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John had the nastiest sleep he had ever got, he saw so many bad things in his nightmares he was scared to even go back to sleep again. Sometimes when he gets nightmares he wishes Sherlock would be there to tell him things would be alright and hug him. He wished that because he would always see him in his dreams, falling from the top of the hospital, it makes him want to cry every-time he woke up from that nightmare, but that image would never get out of his mind.
But one of the weirdest nightmares was, seeing William lay in the table at the morgue but he had the face of Sherlock and it would change from time to time, making it look really weird and he didn't understand shit of it. He woke up really early, took his jacket and got out to supposingly go on a morning walk.
John opened the door and tried to make no sound while doing it, than he took the road that takes him to the park. There were barely any people in the streets and he found no cab. It was possibly 5 in the morning and only those he went to work early could be seen rushing, some were just ordering coffee and others were opening their workplaces in hope people would bye things that morning.
He was just trying to clear his mind, whatever was happening to his soulmate right now was really affecting him in many ways. He two days ago was sure he would never find a soulmate, that girls weren't his area, and that he might care a little bit too much about Sherlock and his beautiful smile. But now...he was just confused about everything in his life.
And than is family, his mom was asking him to just go for a visit like nothing had happened, Harry was also getting her hopes high that he would accept to go, even though she knew best what had happened when they lived in the same house. She knew how they reacted when they found about Clara. And than they asked John to change his soulmark, they changed his name to John which was supposed to be his second name so his soulmate would have it hard to recognize him, and they made him go to therapy treatments for his 'sexuality orientation' hopping he wouldn't be gay afterwards.
His dad used to despise him for him being 'him' and made him suicidal in some point. His mental situation got worse and worse until he left after 'The Big Argument' to live with Harry and soon after that go to college and study to be a doctor. But it never changed the trauma he got from than, and now going back to that house, was like living all that HELL again, but none of them seemed to understand him and his reasons.
HELL. If Sherlock could just see how much he cared about him, about his smile, about his everything...Just if Sherlock would love him back knowing he wasn't his soulmate and love him even though they were not meant for each-other.
His feet took him to the Big Ben clock, he knew the way to get inside it so he just made his way to the top of it. Mrs.Hudson had told him that Sherlock went there to think when he had a tough case. A case about him loving someone who wasn't his soulmate, a dead probably soulmate and family issues. He really needed Sherlock and his stupid advices , his help in this case that he didn't seem to be able to find a solution for. Well John had a tough case in his mind and he wasn't getting down from that clock until he would find the solution for it.
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Sherlock in the other side was just making twists and turns finding it hard to fall asleep after he heard John have a nightmare and than storm outside the flat in 5 am in the morning. He had always wanted to be there when John had nightmares from war and his traumas, but John would probably find it inappropriate and disturbing or even disgusting. Why was he such an idiot thinking John needed his help with his problems anyway? All he had ever bought to John was pain and danger, but yet John was still there just like that loyal dog that stays with you no matter what even when you try to get them away from you.
His mind was messed up in so many ways, and he had so many thoughts rushing in his brain and for fucks sake it was 5 in the morning to be overthinking! He had to do something productive, for example solve a case or burn the flat down with an experiment, but there he stood being a teenager in existential crisis.
He sat up and wore some proper clothes to stay around the house, deciding it would be a grate morning to solve the case about the dead William.
This case seemed to worry John so much, and he wanted to know the reason why. And the worst thing that could worry John about this case could be a connection which Sherlock wasn't able to figure out. He would say John killed that man if John wouldn't had been there eating dinner with Harry. The height of the person who did the kill matched his, the strength and will also matched to his, but John had no reason to be killing a man named William and cut the soulmates mark off the body. His John would never hurt someone without a good reason, but who could. But the doubt seed was already planted in his mind.
While he was wearing his clothes he took out his bracelet that covered his soulmark. Hamish...his Hamish that he seemed to never find, never cross paths, or he had but he was too blind to see it and that scared him. But even though he had made a promise to find his soulmate, he deep down wished his soulmark had John name on it.
He just felt so strange around his doctor, like something had entered his stomach and was kicking it up and down wanting to brake free. Or how he felt an urge to amaze his blogger all the time while solving crime. Or how he would spent 80% of his day thinking of nothing else but John's hair, skin, lips, face and his glowing personality that reflexed only a pure soul and an amazing care about people, especially for Sherlock.
Well he already knew he was partly gay, because Harry mentioned his soulmate being a guy, plus his sister was also gay, and he already had proven that so may times, he didn't even count them anymore.
It always would make him wonder, would John loved him even though he wasn't his soulmate?
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So many questions in both guys minds, so many problems to solve...If they just found the right advices, maybe than they would realize that it wasn't the soulmark that brought them together, and that it wasn't the soulmark that made them fall in love soooo deep for each other...Just What If.!?
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Soulmates // Johnlock
Fanfiction-Johnlock Fanfic- 🍩-What if in an alternate reality people have visual signs of soulmates identity? Names written on their wrists? 🍪-And what if William Sherlock Scott Holmes has a mysterious name in his wrist that he cannot find it's owner?-"Who...
