I'll Be Here

                                    

                                          
"One heartbreak closer to happily ever after..."
                          
♕JOY♔
                          
I lost track of time as I drifted from sleep and wakefulness. I heard hushed voices, whisperings, and someone weeping next to me while apologizing continuously. What's happening? Am I dead? What about my baby? How's my baby? I cried and begged for answers but no voice came out of me. They can't hear me and then... darkness took over me once again.
                          
A sudden sharp pain on my back and abdomen pulled me out from my unconscious state. I moaned as I tried to weakly grasp at something. I guess I'm not dead yet. I was lying on a stretcher and was being wheeled into a room. I think I saw Jackson and Hani among those who were taking me into the room. I was somewhat relieved to see familiar faces.
                          
"I'm sorry Sungjae, but you can't go inside." I heard Jackson inform Sungjae.
                          
"She'll be fine. We'll wait for her here, okay?" Eunkwang reassured him.
                          
Sungjae who was holding my hand all along squeezed it, he left a quick peck on my forehead before loosening his grip and letting go of my hand. "Don't make your mom suffer too much, okay?" He caressed my baby bump then gave me a sweet kiss on the lips. "I'm sorry Joy~ah... and I... I love you."
                          
I've always imagined him talking to our child but not in a situation like this and I waited for months to hear him say those words to me again. I cried. Again. How bittersweet.
                          
Everything became hazy once I was inside the cold room. Jackson was right next to me giving intravenous injections. He probably gave me some anesthetics because I can't feel my lower body and the severe pain a while ago was gone. It felt like I was lying there for ages while people continuously poked and did something in my abdomen. I was staring blankly at the bright lights while trying to grasp the whole situation. Apparently, I'm in an operating room and these people are performing surgery on me. Are they going to deliver my baby? But I'm still in my 28th weeks of pregnancy... How high is the survival rate for a baby delivered prematurely? Will my baby survive this? My thoughts and unanswered questions increased my anxiety. I was only distracted from my contemplation when I heard a cry – one of the sweetest cry I heard in my entire existence – my baby. My euphoria was short lived because my baby stopped crying. I heard machines beeping then people barking orders and some yelling. What's happening? I suddenly felt sleepy, my eyelids became heavy, the voices became hushed and then before I completely lost my consciousness, I saw Jackson looking worried and troubled at something. Why? What's wrong? I frowned as fear and worry crept on me before sleep won over me.
                          
♔SUNGJAE♕
                          
"Could you please stop walking back and forth Sungjae, you're making me dizzy." Eunkwang pulled me and made me sit on the couch at the waiting area. I sat for about five minutes then stood up and started pacing once again. Eunkwang shook his head disapprovingly at me before sighing loudly. I just can't keep still. I felt like I needed to do something or else I'd go crazy.
                          
What have I done? I was too blinded by my jealous disposition. It was always Eunwoo who saved her. It was him who stayed by her side. I should be thankful for what he did... but what did I do? I pushed both of them away. My brows knitted into a frown. I was lost in my thoughts while I paced to and fro absent mindedly. I wanted to tell Eunwoo about my plans back then but when I received the envelope and saw its content, I felt betrayed. I thought I was the victim and that they played with my feelings. I was full of vengeance at the sight of their photos together and the pregnancy report that I wanted Joy to hurt as much as I did. Changsub was right, how stupid can I get? I should have checked the facts first with Eunwoo.
                          
Someone blocked my path at the same time I felt a fist forcefully colliding right into my face. Eunwoo was looking at me furiously. He was about to throw another punch but Ilhoon and Hyunsik stopped him. I stood frozen, not trying to defend myself or fight back because I knew I deserved to be beaten. Eunwoo struggled and hit me once again, he looks really pissed. 
                          
"Are you happy now? Is this also part of your plan? Do you want to get rid of Joy and your child, huh?!" his muscles tensed as he clenched his jaw, he was ready to lash out his anger at me once again but the sound of footsteps running inside the operating room unit caught our attention. The door suddenly burst open as someone ran towards the exit followed by Minhyuk and Peniel. They were all wearing OR caps and gowns. 
                          
"What the hell is happening right now?" Illhoon asked loudly. 
                          
Fear slowly wrapped around me and tried to overwhelm me. I was about to run and follow them but Eunwoo stopped me, shaking his head. "Stay with Joy. I'll follow them... I'm doing this for Joy, I haven't forgiven you yet." He nodded at Eunkwang before quickly running towards the exit.
                          
We found Seung-gi at the entrance of the operating room unit. Hyunsik and Ilhoon stayed behind while Seung-gi ushered Eunkwang and I into a room where we cleaned ourselves and wore gowns, caps and masks before we entered the room where Joy was. 
                          
I found Jackson next to her. She was lying unconscious on the operating table while doctors surrounded her. The guilt and fear inside me intensified. She's been through a lot and what did I do? What have I done? Joy, I'm so sorry. I squeezed her hand then looked around the room for our baby but found none. Where's the baby? Confused, I looked at Jackson who was trying to avoid my gaze, he only shook his head at me. My heart beat started to accelarate, my hands became sweaty and it started trembling as fear tried to consume me.  
                          
"She's losing blood." One of the doctors announced.
                          
"Her vitals are dropping." Jackson stated.
                          
My heart dropped. Everything was a blur. I can't seem to hear them anymore. My grip on Joy's hand tightened. It felt like she's slipping away from me. My world crumbled down into pieces. 
                          
This. Everything. It's my fault.



                          
A/N: Again, thanks for reading my story. I hope I wont be disappointing you guys. 😓😅 I'll try to finish the story before the year ends. 😉 Have a safe and happy weekend!