Forty-Two

                                    

                                          
It was late and they were all gone. Long days of practice, rehearsal, and planning were all they knew for the last two weeks and would continue until the tour officially kicked off. Meanwhile I sat in my room, where I spent more days than not, looking up flights back home. As I was searching all the flights started reading cancelled. Assuming something was wrong with the site I refreshed and even restarted my laptop but every airline site I visited had canceled all flights out of South Korea. 
                          
The world stopped. 
                          
A few days later an announcement to postpone the tour went out. Now, I wasn't the only person sad and sulking about a situation I had no control over.
                          
"I'm really sorry guys, I know how much you were looking forward to the tour and seeing army" I chewed my bottom lip hugging a pillow
                          
"Not like it's your fault" Namjoon spoke coldly. I know he was upset about everything happening with work so I didn't take personal offense to his attitude.
                          
I excused myself to the kitchen to see Hoseok munching on some chips "Hey honey"
                          
"Hey Hobi, what are you up to?" I asked hopping up on the counter swinging my legs
                          
"Nothing much, just grabbing a snack," he held up his bag of chips "What's up with you?"
                          
"I had an appointment scheduled for today but it was canceled so nothing at all" he positioned himself between my legs and fed me a chip
                          
"You can always talk to me" I gave him a weak smile and cupped his face
                          
"Thank you babe but I'm fine for now, you've already got a lot going on and I don't want to weigh you down more" his smile became a frown as he sighed deeply "What?"
                          
"You..." he just shook his head and stood up straight "Nothing. Forget it" he started to back away but I locked my legs around him forcing him closer to me
                          
"That's not how we communicate, tell me what's wrong?" Hobi's face became puzzled
                          
"Isn't it? You seem to talk to everyone else just fine but when it comes to me you shut down. You never open up to me and I don't understand why. I feel excluded"
                          
"Hobi, I'm sorry I didn't realize you felt like this... I don't mean to make you feel like an outsider. Sometimes it's just easier to talk to others because they've expressed feeling depressed and hopeless before. When I see you I feel like maybe it's not all bad and I feel less sad, you really are my sunshine and my hope. Being around you always cheers me up, literally just being in your presence warms my heart"
                          
He thought for a moment about what to say before speaking "Baby just because I choose to be happy doesn't mean I don't ever feel sad or down on myself. I may not be able to relate like Yoongi or the others but that doesn't mean I can't understand or empathize. You can always talk to me too and if I really make you feel like you say I do then you should want to talk to me so I can make you feel better" he flicked my forehead 
                          
"Ow" I rubbed the spot and he kissed it 
                          
"I love you and I'm here for you too," his heart smile was back
                          
"I know and I love you too. I promise I'll be more open with you going forward now give me a kiss"
                          
"That not how you ask for things" he smirked, I balled his shirt in my fist
                          
"I wasn't asking" his lips parted and my tongue went in wrestling his as he wrapped his arms around my waist "Bedroom" I breathed heavily breaking away for a second as he swiped me off the counter and kissed me
                          
He carried me past everyone in the common room to his room and kicked the door closed. Hobi dropped me on his bed and immediately began stripping  himself of his clothing. I mirrored his actions and took my own clothes off. He sat next to me and thumbed over my cheek, I pressed him down and climbed on top feeling his length poke my inner thigh. He reached into his nightstand for a condom but there weren't anymore
                          
"We don't have to honey, I didn't realize I was out until now" he said sadly, I appreciated his consideration but there was no way I was leaving my Hope like this
                          
"It's okay Hobi, we can still do it. You don't have to pull out"
                          
"Are you sure? I can wait" 
                          
"Actually no, you can't" I chuckled feeling his stiff dick still pressing into my thigh "I'm positive baby, relax"
                          
"Thank God" he groaned and I reached down and aligned him with my entrance, raising my body just a little bit to slide down on him. He moaned out in relief and closed his eyes "Damn I missed feeling you like this"
                          
"Fuck" I moaned "Me too daddy" 
                          
"Fuck me real good babydoll" I started to move. His hands fondled my chest and I pressed on his abdomen, moving my hips back and forth feeling him sliding between my walls. I didn't move very fast but I rode him hard, I wanted to feel everything
                          
"Oh god Hobi...mmmm shit" I threw my head back relishing the moment. One of his hands gripped my waist helping to guide me on his dick. My pussy was already clenching around him, trying to swallow him. I leaned forward resting my forehead on his
                          
"You feel amazing baby, aaahhh shit" he whispered against my lips, pulling on my bottom lip with his teeth he started to thrusts up into me making my body jerk "I'm gonna cum inside you honey"
                          
I nodded favorably "please fill me up, put all your cum inside me daddy, please" I begged with sloppy kisses before sitting upright again. I planted my feet on the mattress, Hobi grabbed both my hands in his interlocking out fingers and I started to bounce on his throbbing cock "Ooohhhh fuck I-I'm c-close" the feeling of Hoseok's long and veiny member pushing deep inside made my legs weak "Baby..."
                          
He got my signal and released my hands then flipped us over, now he was ramming into me making me scream out in pain and pleasure. I clawed at his shoulder with one hand while the other dug into his side. His thrust got faster and harder, my toes curled as I locked my legs behind him. His face rested in the crook of my neck as he bit down on my skin while lashing his tongue over my sensitive spot "Fuck" he growled as came. My walls squeezed around his dick, draining him of his seed. After a second I relaxed into the sheets and he still hovered over me slowly pulling out then falling beside me.
                          
We started at each other as we caught our breaths. A gentle smile took over Hobi's lips and a few tears fell from the corners of my eyes "Hey, hey what's wrong? Was I too rough?"
                          
"No" I sniffled. I sat up and wrapped the sheet around my naked body, his room was cooler now that I was calm and still "I was going to leave" I revealed with silent tears 
                          
"What do you mean?"
                          
"I mean I was going to leave Korea and go back home. I was going to wait until the next long day for you at work and leave without saying goodbye. I was feeling so guilty, everything you guys went through, especially Namjoon and Jungkook, was all my fault. I'm not worth all the trouble and I almost ruined everything you've all worked so hard for. My biggest fear came to be so I figured the best thing was for me to detach from you all and let you go" he looked at me with so much hurt I started to feel guilty again. I hated that I had only brought them heartache lately
                          
Hoseok sat up and covered his lower body with the blanket. "I can't imagine going through what you have, Ami, I can't but I know it changed you and I hate that you don't have your joy anymore. Someone did something terrible to you and you're sitting here feeling guilty for having people that love so much that without hesitation they came to your aid because it was the right thing to do. You're regretting knowing us and falling in love because you were wronged. I hate that you're carrying around these feelings and thoughts...God I really wish you could see yourself the way I see you"
                          
"What you see and what I am are two different things Hoseok" I sniffled staring at the bedding and wiping my eyes only for new tears to stain my cheeks
                          
"And what are you?" He asked with furrowed eyebrows
                          
My watery red and puffy eyes met him as I exhaled a shaky breath "Broken"