Chapter Twenty-Nine

                                    

                                          

                            

                                
                            
                              
                                  
                              
                              
                                
                                  
                                  
                                
                              
                             
                            
                            
                          
                          
                          
I pushed Jaylen off of me, catching my breath. There were many eyes on us and I didn't want to be the trending topic for people to talk about on campus. 
                          
"That doesn't excuse your behaviour towards me," I told him, panting slightly. He caught me off guard with that kiss. Like he was trying to deter me away from my mission of getting shit straight from him. 
                          
"Promise me to understand," He said, his eyes not leaving mine. That only caused me to become nervous. 
                          
I nodded, not being able to speak. We weren't going to move from our spot. Students can watch us but at least they wouldn't know what we were talking about. Because I wanted to know why he blew up on me like that. 
                          
"Speak, Lilliana. Use your words." 
                          
"I promise to understand." 
                          
He sighed, "Please understand that I can't tell you at this moment," My jaw clenched in anger. He wasn't even going to explain himself. 
                          
"Are we keeping secrets now?" I asked, "Because that's what you're doing." 
                          
"This is for the best. You have to understand, Lilliana. I will tell you when it is the right time. When I figured it all out. In the meantime, I want to continue this relationship with you." 
                          
What he was asking was contradicting his actions. How could he want a relationship with secrets? I had watched enough movies and read enough books that secrets only lead to broken relationships; which leads to heart-breaks. 
                          
I wanted to be with him. Every part of my heart had been accustomed to him, to his touch. He already managed to make himself home in every corner of my soul. Ripping him out was like ripping apart of me.
                          
The time we spent together, I found myself at ease. I was able to be myself while trying to find who I was. He created an environment filled with security. He made me believe that he was ready to catch me when I fell. 
                          
His arms were filled with thorns of lies and secrets. They were bound to cut me open, letting all of the false hopes and safe haven I thought he once was, fall out of me. 
                          
I moved his hands away from me and I took a step back from him. Maybe we needed a break. I needed the space to think if I wanted to move forward. I needed the time to think if he was worth the heartbreak. 
                          
"I understand. But I think we should have some time apart," I suggested, my eyes averted down the ground. Because I don't think I could go through with a break if I saw his reaction. 
                          
"Is that what you want?" His voice not faltering at all. But what did I expect? He was accustomed to masking his emotions all the time. He couldn't make me an exception. 
                          
"Yes," I whispered. God, I can feel my heart tearing up. I bit my lip as the tears built up in my eyes, threatening to fall. 
                          
"Look at me, princess," He requested and I did because it might be a while until I get to look at his face again. And I stared into his emerald eyes (I used to hate green but now it was growing on me).