra, you shot me, and you helped kill three hundred people. I know you just want to protect us. I do too, but we need to be together in this." His shoulders relaxed and I could see he was thinking on what I had said. After two minutes of silence he finally spoke. 
                          
"Together." His arm stretched out for me to grab. 
                          
"Together." Please let this be a turning point in this war we had just begun. 
                          
It was around midnight when I finally told him to just go back to his room so he could sleep on his own bed. I was too wide awake and I could see he wanted to go to sleep. But I wouldn't make that mistake again, I didn't have enough pillows. 
                          
So when I shooed him out the door, from my bed as he wouldn't let me get up nor did I want to, I finally spoke up. The door slightly open as he paused and remained facing the door. 
                          
"How did you know it was me in the tree?" I finally asked, my voice filled the air as I watched him from my bed. His body slowly turning around as he went to answer. 
                          
"Who else would have shot a flaming arrow from the shadows?" I grinned as he smirked, he did have a point. 
                          
"You got me there." He chuckled, before asking me his burning question. 
                          
"How'd you know I was the one who shot you?" I looked him straight in the eye as I answered his question. Not hesitating even for a second like he had. The words just simply rolled off my tongue, because they were true. 
                          
Not only did Bellamy have the best shot I know with the gun, but he's the only one in that group that would have shot me and given me the ability to tell the tale. 
                          
"Because you shot to wound, not kill."