Chapter 16

                                    

                                          
⚠️Talks of abuse ⚠️

                          
Thea Hayden 
                          
I got back to my dorm and went straight to my room and I know I'm gonna sound selfish but  I don't even want to to see my siblings right now, I know we planned this whole day out but it just hurts too much... 
                          
He called me Theadora...
                          
The one person I never thought would call me that, called me that. He yelled at me for walking away and called me Theadora... 
                          
I'm laying on my bed staring at the ceiling with it looking blurry as fuck because I can't stop fucking crying! I wanna fucking scream , I want to punch someone , I want to rip his fucking balls off and throw them back to England. 
                          
He sounded just fucking like him... just like my dad.
                          
I shouldn't effect me this much, it was my name at one time. I am not Theadora Hayden anymore, she was a weak little shit that got beat around by her dad and cried when she did something slightly wrong. She did everything wrong, I am Thea not her. I am a strong woman that doesn't get pushed around by men. 
                          
See I'm saying those things in my head but in reality I'm a blubbering mess. I'm laying down on my bed now curled up in my sheets thinking about how he would feel curled up against me. We aren't even together , we're nothing. He took care of me when I needed it that was it common courtesy, nothing more.
                          
Thankfully no one came into my room and I have no clue if my siblings are here or not, there probably sleeping on the living room. I calmed myself down around 3o'clock and fell asleep.
                          
I woke up to the sounds of whispers outside my door, I checked the clock and it was only 9. I heard Louis outside , why the fuck is Louis outside my door? "He came back to our dorm an hour ago, he was so fucking drunk and high I can't even comprehend how he walked to his room. I heard him mumbling ' I'm a fucking asshole, who deserves to die. I didn't mean to say it, I didn't mean to say it.' What the fuck did I miss."
                          
"I don't know , I was asleep with Ni- um and I heard her come in but Logan and Elle were here I assumed they got into a fight about Roslyns bills or something. They left an hour ago because they are picking up their puppy today . They said that she needed to be alone right now." Sloan lowly says 
                          
I get up and open my door where everyone looks at me like I'm a fucking zombie, granted their not far off. My lips are chapped my hair up in the worst bun you can think of and I have streaks of mascara running down my face. 
                          
"So Sloan, you fucking Niall now?" I state
                          
She looks at me shocked but I'm proven right when I see him walk out of her room and I laugh, "If he's anything like Harry, I'd kick him to the curb now before you get hurt."
                          
Sloan looks over at Niall who looks confused as fuck then waves everyone off and grabs a water from the mini fridge and goes back to bed. "Yeah, we've been hanging." she says while looking down at her feet. 
                          
"Well at least two thirds of the dorm is happy, Sloan and Niall and Juliet and Amy  because I don't deserve to be happy right." I walk through them to go stand in the middle of the common room. I turn around and look and them and start crying again as I start ," I just want someone to be there for me and know how hard I try everyday, not someone who calls me Theadora drunk and high and acts like he means nothing to me as much as I mean nothing to him!" Niall walks out of Sloans room stunned that I'm raising my voice. 
                          
" And you want to know something that's even better ! We never even had sex! " I exclaim and start hysterical laughing while they all look at me like I'm fucking insane, which I am.
                          
"Thea, please-" Juliet tries to intervene
                          
"Please , what ? Calm down? Act rationally ? I'm 18 years old ! I want to live my life and go to parties and fuck a random dudes, not get stuck on the one dude I meet and have him on my mind constantly , he's always in the back of head even when I don't notice it! I see a pack of cigarettes, boom Harry. I look in a mirror and see my green eyes, boom Harry!  " I yell then fall to my knees and whisper , "Why did he have to call me Theadora?"
                          
"Because he's an ass." Someone from behind me says and I turn around to see Harry. He sits down on his knees and takes a hold of my face and lock eyes with me and says, "Thea? Princess? I am so sorry that I said those things to you, I don't know where they came from. I would never in a million fucking years say that to you sober with a clear mind." He says while he starts to sniffle tears start to brim his eyes.
                          
"But that's the thing... he was never sober and he always called me that. He would come home get a drink from the fridge a yell Theadora, I would come in with Elle in my arms and he looked at me like I was nothing. That was the same look you gave me last night and it tour me to pieces Harry."
                          
"Baby, I-" 
                          
"Please let me finish." I say and he nods and lets out a heavy sigh 
                          
" He would tell me to put Elle down in her crib , it didn't matter if she was screaming bloody murder or peacefully asleep. He would then ask me to put Logan the play room so he could have his toys.... He then would say , 'Theadora , you are the worst excuse of a daughter.' , that part numbed over as the years went on. But it's what he did after that always made me hate my name. He would chase me around the house yelling Theadora over and o-over , he would always get to me and start h-hitting me until I begged him to stop. My tolerance grew over the years and it went o-on longer, it started when my mom died. She died a week after Elle was born, she had  some sort of s-servere heart condition. We all got tested for it and none of us have it, my mom was the sweetest woman alive . S-scarlet Hay-yden.... I was five when she died and my dad left us on the steps of the library when I was ten. I didn't say It out loud, what had happened to me until I was 13.  Teachers would call me Thead-dora instead of Thea all the time even though I asked them to call me Thea. Every time anyone said it I would hear his v-voice and I would flinch when they said it again to get my attention. That's why I legally changed it to Thea at 15, I saved up as much as I could and my aunt helped me a little with the money. I was done being frightened of my n-name and then you said it." I took a breathe from my speech to recompose my self and start again.
                          
"You said it and I was that scared little kid again, you said ' Don't you fucking walk away from me Th-headora.' and I thought I would never hear that again or be that scared again." I finally finish and I look into his eyes and he was silently crying. 
                          
"Princess , I am so s-sorry." he says 
                          
I can feel everyones stares on us right now, this is like a fucking soap opera, I don't blame them. 
                          
"What can I do to make you forgive me?" his hands tremble a little on my face and he wipes away my tears as I do his and his hands settle down. 
                          
"Never , ever fucking call me Theadora again."
                          
"Never."
                          
He wipes away the rest of my tears then his and we stand up and look at everyone in the room , they looked like they all shit their pants and Juliet and Sloan are crying. 
                          
They both walked up to me and gave me the tightest fucking hug ever, "We are so sorry." Juliet chokes on her sob "Why are you sorry , we didn't meet till we we're 12."
                          
"No one should go through that." Sloan says 
                          
"But it's my story and I can't change it, no matter how much I fucking want too."
                          
They let go of me and Harry wraps his hand around mine and says "Then let's make the rest of out stories worth while."
                          
Louis and Niall come stand near us and Louis says, "Oi, you love are going to have one banging birthday this year. Good thing you met H here otherwise you wouldn't have me, the halloween party maverick . I still can't believe your birthday is halloween." he grabs my shoulders and shakes them a bit and Harry glares at him. 
                          
"And I would have never talk to Sloan out of class if not for you. And pause , your birthday is halloween . Bitch, we are going to get so fucked up!" Niall says while throwing his head back