19 - "Hero"

                                    

                                          
BANG 
                          
I kicked open the door, holding my gun in one hand and a flashlight in the other. I slowly panned from one side of the dark room to the other, but saw no one. "Clear in sector three." I ventured further into the room, ducking under desks and peeking behind cabinets looking for people. "Anyone need any help? There's nothing over here."
                          
"Nothing here either." Natasha said.
                          
"Buck and I found nothing." Steve announced.
                          
"Spidey and me are all clear." Iron Man declared.
                          
"Falcon? Anything?" I asked.
                          
"Nope. All is quiet." He answered.
                          
"Am I the only one that thinks this is suspicious?" I asked.
                          
"Definitely not. Where should we meet up?" I heard Steve say, but something caught my eye. 
                          
"Hold on, I see something." When I looked closer, it was a bright slip of paper caught under a vent. Setting my gun to the side, I popped the top of it off and saw dozens of slips of paper, all of them the same obnoxious neon green. Gingerly picking one up, I read it. 
                          
Kamala Vanhanen
                          
The blood drained from my face. I grabbed another.
                          
Patricia Tierney
                          
"Y/N? What is it?" Some one said, but I wasn't listening. 
                          
Agent Verdienen
                          
Sonje De Vito
                          
"Y/N? Come in, Y/N." My mouth was so dry I couldn't speak.
                          
Alberta Rome
                          
Marni Royceston
                          
"Everyone converge to Y/N's location." Natasha said.
                          
I kept pulling papers from the vent.
                          
Eduarda Fabien

                          
Janka Baak 

                          
Shiv Schrijnemakers

                          
Þórhildr Seeger

                          
Agent Gestorben
                          
"Y/N?" I heard Spider-Man say. 
                          
I turned my head, and imagined what they must be looking at. A girl with eyes wide, face paler than the moon, surrounded by scraps of paper. "These papers . . . they all say the names of my targets." I didn't know why I was so bothered by this. I had no problem killing them in the first place. Why was it a problem now?
                          
"Guys, incoming-" Sam started to, but our comms jammed. 
                          
"It's an ambush!"  I realized, picking up my gun from where I placed it before.  The ceiling opened up and hundreds of colorful balloons fell, all with my name written on them. I took a knife from my belt and yelled, "pop them, but don't fire a gun! You might hit someone!" The room was filled with popping noises, making it impossible to hear anything. I saw a shadow flash in the doorway. "Get down!" I tried to shout, but I could barely hear myself. I dropped to the ground, just as I heard gunfire above me. 
                          
It was complete chaos. Balloons were exploding and gun shots sounded. It was so loud, I had to resist the temptation to cover my ears. I was about to try to find the assailants when a bright flash exploded, and I was hit by a wave of heat and shrapnel. My ears were ringing painfully and I couldn't hear anything, but I felt a tremor through the floor as something, or someone, hit the floor hard, sending shivers down my spine as an uneasy feeling settled in my stomach. 
                          
End this, Y/N. I crawled over to the door, and when I saw Hydra issued boots, I slashed at them and pulled them to the ground. I kicked their guns out of their hands and managed to stop one of them from taking a cyanide pill by ripping out the fake tooth. That agent grabbed my arms and pulled me away from the other agent who chewed on his tooth and died within seconds. I hit the live one over the head, hard, before he could hurt me or himself. Breathing hard, I called, "Is everyone okay?" I could barely hear myself. Looking around, I saw shreds of colorful rubber scattered all over the floor, and two figures bent over a third on the ground. I stood and hurried across the room, dropping down to my knees as I saw my best friend on the ground, surrounded by a crimson pool. His metal arm was torn to shreds, lying uselessly next to his too-pale body.
                          
As my hearing slowly returned, I heard him struggling to breathe.
                          
🌀💮🌀

                          
I was covered in cuts and burns, any my shoulder in particular was giving me grief, but I ignored it all as I paced back and forth awaiting news from the medical team. Bucky's been in surgery for two hours. Oh, this is all my fault. I was the target. They wanted me dead, because they knew I would fail. They must've gotten a signal from the device, and it stopped transposing, they assumed I'd failed. And they have moles working for them, probably more than a few in prison transport, so they'd know if I was arrested. The device probably had a mic on it, too, so they heard everything from when I summoned it to the moment Bucky smashed it. Oh, Bucky. This is all my fault. I crashed onto a couch, holding my head in my hands. He could die. Because of me. I put him in the line of fire. I might as well have killed him myself. How could I have been so stupid, getting distracted and freezing up like that?
                          
"Y/N? How are you doing?" Natasha asked gently.
                          
"Not good, Nat. Not good." I stifled a sob.
                          
"Hey, it's okay. He's going to be fine." She sat next to me, taking my hands in hers.
                          
"He wouldn't need to be fine if I hadn't taken this mission." I said, defeated. When Natasha stiffened, I realized what I said. Sighing, I came clean, taking my hands back and folding them in front of me. "The reason I was at that office so many months ago was because I was given the mission to infiltrate the Avengers. To gain your trust, and then 'bring you to your knees'." I said, using air quotes. "I couldn't go through with it because like a fool I began to trust you guys. And then I discovered some pretty damning recordings on Tony's computer, and I decided I would go through with it." I took a deep breath and continued, "When I tried to plant a bug, Bucky caught me, and I told him everything, and yet he destroyed it and never told anyone." I hung my head in shame. After telling her all of that, surely she'd hate me now.
                          
"Y/N. Look at me." Natasha grabbed my hands again, and pulled them gently so I was facing her. "When Clint offered me a job at S.H.I.E.L.D., I really struggled. It was difficult trying to be the good guy when I felt..." She tried to find the right words.
                          
"Unworthy." I finished for her.
                          
Nodding, she continued, "but what helped me was surrounding myself with good people. When you first came here, and even after, we thought it would be best to leave you alone, let you sort your mind out first. So that's our fault. And like it or not, you are still a child. Yes, you are different, yes, you are deadly and at times even scary," she smiled. "But you are still a child. So was I. I remember how terrifying it was,  and you've been doing this your whole life. All you know is missions. And I, nor anyone else, will hold that against you."
                          
"Thank you, Natasha." I cried, hugging her close. We stayed like that for a long time, just holding each other. 
                          
🌀💮🌀