Chapter 4 - Playing with fire

                                    

                                          
"I play with the fire of my own truth, I will burn for the things I love." 
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Natalie's POV
I watched in pure confusion and dread as he turned around and walked away, more than ready to leave. The devastation flickering in his eyes as he muttered the last sentence crushed me, it reflected how every hope he ever had was splintered, fragmented, and torn away. 
He did something. He has hurt someone. That's the only information I was able to grasp. Clearly, it's someone he cares about, someone close to him and his heart. A friend? A girlfriend? A family member? 
I have no clue. I couldn't figure out the rest. 
All I saw was guilt, tearing at his insides ever so slowly. I saw a mess of a man, those scares graved over his skin are alone proof of his struggle with life. The people who followed us tonight are another evidence of his dangerous, unbalanced lifestyle. He is in trouble, and he is in too deep. 
But what shook my core is seeing in his eyes a man who held so much hatred for himself, that it blinded him from everything and everyone around him. 
That alone had me rushing after him, "Nikolas," I called for him as my legs hurriedly took me outside the apartment, my gaze falling over his back by the stairs, ready to descend down and leave. 
He paused and turned his head around, allowing me to step forward and catch up with him. I stopped when I was close enough. His eyes fell on mine and all my words evaporated into thin air. 
I gulped down and asked, "Will I see you on Monday?" I asked, "For our session, I mean." 
He shook his head, "I think it's better if I don't come," He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck and added, "You said I am wasting your time, let's not waste more." 
I guiltily shook my head, "I didn't mean that, I am just...I am just tired and exhausted," A low sigh parted my lips, "And what happened with those guys definitely didn't help." My fingers nervously played with the hem of my shirt, "I want us to continue with our sessions," I honestly admitted, "Because, just now, you actually opened up to me, you finally said what you really feel and I think that's an improvement," Maybe this is the first step toward him trusting me, "So, will you...will you come on Monday?"
He stared at me for a full second and I could only wonder what is he thinking right now, "I am not sure." 
I shrugged, "I will wait for you either way." 
His eyebrows pulled closer, a bit confused at my words. He is probably thinking why this girl is so clingy and not letting me leave.
I licked my lips and edged backward, "Anyway, thank you for not letting me get killed tonight," I said, a hint of playfulness in my tone, "But, let's not make a habit from it." 
He silently nodded his head in return. I started to back away, "Good night," I mumbled before I turned around and got inside my apartment. I heard his footsteps fade away and I shut my door close. A long breath pushed out my lungs and I pressed my back against the door. 
My eyes fell on Massie, my cat, standing by the living room's door and staring up at me, her tail began to wag and I sighed, "I am playing with fire, aren't I?" 
"Meow," She said, totally agreeing. 
I walked forward and dropped down by her side. She inched closer to my lap and started to rub her head against my legs, "But it's okay," I added, justifying my actions, as I ran my fingers through her furry head, "I will be careful."