There were some wounds that would never heal, no matter how much time passed. It made her think about Dylan, and the familiar heartache eased into her chest. She wondered what he would have said if he were around. 
"Oh, that reminds me. I have something for you," she said before handing her a small piece of paper.
It had a name, number, and address.
"What's this?" she murmured, studying the address.
"My friend lives in an apartment block. There's one available to rent. It's small, but the rent is reasonable."
"Thanks." She shoved the paper into her pocket. She would call the number later once she was finished work.
No matter what was happening around her, she needed to keep herself on the path to her independence. She had taken the step to get a job on her own, and her next step was to get a place of her own.
She didn't have furniture, but she would manage. 
On her break, she called the number and set up a time to view the apartment after her shift. Feeling more focused, she decided she needed to do something to mark the new life was embarking on. She remembered Gina, Rebecca's friend, the hairdresser who had told her to come by so she could do her hair.
Her hand touched her hair. She needed a change. Didn't they say a haircut was as good as a vacation? Maybe that's what she needed. It wouldn't take away the heartache, but it would help her feel like she was more in control of who she was and who she was about to become.
She didn't want to be known as the girl who had dated Karsyn for years, or the fiancée who had walked out on Charlie in the middle of the night, or the girl who hadn't been enough to keep the notorious player Myles. She had to still work on how she viewed herself when it came to Dylan's untimely death, but that would take more than a new apartment and haircut. She was still seeing Dr. Reed and trying to work on it, but maybe with time the guilt would ease and she wouldn't feel an overwhelming guilt every time she remembered her lost friend. Maybe it was a good thing she was single and things hadn't really worked out with Terrence. 
After her break she was surprised to see Terrence at his usual table. What was he doing there?
She approached him, feeling nervous.
"Hi," she greeted him.
"Hey, beautiful," he said with a smile. He seemed just like his usual self, as if nothing had happened between them.
She did a quick scan of nearby ears before leaning closer. The last thing she needed was drama at work.
"What are you doing here?" she whispered under her breath slowly, trying to figure out what his presence meant.
"I know things didn't work out on our date but I'm not ready to give up." 
"I don't want to lead you on, Terrence." She had done enough of that with Charlie.
"You have done nothing to encourage this," he remarked. "I haven't gotten to where I have by giving up easily and I'm not about to start."
"I don't want you to waste your time, Terrence. I'm not just hung up on this guy. I love him—like, really in love." She hoped her words would make him realize there was no chance of anything happening between them.
"I'll take that chance," he teased, his eyes sparkling. 
There was nothing she could say that was going to sway him. It was ultimately his choice and she had been as honest as she could—there wasn't anything more she could do.
"You got any new pick-up lines?" she asked, ready for another corny one she would be able to laugh off.
His smile widened. "I have plenty."
He continued like their date had never happened and she went along with it. 
When Macy commented on that, she shrugged while watching Terrence from the other side of the room. "I told him I wasn't over my ex, but he doesn't want to give up."
"Whatever you have, I want some," Macy said, giving her a wink.
That was the thing—she didn't believe she was anything special. Why would a good-looking, successful guy waste his time on her? As far as she was concerned, she had no luck when it came to the opposite sex, and her decisions with men and other life choices she questioned daily. 
Who would want someone as messed up as she was?
Then something dawned on her. The same could have been said for Myles. As far as he was concerned, he was too messed up to be with anyone and she wanted him more than she had wanted anyone before. It made no sense.
She was quickly learning that when it came to love, not much did.