Chapter 13

                                    

                                          
Annie's POV
                          
Cold water rushes between my fingers. I slowly dip my other hand in. It's relaxing. Takes your mind off things to see which finger gets the most amount of water flowing through it. I've already taken a dip, lay afloat on the river, cried myself out and dry off by the boulder on the bank. I've already replayed the conversation we had, the boredom of staying rigid while being sketched and the look in his intense eyes, all in my mind.
                          
I tried to pretend that everything was normal, that the birds were still singing cheerfully instead of death lullabies. Every inhale is a stab of guilt. It feels like I'm robbing him of air that he could be breathing. He needs it more than me. But I wouldn't know that. God knows, he could be on his way home, taking a U turn, deciding this joke isn't funny anymore. It never was.
                          
I wiped my hands on the dry part of my jeans, gathered my things and turned back. I f I could. I'd choose to never leave but it's getting dark out and suddenly this place is reminding me of the things I've always associated with darkness, death.
                          
When I finally trudged up my doorway, I looked at the house behind me. Windows closed, curtains drawn. It seems to radiate negativity. Maybe I should go apologize. Part of me is itching to, I guess I'm taking the devil's side today.
                          
"Where have you been, Annie? And your clothes!" My mother stares at me wide eyed. "Around." I reply, avoiding her gaz. I dashed up the stairs and slammed the door shut. Not satisfied, I pushed my books off the bookshelf, pulled all my clothes out the wardrobe and kicked a chair over. I looked around and decided that if the one thing I treaured most is leaving, so should the others.
                          
"To hell with this!" I screamed, tearing my The Hunger Games posters off the wall and into pieces. "To hell with you!" I stomped on the paper roses I kept from my days with Nate. "To hell with everything!" By the time I was done, I looked like I've been robbed. My room is completely thrashed, nothing pretty escaped.
                          
Then I remembered like sketch I kept in the narrow slot between my wardrobe and the wall. I take it hesitantly. Josh has sketched me into an angel with real wings and a halo. It seems so childish but I love it. Josh depicted me as an angel. I wonder why. And I also wonder why I had kissed him on the cheek last night.
                          
The sun greeted my eyes the next morning. I find myself lying face down in a wreck of paper, glass and dried tears. Turning over, something stabbed me in the back. A pendant. Not just a pendant. The 'Now Til' Forever' pendant Josh gave me for my birthday. I held it between my fingers then kissed it. I've got a lot of explaining to do this morning. But first things first, I need to see him.