All Of My Life (28)

                                    

                                          
 WARNING!
This chapter contains potentially triggering content, such as mentions of blood, suicidal thoughts, overdosing on medication, and descriptions of a suicide attempt.
But at least this ends happily!
Still, exercise caution when proceeding with this chapter.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
We live. We die. Somewhere along the way, if we're lucky, we may find someone to help lighten the load. 
But I've lost him. Both of them. I am eternally alone.
The castle was filled with a deadly silence as I held Mei Hua's hand and walked her back to her bedroom from the library. The sky was a dirty gray, reminiscent of how I felt inside. Completely lost.
"Can I ask you something?" Mei Hua said suddenly, and I looked down at her and nodded. "Why is-"
The sound of two familiar voices shouting in the study room nearby caught both of our attention and Mei fell silent, gripping my hand tighter. The voices were faded and blurred, and I could only make out a few words - obscene ones at that. A sense of dread was starting to creep across my skin.
"Sweetie, go back to your room," I ordered, squeezing her hand with a gentle smile. "This sounds like something I might need to take care of."
"Are you sure?" Mei asked, looking up at me with glistening eyes. I pet her head and kneeled down, pulling her into a hug.
"I'm sure. Xia is probably wondering where you are. Go and spend some time with her."
Mei Hua hugged me back, then pulled away and began walking down the hall to her room. As she reached the corner, she gave one last glance back at me, then disappeared from my sight. I immediately rose to my feet and hastened to the study room door, pressing my ear to it to listen in, but instantly regretted my decision as the yelling nearly blew out my eardrums. I stood to the side and pressed my back against the wall, leaning slightly as I bit my tongue, listening to the argument unfolding inside.
"You are being ridiculous."
Yoongi?
"It's like you're avoiding her!"
Namjoon... 
Things between us have been strange ever since we kissed four days ago. Everything about that night felt so wrong. Truth be told, I couldn't get Yoongi out of my mind, no matter how little he showed up or the way he glared at me. Deep down, I saw utter despair and destruction in his eyes, and there was nothing I could do to make it better.
"You can't be serious!" Yoongi yelled. "I'm suffering! You have no idea what I'm going through!"
"I never said you weren't suffering. But she is dying without you. Do you understand the damage you've done by not being with her?! Right now, it seems like the only thing you care about is yourself," Namjoon argued. I could already feel the tension from outside. 
"Are you fucking kidding me? I'm the one who's dying here!"
"You're paying a small price compared to what she's going through."
"You have no right to tell me how I should feel!"
"I have a right to be angry!"
"You have a right? God, I can't even look at you right now."