Chapter 10: Initiation Begins

                                    

                                          
I'm running down a long dark hallway. Faster and faster and faster until I'm running at an inhumane speed but still it isn't fast enough. 
"Divergent!" An animalistic voice yells after me. 
"Help someone help me!" I scream my voice breaking as I sob. Large, hot tears pour down my face and hit the floor. Echoing around the room as they do which only helps the monster find me. 
"Divergent!" It yells again. 
"Please!" I scream but it is no use nobody is going to come to save me. Nobody will take the time to save a dangerous person. 
"Divergent!" It yelled again. 
But the voice had changed it was no longer animalistic, it sounded like Caleb. 
"Caleb is that you?" 
"Divergent!" The monster yelled again but this time it is my father. 
"Daddy!" 
I turned my head to see if I was getting away from the monster but I couldn't see it. 
As I turned around I was slammed into a brick wall. I was at a dead end. I am trapped and the monster is going to get me. 
Suddenly it appeared but it wasn't like I expected. It wasn't a snarling beast with red eyes and long claws. It was my mother. 
And she wasn't twisted up in some God awful monstrous way, she is her normal smiling self. She is the mother I love. 
"Mom." I smile with relief, maybe the monster is gone. 
She didn't say anything she just stayed silent as she slowly walked toward me. But with each step, I began to grow more uneasy. 
"Mom is everything alright?" I asked my voice trembling with fear. 
"Deadly." She said with a stern voice. 
"What?" 
"Poisonous." 
"Mom what are you doing?" I asked. 
I slowly backed up against the wall wishing for it to swallow me up. 
"Abomination." 
"Mom please stop." I begged tears running down my cheeks. 
"Divergent," She hissed," You are a danger to this city!" 
"Stop please." I begged. 
I sat down on the ground curling into a ball, sobbing. 
"You are a disappointment, you are not my daughter. My daughter is not an abomination!" She screamed at me. 
"Stop!" 
"Beatrice!" 
"Stop!" 
"Beatrice!" Susan yells as she shakes my shoulders.  
Screaming I shoot up banging my head against Susan's. 
"Ow!" She howls in pain. 
"Sorry." I pant, my heart feels like it is going to jump out of my chest. 
I look over at Robert who is standing behind Susan looking down at me with concerned eyes. 
"It's okay." Susan smiles, even though she is in pain she refuses to stop smiling. 
"How are you?" Robert asks me as he sits down beside Susan. 
"I'm fine it was just a nightmare." I shrug. 
I am hoping none of them will ask anything more about it. 
"Okay." Robert sighs. I can see he wants to ask more but thankfully it appears he isn't going to. 
"We should start getting ready we don't want to be late on our first day." Susan said. 
"Yeah, you two can use the bathroom first while I go make us something to eat." Robert said. 
"Thanks, Robert." Susan smiles at him. 
"You can shower first." I said. 
"No, you had a rough morning you need a warm shower." 
As selfless as I want to be right now a warm shower sounds like heaven. 
"Thanks." I smile then bolt into the bathroom. 
I lock the bathroom door and quickly hop into the shower. I sigh with relief as the warm water beats against my body. All my tense muscles relax as the water runs down me wrapping me in a blanket of warmth. 
I lean my head back against the wall my mind swirling with the memories of the dream. My family may have been the monster to me in that dream but I was just as much of a monster to them here in real life. The only difference is that they don't know it yet. 
But what if they do find out? 
Is that how they will see me if they find out? Will I be a danger and poison and an abomination? Will they no longer see me as their daughter and sister? Will I be their monster? 
After I finish washing I quickly throw on my clothes and rush out of the bathroom so that Susan can wash up. 
As I walk down the stairs I can smell scrambled eggs. 
"Great." I sarcastically mumble under my breath. 
"Here you go." Robert smiles as he hands me a bowl of eggs. 
"Thanks." I give a small smile then sit by the table and start chowing on the eggs. 
God, I hate scrambled eggs! 
Why can't I try pancakes instead? What is so selfish about a stack of pancakes caked with syrup or cinnamon and sugar or chocolate spread? 
"Are they alright?" Robert asks me. 
"Yeah, they are great." I smile.  
"Great, I was worried because scrambled eggs are more Susan's speciality than mine. I prefer oatmeal." He chuckles.   
"Then why didn't you make oatmeal?"
It's as bland as these eggs but it somehow tastes better.  
"Because scrambled eggs are your favourite and you had a tough night so I thought you needed them right now." 
"I never told you they were my favourite." 
His eyes widen for a second like he said something he shouldn't have. 
"Susan told me." He blurts out then without saying another word he rushes up the stairs. 
Well, Susan doesn't know me as well as I thought she did.  
***
The walk to the meeting hall is a silent one. Well, it was only silent on my end, Robert and Susan were hammering away about initiation and how excited they are and all that other positive stuff.  
My thoughts are muddled with flashes of my dream and the fact that my initiation begins today. 
I'm not nervous about initiation I mean Abenagtion along with Amity initiation have the easiest ones there are everyone passes. I'm just not as excited about today as everyone else appears to be. 
I have ruined my life. 
The hall is packed with all the initiates and the many Abnegation members who will be chaperoning today. 
I look over at the nurse and doctor section searching for my mother. As always she is standing beside Evelyn and Mrs. Black. 
I smile and wave at her and when she waves back I start feeling more excited about today. 
The hall falls into silence as Marcus steps up onto the stage and taps on the microphone.  
"Good morning and welcome to the first day of initiation."