Chapter 20: Grace

                                    

                                          
The wind was whipping my hair all around my face. I told myself if I could just go faster, just a bit more faster, I would finally be free. I gave a kick and leaned further up to gain more speed. The horse's breaths went ragged underneath me. 
                          
A voice called out to me from behind. It was faint at first, growing louder and louder until it ceased briefly before appearing as a whisper in my ear. It halted me in my tracks. That freeing feeling I was searching for surrounded me as the voice echoed throughout my heart. 
                          
"Don't dim yourself Grace. You are a star." 
                          
I slowly opened my eyes, rubbing them until my room came into view, leaving my dream in a time I had yet to make sense of. 
                          
It had been two long weeks since the plane landed back in Chicago, taking me back down out of the clouds and headfirst into reality.
                          
It was almost as if my time in Wyoming had never happened, as if I didn't become lost just to end up finding a piece of myself again. As if my soul hadn't felt the impact of the shift that happened beneath the dirt in those Rocky Mountains.
                          
Or the shift that happened between the cracks in my heart. 
                          
Instead, things went back to its' normal routine--me back in the kitchen preparing five star meals, and Mark constantly in the office.
                          
That night, we were celebrating Mark's promotion. The proposal he worked on was successful and with it, Frank was able to convince his partners to move him up. I was proud of him, but he was already busier than normal, and I knew things would not slow down. 
                          
Throwing the covers off me, I headed to the bathroom to shower and get dressed. It was Saturday, and I had the day off from the restaurant. My plan was to visit a few special friends whom I had been missing dearly before having to get ready for Mark's party. I picked out a nice blush colored blouse and paired it with some light denim skinny jeans and then braided my hair to the side, forgoing any makeup other than some mascara and concealer. I grabbed my keys and headed out the door toward my car for the short, fifteen minute drive. 
                          
***
The double doors opened automatically upon my arrival, and I stepped inside the cold, sterile building. Michelle, one of my favorite nurses, immediately spotted me and enveloped me in a hug. 
                          
"Grace, it's so good to see you! The kids are going to be so excited that you are here! Especially Izzy."
                          
"Thank you Michelle. I cannot wait to see them. I have missed them so much. How is Izzy doing?" 
                          
"She's been responding well to her new treatment, so that's good. But she's been rambling non-stop about how you're going to bring her a surprise from your trip, so I sure hope you have it, otherwise, prepare to never hear the end of it." She shook her head grinning. 
                          
Isabel was quite possibly my favorite patient. She was a rambunctious seven year old with the type of soul most can only dream of matching. She was the most positive, bravest, and happiest little girl I knew. She was diagnosed with Lymphoma when she was six. The doctors say they caught it early enough to feel hopeful in her recovery. Every time she was in the hospital for her treatments, I made sure to try to be there as well. 
                          
"Now you know I could never forget anything that little girl asks of me. We all know whose finger I am wrapped around." I winked as I made a show of the small bag in my hand. I gave a small wave and headed toward Izzy's room. 
                          
I hated hospitals. I especially hated hospitals that housed children whose innocence was slowly taken away by the dripping IV bags and constant beeping of monitors. Hospitals also reminded me of my dad; I can still hear the fading beeps from the heart monitor that told me he was slipping away.
                          
But being around those kids and seeing their bright spirits helped raise mine. I loved how resilient they were and to know I could be a smile they needed for the day made coming to see them all the more worth it.
                          
I rounded the corner to Izzy's room, peeking my head in to witness her brushing her dolls hair. My heart melted in a puddle as she leaned in and gave her doll a kiss on the head and a big hug. 
                          
I stepped inside and Izzy's head snapped up; the biggest smile spread across her freckle dusted face.
                          
"Gracie!!" 
                          
I smiled at my nickname. She was my Izzy girl, and I was her Gracie. 
                          
"Hi my sweet girl! How are you even prettier from when I saw you last?" I sat down on the bed next to her, setting the bag in my hands down on the floor, and pulled her in for a hug. She giggled in my hair and squeezed me tightly. 
                          
"It's cause my dollie and I had a makeover! My mommy took us to get outfits for my doll at the American Girl store, and they did our makeup too!" 
                          
"That sounds like so much fun! I wish I could have been there." 
                          
"Me too! But you were having your own fun, right? Hey! Also, where's my surprise?" Izzy clapped her small hands, bouncing up and down in anticipation. 
                          
I smiled and lifted the bag off the floor, placing it in front of her. She squealed and tore open the yellow paper bag. Pulling out the brown, plush horse I bought her, she grinned and squeezed it tightly to her chest as she rocked it back and forth. 
                          
"Thank you so much! I love it!" 
                          
"You're welcome Izzy. I'm glad you do. It actually reminded me of the horse I rode while I was there. I saw it in the gift shop and knew you had to have it."
                          
"You got to ride a horse!?" Izzy's eyes lit up. "Tell me all about it! Pretty please?"
                          
I chuckled and patted her hand. 
                          
"Well...it was actually quite an adventure." I started and began to tell her all about the rude man who ended up being my trail guide and how we got lost in the mountains. I told of Colt's and my adventures, how he wasn't the rude guy I had thought, and how we even became friends. Every so often, her eyes would go wide from shock, or she would laugh at something she found funny, or gasp at the scarier moments. The whole time though, she was completely enthralled by my story. It made me feel like I was reliving it all over again, and the raw emotions came flooding back. 
                          
"I think this Colt guy sounds like a handsome prince, but like a cowboy prince."
                          
I had laid down next to her with her head resting on my chest rubbing her head while I told my story. 
                          
"Oh, you do? Well I'm not so sure he's a prince, but he definitely was my knight in cowboy armor." 
                          
She giggled and lifted her head to look in my eyes. 
                          
"Is Mark your prince then?" 
                          
"Sure. He's my prince." 
                          
Izzy never liked Mark, so I wasn't sure she would be happy with my answer. 
                          
"And Colt's your knight?"
                          
I ruffled her hair and smiled at her need of a fairy tale. "I suppose sweet girl. He did save me."
                          
Her lips scrunched to the side as she thought for a moment before speaking. "Do Princesses always end up with the Prince?"
                          
"Well...no, but I guess they usually they do."
                          
"Gracie, you've always been a princess to me. The most beautifulest princess who doesn't need any prince or knight to save you. I think you're strong and brave--like Rapunzel when she left her tower! You went on an adventure like her too! But I did like that Flynn was by her side. It was better that way, wasn't it? He even saved her." 
                          
They saved each other.
                          
"Yes, but Flynn was no prince." I said, tapping her nose. "He was just a guy who loved her." 
                          
"Maybe all princesses should end up with guys like Flynn then, even if they are no prince. I think I like the fairy tale better that way." 
                          
I went to open my mouth but closed it in the same breath. I just stared at that little innocent face in front of me who seemed to know more about life than I did. Didn't I tell you she had the best soul? 
                          
If only real life were as happily ever after as the fairy tales.